♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK.
JOINING ME NOW ARE TWO OF TV'S FINEST.
YOU KNOW THEM FROM "ANDERSON COOPER 360" AND "WATCH WHAT
HAPPENS LIVE."
THIS YEAR, THEY'RE RETURNING AS CO-HOSTS OF CNN'S LIVE NEW
YEAR'S EVE COVERAGE.
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW," ANDERSON COOPER AND ANDY
COHEN!
GENTLEMEN, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
>> HEY, STEPHEN COLBERT!
>> Stephen: NOW, OBVIOUSLY, WE'VE GOT TO TALK ABOUT THIS NEW
YEAR'S EVE SPECIAL, HOW YOU POSSIBLY USHER IN A NEW YEAR AND
SAY GOOD-BYE TO A YEAR LIKE THIS.
BUT BEFORE WE DO, THERE'S OBVIOUSLY BIG NEWS RIGHT NOW-- A
SHIFT IN OUR COUNTRY'S LEADERSHIP.
BECAUSE LAST YEAR, LAST YEAR, ANDY -- THERE YOU GO-- YOUR SON,
BENJAMIN, WON "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE'S "CUTEST BABY ALIVE,"
OKAY.
NO CONTROVERSY THERE, OBVIOUSLY.
FAN FAVORITE.
BUT THIS YEAR... WYATT COOPER TAKES THE TOP PRIZE.
NOW, WHAT I EED TO KNOW, NOT ONLY FOR MYSELF BUT FOR THE
AMERICAN PEOPLE, IS THAT WILL THERE BE A PEACEFUL TRANSITION
OF POWER?
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE WERE OFFERED TO-- BEN, OF COURSE, IS THE CUTEST BABY
ALIVE.
WE GOT THE OFFER FROM "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE, AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD
BE VERY SELFISH, ESPECIALLY IN A YEAR OF TURMOIL FOR US, TO TAKE
THAT AWARD.
SO WE SAID, LET'S GIVE IT TO WYATT COOPER THIS YEAR.
BECAUSE HASN'T ANDERSON BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH, QUITE FRANKLY?
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> YOU GAVE A HARD PASS TO BEING THE CUTEST BABY ALIVE FOR TWO
YEARS IN A ROW?
>> HE GAVE A CHARITABLE PASS.
>> Stephen: WOW, WOW.
>> Stephen: F.D.R. DID.
>> F.D.R. DID.
>> HE WAS CUTEST FOUR YEARS IN A ROW.
>> I'VE BEEN TRYING TO CONVINCE ANDY THAT I-- WYATT-- ACTUALLY,
WYATT HELD A MEETING WITH ME THE OTHER DAY, AND HE WANTS TO START
A TIKTOK HOUSE, BUT JUST FOR BABIES.
AND, YOU KNOW, LIKE L.A. HAS THE SWAY HOUSE.
HE'S TALKING ABOUT-- HE WAS CALLING IT THE POO HOUSE --
>> Stephen: WYATT AND BENJAMIN, THAT'S IT?
>> NO, NO.
THERE WOULD BE OTHERS.
BEVERAGE MIN IS ALMOST AT THE AGE THOUGH-- HE'S GETTING A
LITTLE OLD.
>> Stephen: SURE.
HE COULD HAVE A LITTLE WORK.
A LITTLE TUCK, LIP INJECTION-- >> SO WYATT IS JUST, YOU KNOW,
HE RUNS A TIGHT SHIP.
>> Stephen: LET'S-- HERE'S-- HERE'S HAPPY DAD AND SON RIGHT
THERE.
LOOK AT THAT.
>> OH!
>> Stephen: LOVE THE MATCHING OUTFITS.
YOU GUYS CAN HIDE IN A FLORAL SHOP WITH THOSE.
NO ONE WILL EVER FIND YOU, AMONG THE GARLANDS AT CHRISTMASTIME.
NO ONE CAN FIND YOU NEAR THE BANISTERS.
HERE YOU GO.
THERE'S ANDERSON AND WYATT RIGHT THERE, NOT TO BE OUT-CUTED.
AND AGAIN, I WANT TO WARN OUR VIEWERS AT HOME HOW CUTE THIS
IS.
>> AROUND ALMOST LOOKS LIKE A HUMAN BEING, DOESN'T HE?
