did you know that there is more than one type of critic just as there's more than one type
of nut now i'm not referring to critics as nuts not all of them but understanding which type of
critic you're dealing with will affect how you decide to deal with them and their criticism
as different critics require different strategies so in this video i'm going to
explain how each type of critic has their own motivation for offering these words of wisdom
and why it's important to note that even though we want to learn how to avoid
and dismiss the negative feelings of criticism some critics are worth paying attention to
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so let's take a look at the different types of critics out there the irrelevant critic
is the one that we all know too well and can be found almost everywhere because these will
be scattered amongst your friends and family and sadly these don't have your best interest at heart
they are called irrelevant critics as their ultimate motivation and purpose is to be selfish
it's about doing something for themselves and not for you so the best way to view what they have to
say is to see it as well quite frankly totally irrelevant in your life the main aim of the
irrelevant critic is to hold you back so they may start discouraging you from doing something that
has the potential to show you off in a positive light as that instills them with envy or jealousy
you might mention that you want to start a new business venture and they will mock your ideas
and question your ability or let's say you want to start a dance class and they will laugh at
this absurd idea with you having two left feet you see this type of critique wants to keep you just
one notch below themselves they don't want you to develop yourself and potentially outshine them in
any way their thoughts and words have nothing to do with you they are irrelevant as they bear no
relevance to your own thoughts opinions actions or abilities so there's absolutely nothing to
be gained by listening to anything that they say let alone believing any of it to have any value
the best way therefore to manage the comments of the irrelevant critics is up to you and the
relationship that you have with them but if you in any doubt the best thing to do
is just to smile and thank them and then move forward with your own original ideas and plans
i love the penguins in the film madagascar and their best line is the smile and wave
boys smile and wave so regardless of how you respond the key is always just to smile to
yourself and use their fear of your success to drive you even harder to achieve your goal
the inner critic is much tougher one to handle as this is the critic that's with us 24 hours a day
and can be as powerful or as weak as you permit it to be learning to manage your inner critic will
make every aspect of your life so much easier to deal with your inner critic can however be
very deceptive as its purpose is not to help you succeed your inner critic's sole purpose is to
keep you safe the critique wants to help you avoid making a fool out of yourself avoid ridicule and
protect your ego your inner critic isn't concerned with your personal development or your desire
for adventure and happiness so understanding this fact is one of the most powerful tools
to prevent you from giving up as your inner critic is the most dangerous critic that you will face
our response to threat allows us to learn from our mistakes it's all about damage limitation and it
helps us to feel safe and secure but the problem is that this survival instinct can go too far
as our threat protection system is often triggered even when
there's no actual external threat and it's this over cautious response that in fact
gives us fearing what everyone else is going to think of us and fills us with self-doubt
our perception of threat and response to stress becomes so ingrained and so reflexive
and to be fair so mindless that our avoidance tactics automatically prevent us from engaging
in new experiences meaning that we don't even give these experiences a chance to succeed
in other words our inner critic tells us that if we don't want to face the possibility of rejection
then the safest thing is to not even try at all we're able to smile and walk away
from the irrelevant critic but it's not as easy to walk away from this inner critic
because it just sits there on your shoulder like a stubborn little stubborn thing so we
need to find a way to work with it and get it on our side the secret is about not just trying to i
don't know um dispute this inner critic it's more about pre-empting its thoughts and being prepared
'excuse me' for all the possible outcomes so try to come up with all the reasons why your
ideas or actions may be rejected unless all the things that could potentially be thrown at you
when you begin to do this you will notice that whatever issue or situation you're facing
immediately becomes less stressful because you've gone from the i'm not going to do it as this might
happen to when i do it maybe this will happen but either way i'm prepared and will deal with
any eventuality that should arise let's look at it this way when you set off on a longer new journey
you have no idea what the route looks like or what obstacles you're going to encounter along the way
and no matter how well it's been mapped out for you and it's been well signposted with you know
landmarks along the way to let you know that you're going in the right direction you will
inevitably at some point take a wrong turning but the thing is going in the wrong direction
isn't the issue here it's all about what you do about it now this isn't a multiple choice quiz
but if you are traveling on a long a new journey and you hit the point where you realize that at
some point you've gone wrong do you a just carry on afraid to admit that you took the wrong turning
b stop dead in your tracks refusing to go any further and berate yourself or even you know
thinking that you could get further than your own front door or c reevaluate your position and then
backtrack to the point where you have a milestone marking success and then forge out a new path
your critical inner voice may be getting louder telling you not to take chances
but if you can fight against these destructive thoughts you will grow stronger whilst your
inner critic grows weaker taking actual steps in the right direction no matter how small they are
and celebrating those small wins tells your inner critic that you're on the right path and it helps
you overcome this negative voice wrong turns along the way to your destination are inevitable
and it may feel like the end of the will to you but the overwhelming majority of people out there
they couldn't care less so learn how to detach and separate yourself from that stubborn little
stubborn thing on your shoulder and give your inner critic a lesson in perspective
the fact of the matter is that you do not know what is going to happen because you
cannot predict the future with any sense of certainty nobody can so why waste a valuable
mental energy on something that more than likely is simply a figment of your own imagination
constructive criticism is the type of criticism we all need and should want
it's not always easy to hear but it's intended to be helpful as it comes from a reliable source
the person providing constructive criticism should in theory have some level of experience
and expertise and they know what they're talking about so we should in theory be thankful when
someone takes the time to offer this constructive criticism but that's not always the case is it
as we can be sharing our ideas or doing a task and when the expert decides to offer their input
we hear the word criticism and not the word constructive so what can we do to take advantage
of constructive criticism well the one thing we should try and do is to appreciate what they might
have to say because most of us have to pay good money to somebody to get all this great advice
and that's exactly what good criticism is it's advice and experience so if
someone's offering it for free then maybe we should take as much of it as we possibly can
try and see constructive criticism as free guidance and personal development because
i think it's the wording that's wrong and not the intention as the word criticism just evokes
so much defensiveness as we immediately put up the barriers to what we're about to hear
and i'm convinced that if the same person said to you pay me this much money and i will teach
you how to do it and save you time and money down the line then we would see it as our lucky day
and i'm sure that we've all done a task in life and thought back to a time when we wished that
we had paid more attention to what we were being told or taught at the time it's a blessing when an
expert gives advice even if that advice is hard to hear so try and be open-minded and grateful when
somebody with a relevant opinion is trying to help you constructive criticism can speed your progress
in life so seek it out as much as possible everyone's a critic but few are worth listening
to and it seems that everyone has something to say about your diet plan your clothes your website and
everything else in your life but some people are genuinely trying to be helpful when they
offer criticism as they have probably made all these natural mistakes that you're about to make
so take a moment to decide whether they have the credentials and the good intentions to help
or whether it's just irrelevant nitpicking all criticism can feel like an attack on
our ego because when we put our best efforts into something we feel like our results are part of us
and then when someone suggests that those results aren't good enough it's natural to feel defensive
however it's important to relax and consider what you might just be able to gain because our ego
can get in the way of making your progress your ego wants to protect you above everything else
and resilience is the key to dealing with irrelevant criticism because it allows you to keep
going in the face of any negativity so managing your inner critic leads to a greater sense of
freedom so whatever you do learn how to just love yourself and you'll be your own best friend
if you're looking for some support and guidance to all the challenges being thrown at you at
the moment then do take a look at my 20-day overcoming obstacles and build mental strength
trainer program it's in the link below once you've downloaded the free book the link will then take
you to a little bit about my life story so if you're interested you'll be able to see how i
overcame some of my obstacles and my story to getting here today thank you so much again for
watching don't forget to like the video give me your comments in the comments box and don't
forget to share the video as well thank you so much again and i will see you next time
you