When a news story falls through the cracks,
Lewis Black catches it with a segment we call
"Back in Black."
-♪ ♪ -(cheering, applause)
Well, it's summer, which always reminds me
of my childhood at camp.
Canoeing, roasting marshmallows,
learning how to masturbate.
-(laughter) -Or as we called it at camp,
"beating the tom-tom."
It's all about the beat.
Nearly every adult who went to camp remembers it fondly.
But, like jerking off, some people just can't let go.
Summer camp-- it is not just for kids anymore,
because more and more places,
they're offering camps for adults.
NEWSWOMAN: All the fun things that you would do as a kid,
like swimming, archery, zip-lining,
a ropes course, even a talent show.
MAN: We have arts and crafts.
NEWSWOMAN: There are also other camps there, too,
like space camp-- you get to go
on an interactive space mission,
build rockets, and train like astronauts.
What the hell is wrong with these people!
In my day, when you had a midlife crisis,
you bought a red Corvette and cheated on your wife.
Now it's sharing bunk beds and making lanyards! Huh?
Stop reinventing the wheel!
And don't get me started on space camp.
Kids go to space camp
because there's still hope they'll go to actual space.
When you're a grown-up, that spaceship has sailed.
It would be like trying to seduce Roy Moore
when you're 47.
You're 40 years too late!
(laughter, groaning)
Oh, what, did you vote for him?!
(laughter)
But there's another reason adults are going back to camp,
and it ain't archery.
WOMAN: "Play like a kid and party like a grown-up"
is the motto at Camp No Counselors,
an all-inclusive weekend-long sleepaway camp for grown-ups.
(excited shouts)
The all-inclusive package includes lodging, food,
an open bar, nightly parties,
and tons of old-school camp activities,
like wheelbarrow races and Human Hungry Hungry Hippo.
(laughter, groaning)
Oh, yeah.
Who doesn't love getting wasted
and then getting tossed like a salad?
Seriously, if I want to puke in a ball pit,
I'll go to McDonald's, like a normal person!
Look, it's one thing for these 40-year-old toddlers
to ruin camp,
but I refuse to stand by and watch them ruin booze.
In these terrible times, it's all we have left.
And besides, if all the adults
are at camp pretending to be kids,
who's gonna do all the adult stuff?
Kids' summer camps are putting away the canoes and the kayaks
and instead, in some cases, teaching kids
how to manage money.
NEWSWOMEN: Attractive options for families
who want their children to learn
about budgets and business.
Here, kids from seven to 16 learn to crunch numbers
for a product they'll later design, manufacture and market.
Oh, great. Just what this country needs:
even younger Wall Street douchebags!
(laughter)
I can't wait to get my house repossessed
by a banker who still wears a onesie.
Though, I get why these kids are being sent to learn about money.
Someone's got to pay for their parents to play
Drunken Cornhole.
Look, it's clear what's happening here.
These camps trick kids into doing work,
while the old folks have fun in the sun.
It's wrong!
It's despicable!
-And I want in. -(laughter)
-(blows whistle) -Hey, kids!
Why waste your summer groping each other in the woods,
when you can learn a trade?
Here at Camp Wor-ker-Bee, you'll learn all sorts of skills,
like mowing my lawn,
doing my taxes,
getting things that I point at.
And, as an elderly person,
my clothes are old and frayed.
So you'll also be doing some light sewing.
About 200 shirts an hour.
J.Crew needs these tomorrow!
Don't spend the summer just sitting on your ass.
Spend it wiping my ass!
(cheering, applause)
(laughs): Trevor.
Lewis Black, everyone! We'll be right back.
(cheering, applause)