>> Stephen: COMPARED TO A CHILD THAT HAS SEEN NO SUNLIGHT,
HE APPEARS TO HAVE FLESH TONE.
>> IT'S TRUE.
>> Stephen: NOW, WAIT A SEC, DO THE KIDS GET ALONG?
IF THEY'RE GOING TO START THEIR OWN HOUSE, THEIR OWN TIKTOK
HOUSE, DO THEY HAVE PLAYMATES?
ARE THEY ACTUALLY BUDDY.
>> WE'RE NOW KILLING TIME BETWEEN NAPS, LIKE MANY OTHER
PARENTS.
I GO OVER TO OORPD'S HOUSE EVERY WEEKEND, AND WE HANG OUT.
AND THE BOYS HAVE JUST KIND OF GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE
THEY'RE ACKNOWLEDGING EACH OTHER.
BEN HUGS WYATT AND GIVES HIM A LITTLE KISS.
WYATT REACHED FOR HIM THE OTHER DAY.
>> IT WAS A BIG MOMENT.
>> Stephen: IT IS.
ACKNOWLEDGING EACH OTHER, THAT'S AN EXAMPLE FOR THE REST OF THE
AMERICANS OUT THERE.
WE SHOULD ACKNOWLEDGE EACH OTHER.
>> ISN'T IT?
>> Stephen: IT IS.
>> WE NEED TO LISTEN TO THE CHILDREN.
>> Stephen: I FEEL LIKE YOU DON'T MEAN IT, ACTUALLY.
>> WELL, I DIDN'T, BUT I DID.
>> BENJAMIN HAS YET TO ACCEPT HIS LOSS WHICH, YOU KNOW, RINGS
FAMILIAR.
>> Stephen: IT'S GOING TO GO ALL THE WAY TO THE SUPREME
COURT.
>> YOU KNOW, BEN IS HANDING DOWN A LOT OF HIS CLOTHES TO
ANDERSON-- I MEAN TO WYATT.
WYATT HAS A WHOLE STACK OF BEN-ME-DOWNS, WE CALL THEM.
AND I LIKED-- WHEN ANDERSON SENDS ME A PICTURE OF BEN-- I
MEAN, OF WYATT IN BEN'S OLD CLOTHES, I LIKE TO PUT THEM SIDE
BY SIDE AND DO A "WHO WORE IT BETTER?"
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: HEY, "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE, NEXT WEEK, I SEE IT, I
SEE IT.
>> IT'S LIT IN OUR TEXT CHAIN, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: IS IT?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, BUT I TRUST THAT THAT IS
SOMETHING WORTH SAYING.
"IT IS LIT IN OUR TEXTING."
>> YOU HAVE SOME SILVER GOING ON.
>> Stephen: OH, THIS IS.
YES, YES, IT'S BEEN A TOUGH YEAR, MY MAN.
>> I'VE ASKED YOU THIS BEFORE.
DO YOU DYE YOUR HAIR, COLBERT?
>> Stephen: NO, I DO NOT DYE MY HAIR.
>> THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY.
>> Stephen: NOR DO I CUT IT-- NOR DO I CUT IT ANYMORE.
LOOK AT THE SHAGGY D.A.
>> PLEASE, CAN WE HAVE AN INTERVENTION ON THIS?
ANDERSON IS MORE UPSET ABOUT MY HAIR.
>> HE'S LIKE A ROADY FOR THE GRATEFUL DEAD WITH THE HAIR.
>> Stephen: YOU HOLD HIS ARMS.
I'LL GET THE BRONZE MAN-SCAPER.
>> IT SOUNDS LIKE A FRIDAY NIGHT.
THAT SOUNDS LOOK A FRIDAY.
LET'S DO IT.
>> Stephen: HEY, WE'LL BROADCAST IT.
WE'LL BROADCAST IT.
SUPER BOWL RATINGS, BABY.
SUPER BOWL RATINGS.
ANDERSON-- >> PUT IT ON INSTAGRAM LIVE.
>> Stephen: ANDERSON, YOU GREW UP IN NEW YORK CITY.
NOW YOU'RE RAISING A BOY IN NEW YORK CITY.
ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE HIM TO ANY OF YOUR OLD HAUNTS AND SAY,
"HEY, THIS IS THE CARROUSEL."
WHERE DO.
