[ Sizzling ] What you want for breakfast?
Pancakes, sausage, cheese, eggs, and grits.
You want grits, too?
A little. Just a little, but not a lot.
Okay.
[ Sizzling continues ]
I got school.
You -- that's what you need to do, though.
As soon as I get time for myself.
-Go back to school. -I'm goin' back.
'Cause I wanna open up me a little,
a little business, a little beauty bar.
Yeah. What happened to that?
Wasn't you lookin' into that?
Yeah, but I'm just tryna brand myself right now.
-Okay. -As far as YouTube
and create like a big followin'
so, when I do open up my thing, I have like good clientele.
Uh-huh.
But I really want you to go back.
-Yeah, Imma get up in there. -Yeah.
'Cause I been readin' my little books.
Yeah.
I've been reading my "Surpassing Certainty,"
little book by Janet Mock.
I like that she gives you like
an in-depth feeling about how it is to be trans
and how you're finding yourself
within like your early stages in life.
Back then, they were just, they were hiding then
and they wouldn't tell anybody their actual --
their actual gender identity and stuff like that.
[ Sizzling ]
Hmm...
During that time, I did feel kinda alone,
but I just, I feel like my family was always
based off of like tough love,
so I just always took what I had and ran with it.
And then I just like made the best out of it.
It was difficult because I felt like
I was losing a child, but I still was gaining.
I was -- I -- [laughing] This is
even difficult to even talk about right now.
I -- This is too much. This is gettin' --
Um, I mean, it was just -- it was difficult.
Like that's not what I wanted!
I was thoroughly embarrassed
um, because I wanted a son.
That's what I wanted.
[ Sizzling ]
I'm just glad that you was born with my strength,
you know, 'cause I couldn't be there.
I really couldn't.
I couldn't.
It probably was really scary,
especially having these feelings that you --
that -- other people view as unnatural,
but it feels natural to yourself.
Lotta people commit suicide behind that.
That's why I'm glad you had the strength to not do that.
I just, I would just say, I understand
that you were expecting me to play a certain role,
like I was born a specific gender, but,
that's not how I felt inside.
But I'm just happy that we're both here today
and we're able to move past it and those is just --
those are the things that I really care about most.
Because some people don't have they families.
-Yeah. -Some people just stand --
just can't get over like certain things.
Well, you know, it's true, because we never
talked about it 'til just now.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah.
[ Laughter continues ]
I wanted to, but I couldn't; I couldn't do it!
Because I felt like, since the love was there,
that, um, words didn't have to be spoken.
But they do.
They do.
You need to at least know
-Hmm. -that Mommy love you.
-I love you too, Mom. -You know that.
-[Laughing] -Mommy love you.
You know that. You know I love you.
I just -- I loved you so much that I didn't want --
I didn't want certain things for you.
To like actually be teaching here, a vogue class,
from where I'm from, is super nerve-wracking.
♪♪
I'm at a studio downtown in Manhattan
and I'm gonna be teaching a vogue class
to some contemporary dancers.
I'm like superexcited. I see the girls.
They brought they heels and everything.
They is ready to get into it!
♪♪
It's kinda overwhelming a bit.
Where I started from, I never woulda thought
that I would be here today.
You know what I mean?
[singsong] Hi, young professionals!
All: Hi!
We have a very special guest.
He is a reflection of what you can be,
if you continue to work hard and push yourselves, okay?
-Hello, everyone. -Hi!
I'm so happy you guys are here.
Well, my name is Alex.
I'm from the ballroom house of Miyake-Mugler.
And I'm here today to teach you guys vogue.
Some things about me: I've like traveled the world.
I've choreographed for people like Rihanna, FKA Twigs.
So, um, yeah, let's go have some fun.
-Whoo! -[Chuckling]
Now we're gonna get into one
of the first elements of vogue, which is catwalk.
Catwalk is how you grace the room with your presence, okay?
It's very "Oh, yes, I'm in the building.
Do you guys see me?
Oh, yes, catch the shoes.
Do you guys see me?
Catch everything!
Do you just see me?"
Hip, hip.
One thing that really made me fall in love
with the vogue dance is that it helped me build my confidence
because like in high school, I was so shy.
Had glasses. I had braces.
Exude that confidence, that inner art ego.
You know, like how Beyoncé has like Sasha Fierce?
This is the time you bring out your Sasha Fierce.
Because you guys are queens, right?
Right? -Yes!
Imma need y'all to like really give it to -- Are y'all?
-Yes! -Are y'all young queens?
Okay, so I need you guys to feel that
and exude that with every step, okay?
So just spreading out a little bit, let's just try that.
I need confidence. I need chests up,
shoulders back, like, "Yes."
One, two, three.
Wave to the haters.
One, two, three, four. And one.
Have you ever felt like not at your peak anymore?
You feel like you fell
-Oo-ooh -from your peak and how do you
-Really? [chuckling] -like recover from that?
[ Laughing ] -That is a very good question.
It's funny that this girl had mentioned it in class.
It's like being at my peak and at my prime
because, now, they would consider me like
a veteran in the game, like to be a legend.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
Now you are uphold to this certain standard.
Yeah, that kinda like, I don't know,
messed with my mental a little bit
and made me kinda like doubt myself.
One, two
I feel like I'm my worst critic.
Like I don't even like to watch clips of myself
or watch like myself on film
'cause I will like literally tear myself apart
and come outside like a robot the next day.
