If your addicted loved one says any of these 11 statements that I'm about to tell you then
you're being gaslighted which is a form of manipulation now this is actually part
two in my series on gaslighting statements but don't worry you don't have to watch them
in order you can watch this one and then go back and watch the first 10
if you'd like
now for those of you who are new here welcome to put the shovel down I'm Amber Hollingsworth
and this YouTube channel is all about helping you understand the
science and psychology of addiction so you can get your life
and your family back on track and get back out there and live the life that you want
and this is the only YouTube channel out there that tries to help you understand addiction from
every single angle now today we are focusing on
the family member's perspective and we're going to zone in on statements
or ways that your addicted loved one could be manipulating you otherwise known as gaslighting
now if you're not familiar with that term gaslighting means it's when someone purposely
makes you think that you're crazy which is very very extremely common when you're dealing with
someone struggling with an addiction it's their way of deflecting the conversation
the energy and putting it back on you or at least putting it somewhere else
now before I get into these if you are a loved one who's struggling with an addiction and you
feel trapped in the situation you want to know how to get out of it go to my website
there are tons and tons free addiction recovery resources there there's things
on the site for you if you're trying to conquer an addiction and there are
things on the site for you if you have a loved one and that you're trying to help
all right back to our topic number one I have to have that for my anxiety
if you don't let me have that or do that then I'll probably just go out and do
something worse do you want to make me do something number two the doctor prescribes
it what do you think you're smarter than the doctor the doctor says I need it
so I need it now nevermind the fact that this person may be going to four doctors who are
prescribing it or nevermind the fact that you know that your loved one isn't telling the doctor
the whole story or nevermind the fact that you know that their doctor doesn't know that they're
getting the prescription but they're also buying it off the street and a lot of other places right
number three you know this is why no one likes you this is why you don't have any
friends it's because you're so negative and critical and judgmental all the time
you just push everyone away from you number four you just think you're so
much better than everyone else who are you just miss high and mighty
you have flaws too number five you never seem to recognize
any of the good stuff that I do you only focus on this one little thing and you're constantly
making a big deal about it you don't pay any attention to all the other things that I do
now with that one again there's a little truth in that right and I would advise you to do different
I would advise you to not be constantly critical and pick out flaws but I want you to know when
someone is saying this to you when you're trying to have a conversation with them about something
or when they've done something wrong or you're confronting them you got to understand that this
is being said as a deflection statement number six is like a dagger in the heart
this is where your addicted loved one they know exactly where your sore spot is where your button
is and they choose to slam it it looks something like this you know what blank person fill in the
blank was right about you you're just a total B you're just a total a-hole you know what you
know when they said that when your best friend got mad at you and said that they were right
number seven you're just like your mother father brother sister you're
just so critical your expectations are so high you are never satisfied nothing is
ever good enough for you number eight the only reason you're making such a
big deal about this is honestly just because you're so like hyper sensitive
I know you grew up in your brother had an addiction problem but that doesn't mean
that everybody who has a couple of drinks is an alcoholic you're just way too sensitive
you always bring up my past you won't let me put the past behind me you're keeping me stuck can't
you just let me move on I just want to put it behind me and forget about it so I can move on
number 10 is like the ultimate ACE card it's when your loved one says something to you like
I can't believe that you would put your own kid or husband or sister or parent out on the street
you are cold what kind of person does that I would never do that to you and I'm
going to throw a number 11 in here as a little bonus for you because it's another classic
you've probably heard this before why do you always assume it's me every time
something happens you jump to the conclusion that it's me you probably spent that money
and you just don't remember it it's not always me now was there any gaslighting
statements that you've ever heard before or maybe you even said to someone before that
I didn't mention let me know that in the comments below and up next is a video you absolutely have
to watch to understand what to do when you encounter these types of manipulation tactics