If their child comes home distressed because they have been bullied or are upset by cyberbullying, parents may react with distress, fear or anger.
An upset parent may storm into school demanding to know what you're going to do about the problem.
An important starting point for responding effectively is being familiar with your school's policy and procedures for responding to bullying.
Make sure all parents have a copy of the school bullying policy, so they know what to do if their child has bullied.
What do I say to parents when they report their child is being bullied?
Thank the parents for coming in to see you and reassure them that you will take the problem seriously.
Outline to the parent how your school responds to incidents of bullying.
Tell them that you will investigate and report back within an agreed timeline.
Ask if the parents have concerns about their child's immediate safety, because this may suggest the need for short term preventative measures.
If the parent asks you what will happen to the student who did the bullying, confirm the school may apply a range of consequences, including serious disciplinary measures if warranted.
What questions should I ask the parents?
The most important thing is to listen to what parents have to say.
If it's not convenient for you to discuss the matter right then, arrange a time, preferably that same day, when you can talk about it in more detail.
Record the parent's responses to the following types of questions:
When did their child tell them about the bullying?
How long do they think the bullying has been going on?
What has been happening?
Where does it happen?
Who do they think is involved?
Are other students around at the time?
How is it affecting their child?
Did their child tell any other adults?
Parents are sometimes unclear themselves about what has happened.
In this case, ask the parent to talk with their child further and write down the details of what has been happening, or get an older student to write their own record of what went on and who witnessed it.
You also need to talk to the other students involved.
Explain to the parent that it may take you a few days to get to the bottom of it, and suggest another meeting to follow-up with them.
In the meantime, you could direct the parents to website material for information on bullying and cyberbullying which can help them to keep their child safe.
What if the parent wants to talk to the other students involved, and talk to their parents? What if the parent's aggressive?
You don't have to put up with aggressive behaviour.
Politely, but firmly, interrupt the discussion and ask a member of the senior administration to join you.
If you can't do that then bring the meeting to a close and ask the parent to put their complaint in writing or make an appointment to see the principal.
Make notes immediately about what took place and pass them on to the principal.
Tell parents upfront that the school is not able to give specific personal details of other students involved.
Assure them that the school will follow up the incident thoroughly, support will be given to repair the situation, and appropriate discipline will be applied.
Parents will make their own choices about what they do, but you can recommend that the school is better placed to work with the parents of other students.
Reassure the parents that the school will contact the other student's parents as part of the process in responding to the bullying complaint.
The behaviour of the individuals involved in bullying must be dealt with by schools.
However, time invested in developing a positive school culture and improving peer group relationships will minimise the time you spend on incidents in the future.