>> WHERE DO THE BUTLERS TAKE YOU, ANDERSON?
WHERE DO THE BUT LERS TAKE YOU?
>> Stephen: THE VALET.
>> I HAD A NANNY AND SHE TOOK ME TO LOT OF PLACES.
MOST OF THE PLACES MY MOM TOOK ME, I'M NOT SURE I WOULD BRING
MY SON.
MY MOM TOOK ME TO STUDIO 54 WHEN I WAS 11.
I KNOW IT'S GONE, BUT I DON'T THINK --
>> Stephen: HOW ELSE IS YOUR SON GOING TO MEET MARGARET
TRUDEAU.
>> THE SECOND TIME WAS GRACE JONES.
SO-- >> OH, PERFECT.
>> Stephen: OH, WOW.
>> SO, YEAH, SO I DON'T KNOW.
I THINK I -- YOU KNOW, I DON'T NEED TO FOLLOW THAT PATTERN.
>> Stephen: LET'S GET TO THE IMPORTANT STORY HERE.
THE TWO OF YOU ARE RETURNING, BY DEMAND, TO HOST CNN'S NEW
YEAR'S-- LIVE NEW YEAR'S EVE BROADCAST.
SO HOW DO YOU SEND OFF A YEAR LIKE 2020?
DO YOU JUST, LIKE-- >> ...VERY DRUNK.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
THEN I HAVE A CLIP I WANT TO SHOW, BECAUSE I-- I THINK--
>> IT'S NOT HARD, IS IT?
>> Stephen: I THINK I MAY HAVE MENTIONED THIS TO ANDERSON
COOPER BEFORE.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY ANYONE DOES SHOTS.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE VALUE OR THE JOY ASSOCIATED WITH SHOTS.
AND WE HAVE A CLIP HERE OF ANDY MAKING ANDERSON DO SHOTS LAST--
WAS THIS JUST LAST YEAR?
>> YEAH, THIS IS LAST YEAR, I THINK.
>> Stephen: HIT IT.
>> I BROUGHT THE SHOT GLASSES FROM HOME.
CHEERS, BUDDY.
>> OKAY.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> OH!
>> WHAT IS NEW YEAR'S EVE WITHOUT A LEGEND JOINING US.
LET'S GO LIVE TO-- ONE HOUR TO GO UNTIL 2020.
OH, MY GOD.
JUST ENOUGH TIME TO BRING OUT ALL THE SPECIAL GUESTS WE HAVE
BEFORE THE BALL DROPS.
KEITH URBAN AND NICOLE KIDMAN ARE JOINING US.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU RECOVERED YET?
ARE YOU RECOVERED YET, ANDERSON?
>> HONESTLY, JUST EVEN YOU PLAYING THAT, I-- I HAVE A GROSS
YEAGER MEISTER FEELING IN MY THROAT.
>> THE IRONY IS I'VE BECOME THE STRAIGHT GUY AND HAVE TO DRIVE
THE BUS BECAUSE THIS ONE IS DOWN FOR THE COUNT.
HE'S-- HE'S SUCH A LIGHT WEIGHT.
IF NEWS BREAKS WHEN WE'RE ON THE AIR, I'M GOING TO BE THE GUY
THAT'S HANDLING IT.
>> Stephen: REALLY!
REALLY!
>> YEAH.
>> REALLY, BECAUSE -- >> Stephen: I REALLY WANT TO
HEAR ABOUT YOU TALKING ABOUT TRANQS ROLLING INTO KURG STAN.
THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO HEAR.
>> I WANT YOU TO HEAR IT, TOO.
>> Stephen: "THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF AZERBAIJAN"
WHAT WERE YOU SHOOTING BY THE WAY?
WHAT WAS THAT?
WAS IT JUST VODKA?
WERE YOU TAKING IT EASY.
>> TEQUILA.
>> AT THE END I THINK WE DID YEAGERMEISTER.
>> I MADE HIM DO A YEAGERMEISTER SHOT AT MIDNIGHT.
>> Stephen: THAT IS A TERRIBLE WAY TO END ANY EVENING.
>> I KNOW.
>> THAT'S WHAT WE LIKE ABOUT THIS NEW YEAR'S SHOW.
IT'S LIKE EVERYBODY'S NEW YEAR'S EVE.
YOU THINK IT'S GOING TO BE ONE THING.
