- I made a man cry in my house
and this has caused a bit of a guilt spiral.
I'm being haunted by confrontations in my past
and I can't decide if I should feel bad about them
or if the universe was just out to get me that day.
And I need you watching this to tell me,
am I the hole or is the universe more of a hole,
a black hole?
One of these things happened last week
and it is fresh inside me, uh,
and I'm waking up in the night
feeling like a horrible, disgusting human.
This whole spiral situation started with the fact
that I made a dude cry in an incident we will call,
"I made a dude cry".
So as you know,
our house is infested with builders at most times.
As when they said the house was finished,
there was loads of things wrong with it
and they said they'd come back to fix it,
but they've taken forever,
and now they're just like popping in every so often
and tweaking the bath to make sure it has water,
you know, little small snags, and it is taking forever.
We've had one of the rego dudes in
and he's been working on the woof all, the woof? (chuckles)
The wolf, the roof all week.
It is been quite stressful for him
'cause it's been raining and generally gross outside
and I've been nice, I've been making him cups of teas
in his favorite mug.
We get to Friday and he's due back on Monday morning, right?
And he tells me he's been having a really stressful week,
there's been loads of work going on in other places
that's been stressing him out.
And the roof has been the end of his tether
and he's finally finished it
and he's happy just to have a weekend.
What he didn't know,
is just before he started that conversation,
I had noticed a giant (beep) hole in the office ceiling,
which looked like he was about to cave in,
exactly where my computer setup is.
All right, so we've got a computer
and then gaping hole, that is not good.
So whatever he's trying to do,
he's made it a bit worse, to put it lightly.
So I say, "So sorry to mention this now,"
because they get a bit northern and around builders
'cause, for some reason,
I feel like it makes me more manly or something.
What about the ball game, lad?
And I usher him into the office,
I said, "I did just notice this hole in my ceiling."
And he says, "Did you really have to tell me this now
at the end of the day and not on Monday morning?"
Oh, I wanna pull my own face off,
I didn't notice it then,
I just noticed it now when you're about to leave.
And I thought it'd be a good thing to mention,
you know, in case the whole ceiling collapses.
But in my heart, I did know that we wouldn't be able
to do anything about it at the weekend anyway,
and it would be a Monday job.
But I thought I should mention it.
Anyways, his eyes got all wet, like that hamster on TikTok,
and I saw the formation of a tear and he just went,
"I'll deal with it on Monday,"
in kind of a stern voice,
walked out, shut the door, didn't say bye.
It probably could have waited till Monday
'cause it wasn't actively leaking, but it was an issue.
As a customer, I felt like I should tell him ASAP
just because the house could have fallen down.
And then, if I didn't mention it,
they'd be like, "Why didn't you mention it?"
While you're sat in the rubble, Billy.
But also, I don't know what is going on,
maybe his hamster is sick,
maybe he's going through a triple divorce.
Now, I feel bad as I know nothing
could have been done at the weekend anyway
and I shouldn't have mentioned it, or should I?
Uh, should I have waited?
Tell me in the comments.
No tears in my house, please.
If I'm judging myself,
I'm gonna say I'm not the hole, but my timing was bad.
Here's my next trauma, VidCon.
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Let's flash back to VidCon.
Right, this one is dumb,
but I literally wake up at 4:00 AM remembering this
and feel bad.
So we're at a VidCon creator mixer thing
where you can mingle with other bros,
and there's stuff like a denim jacket station.
I think I've still got the jacket actually, one sec.
It says snazzy jacket, they put me on the spot.
On reflection, I feel like that's a weak slogan.
What would I get if I got it now? Jacketussy. (laughs)
Denim Dude.
Honk if you're a bear, what?
Anyway, there was a dude doing caricatures there as well,
of course, and there was a YouTuber
that had just started getting theirs drawn.
So me and Dan joined the queue
because we wanted to get a little drawing.
And I say, "Hey," to the guy, and I'm like,
"Hey, can we go next if you've got time?"
And he's like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, join the queue."
And these take a while, we're in line for 20 minutes
and he's barely drawn this person's nose.
And then I notice a glorious friend over yonder
and I say to the guy,
"Sorry, we're just gonna go over there,
we'll be five minutes, then we'll jump back in."
And he's like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay."
Thomas, he's a lovely creature,
and once he starts talking, you don't want him to stop.
And it might have gone on for, let's say,
seven minutes instead of the five.
