Welcome back to New Day Northwest.
If you've been stuck in
a bit of a rut lately,
our next guest may be a big help.
Jenna Kutcher is a creator and host
for the top rated Gold Digger podcast.
Now she's out with a new book
called How Are You really?
And it helps us redefine success
so we can chase some bold dreams.
How are you you really? How are you?
I should have known amity when I
titled my book that that I would
get asked and the subtitle is living
your truth when answer at a time.
And so I have committed to
always answering truthfully.
And the only way I can describe
this season of life is being
stretched thin as a mom.
As an entrepreneur.
As an author but only stretched
thin because I love all of
the parts that I'm doing.
I have to say I loved
reading your books so far.
In the very first part,
the softer how are you?
How do you feel your feelings?
You say we're asleep too
much of our lives and I,
I think that that is true in that sense.
So we want to live a happier,
more fulfilling life.
How do we do that?
Yeah, you know, I think a lot about
how we are busier now more than ever,
and I feel like a lot of us.
If we're really honest,
we wake up in the middle of
the night and we think man,
I'm doing so many things,
but I feel like I'm just missing the point,
right? Like all of these things,
it's like what am I doing this for?
Or I thought that life?
Feel different or I thought
it'd be further by now or I
don't even know who I really am,
and I think it's really interesting
because as a culture it's like no
surprise that we don't hear our
own voice when we wake up in the
morning and we start scrolling
on our phones and we're being
shouted at from advertisements.
And all these things.
It's like very easy for us to forget about
our own intuition and our own truth.
And like what we know to be
true for us and who we are.
This, this one line,
actually made me feel quite seen.
In moments of quiet we feel discontent,
exhausted, frazzled, or even trapped.
Something's missing and we just
can't put our finger on it.
So how do we start?
I know that your book focuses on
three questions to jumpstart this
focus and interior look at ourselves.
What is the first one?
I mean, honestly,
it's as simple as the title says.
It's getting honest and quiet
enough to ask ourselves.
How am I really,
and I think it's really easy
for us to avoid that question
specifically as ambitious.
People because we know if we're
actually honest and we say I'm
not where I thought I would be or
I'm not happy and I'm faking it,
that means we have to do something about it.
But I don't know about you but
like actually doing something
makes the doing way less scary,
less intimidating,
and it actually builds up our belief
in our confidence in ourselves.
Along the journey.
I agree. I agree.
I feel like I go in these peaks and
valleys because I feel like if I'm
actively working towards something
then it helps with the depression of
the sadness or the feeling exhausted or not.
Like I'm there enough.
So I see that, but I can go and wave.
Sometimes so I like the next question.
What is that next question you tell me?
Yeah, I would say that it's as simple
as when is the last time you felt joy.
I think a lot of us,
like you mentioned earlier,
are kind of on this autopilot, right?
Like we're doing doing doing and
we don't even pause and think
of like when is the last time I
laughed with my partner or when is
the last time I felt fully alive?
Or what would my 9 year old self be?
Sad to know that I no longer do in my life.
A lot of it comes down to like
we want to enjoy our lives.
That so many of us are pushing
the finish line of when we believe
we should actually feel that joy,
and so we're moving through life in
this way of like delayed gratification
where we're delaying it to a point where
we're not even enjoying the process.
So what are we going to do about it?
Yes, this is part three of my book.
What are you going to do about it?
And something that I think is really
important in today's culture is that we
are so obsessed with like before and afters,
we want to see these massive
transformations we double tap on things
when we see them on social media.
But I think that what we've
lost in that is really.
Living through and being awake to
the messy middle in that progress
that maybe isn't seen by others,
but that is felt by ourselves,
and I think oftentimes we are such
a black and white culture that we
miss these areas of Gray where we
know we're building up our confidence
in ourselves to actually follow
through on something for once.
And that's where I think the magic
lives is in that shade of Gray where
we're actually working towards the
life that we want for ourselves.
I think that sometimes with the
way we've experienced this.
Pandemic, a lot of people are lonely.
Sometimes they're lonely, living alone.
Sometimes they're lonely
in a house full of people.
I think loneliness looks
different for everyone,
and some people are really struggling.
So how do you combat that loneliness?
Loneliness isn't just being an isolation.
Loneliness is being surrounded
and not fully known.
And I think the pandemic kind of
blew the cap off of this idea of like
we need to be different iterations,
different identities of
ourselves in different places.
It's like suddenly you are wearing
all the hats under one roof.
If you're fortunate enough to
be able to work from home.
So we kind of had to figure
out ways to blend all of the
different aspects of who we are,
and so there's a part in the book where
it says like in order to be fully known,
you have to fully know yourself.
And I think that we really
have to start with ourselves.
There's so many opinions in the self
help and personal development space,
but what I think we've lost and what
I think makes my book different is
that it helps you get to who the
person is and where you are at so that
you can finally get to where you want to go.