Thank you guys, so much.
[ Applause ]
Thank you guys, so much. You're amazing.
You guys are like so advanced, it had me a little bit nervous.
I was like, "Oh, my god, these girls gonna be twirling down."
Nigel: Alex, do you wanna -- do you wanna do
a little improv?
[ Cheering and applause ]
♪♪
[ Cheering ]
♪♪
I was thinking a lot about just truly believing
in yourself, like really, really believing in yourself.
Understanding that you can do this
and that you're capable of doing it.
I feel like, when you tap into that energy, it's like
there's no amount of places that you can't go.
♪♪
The youthful energy that's in the room,
it like takes me back to like where I started from.
Ultimately, it's helping me kinda like
tap into why I do this.
Why I get up every day and go work a normal job
and then go to a ball until like 2:00 in the morning.
♪♪
But you were hungry for this
because you wanted to share; you wanted to shine
and you wanted to just ultimately be.
♪♪
I just feel like it's me against the world.
I finally, you know,
had this little confrontation with my motha.
When I was introduced to like
the transitioning process, I was like,
"Oh, you could really do this?"
I hope that my anger make everything change.
When did you -- When did you feel different, though?
I feel like I always felt different.
I just didn't know what it was.
-Ohhh. -So when --
when I was introduced to like the transitioning process,
I was like, "Oh, you could really do this?
Ooh!"
So, then, it was just like fascinating to me,
so then that's when I used to like,
you know, I used to take the hormones on the low-low.
'Cause I remember, one time, I was walking around the house
and you was like, "What's going on with you chest?!"
[ Laughing ]
And I was like, "Ooh, it's workin'.
-Ooh, they workin'. -[laughing] Ooh, they workin'.
I'm still mad.
[ Laughter ]
'Cause I remember, the thing about it was,
I [patting island] swore it early,
that my child was effeminate.
I did!
But I said, "Well, maybe she's just like
pickin' up the things that I do in the house,
'cause there's no male figure here."
Like when she get out the shower,
she had a towel wrapped. I said, "Unh-unh!
You don't wrap the towel 'round here.
[laughing] Men wrap they towel around --"
[ Laughter ]
And I was like, and I didn't --
I just was like, "I hope that my anger changes,
make everything change."
[ Laughter ]
But what life is that to live,
to try to be something else to satisfy me
when you have to live your life for you?
You would be miserable.
I remember when you came home with you nails done.
Oh, no!
[laughing] That was the first time I walked a ball.
I had Juicy Couture on my nails.
You -- She was takin' my stuff!
[ Laughter ]
Had a little bra. She tied it on tight
in the back. I don't know what kind --
I said, "Oh, my god. This child."
Yeah, so. -[Laughing]
She got a little style and flair from me.
[ Continues laughing ]
I do see who she is now,
but I still see -- I see me.
I still see, you know,
I still see what I've always seen.
But I see her as how she is now.
Yeah! She pretty, too.
-Chloe! -Beautiful!
[ Laughter ]
-Chloe. -You know, so, I mean,
that's what I see
and that's what I have to accept.
♪♪
Precious: Being who you are, you're always chipper.
I never see you down or like angry.
I always see you chipper and I love that about you.
I be trying, baby, 'cause you know,
I have my bad days, too, where, you know,
I just feel like it's me against the world, but, I finally,
you know, had this little confrontation with my motha.
-How did that go? -About the whole situation
and how she really feels about, you know,
'cause we never actually like really touched -- touched it.
Like it was just always like a, you know, brushed-off thing,
like everything's like regular, but it went really good.
You know, she expressed her concerns
and her worries and everything, so.
-About your transition? -Yeah.
Wow! That must've been a big convo.
-It was. -Was it hard to bring it up?
-It is; it is.
At that time, way back when, it was just really hard for her,
because, you know, I was her only, you know, eldest.
I just feel like, you know, everything happens for a reason.
-Mm. And I'm just blessed to have her
back in my life. -Oh, my god, that seems like
it was so deep. -Yeah, it was a really --
I was about to cry and everything, girl.
I was holding it in.
You shoulda let it out. That's what --
Sometimes you gotta just let it out.
[ Tranquil tune plays ]
♪♪
Growing up and being very different,
I always kind of felt like an outcast.
As a LGBT person, movin' in ballroom
and moving through life, you know what I'm saying?
It's always comfortin' to have people around you
that go through similar experiences.
And it just makes you more of that bitch,
when you have a supportive team.
♪♪
Jelani: Ballroom scene wouldn't be this big
without all the people in the whole LGBT community.
It's this one thing that brings us together.
It allows us to be politically strong.
It allows us to just do so many things
and break so many expectations and barriers.
♪♪
Tati: I didn't have anybody. They taught me
what family really was.
The way that we move and we navigate through this world,
it's just like we have to be one
because, if we're not for each other,
then we don't have anybody.
Miss Thing, your girls is your girls.
-Your girls is your girls. -Like you need your --
you need your girls.
When you out here, motherfuckin' walking these walls,
who you with? Your girls.
When you out here, goin' to these job interviews,
who you with? -Both: Your girls.
Tati: When you out these countries, who you with?
Both: Your girls.
♪♪
Precious: So like this right here,
it's gonna show people that,
just because we're gay, we're not negative.
Just because we're gay, we're not loud, disruptive.
Why is LGBT a rainbow?
Because the world is a dark place
and we're here to brighten it up.
We gonna do it one vogue at a time.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