And I look back over and I noticed the guy's finishing up.
So we walk back over
and I noticed a girl is now stood in the queue
and she must have been there about three minutes.
So I'm just thinking, oh no, she must think she's next.
But I verbally reserved our place in the queue
and we've done 20 minutes of solid queuing time
to get this drawing.
So I just say, "Hey, sorry we were in the queue
for like half an hour,
but we just had to go over there and get something,
and this guy will vouch for us."
The drawing guy just looks up and goes, "What?"
Doesn't have a clue who we are.
So the girl then says, "No, I think I should be next
'cause I'm in the queue and you are not."
But I said, "So sorry, we've been in the queue for so long
and we really have to do it now
because otherwise we're gonna miss our meet and greet."
And she just gave me a big scowl and angrily walked off.
Now, as a British person, queues are sacred
and we technically betrayed the sanctity of the queue
because if you leave the queue,
you have forfeited your position in the queue.
I don't know why I feel bad about it, I need to let this go.
I'm sorry, queue girl,
you should have had your drawing before us.
We shouldn't have talked to Thomas
or I should have beaconed him over,
beckoned, beaconed, both.
So he could have been in the queue,
we could have had a three-way caricature.
So do we blame Thomas? So let's just blame Thomas.
No, I mean, I think that is my bad, to be honest.
I think I'm gonna go with mild hole on that one.
I could have been better in that situation.
But was it worth waking up
in a cold cringe sweat for seven years?
No.
I feel better, I released something there.
Right, last one, Mother's Day.
This is relevant because it's around Mother's Day
in the UK right now, whenever I post this, side note,
why do they have it on different days in different places?
That's just gonna give people a heart attack
thinking they missed it at different times
when it's mentioned.
Oh, this one, this one has been troubling me, lads.
This one's been a deep pain.
So a couple of years ago, a neighbor came over
and said, "Right, it's Mother's Day coming up
and I've got a present and it's got to arrive today,
otherwise I'm not gonna be able to give it to her,
so are you gonna be in
and please can I get it delivered to your house?"
And I was like, "Yeah, yeah, that's fine,
gonna be in all day, don't worry, go out,
I'll take care of it."
Mm, bear with me, all right?
When agreeing,
I forgot I had to run out and post my own gift,
a little five minute chunk out of an entire day.
And usually post or mail gets delivered around 5:00 PM
and it's 11:00 AM at this point, and I'm like,
it's very unlikely the postman is gonna come in the morning
when they never have in the history of Phil.
So I do a big sprinty, like Sonic,
get to the post box, post my mom's present, come back.
Guess what I find?
A big thing slapped on the door,
"You missed your parcel, ya div."
I felt terrible,
like the ground had opened up and nibbled my ass.
And then, at 6:00 PM, I got the dreaded knock
from the neighbor being like,
"Hello, have you got the package for my mother?:
And I told a filthy disgusting lie, like the liar that I am,
and I just said, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry,
I was in all day, but they didn't knock,
I just found this under the front door,"
and gave them the slip.
And I feel so bad.
Some miscellaneous Janet is without her flowers.
Your child was a disappointment because of me.
I feel like I need to go to prison for that one
'cause that was terrible, I shouldn't have lied.
Why did the universe do that to me?
Maybe she would've sniffed the flowers
and there was a beetle on a petal
and it would've gone in her nose and eaten her brainstem.
I don't know.
So am I a hole for that?
Yes, is the universe a bigger hole? Yes.
I do feel a bit lighter though.
Just be honest, guys, I feel like I processed this.
I had some therapy with you,
but help me in the comments for all those,
do I deserve jail?
Am I forgiven for my sins?
Or are we blaming the universe just a little bit?
I do think I'm too much of a people pleaser though.
If Mary was like, "Oh, I've left my favorite pencil
in the burning building,"
I'd be like, "I'll run inside, no worries."
These people probably all forgot this stuff,
it's unhealthy just to relive every negative situation
you've had with a person, you need to let things go.
Okay, I feel better, thank you, bye.
Thanks again to my bros at Scentbird
for sponsoring this video.
If you wanna get 55% off your first order,
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There is a link below.
If you wanna hang out with me a bit more today,
that'd be nice,
you can go check out my last video
where we go snooping around some really expensive houses,
it's quite a fun one, subscribe, gimme a thumbing.
Have a lovely day and I'll see you very soon, good bye.