Why does your cat climb the curtains?
Why does your cat scratch at the couch?
Why is my cat trying to make me crazy?
If you are asking that question, this episode of Cat Mojo
is for you, people.
Are you set to take a deeper, deeper look at catification?
Let's go.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
OK.
So today, we're going to talk about solving problems,
but solving problems in a way that you might not
have thought before.
We have already talked about the 360 mojo, people--
the big mojo up there and your cat.
But this is the next step-- cat mojo
102-- being a cat journalist.
I just got a picture in my head of a cat with a fedora on,
and licking the pencil, and like, come on,
now-- give me an exclusive.
I really need this scoop.
I mean, my job is depending on it, Charlie.
That's not what we're dealing with.
We're dealing with you being a journalist-- writing
a journal-- writing a story like a journalist.
So to be a cat journalist, the first thing-- the biggest thing
in the picture, here, is a little dose-- just
a teeny little dose of objectivity.
If you are using language like, my cat hates me;
my cat hates my boyfriend.
If you make it about your relationship with your cat,
you're already too deep into this whole thing.
Get a little bit of objectivity about what's going on here.
But look at this story from the perspective of somebody
that you have empathy toward, right?
You can't cast your cat as a villain
and expect to get anywhere.
No behaviors are random.
If you're saying, my cat randomly attacks me-- no.
If we're not dealing with a bad tooth or a tumor
or a chemical imbalance, the rest of it
comes from here, within these four walls.
So to be a cat journalist, you have
to pretend you don't live in those four walls.
Say your cat did something randomly.
You have to take a look at that day, and really take it apart.
Anything out of the ordinary?
Anything energetically in the house
that may have just come to a head that day?
Let's do that with the what's, the wheres,
and the hows of your cat's couple of days,
couple of minutes, couple of hours,
from the moment that something went really bad in your house.
What threatened the territory?
Now, another point in cat journalism is patience.
Being a cat journalist is like being a cop on a stakeout.
You're going to sit there and you're
going to eat a lot of doughnuts and drink a lot of coffee
and watch a whole lot of nothing until something shows you
what you need.
So many of us would go to this place of first, defiance,
anger-- why are you doing this to me?
Now you put on your cat journalist fedora.
What's going on in your world?
Tell me all about it.
I'm all ears.
Now, of course you're going to go to the vet.
Of course.
That's part of journalism.
OK.
Well, clean bill of health.
Nothing going on.
No pain.
No discomfort.
What I want you guys to do-- homework, please.
Pow.
Tell me what is the most random thing your cat has ever done.
Write me something right down here,
or write it on Twitter or Facebook.
Just #TeamCatMojo and I will see it.
And make sure that you include how old they
were, what their names are-- the basics.
I want to see a whole bunch of these.
And then together-- I'm going to take a few of these.
We're going to go through some of the story lines,
and we are going to work this out.
I'm going to pick three-- count them-- three
of the most random cat things that
have ever happened in your home.
And I'm going to give away some serious prizes on this one.
Folks, the party is just starting.
If you go to Twitter, or Instagram, Facebook, Google+,
YouTube-- we are everywhere.
Team Cat Mojo in full effect.
All you get to do is #TeamCatMojo
and I will see what you're talking about,
and so will the rest of us.
And keep it coming, man.
Subscribe to this here channel.
Let me know what you want to see during Cat Mojo,
because that's how these episodes are born.
And don't forget, My Cat From Hell, season five premiering
just in what, a month or so?
We're going to have some fun.
All right, folks.
That's it for me.
Hey, listen.
Be good to each other.
Be good to the animals in your life.
And hey, be good to the animals that are not even in your life.
You'll feel good about it, and hey, that's
what Team Cat Mojo is all about.
Until next time, all light, all love, and all mojo to you.
THEME SONG: You're a bad cat.
I'm not a bad cat.
You're a bad cat.
I'm not a bad cat.
You're a bad cat.
I'm just misunderstood.
Meow.
[ANIMAL NOISES]