*wapish* Top of the mornin' to ya laddies!
My name is JackSepticEye, and welcome back to "Quick, Draw", partner!
I'm reluctant to say that this is a game where I'm fighting against Google,
because I'm pretty sure we're on the same team in this "game".
So, I-I have to, I have to draw well.
And I'm not gonna draw poorly, just for the- draw a drill, okay, I can do this
I'm not gonna draw poorly just to dick over Google, because we're pals, we're bros!
I mean, if I could brofist Google, I would
But he helps me out a lot, he- anytime- anytime I'm looking for something,
Google's like: "Hey, it's over there!"
That's my way- That's my interpretation of personifying, uh, Google
Right, let's get into this
What the fuck am I saying? I dunno
Drill!
I can draw a drill, I got this
Oh yeah, we're starting already, what am I doing
Um, this is the battery [Computerized voice starts guessing: I see leg]
I- I can see how you'd see that, this is the top of- [Computerized voice: I see telephone]
No, you got it though, right? [CV: or gun]
[CV: or flashlight] Oh, shit, it does look like a gun
Um, fuck, uh- this is the vent on the back [CV: I see megaphone]
[CV: or chair] What am I supposed to do?!
[CV: Oh, I know, it's drill] Oh, thank god, it's the squiggly lines that did it!
Otherwise it just looks like a fucking hot glue gun, I didn't realize that
[Reading on-screen text:] "Draw yoga"?!
How am I supposed to draw an act of the human body?!
'Draw a downward dog!' Could I just draw the words "yoga"?
Um... okay, I have an idea
He's gonna say that he sees line first, and then he's gonna say that he sees fucking T.P.
Um, that's the yoga mat [CV: I see line]
Yup, of course- [CV: or ocean] there it is
Uh, this is the person's body
And this is- [CV: I see hat] This is their legs
[CV: or floor lamp]
No! This is-
[CV: or sleeping bag] It's yoga!
[CV: or drums]
How do you not see yoga out of this?! [CV: I see eraser]
Um- [CV: or helicopter]
Yoga mat
It's rolled up [CV: I see bracelet]
You don't fucking see shit! [CV: Sorry, I couldn't guess it]
Of course you didn't guess it 'cause you're useless, Google!
God, I didn't mean that, I didn't say that.. Google, please don't, uh, delete my se-search bar..
That was pretty good don't you think?
I mean it did look like a horse
Like, again, the Olympic horses that you get up on, it might not have looked like an actual clippity-clop
But, come onnn- right, megaphone!
I can do this one
Here's the handle [CV: I see leg]
Here's the back [CV: or lipstick]
No [CV: or gun]
It's a megaphone! [CV: Oh, I know, it's megaphone]
Ya-ha-hay, you got that one!
"Helicopter"?! I got this last time
I know how to do this [CV: I see circle]
[CV: or bread] I know how to do this!
[CV: or flip flops]
It's helictoper
[CV: or baseball]
[CV: Oh, I know, it's helicopter]
Yeah, there you fuckin' go, I was like "why the hell are you not getting this"
"Rain." Know it like the back of the inside of my eyes
'Cause I see it all the time
Every time I blink - rain, every time I open my eyes - oh, it's raining outside!
I wonder why? IRELAND, BABY!
I love it!
Not really..
Rain is very nice, though
It can be nice, I know I see it a lot of the time and I complain about it a lotta the time,
But when you're out and like sitting under an umbrella, and it's all rainy out
The wind is what makes it bad!
Rain + wind = nope!
Turn me into a flip flop and throw me into the ocean
But rain on its own and the little pitter-patters is nice
When you're in and sitting down with candles in your room and you're playing Bloodborne
And then you just hear the pitter-patter of the rain outside and you're like "oh, this is nice!"
But otherwise, yeah, suck my ass
Okay, rain
Rain
This is rain [CV: Oh, I know, it's rain]
Daaaaamn! I could've drawn the fuckin' Korean singer/actor/model
But no, I decided to go with the actual thing
"Draw a beach"?
Like 'a little beeaach'?
Like, little bitch.
Sand.
Sun. [CV: I see spoon]
Sun. [CV: Or diving board]
A palm tree [CV: Oh, I know, it's beach]
That's- That's my rendition of a palm tree
Looks like stuff on fire
Why didn't you get yoga?
What did everybody else draw for yoga?
"Could've been a helicopter" No it couldn't!
"Bracelet"? "Toothpaste"?
Why is he obsessed with toothpaste?!
What else did people draw for 'yoga'?
That's ballet!
That's just a stick man! How're you getting yoga out of these?
Fuck's sake..
Umm..
This one - yeah. This one - karate kick
This one - thaaat's a good one!
Upwards dog!
I- Oh- That's fuckin' sun salutation!
That's what that is
I love yoga
It- and people look at it and they're like "yoga's not good, yoga's not the best for exercise!"
Those people haven't done yoga
God, yoga's hard
Um, right, let- let's get stuff that I haven't got before, please
Um, picture frame
[CV: I see square] (Singing:) Look at this-
[CV: or suitcase] Uh, I'm gonna have to draw a fancy frame around it
[CV: I see map]
No, I know- [CV: Oh, I know] [Jack and CV in unison:] it's picture frame!
There you go, yes!
I should've drawn a picture of a bouncy baby boy's face on the inside!
But, never mind- underwear, watch this
[CV: I see line] Uh
[CV: Oh, I know, it's underwear]
Sure is, bro! What type of underwear though?
That's the thing
Now, here's a tricky one
Am I gonna actually have to draw a blackberry, or am I actually gonna have to draw a blackberry?
See, you didn't know the difference either
God, I'm gonna have to draw, uh, wiping spit off my screen
See, you have a blackberry as fruit or you have a Blackberry as a phone
So, I don't know
Um, I'll draw both
Uh, here's the phone [CV: I see square]
No, you see phone [CV: or door]
This is the keypad [CV: or computer]
[CV: or dresser]
Nope!
[CV: or calculator] And this is the actual blackberry
[CV: I see calendar]
[CV: or jail]
Uh, Blaack, heh, beeerry *chuckling* [CV: or microwave, or church... I see hospital]
[CV: or alarm clock] No, it's blackberry!
[CV: Sorry, I didn't guess it] Come on!
For fuck's sake! [CV: or toothbrush]
... is he still guessing? Toothbrush?! Toothpaste or toothbrush, you all about brushing your teeth there, Quicky D
No, um, right, a sandwich
Um, draw a sandwich like this [CV: I see matches]
Looks like a slice of cheesecake [CV: or zigzag]
The way it is now
[CV: or axe] Middle of sandwich
[CV: Oh, I know, it's sandwich]
Yeah, I was trying to draw like the fucking thing with the olive on the top of it
God I- Sometimes you're just not even giving me a chance!
We have 20 seconds, it's not a fucking race!
"Draw flip flops"
Okay, uh- [CV: I see peanut]
I thought you were gonna say 'penis" *laughs* [CV: Oh, I know, it's flip flops]
*chuckling* 'Cause it did look like a penis there for a second
"I see penis... No, I know, it's flip flops."
Don't you hate it when your penis looks like a flip flop?
That's how you know it's a bad penis *laughing*
(reading on-screen text:) "Draw a house plant"
Okay!
[CV: I see square]
[CV: or lipstick]
It's a houseplant
[CV: Oh, I know, it's house plant]
*laughing* I fucked up, I didn't know what I was gonna draw
I started drawing the stalk and then I was like "wait, what the fuck are the- the bushes gonna look like?"
What one didn't you get? The blackberry
Yes, it was a hospital
You got it, you cracked the code
Hospital it is!
Fuck's sake...
A jail! You're obsessed with jails
And toothbrushes and toothpaste!
Fuck's sake..
Umm...
Blackberry- You see, people drew the actual blackberry
This person was like me and drew the phone!
See, these could be grapes, these could be any sorts of berries
That's a good one
That's a black berry
That, or it's a cartoon bomb
I'll leave it up to you to decide
Right, play again
I have to do one where I get all of them
(reading on-screen text:) "Draw a sweater"
Over here, we'd call it a jumper
Um [CV: I see door]
[CV: or square]
[CV: or T-Shirt]
[CV: Oh, I know, it's sweater]
Oh man, so he- he guessed T-Shirt
I was- I was thinking ahead of- I was like "yeah, how is he gonna get this" 'cause it looks like a T-Shirt
Looks like a shirt, looks like a jumper, looks like a cardigan, looks like a bunch of things
But then he just starts guessing them, and once he cycles through them and doesn't get the one he wants
Then: "Oh, I know, it's sweater"
(reading on-screen text:) "Draw a pear"
Should I just draw my pear-shaped hips? [CV: I see leg]
[CV: Oh, I know, it's pear]
This is a good one, this is going- we're- we're fucking doing this now Quicky D
You and me, together
We can do this, we can work together
You do anything- *mumbling* Two brains better than one
I have half a brain, you are an AI, together we make something
"School bus"
Okay
(singing:) The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round [CV: I see line, or square, or truck]
(continues singing:) Wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round, all through the ffuck! [CV: or pickup truck, or firetruck]
[CV: I see ambulance]
[CV: or bus]
[CV: or van]
It's a bus, yes, but a very specific type of bus! [CV: or stereo]
Uh, there's a stop sign on the back
[CV: Sorry, I couldn't guess it]
You should be sorry.
I have half a mind to reach in there and pull you by the googles right now
Mother of god..
Are you missing your goggles, Google?
Fuckin' hell
"Draw a cello"
Tha-ha-ha, should I draw a bass and then turn it on its side and cello, you got yourself a bass
Fuck, I did that backwards *laughs*
That's not the joke
A cello
Um, yes
[CV: I see leg]
[CV: or golf club]
No, you see a cello [CV: or wine bottle]
It's a big one [CV: or shovel]
[CV: I see violin] That's- no!
[CV: or knife]
No, it has a fancy top on it [CV: I see guitar]
Fuck, I can't remember what a cello looks like [CV: or toilet]
Here we go [CV: Oh, I know, it's cello]
Celloooo, you got it correct!
Thank you, I started to have fucking heart palpitations there for a second
Okay, "yoga", we're back on yoga
What did that one person draw?
Okay, I got it
Woosh, and then woosh [CV: I see line]
[CV: or spoon]
[CV: or laptop ... Oh, I know, it's yoga]
YES!
We did it!
We got it together there, fast Richard
Haha, you- get it? Quicky D? Quick Dick? Fast Richard
Um, "telephone"
Okay, how are we gonna draw a telephone
Umm..
You go like this [CV: I see square]
You have numbers
[CV: I see suitcase]
No, you DON'T!
[CV: or map]
It's not a fucking map [CV: or dishwasher]
It's a map of the phone [CV: or remote control]
[CV: I see power outlet]
No, you see a phone!
[CV: or dresser]
What?!
[CV: Oh, I know, it's telephone]
Yeah, Jesus Christ
Come on, it's an old-timey telephone, I thought you woulda got that instantly
But nooooo!
Somebody had to be a big old dick!
A big old Richard
Right, we'll do one more
I feel like it, I got all of those correct this time
What else did people draw for a cello?
Yeah, correct match ce- oh yeeaah, the cello has the things on the side
Trying to think about it in my head and then- 'cause it's one of those things you're like
"Oh, I know what a fuckin' dog looks like!"
And then it's like "draw a dog"
Shit, what does a dog look like?!
And people are like "I know it like the back of my hand" but then they're like
"Hey, whose hand is this?" and you're like "Fuck..."
Is that my hand?
"Is that?!"
I- I want to do that test, I know Mythbusters did it
But I wanna do it myself to see if I would recognize the back of my own hand
I'd know the nails
Nobody else has butchered a finger like this
Um, right, play again!
