Hey there, this is Clay, and today I want to talk about the difference between hearing
something and the difference between really getting it and really letting it sink in to
you so that you can actually like really get it so it can click and that you can have that
big shift that could change everything.
And this is really coming from, from some experiences that, that and I have had with,
with some of y'all were where we'll talk about some of our, mindset things that to work on
during active no contact.
One, one of the principles that we talk about is, is called acceptance.
And you know, sometimes we'll get a message that says something like, yeah, I totally
get the that, you know, I should be emotionally okay with whatever happens, but, but how do
I make her feel this way about me?
And the, the keyword there is, but because when you use the word, but what it does is
it completely negates the previous thing that you've said.
And when you use that, when you say that, when it says, you know, I get that you need
me to do this in order to get this result, but I want this to happen.
What you're basically saying is, yeah, I, I don't get anything that you just said.
I want this to happen.
I want, I want you to tell me how to make her want me or something like that.
And, and what that tells me is that you've heard a lot, you've heard what we said, but
it hasn't sunk in.
It's a very shallow, very shallow understanding of, of what we talk about, of what we're advising
you to do.
And in order to have the results that you really want, you need to have that deeper
understanding of it.
You need to really, understand it in a much deeper level.
You have to practice it.
You know, what's the difference between understanding something theoretically and practicing that
thing?
It's the difference between, you know, knowing in theory how to, you know, build a table
as a carpenter or something like that versus actually getting some lumber or getting some
wood and cutting it up on a table saw and hammering the nails and, and, and all that
stuff.
It's the difference between actually doing it and just theoretically, understanding it
as a, as a, as a, as a mental concept out there.
and you know, you, you have to be able to look deeper.
You can't just, you can't just listen to things and theoretically understand them and expect
anything to change.
That's just like gathering information.
That's just hoarding information, that you, that you really aren't going to use and that,
that's, that's what I hear when I hear people say, you know, I understand you tell me to
do blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but how do I do this?
That like, like seriously that the, the concept of acceptance tells you how to have a better
connection with them and tells you how to, be emotionally okay with whatever they do,
how to create that space that welcomes them into your life so that you can have that shot
of rebuilding that relationship of recreating the connection to the two of you had.
And when you say, I understand that, but how do I do it?
You know, we give you how to do it.
We tell you how to do it.
We give you exercises on how to do it.
What I recommend is that you actually go out and do those exercises that you do them.
You don't just say, okay, yeah, I get this on a theoretical level.
You know, it makes sense intellectually to me.
Therefore I don't have to do the exercises, therefore I'm ready for the next thing.
No, you're not ready for the next thing we need to do is actually get out there and do
the exercises.
You need to actually sit down and build the table.
It's not enough to read a book on how to build a table and be like, okay, I know everything
there is to know about building tables.
You have to sit there and understand how the pieces of would fit together.
There's an entire art form to joinery the different, ways that the different pieces
of wood can fit together.
There are ways that you can, that you can make it so that there's like absolutely no
apparent seem that it's such a smooth joint that, that the two pieces of wood fit so seamlessly
together that that if you just close your eyes and run your fingers on, you can't even
tell they're two separate pieces of wood and you cannot learn how to do that by just reading
a book.
You have to actually sit down and do it.
You have to practice it.
You have to practice it every single day.
You know, there's a certain saying in a, in Buddhism, I, I'm not gonna be able to say
this verbatim, but it's like before enlightenment chop wood, carry water after enlightenment,
Chop Wood, carry water, and it says that that your life isn't going to, to really be this,
this miraculous transformation.
You know, and what enlightenment is just going to recreate the context of how you live your
life.
You're still going to have to actually practice the same things that you do.
Still going to have to practice your own life.
It's not like enlightenment is this is this sort of conceptual holy grail and suddenly
you're going to evolve onto this other plane of being where, you know, you can drink Ambrosia
and, and all that, whatever.
I don't know it, you're still going to live in the same world and in a lot of ways it's
still the same way with what we teach.
You know, you're still gonna be in the same situation that you're in now.
It's just your, your concept of it is going to be different because of the practices that
we give you.
And you can't just understand that on a theoretical level, you have to actually live it.
You have to actually be out there chopping wood and carry water carrying water.
And you have to really be the change.
Like I said in I think it was the previous video from yesterday, You have to just go
out there and really demonstrate what that you have changed, that you are a different
person through your deeds and actions.
You have to do that.
You have to sit in there and do the exercise.
You have to build the table.
You can't just understand it on a theoretical, conceptual level.
That's what it tells me when you say, but that's when it tells me when I tell you how
to do something and you say, yeah, I get that.
But so what I really want you to do is to go out there and practice, practice the exercises,
put in the time and do it.
Chop Wood and carry water.
And before you know it, you'll start to see those changes in yourself and how you experienced
the world and how you relate to other people.
And suddenly it'll change the context of everything and you can, you can keep doing those practices
and you should keep doing those practices because they'll, they'll make you a better
person to interact with, to relate to in the terms of acceptance.
You know, also with other, the other mindset pillars as well.
But here I'm just talking specifically about acceptance because that's kind of our, example
case study thing for this.
But, but just go ahead and keep doing that and it will start to make you into a more
emotionally available person where you don't have to be like, okay, yeah man, what are
the secret hacks to force someone against their will into falling in love with me?
I mean, you don't need to know that if you, if you have acceptance nailed down solid,
you're just kind of that natural person that wherever you go, people just like you and
you don't even have to try.
You don't even have to try.
It's just part of who you are.
It's just part is just built into your, your aura, your personality, your energy level.
It's not.
You're like, all right man, now I'm going to do the secret October man sequence and
it's going to melt your panties off in 10 seconds.
Watch this.
Here we go.
Abracadabra.
It's not, it's not like that.
It's not something you have to consciously go out of your way to do.
You have to practice everyday becoming the kind of person that you want to be so that
you can just step into that and be that person all the time.
It's not like you have to be on or off.
It's not like you have to, you know, get ready to do the secret dark arts of seduction or
anything like that.
It's just, it's just part of who you are.
You can be a naturally loving person, can be a naturally seductive person.
You can be a naturally charming person.
You can be a naturally attractive person as long as you practice those things on a daily
basis.
And what I would suggest doing in your situation is start by practicing the exercises that
we laid out inside of our program.
That's a great place to start.
And then from there, you can build onto that, with whatever kind of personality you want
to reinvent yourself as.
So I hope this makes sense, and if you want to get started on this, if you want to get
started, really building the table, not just reading books about it, head on over to relationshipinnergame.com
and sign up there.
Thanks.