WrestleMania has had it all.
Celebrities, sports figures, MMA fighters, icons, and even future presidents - multiple
times.
There have been cage matches, ladder matches, Hell in a Cell matches, street fights and
lingerie pillow fight matches - but I am Luke Owen and for all the event’s spectacle,
here are four WrestleMania matches that will NEVER happen again.
Big Show vs. Akebono
WrestleMania 21 in Hollywood, California didn’t just have a major changing of the guard - with
both Batista and John Cena winning their first world championships - it was also had an awful
sumo match between Akebono and The Big Show.
Akebono was a great sumo wrestler, and was the first non-Japanese born wrestler to reach
Yokozuna - the highest rank of Sumo wrestling, not the 90s WWF wrestler - and the match had
quite a lot of hype around it.
But the crowd booed it out of the building when the traditional pre-match salt throwing
and mind-games became tiresome.
The match itself was just a lot of hand slapping, with the finish being Akebono using a hip
toss to throw Show out.
But the match did have one fan...if only by default, with Bryan Alvarez writing in his
review, “No real rating, but I will say that this was [Shawn] Michaels vs. [Kurt]
Angle compared to [Christy Hemme vs. Trish Stratus].”
- of Figure Four Weekly, Issue #511
Surprisingly, this wasn’t Akebono’s only time in the WWE, as he teamed with Big Show
at a house show against Carlito and Matt Morgan, and he won championships in All Japan Pro
Wrestling and Dragon Gate.
But for all his accomplishments, there hasn’t been a sumo match at WrestleMania since, and
this is probably the reason why.
Bart Gunn vs. Butterbean
Bart Gunn vs. Butterbean from WrestleMania 15 was the culmination of the infamous Brawl
For All tournament, a series of televised shoot fights - meaning the wrestlers actually
physically beat each other up - which unsurprisingly caused more injuries than created stars.
And who did Gunn face for winning his matches?
One of the toughest men on the planet in heavyweight boxer Butterbean, who - by this point of his
career - had 36 knockouts and 18 toughman contest wins.
But this wasn’t a boxing match, this wasn’t a wrestling match, this was a fight.
Rumours have been rife around this match, with many speculating that it was punishment
for Gunn winning Brawl For All.
The story goes that Jim Ross wanted to use the tournament to launch the WWF career of
Doctor Death Steve Williams, who was then planned to feud with WWF Champion Steve Austin.
However Williams got knocked out by Bart Gunn in the second round, who creative had no plans
for.
So WWF got Gunn into training fast:
“They took him off the road for months to train in boxing and turn him into a real boxer.
And then we'll put him in with Butterbean and it will put wrestling over, because we'll
have a wrestler beat a PPV guy.”
- Dave Melzter, Lapsed Fan Podcast
Head writer at the time Vince Russo confirms this.
“With the presentation he put on in the Brawl For All, we really thought he could
have beat Butterbean, or else we wouldn't have put the guy in the ring.”
Instead, Butterbean won the match in a matter of seconds by knockout.
The WWF were not expecting this to be as one-sided as it was, and were very embarrassed by the
result.
Gunn himself has said he's only seen the match once - the replay shown on the night - but
maintains that he could still beat Butterbean.
“They wouldn't let me lift weights, I dropped like 25-30 pounds.
Because of the training I was doing, I was uncomfortable, I was green.
Even before the fight I didn't feel right.
I wish I could take it back and redo the whole thing.
I'd do it my way.
Same thing might have happened, but I would have been happier.”
- Bart Gunn, RF Shoot.
The Gimmick Battle Royal
WrestleMania X7 is considered by many to be the best Mania of all-time.
It had a thrilling hardcore match, Vince v Shane, the end of Right to Censor, TLC 2 and
Steve Austin shaking hands with Vince McMahon to become the new WWF Champion in the main
event.
But there’s another match its very notable for: the gimmick battle royal.
What’s a gimmick battle royal I hear you ask?
Well, it was a self-aware poke of fun at the WWF gimmicks of old.
All the wild and wacky ones you remember from your childhood were there.
Dustbin men, clowns, repo men - who do not look like me - hockey players, racial profiling,
soldiers, turkeys, TNA creative, sailors, and - oddly - James E. Cornette.
The match also featured four men who, the year previous, had featured in a tag team
match that was so bad, Bryan Alvarez of Figure Four gave it, “minus all the stars in the
Universe, and the Universe is infinite.”
The match was over before it even begun, with the entrances lasting longer than the Battle
Royal itself.
In the end, The Iron Sheik won by throwing Sgt.
Slaughter and Hillbilly Jim over the top rope.
Cornette lasted longer than Repo Man - WHO DOES NOT LOOK LIKE ME.
The original plan was for Slaughter to win, which is why at the end of the battle royal
he puts Sheik in the cobra clutch, but the master of humble had to win because he couldn't
leave his feet.
“Sheik won, literally because he may have died taking a bump over the top rope to the
outside.”
- issue 302 of Figure Four Weekly, Bryan Alvarez.
Why hasn't there been another gimmick battle royal?
Surely there's a place for Matadors, Irish stereotypes, Undertaker knock-offs, pimps,
vampires and poorly thought out 50s sitcom parodies?
But with the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal, there probably isn't enough time on
the WrestleMania card anymore - even if it is seven hours long.
WWF vs. NFL Battle Royal
Another Battle Royal now, but one that was very different.
During the Chicago section of WrestleMania 2 - an event that took place in three different
locations - members of the NFL took on WWF wrestlers in a very publicised match, particularly
because it featured Refrigerator Jones who was a cultural icon at the time.
The match even featured Dallas Cowboy hero Too Tall Jones as a guest referee alongside
Chicago Bears legend Dick Butkus.
Fun fact: Dick Butkus would go on to be a coach for the Chicago Enforcers in Vince McMahon’s
XFL.
Another fun fact: Dick Butkus is a hilarious name.
Like most Battle Royals, the match was pretty slow and uninteresting, but did feature one
great spot where Big John Studd eliminated Refrigerator Jones, who then pulled him out
of the ring via a handshake.
As for the rest of the players, there isn't a whole lot to say.
Apart from about former Pittsburgh Steelers defensive tackle Ernie Holmes, who upset many
in WWF during the practice battle royal the night before.
“For whatever reason, he was mouthing off.
[Saying] wrestling is fake, and I could beat all you guys.
And Andre goes up on him and goes, "you talk too much".
They had to talk Ernie Holmes down, even though Ernie didn't back down even though [Andre
is] so big.
And some of the wrestlers go, "you don't want to mess with this guy".
- Dave Meltzer, Lapsed Fan Podcast
All the NFL guys were just thrown out at various points and it wasn't put over on commentary,
and the final three ended up being The Hart Foundation and Andre himself.
Do you remember when Vince McMahon made Trish Stratus bark like a dog on Raw?
And what are Oli Davis and my predictions for WWE Battleground?
Find out more by clicking the videos to the left.
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I’ve been Luke Owen, and that was a list.