The area that I have trouble with is that I can so part of building it up, you go from
step one to ten is that you start by saying hi to people randomly.
Oh yeah.
You know, just be like hi, how are you, good morning, this and that.
And then you build it up to actually having conversations with people and maybe it's people
that you're not physically attracted to.
It could be old women, it could be random people.
So it looks like you have all the advice you need.
Well yeah, it's just.
That's great I would agree with that.
But the the area that I get stuck with is that jump into a woman that I'm attracted
with.
Taking the approach.
Yeah.
So like I could build it up boom boom boom, but then like it's something about just.
Why are you putting the woman above you?
That's like why do you think this woman is like, what's the word pedestalized.
You see a woman and you're like oh my God she's beautiful, she must be better than me.
That's what I get from it.
Well is that what you're saying?
No not necessarily because I. It's only when she's attractive that you get nervous though
right?
I just haven't done it.
So I feel naturally like...
It's just a lack of experience.
I mean I feel like it's with anything though like practice makes perfect.
I think you just have to throw yourself in you get denied oh wel try again.
But how do you like soften that up?
How do you kind of cater it in a way where it's a little bit easier to flip that switch?
The hotter the girl the less she is approached and like really understand that.
It's so true.
Like guys think the hottest girls get approached daily.
It's not true, it's the opposite.
Also what makes her so special because she's physically attractive?
I understand that's what you desire and sexually you desire that and you don't want to get
rejected because you want the opportunity with that kind of woman, but you have to look
at it in a way where you're not just looking at that one thing.
It's like she probably she absolutely has flaws like we all have some sort of flaws.
I would even maybe argue the more beautiful the woman potentially more flaws because she
hasn't had to ever maybe even build herself up because she always got away with being
pretty and got a lot of attention and there's all kinds of stats of women who are very attractive
who have been able to get further in life just because of their looks.
So there's no real logical reason something to think about to put that attractive woman
on the pedestal.
You should be going into it thinking what can I learn about her that's going to make
me think that she's awesome besides her looks?
Yeah, yeah.
And also it's just I like to make a smooth approach you know.
I mean you can go direct into it but I feel if you're more smooth about it and you're
able to just kind of point something about her and ask her that way and open up the conversation
it seems more natural and they're more inclined to actually have that conversation and it
may go somewhere.
I just I wouldn't do the number on the paper route.
I'm not a fan of that either.
Why?
It's gonna be a low conversion, I promise.
If he comes up to me and tries to start a conversation I'm gonna turn around.
If he hands me his number I'm gonna be like oh.
You're gonna rip it up.
No I'm not and I've literally gone out with men who have done that.
That makes no sense.
Why would you take the number and be like I'll call him versus he just opened up his
mouth.
Because now he's leaving it up to me and now he's leaving it up to me and like I'm with
my friends like just be effective, send me a shot or send me a shot across the bar.
If we're at the bar, we're at a restaurant send me a shot cheers take the shot with me
couple minutes later walk over and be like what are you doing Friday?
But he only.
It doesn't work.
I mean I've seen it work.
Literally it's worked on me.
Women are not attracted by the same thing.
You have to understand it's not the same thing.
Like if a woman were to do that to a man for sure that would work like almost 100% of the
time.
But a woman needs more than just a guy's looks.
They need to see his confidence they need to see his personality what he's like.
If he's not a very attractive guy and he's going up to a girl if he's 5'6 and he's bald
and he's got a distorted face.
Play in your league.
That's all I can say, play in your league.
Yeah cause would it work out eventually anyways if there's no attraction then it doesn't matter
if that pickup line worked or not.
It would just never work because you're.
He has more maybe but he has more of a shot if he at least goes over and shows like hey
I'm a cool dude.
No a lot of men should not open their mouths.
And you can say the same thing about women.
Then how do you get to know someone?
Because you're in a bar it's loud you can't hear I'm sweating I have people around me.
Like now is not the time for a conversation.
Drop the number.
Guys, don't listen to any of this.
So many men meet women at bars.
And also why are we only talking about bars?
Women don't really like being approached in like the gym right?
No.
The gym is definitely a tough place.
The club or bar is gonna be the best place because we're already.
Right absolutely and that's why I'm referring to that scenario.
Oh I thought you said don't approach her or something.
No don't try to like start like I had a guy come up to me the other day at a bar and he
was asking me about my relationship with my brother.
Weird.
I'm sorry and he was cute like he could have had a chance.
If you would have just shut your mouth and handed me your number and just walked away.
It's got to be the right approach.
Yes, the conversations in loud environments do not work that's all I'm saying.
It has to be the guy that you would think is attractive without talking to him.
Of course.
I do agree with that.
Attraction matters if it's a person that's not attracted to me when they come up to me
it doesn't matter what you do I'm not gonna be interested.
Right exactly.
You've never been on a date with a guy who you thought uh he's not really my type but
there's something about him I kind of like?
Yes I have.
Or you've always just liked guys who you find super physically attractive?
No I have like before when I was on dating apps I matched with someone I thought their
personality was really cool and then I ended up meeting them in person and I just something
clicked.
It just wasn't there like you can just feel when someone vibes with you and it wasn't
even just the looks.
It just didn't work out.
Okay so what are your thoughts on what Ellie is saying though?
Do you want a guy to just come up to you at a bar for example and give you a number and
run away like a little scared little boy?
Or do you want to have.
Nobody said that.
That's what it seems like.
I'm saying hand the number and be like I'll see you Friday.
She's saying like you're with your group of girlfriends.
You have to have swague like I'm sorry like I'm sorry like everyone's talking about different
men here because if.
I think it is.
I'm sorry.
Like let's say like I'm at a bar.
That's just not good advice for every single guy.
Nothing is going to work for every single guy.
No but there's odds there's odds.
Every man has different strengths play to your strengths.
That's all I will say play to your strengths and play in your league.
Ellie what is swag for you?
It's just an aura like it's how you carry yourself you walk in you know that you're
confident like you just you kind of like know that you're that guy even if you're not that
guy you fake it till you make it like you got that you got that swag about you like
you look good like you're not doing too much like you're not acting desperate you're not
giving off that bad energy like you're just out for a good time maybe you're with the
boys like you know like what's up.
But that's only gonna work for a very small percentage of men.
No.
Posture eye contact is a huge plus because most guys that approach us are looking at
us up and down or straight at our tits.
If you can look her in the eye you automatically are like 50% ahead of other guys.
Well sure and then open your mouth for like two seconds instead of just handing the number.
Noone said just walk up and be like.
Also who's got business cards anyway?
Who's got a paper and pen that they're carrying around?
The bartender.
I'm sorry like.
Do something original you don't know many times we get approached at bars.
Do something original my god.
The main issue that I have with that approach is that I don't have the girl's number you
know what I mean.
So if I give her my number I don't know if she's it's never happened to me where I've
given my number out and a girl has contacted me.
I would try because that's the best tell of if a woman really wants to go out with you.
If she's actually interested she'll reach out.
Believe it I would much rather have a man leave it up to me because I'm not giving my
number out.
As a man you have so many different opportunities to build attraction with a woman.
If you do it the way that they're saying then you're only going to be using one thing which
is your looks and if you're not a generally attractive guy or yeah if you're just like
an average guy even if you are an attractive guy that still will work less of the time
even if you do it in the swag way they're saying.
Well clearly what you're all doing is not working or you wouldn't be here.
Well it's gonna be at least a better opportunity than the one that you're suggesting.
This is how I would pick up a woman.
Isn't this for dating advice isn't this for men that need help?
Yes and you're telling them to go and give a card or a piece of paper.
That's not helpful.