IT ENDS UP GOING OFF THE RAILS.
YOU SORT OF HAVE A GOOD TIME, BUT SOMETIMES IT'S JUST MESSY
AND SLOPPY.
AND-- >> VERY AUTHENTIC.
IT'S AN AUTHENTIC EXPERIENCE, UNLIKE A LOT OF THE KIND OF
PRETAPED B.S. THAT'S HAPPENING ON OTHER NETWORKS.
>> Stephen: WOW.
( SNAPPING FINGERS ) OW!
OW!
HEY!
I NEED A-- ANDY, YOU HAVE-- YOU'RE FAMOUS FOR MODERATING
WHAT CAN BE CONTENTIOUS GROUPS OF PEOPLE.
ALL THERE FOR THE SAME PURPOSE, WHICH IS TO JUST SCRATCH EACH
OTHER'S EYES OUT.
BUT YOU MANAGE TO KEEP EVERYBODY IN LINE.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: ANDERSON, ANDY, WHICH IS HARDER, MODERATING A
CNN POLITICAL PANEL, OR THE "REAL HOUSEWIVES OF?"
I WOULD LOVE TO SEE DAVID GERGEN THROW A GLASS OF CHARDONNAY IN
RICK SANTORUM'S FACE.
>> RICK SANTORUM LOVES HER CHARDONNAY, DOESN'T SHE?
>> Stephen: AND THE CLAWS COME OUT!
>> YES, THEY DO.
>> THAT GLORIA BORGER IS SO CATTY!
BUT WHAT WAS SHE WEARING?
( LAUGHTER )
BALL GOWN THAT WAS IN LISA'S REJECT PILE IN 2011?
>> Stephen: THAT'S THE QUESTION YOU'VE GOT TO ASK THIS
YEAR, ANDY-- ANDERSON.
ANDERSON.
ANDERSON HAS TO ASK IT.
WOULD YOU EVER WANT TO TRADE JOBS FOR A DAY TO DO EACH
OTHER'S GIG?
>> I COULD NOT-- >> YEAH, I WOULD LIKE--
>> I COULD NOT DO WHAT ANDY DOES.
>> I WOULD LIKE A DAY OFF TO DEAL WITH HIS PANEL.
I WOULD LOVE IT.
CAKEWALK!
YEAH.
>> Stephen: WELL, LISTEN, GUYS, I THINK WE'VE COVERED ALL
THE SUBJECTS.
I THINK SO.
ARE YOU GOING TO WATCH -- >> Stephen: I WAS GOING TO
TALK ABOUT THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE, BUT I THINK ALL OF THIS
IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AT THIS POINT.
>> WHERE ARE YOU ANYTHING TO BE ON NEW YEAR'S EVE.
>> Stephen: I'M GOING TO BE OUT ON THE OPEN ROAD FIGHTING
CRIME.
( LAUGHTER )
YOU SHOULD CALL IN.
>> YOU SHOULD.
>> Stephen: CAN I CALL IN, REALLY?
>> WE WOULD LOVE YOU TO CALL IN.
>> Stephen: WHEN WE'RE OFF AIR, GIVE SOMEONE THE PROPER
NUMBER TO CALL AND I WILL ATTEMPT TO CALL IN.
I WILL DO A SHOT WITH YOU AT THE SAME TIME.
>> LOVE IT!
>> Stephen: I'LL FACETIME.
WOULD THAT BE FUN?
>> YAY!
>> BY THE WAY, I JUST TAUGHT MY SON TO CLAP SO I DO THIS ALL DAY
LONG NOW.
PLEASE STOP ME.
I CAN'T STOP.
>> ANDERSON ALSO LEARNED TO CLAP.
ANDERSON IS LEARNING ABOUT BEING A HUMAN BEING.
>> BY THE WAY, DO YOU KNOW THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO 'ROUND AND
'ROUND.
>> Stephen: IF THEY GO 'ROUND AND 'ROUND, THAT BUS IS IN BIG
TROUBLE.
YOU CAN RING IN THE NEW YEAR WITH ANDERSON AND ANDY BY
WATCHING THEM CO-HOST CNN'S LIVE NEW YEAR'S EVE COVERAGE.
ANDERSON COOPER AND ANDY COHEN, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH WHOOPI GOLDBERG.
THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN.