quick impression uh Lounge singer doing The Way We Were
hey memories that's it very nice Paul
you know what we're going to do next week sometime we're gonna have sheet
music printed up or at least papers with the words to Oh Canada on them and we're going to
distribute them throughout the audience so we're going to sing O Canada Paul do
that one my favorite little part there at the end where it's really rousing okay
we stand on God but fall you know the rest oh no no that's you yeah [Music]
here's how this is hockey night this is Sinatra how are you doing stand on God for the [Laughter]
we'll do it next week everybody in the audience we're going to sing O
Canada great song great nation and it'll be plenty
of fun for us what are we doing now we have a top 10 list do we do that first
we're now we're now inside your living rooms right
now aren't we both we're in we can't stay too long though
no we'll be here about an hour just about an hour and then we gotta go
unless there's trouble and we have to stick around and go to the basement do some editing
down down there in Dad's uh tool shop yeah here we are it's the top 10 list tonight's
category these are just little uh ice breakers a good way to start your day tomorrow morning when
you're around the breakfast table with your family and you bring this up as a conversation starter
always nice yeah tonight's category top 10 complaints of our studio audience
members by the way we get the best studio audiences of any television show in the world
except for that kind of crap yeah
yeah here we go the top 10 complaints of our studio audience members number 10.
Tom Brokaw bums cigarettes from people in line number nine thrill cam can be too exciting for
younger audience members number eight Wendell asks a lot of questions about Fabrics touches clothing
of audience members number seven Grant Tinker keeps leading audience in wave number six tiresome
re-taping of segments until everything is perfect number five NBC Pages don't sit like ladies
number four can hear Today's Show bickering through thin Studio walls
number three never do Karnak on the night we're here
number two body search unprofessional
and the number one complaint of our lovely studio audience members the
show seems less funny when you're Wide Awake [Applause] [Music] [Applause]
laughs [Music]
okay we got a great show tonight
uh we got a great show Father Sarducci is here actress Kristen Scott Thomas and
Marv Albert will be here but before we get to those fine folks it's time once
again to answer our voluminous viewer mail actual letters from actual viewers
and as always if they weren't actual letters who would I be able to do this
letter number one letter number one [Laughter]
Dear Dave my wife just brought me home a late night with David Letterman t-shirt she purchased
from someone she works with since she does not work for NBC but rather a major Chartered Bank is
it possible this isn't an official late night t-shirt but rather some pale imitation your
biggest fan Ian a McClatchy Ottawa Ontario uh good question Ian let me tell you what I know about
this if it's made of sheep thin almost transparent material and if all of the color runs the first
time you wash it then yes it's an official NBC late night t-shirt accept no substitutes
they're they're applauding the sound effects not the material
uh letter number two we're now seated in your living room
Paul's gone to the kitchen for snacks don't make a mess and there Paul okay Dear Dave all right
we're dangerously short on time we have a big show we got to keep going we've got to keep going Dear
Dave you seem to have a knack for getting your guests to talk about things in their personal
lives that really don't want to discuss that they don't want to discuss why don't you ever talk
about your personal life are you hiding something sincerely Valerie Meyer Lakewood Colorado
okay uh Valerie some personal information for you last night for dinner I had macaroni and cheese
are you happy now [Applause]
if Sam Kinison gets hit by a truck I get his act
[Music] what a night that was Dear Mr Letterman I am a fourth grade teacher at Pinecrest Elementary
School in Sylacauga Alabama and I am bringing a horde of fourth fifth and sixth graders to New
York next march we hope to tour NBC while there and would love to attend the taping of one of your
shows assuming of course that you are still on the air at the time Danny Culp and the Pinecrest
4-H Sylacauga Alabama well gee we'd certainly be happy to have those youngsters visit late night
however I think kids in that age group might prefer my other show Hal let's show the folks
a little bit of my other NBC television program okay take a look at it thank you
hi welcome back to the show we're talking with loopy duck loopy tell us about your brand new
cartoon right it's called soup and quackers I get chased around by a chef with a big Hatchet
wow that's great now I know you're really in a lot of demand these days why did you select
this particular project well I fell in love with the script uh that and the chance to work with a
terrific performer like crazy cow yeah she really is excited yeah you know my favorite part is the
finale that little thing you do with the with the Anvil you know what I'm talking about do
a little of that for us oh no no no no come on just a little bit oh okay okay all right
that's great Bluetooth duck ladies and gentlemen nice to
see you thanks for stopping by we'll be right back [Music] stop it no no
letter number four we gotta we gotta really pick it up here now don't we how are we doing
on time one minute here we go we got two letters we'll do it in one minute it'll
be fine dear Dave I wish this moment could last forever a fan and Jim nanovic Wayne New Jersey
yeah yeah Jim I know what you're talking about uh it's a common male problem all right now
number five here we go five big ones we haven't
been on the air 15 minutes yet and five big powerful pieces of Comedy
right in the living room can I get you anything from the kitchen yeah some some
cocoa would be nice and and maybe a plate of Saltines okay I'll see what I can do
hey Dave why don't you ever read letters from Louisiana do you have something against people
down south just wondering Kimberly Crump out in Louisiana you know as a matter of fact Kimberly
I did have kind of an unpleasant experience down there I was on vacation with our stage
manager Biff Henderson gee I remember it like it was yesterday it just seemed so
it's a great feeling isn't it Beth we got a terrific car the open road a couple of
hot dogs case of Yoo-hoo under our belts you said it Dave you can't beat it can you no way
I think we might have ourselves a bit of a problem here oh yeah this is great I can't believe this is
still going on here this is insane you're pulling us over because my friend here is black he is well
that's right but the real reason I'm pulling you over is this this severed head can you explain it
that's very easy we killed the gas station attendant a couple of Miles back I suppose you
got some kind of law against that as a matter of fact we do but seeing as how you're an Entertainer
and everything I guess I'll let it go this time oh really big favor thanks a lot jerk [Applause]
[Music]
yeah okay we gotta go all right we'll do a commercial
we'll be back here we'll spot our Guido saraducci