Having a baby usually comes with lots of well-meaning advice from our parents and other important people in our lives.
But we've now learned that some of these long-held beliefs aren't actually beneficial
and can lead to things like shorter naps, struggling to get a baby to fall asleep,
misdiagnosis, delayed development and more.
Take for example the idea that babies should nap in loud, bright places during the day.
The idea is that a baby will then get used to sleeping in that kind of environment
and that will make it really easy
to get them to sleep anywhere.
This is based on the belief that if you always sleep
your baby in a dark, quiet environment,
then that's what they'll get used to.
And they'll only ever be able to sleep
when it's perfectly dark and quiet.
This advice might sound logical,
but let's look at what we now understand
about how your baby's sleep works.
Babies sleep when they get tired
thanks to something called sleep pressure.
Think of sleep pressure as a sleepiness fuel tank.
The longer your baby stays awake, the more it fills up.
And when it's full to the brim,
your baby can't resist the call to sleep anymore.
It won't matter whether they're at a rock concert or in
a dark, quiet bedroom.
When they're tired enough, they'll simply succumb to sleep.
In other words, when sleep beckons, they'll respond no matter
where they are.
So they don't need to be trained to sleep in
loud, bright spaces.
their natural sleep drive takes care of that for you.
However, just because your baby can sleep
in a bright, noisy place,
it doesn't mean it's the best spot for a nap.
The ideal location for your little one's nap
is a cool, dark room that's free from sudden, loud noises.
Letting them sleep in this type of environment
will make it easier for your baby to fall asleep,
as well as increase the likelihood
that they will have a longer nap.
And here's why.
Your baby's daytime naps are primarily composed of REM sleep.
And REM sleep is a light sleep phase that can be easily disrupted by loud noises,
sudden movements or changes in temperature.
So if your baby is trying to have a nap in a bustling environment with a blaring TV,
ongoing conversations or sudden noises like clattering dishes,
it's quite likely that their nap will be cut short.
And this also means that the quality of their sleep is going to be poor.
Also, from around six weeks of age, babies become highly curious about their
surroundings and this constant urge to explore and learn can make it really hard
for them to settle into sleep, particularly if they're in a stimulating environment.
Between three to five months of age,
your baby's sleep pattern also matures and instead of cycling between two stages
of sleep, which was a quiet sleep and REM sleep, they will now start to cycle
through four distinct stages of sleep, awake, light, deep and REM sleep.
And each cycle typically lasts around 30 to 45 minutes.
And at the end of each, when they reach that awake phase,
your baby might stir, grumble or even let out a brief cry.
If this happens while they're in a quiet, dark room and they're still tired,
there's a pretty good chance that they'll just drift back to sleep,
as there's nothing interesting to draw their attention and wake them up completely.
Essentially, the dark room tells your baby it's time for sleep, not play.
So if you want your baby to have a peaceful, undisturbed nap,
a dark room free from sudden loud noises is the best option.
And remember, sleeping them in an environment like this whenever you can
doesn't mean that they won't be able to sleep in a loud,
bright environment when they need to. That sleep pressure will still build
to the point where they will fall asleep
in those environments when needed.
You are not going to train them to only sleep
when it's perfectly dark and quiet.
One way to gauge how much sleep pressure
your baby's accumulated to help figure out
when they're ready for sleep is by understanding
how long babies typically stay awake between their naps.
These are often referred to as wake windows
and they will vary depending on your baby's age.
I put together a free guide that shows you
how long to expect your baby to be awake for
between naps, how many naps to expect
and their total daily sleep requirements based on their age.
And you can grab that for free by clicking the link
down in the description below this video.
Another piece of advice that I often come across
is your baby is cold because their lips are quivering
or their hands and or feet are cold.
Although this sounds plausible, it's not entirely accurate.
You see in newborns are quivering lip
isn't a sign that they're cold.
It's a reflex that's triggered by a sudden noise,
movement or change in posture.
So if you see your little one's lip quivering,
it's a sign that their nervous system is still developing and
not a sign that they're cold.
It's also quite common for newborns to have cold hands and
feet, but instead of indicating that they're cold, this is simply
a sign of an immature circulation system.
Your newborn circulatory system is still developing.
And this means that even if your baby's body is
at the appropriate temperature, their hands and feet might be
cool to touch.
Therefore, touching your baby's hands or feet isn't a reliable way to determine if
they're cold or not. Instead of relying on these signs,
you should look for more reliable indicators of whether or not your baby's
too cold. For example, you can check their overall
body temperature with a thermometer, or you could gently place your fingers
inside your baby's clothing to touch their chest or their back.
Your baby's body should feel comfortably warm and dry,
not too hot and sweaty and definitely not too cold.
Let's move on to another piece of advice that I'm sure you've heard,
and that is your baby is crying because they have colic.
Now, colic is a term that we use to describe a healthy baby who cries more than usual.
It's not a medical diagnosis and it's
not fully understood why some babies cry more than others.
But here's the thing.
If we label all persistent crying as colic,
we might miss out on detecting underlying issues.
There could be a number of reasons why your baby is crying.
It might be due to feeding difficulties, an allergy or even a medical diagnosis.
So if your baby is crying excessively rather than jumping to the colic
conclusion, it would be best to talk to a pediatrician.
They can help you understand what's
causing the crying and how best to comfort your baby.
On the subject of crying, people often believe that all crying is
a sign of distress and needs immediate attention.
And I can see where this comes from.
No one likes to see their baby cry, but babies cry!
It's their primary mode of communication,
especially because their little brains are still growing and they can't express
their needs or discomfort in any other way.
Sometimes they might cry because they're
hungry, uncomfortable, tired, or they simply don't like something.
So it's crucial to remember that not all crying conveys the same message.
And believe it or not, not all crying requires an immediate response.
For instance, if you place your newborn on the floor from your arms,
they might cry due to the unfamiliar sensation.
However, if you just give them a few moments,
they may actually settle down and begin exploring their new environment.
In this situation, your baby isn't distressed.
They're simply telling you that they've experienced something new and different.
Or maybe your baby cries at bedtime.
This might not mean that they need anything in particular.
They might just be really tired and crying is their way of letting you know
that they're ready for sleep. Or your little one might cry out while they are
sleeping. In this situation, your baby is simply crying out because they're in REM
sleep, which is that movement filled sleep where babies typically call out and start
to squirm around in their sleep. They do not need you to come in and pick
them up at this point. In fact, doing so will actually wake your baby up.
Whereas if you were just to wait a few minutes, your baby would likely continue to sleep.
So while it's important to pay attention when your baby cries,
it's equally important to understand that each cry may convey a different message.
And your task is to figure out what each one means. To help you decode what your
baby is trying to tell you, it's helpful to understand newborn cues.
These are facial expressions and body movements that your baby uses to express that they're
hungry, tired, ready for play or needing a break. So make sure you watch this
video next where I'll step you through the facial and body movements newborns
typically use to communicate with you from their very first day. Once you know
what these cues are you'll be able to correctly respond to your newborns
communication attempts and this will build a stronger attachment between you
both. So make sure you check it out.