"Draw a duck"
Sorry, I had to duck out of the way of the duck *laughs*
That's a terrible joke...
*coughs*
It's a Lima bean
[CV: or snorkel] No, it's a duck
[CV: or hockey stick] It's a duck!
[CV: or swan]
[CV: I'm stumped]
Ah, fuck!
It did look like a swan- [CV: Oh, I know, it's duck] Yeah!
If it's not a swan, but it looks like one of those animals, what else would it be!
A duck!
Get outta the way, duck out of the way! There's a swan coming!
"Draw a horse"
Right, I've drawn other things that have looked like horses before, my helicopter kinda looked like a horse before
So now I actually have to draw a horse
(quietly:) Hmm..
Right, I got this
I got this [CV: I see bracelet]
No you don't, shut up
[CV: or flying saucer]
No
[CV: or bird]
[CV: I see chair]
You see a horse! [CV: or drums]
It's a hoooorse!
[CV: Oh, I know, it's horse]
God! How was that a fucking drum?
Oh, wait, it did look like a cymbal
Oh god *laughs*
"Draw a hand" This is the one I did the last time, and I was like "Hands, easy, no problem!"
And then all the artists in the comments were like "Hands... HAAAAAANDS..."
'Cause hands are super hard to draw
I went easy in the fact that the basic shape of a hand is fuckin' easy
Watch this
Watch how fast he gets it [CV: I see fork]
[CV: Oh, I know, it's hand[ *chuckling*
It doesn't even look like a fucking hand!
"Draw a donut"
Watch this
This is gonna be the fastest one
[CV: Oh, I know, it's donut] *laughing*
It was!
Fucking 2 seconds in, that was awesome!
Okay, a house
Watch this
[CV: I see suitcase]
[CV: Oh, I know, it's house]
Three seconds!
"Draw a door", even faster!
[CV: Oh, I know, it's door] Yes, buddy!
Come on, it'd be faster if I could get the fucking dot in, but sometimes it doesn't let you draw super fast
Oh, yes! We got it
Oh, how good are people drawing hands?
A fucking bush or a cloud...
Those are some nice hands
Let's judge the best hand out of them all
That's a pretty good one
This just looks like, fucking..
These look like Simpsons
That looks like Bart's head
Umm..
That's a pretty good one
That one, that one, I choose those
And alsoooooo... my one!
What else did people draw for a horse?
I wanna see if people- Yeah, I can see how it would be drums
I wanna see how- how detailed people get
Damn..
Some of these are good- that's a good horse right there!
This one just says "neigh."
Neigh, I do not want any of it!
Anyway!
That does it for this- oh, wait
[CV: I see circle... or hockey puck]
I don't know what I was doing, it looks like an Ocarina..
Umm
Oh, what happened, oh, do you wanna quit? Oh, there we- I- nobody saw a thing...
That didn't happen *laughs*
Anyway!
That does it for this episode of "Quick, Draw!"
I don't know if I'm gonna do more of them, 'cause it seems like I'm repeating some of the patterns
I might do another one! I don't know, it's a really fun game to do
But,
if I keep getting the same things over and over again- I'm not getting any of these
I'm not getting a fuckin' spider
Basketball, bike
I'm not getting any of those things! I'm not getting tiny little earplug
I want them!
Even though it looks like a candy corn or a ring, or a bracelet
And now I can see why fuckin' Quick, Draw's getting them wrong sometimes
They're hard to do
I want a smelly finger, though
That's a finger that's been up a butt
That's why it's all orangey-brown
I got it
*snaps fingers*
I- I've stuck my finger in many an orifice, and had it come out smellier than before
I know what a smelly finger looks like *laughs*
Anyway!
Thank you guys so much for watching this episode, if you liked it, punch that like button in its face
LIKE A BOSS!
And,
High fives all around
*wapish*
But thank you guys, and I will see all you dudes...
IN THE NEXT VIDEOOO!
*outro music plays*
That was a good 'like a boss'
LIKE A BOSS!
Perfect.