WELCOME BACK.
MY NEXT GUESTS ARE THE CREATORS AND STARS OF THE
CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED COMEDY CENTRAL SHOW "CORPORATE."
>> LISTEN TO THIS EMAIL AND TELL ME IF IT SOUNDS OKAY WITHOUT
EXCLAMATION POINTS: >> YOU JUST USED PERIODS?
>> YEAH.
>> SHOULD BE FINE.
>> I ATTACHED THE DOCS YOU ASKED FOR.
I SENT THEM LAST WEEK!
I GET THEY GOT LOST IN YOUR IN BOX!
ANYWAY, LET ME KNOW IF THERE'S ANYTHING ELSE YOU NEED HELP
WITH!
THANKS!
>> DID YOU GET MATT'S EMAIL?
>> THIS IS AN ATTACK.
( LAUGHTER )
INGEBRETSON AND JAKE WEISMAN!
>> Stephen: HELLO.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
( APPLAUSE )
>> THIS IS CRAZY.
I THINK WE ALL WORE THE EXACT SAME COLOR SUIT.
ALSO, WE MAWCH THESE CHAIRS EXACTLY.
THIS WAS A HUGE MISTAKE.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE JUST FLOATING HEADS RIGHT NOW.
>> YOUR PRODUCER SHOULD BE FIRED FOR ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN.
>> Stephen: HOW IS EVERYTHING OVER THERE AT COMEDY CENTRAL?
I HAVEN'T BEEN OVER THERE FOR A WHILE.
>> IT'S FINE.
>> Stephen: FANTASTIC.
WELL, THIS IS YOUR SECOND SEASON, RIGHT?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: SECOND SEASON OF "CORPORATE."
IT'S A-- IT CAN BE DARK, CERTAINLY DIFFERENT VIEW OF
CORPORATE CULTURE.
ARE YOU ANTICORPORATE?
>> NO!
LISTEN, WE'RE ANTICORPORATE ON THE SHOW BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THE
KIDS WANT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
AND THAT'S WHAT DEMOCRATIC SOCIALISTS WANT.
WE WANT WITH THE COOL KIDS.
BUT SECRETLY, WE LOVE CORPORATIONS.
>> WE LOVE CBS.
THANK YOU SO MUCH CBS.
>> WE LOVE VIACOM.
VIACOM PAYS FOR OUR SHOW.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> THEY TREAT PEOPLE TERRIBLY BUT THEY GET US PRODUCTS AND
TWO-DAY SHIPPING.
YOU CAN'T BEAT THAT.
>> AND EVENTUALLY THEY PAY FOR THE TV SHOWS, AND WHEN THE WORLD
ENDS-- WHICH WE ALL KNOW IS COME AGO WE'RE GOING TO BE IN
BURNINGERS AND WE'RE GOING TO NEED TV SHOWS TO WATCH SO WE'RE
THANKFUL.
>> Stephen: BUT YOU'RE FAMOUS NOW.
>> YEAH, WE'RE FAMOUS.
>> WE GET RECOGNIZED ALL THE TIME NOW THAT WE'RE IN SEASON
TWO.
PEOPLE COME UP TO US ALL THE TIME IN DIERNZ, AND SAY, "OH, MY
GOSH, THERE'S JONAH HILL EATING WITH TOM GREENE.
( LAUGHTER )
I TOTALLY GET IT.
HAS THAT GOTTEN YOU ANYTHING.
LIKE DISOWBTS?
>> NO, EVERYBODY JUST WANTS ME TO QUOTE, "FREDDIE GOT
FINGERED."
WHICH I'VE NEVER SEEN.
>> Stephen: WOW, THAT IS A DEEP CUT.
YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN "FREDDIE GOT FINGERED?"
>> NO.
>> Stephen: YOU LUCKY MAN.
>> IS IT GOOD?
>> Stephen: LUCKY MAN.
YOU HAVE TAKEN ANYTHING FROM YOUR REAL LIFE IT USE AS
MATERIAL?
