- Tom, Carmen.
The new Star Wars trailer is out.
This is for The Last Jedi, this is episode eight?
- Is it?
It's a confusing one, is this the last one?
- This is the last trailer for The Last Jedi,
it's not the last one, they're never going to stop
making Star Wars movies.
- So it should be called The Neverending Jedi.
- [Snoke] When I found you,
I saw raw,
untamed power.
- This is the kind of things that makes sense
for a movie, but would make me really uncomfortable
if any of my teachers or mentors was like,
"When I found you
I saw raw..."
Uh, yeah, that's fine.
You said we had a lesson today?
We were going to learn lightsaber stuff?
- Boundaries, first of all.
Take a step or two back.
Also, what's um...
Sucrets maybe?
What's going on with that?
- I have a sore throat.
- When I found you as a boy, so spindly and raw!
(laughing)
- Alright, now you're taking it to a weird place.
That I'm super not comfortable with.
- I don't think I want to be on the Dark Side anymore.
- Why? Why?
- I mean I didn't know it was that dark.
- We have more Kylo Ren destroying stuff,
- Just throwing tantrums.
- beating the (beep) out of walls and wires and things.
- Well, it's apparently, as it was established
in the first film, a fight against walls
is the only fight he can actually win.
- Someone should really call him out
and be like, You know when Vader was mad
he like straight up choked guys and you're just like
throwing your helmet at the wall.
- He murdered his staff, it was a real problem.
- Like we were all scared
but like, a lot of us were like, "Dear me!"
You didn't want to die but that's a leader.
He's at least grappling with possibly blowing up
his mother.
Cuz we see Princess, General Leia on a ship and then...
- General Princess. - General Princess.
- Doctor General Princess.
- Captain Doctor General Princess.
- And we see him flying toward a ship
and she's looking at stuff
and then we go to his targeting system
and it's like, your mom here, on a map, kind of thing.
- Press this to explode?
- Shaking, staring at it.
Then we see Leia, who is force-sensitive,
give a look that seemed kinda like,
"You gotta do what you gotta do."
Like she seems very resigned there.
It's a strange editing cut for this trailer
Cuz it's like, I have to kill the past,
I have to blow up my mom.
And then we see mom looking scared
and then it cuts to the title card, This Christmas.
(laughing)
(dramatic orchestral music)
- Pausing at 1:33
That's the porg.
I'm excited about the porg.
- I love it so much!
- It's all I think about.
- Give me the porg!
- We've see porgs before, I don't know what it's function is
it's (makes trilling noise)
I love it so much.
- It's function is for everything and nothing.
- I really hope it's one of two things,
it's either in that one scene
and then Chewie immediately picks it up
and eats it like an apple
(laughing)
It's just like their natural prey from Kashyyyk.
- And like maybe they don't even, well done.
- It's settled then.
Yoda will take a battalion of clones
to reinforce the Wookiees on Kashyyyk.
- Go, I will.
Good relations with the Wookiees, I have.
- You were hoping it was one of two things.
One of them was an apple for Chewie.
- The other one is that it's throughout the entire movie
but the cast just treats them like they're spiders.
Like ew!
And smack them, throwin' it out the airlock.
Shootin' it.
- All of your options are that porgs die, a lot.
- I want them to do something unexpected with this movie.
- I want John Boyega to get home and be like,
"Morning, Porgs!"
And like 900 porgs cuddle him
and spin around his body and they lay on the floor together.
- A porg collector.
A porg dealer.
He runs a porg mill.
- I think the best way to describe the porg's face
in general, it was Bridgett's description
which was just trying so hard, it really was like
he saw Chewie scream and went, "me too!"
(Wookie trill)
(Porg screech)
- My 48 hour history of porg from this trailer is
a Google search thing in my top right corner
of my computer for searches that was "sexy porg."
That I am not allowing myself to forget or take down
that I did that.
I wanted to see if it happened yet.
And it didn't.
I went to a store to try to get pumpkins that are
porg shaped so I can make a porg pumpkin
and I immediately tried to buy a porg...
I know they aren't real.
I tried to buy whatever toy, robot version of porgs
they're going to start selling.
I am waiting for the market to catch up
to how serious I am about,
I want it to be the size of a porg.
I want it to have the density of a porg.
- You want the smooshy-ness.
- I don't want these plush porgs,
and these little like bobblehead porgs.
I'm gonna wait 'til you sons of bitches
come up with a real porg that like
marches and (trill).
And then I'll get it.
I'll get a thousand of them.
- I want a remote control porg that
can go pick up my mail and...
- If you try to buy them, they're like,
"We sorta, didn't think this was gonna take.
"So we just have (beep) b-rate versions of porgs."
As soon as you drew the eyes that big, you were like Ohhh.
- Oh (beep)
- Children are going to want this.
- Not just children.
- Children and 30-something year olds.
- We're done for today.
- Alright, I guess we can watch the rest of the trailer.
- None of it (beep) matters at this point.
- We are the spark that'll light the fire
That'll burn the First Order down.
- And we're getting the fight between
John Boyega and...
- Gwendolyn Christie.
- That's cool.
- The fight that should have happened in the first movie.
- I like the ice foxes a lot.
- That's true, porgs are getting a lot of play
but there's also these ice foxes.
- Which I guess is going to be this
movie's version of the Tauntauns.
Because we're just doing Empire right now.
- Porgs gonna split open the ice fox and hide inside.
- No.
- And then, it's like "Too warm!"
And it gets...
then the ice fox died for nothing.
- Oh god.
- Life was meaningless.
- You did say they're doing the Empire thing.
They're really broadcasting it.
- I'm seeing all the beats.
Like training planet, you see Rey going into like the inside
of a giant hollow tree much like Luke did.
Boyega and Oscar Isaac have been captured in some
space facility, possibly to lure Rey there.
Which is like Empire.
Then she gets there, she is clearly
in the end of the trailer,
she's fighting Snoke, it appears to be.
- Here's what seems pretty tedious to me about this movie
is that we're seeing that Luke doesn't want to train Rey,
we know he's going to.
There are a lot of things that'll
surprise me about this movie.
She's going to go to Luke, say I need someone to train me
because I don't have much plot to do, otherwise.
- Neither one of us do.
- I came to your stupid island, looking for answers
you gotta give them to me.
He says, "I don't do that no more.
I don't train girls" or whatever.
You just know --
- I don't train broads.
- Where's the part in Million Dollar Baby,
where he's like fine, I'll train you.
We know that he's going to train her.
- [Rey] I need help.
(dramatic orchestral music)
- I've seen this raw strength only once before.
It didn't scare me enough then.
It does now.
- I do love that she's, but the thing is
he's like "I've never seen any power like this before.
And it didn't scare me then.
But it scares me now."
You don't like that she's that good
like, don't be a dick.
You're like, you're too good at this!
I thought you were gonna be really bad at this
when I trained you.
- I am the special boy!
- I need someone on the internet to super cut,
or just mix up, him going,
"I've only seen this kind of power once before"
Smash cut (porg trills).
(laughing)
- I do want that.
- I've seen this raw strength only once before.
(porg trills)
- Final thoughts on The Last Jedi trailer?
Seems we're all pretty team porg here.
Tom?
You're relationship with them is conflicted
you want to see them die.
- I want to see something, that's just for me.
- Carmen, final thoughts on the trailer.
- I gotta see more porg.
I gotta see the porgs.
- Porg!
(operatic music)