(rock music)
- Class, who can tell me some alternative forms of energy?
- [Man] Well there's wind power
which at 4.3% is the fifth largest
source of electricity in the United State.
- Excellent, I'm gonna put down wind.
- [Man] Yeah, I was also gonna say wind,
but since Mike said wind, I'm gonna just
say weind.
- Okay, I'll put down wind again.
- Professor Rich, why do we have to have class
in this janitor's closet anyway?
- Because the dean put us on probation
because of that fucking nark.
Wait, someone's coming.
Boy, it's sure good to not be teaching anymore.
- Yeah, it's too bad you're just a big stupid loser now.
- [Man] Yeah, you're scum.
- I kinda wish you were dead right now.
- Yeah, you suck so hard.
- Okay, enough,
enough, he's left..
- I just farted.
- Okay, let's go.
I'm Professor Rich, expert in science.
These are my devoted students.
Together with the aid of harmless drugs,
we explore science's greatest hypothetical questions.
(techno music)
- Hey, this wasn't here before.
- The dean already gave this class away
to Professor Leaveman from Egyptology.
- Wish they'd Leaveman us alone.
Pretty good right?
- It's not fair Professor Rich,
you don't deserve this.
Pat does, but you don't.
- Those are kind words Jen,
but coming from you they mean very little.
Right now we're on probation.
And we could still redeem ourselves
but we have to keep our noses clean.
That means no vaping.
Now,
let's get started with a hypothetical.
What if martial arts
could be used to harness energy?
- Well I guess it would really depend on
how much energy we're talking.
If you were to harness what amounts
to the electricity of a large city,
I'd estimate you probably need
about 100,000 martial artists kicking around the clock.
- So it could work?
- Yeah.
- Wait, somebody's coming.
I was just fucking with ya.
Instead of staying up all night,
I roamed the streets and then when the sun came up,
I had an idea.
Solar energy.
Hello Xan.
- Yes, that's right.
- Yes, I am Professor Rich.
- Nice to meet you.
- I understand you're in expert in energy.
- My company uses thousands of mirrors to reflect light.
- Do you mind if I get a little closer?
- That would be great.
- Okay, great.
I have this
down on my list of questions.
Why?
- Why what?
- I just have why.
I have a theory what if alternative energy
can be done in a human way,
like through
some kind of motion.
- You're talking about like a human hamster wheel?
- Kind of.
A gerbil wheel.
- Most of the issues with that are
moral or
not scientific or technical in nature.
- This is the sun, right.
So as you describe, the sun starts to heat up
and then it creates
energy.
Now in human form,
we're moving about, we're a whirling dervish of motion
and ha.
This is a ninja warrior or some kind of martial artist.
He's moving,
ha ha ha.
(techno music)
So could a karate chop
charge my iPhone?
Could a nice well placed kick
boil some water?
- If you had enough of them, I could imagine
you could attach some kind of power generation device.
(beeps)
- Excuse me.
Your old trusty pager.
I've gotta go.
And scene.
Okay, stop.
Stop.
5.7 kilowatts.
You've officially lit this bulb for 10 seconds.
(cheers)
- Well, well, well.
How clever of you to return to your old classroom.
Oh no, wait, I meant stupid.
Consider all of you on double probation.
- But I've got more important classes to go to.
- You should have thought of that
before you joined these reprobates.
- I don't own any real estate.
- Help, I'm here against my will.
- Nice try Mrs. Pearson, you've been
in this class for eight months.
All of you have made an abysmal mistake
siding with this buffoon.
He could cost you your futures.
Energy from martial arts, the nerve.
You know what, an another thing, you people-
(crash)
- Hi, I'm here on the set of the new Woody Allen film
Bananas Two to meet with legendary
stunt coordinator Steven Ho.
Steven hi.
- Hi, how are ya?
- Professor Rich.
- Pleasure.
- We're trying to harness energy from karate.
Is that possible?
- For
what purposes?
- We've attached electrodes to our arms
in order to light up the room.
So we need to use the most expendable
energy for karate as possible.
- So you want people to do
karate to create energy?
- Yes.
I was must wondering what moves
in karate are probably give you the most energy.
(gasps)
- Would you like to try the hitting?
- I would like to try the hitting.
I am f-ed and fucked.
- Don't worry Professor Rich,
one of us will take the blame for you.
- Hell no, we're all gonna die.
- I wish I had Tater with me.
- What's Tater, your lunch or?
- No, my dog.
- You have a dog?
Cat's are clearly the best animal pets.
- What are you talking about?
- Because they are.
- No they're not, they suck.
- If it sucks, it's a cat.
- Cats are the cutest creatures on the face of the planet.
- They're both cute.
- No, they're not they can't be both cute.
(arguing)
(inspirational music)
- It works, it really works.
Class reinstated.
(techno music)
- Excellent.
- That was a mad possum.