LIKE, DID YOU GUYS EVER WORK IN A CORPORATE ENVIRONMENT, OTHER
THAN WORKING FOR A CORPORATION NOW.
>> DI.
>> Stephen: DID YOU EVER DO ADMIN WORK OR SOMETHING LIKE NA?
>> I GOT A BUSINESS DEGREE AND AN ENGLISH DEGREE.
>> Stephen: WHOA!
A BUSINESS DEGREE AND AN ENGLISH DEGREE.
>> TWO DEGREES, NOT TO BRAG.
>> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE GOING TO DO WITH YOUR
BUSINESS DEGREE?
>> BUSINESS?
THAT WAS MY PROBLEM IS I GOT THE BUSINESS DEGREE --
>> Stephen: QUITE A PLAN.
>> I WAS LIKE "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS."
SO I CAME OUT HERE.
I CAME OUT TO L.A. AND GOT JOBS, LIKE COPYRIGHTING AND DOING
MARKETING AND STUFF, AND IT FELT LIKE I WAS RUINING MY LIFE AND
WE BASED THE SHOW ON THAT.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE A CORPORATE BACKGROUND, JAKE?
>> NO, NOT AT ALL.
I'M MAKING UP EVERYTHING.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT AND YOU'RE THE FIRST
PERSON WHO HAS KIND OF EXPOSED ME.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> JAKE WORKED IN A CHANDELIER STORE FAIR YEAR.
>> I SOLD CHANDELIERS TO REALLY RICH PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T NEED THE
CHANDELIER S.
>> Stephen: I DON'T NEED A CHANDELIER.
SALE ME ONE-- HOW WOULD YOU SELL A CHANDELIER?
"I NEED A LIGHT FOR MY LIVING ROOM."
>> OH, SO YOU LIKE LIGHT?
( LAUGHTER )
DO YOU LIKE EXPENSIVE LIGHT?
>> Stephen: I LIKE NICE THINGS.
I LIKE NICE THINGS.
>> WELL, THEN YOU SHOULD BUY A CHANDELIER.
IT SEEMS OBVIOUS.
>> >> Stephen: THAT'S A SOFT
SELL.
WERE YOU A GOOD ASSESS MAN?
>> NO, I WAS ONE OF THE WORST SALESMEN OF ALL TIME.
I ACTUALLY, I GOT IN TROUBLE ALL THE TIME.
I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT SELLING CHANDELIERS.
YOU CAN'T GET AMPED UP TO SELL LIGHTS.
IF YOU EVER WALK INTO A CHANDELIER STORE, KNOW EVERYONE
THERE IS UNHAPPY.
>> Stephen: I SOLD IF YOU TONS WHEN I FIRST GOT OUT OF COLLEGE.
>> SELL ME A IF YOU TON.
>> Stephen: I CAN'T.
YOU KNOW THE GOOD THING ABOUT IF YOU TON-- WHAT KIND OF BED DO
YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW?
>> KING SIZE.
>> Stephen: KING SIDE WHAT, WHAT KIND?
COIL, WATER BED, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?
>> MEMORY FOAM MATTRESS.
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T WANT A MEMORY FOAM MATTRESS BECAUSE IT
WILL INFORM ON THE AUTHORITIES ON EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE ON
THAT BED.
IT'S GOT A MEMORY OF EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE!
>> SEE, I WANT THE AUTHORITIES TO KNOW WHAT I'VE DONE IN THAT
BED.
>> Stephen: OH, REALLY.
>> WHAT?
( LAUGHTER )
TO JUST BE SILENT WITH GUESTS.
I LIKE TO BE QUIET WITH GUESTS.
DO YOU GUYS WANT TO BE QUIET FOR A SECOND.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: LET'S JUST BE QUIET.
( LAUGHTER )
( LAUGHTER ) ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS )
>> THANK YOU, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: >> Stephen: THE SEASON FINALE OF
"CORPORATE" AIRS TUESDAY ON COMEDY CENTRAL.
MATT INGEBRETSON AND JAKE WEISMAN, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.