hey guys it's Jen and today I have a very special guest she is my very good friend Susan Yara she
has two channels on YouTube one of them is called mix make up for like beauty things I love that
channel and then they also have another channel called the fam Channel which is all like mom's
stuff and I wanted to bring her on because we've had so many discussions about the fact that you
grew up half Korean half Korean so I'm actually full Korean but I was born in the United States
Susan you were born in Korea it's old yeah I write yep so you know something I wanted to just
bring up because like I have a daughter who's half Korean and my second baby I just wanted a little
bit of your perspective growing up hapa growing up mix and how that affected you and any advice
you have I've got I've got a lot I've got a lot you guys have some time you guys be ready we're
going into a little heart-to-heart stuff I like it great so I guess we can start off by talking
about your origin story well first off I'm half Mexican half Korean my mom is Korean she was born
and raised in Seoul lived there her entire life until she met my dad she's like very crazy she
has a very Korean woman she's Korean Korean I guess to like make the long story short she met
my dad here in the United States one of her best friends had moved to the United States because she
married an American she came out to visit her friend that guy was in the military and my dad
was in the military so she was at like a military base and they introduced her and my dad they hit
it off and then my mom went back to Korea and she kind of told her mom she was like I met a guy I'm
kind of interested in him and so the funny thing about that is usually that wouldn't fly because my
mom was actually at roved like she really yeah her dad was like this well-known businessman
and stuff and he had a guy that he wanted her to marry it wasn't like one of those things where I
was like on paper or anything like that it wasn't like she had to had to but her dad he had this
expectation of her right to marry this man she hadn't actually like dated or anything like that
she was like around 1920 when she met my dad she was really young she hadn't really been out there
and exploring men you know like she wasn't she was exploring the United States so that sucks
right her thing to her mom was let me go take this trip before I get married and stuff I didn't want
to have like one thing that I do for my like on my own so her mom was like sure take this
trip then she meets my dad and then told her mom she wanted to come back to the United States and
see what could you know come with that but little did she know she was actually pregnant Wow yeah so
she was pregnant with me that was a big no-no she wasn't married you know to you and it wasn't even
a Korean man Korean culture is very conservative yeah a lot went down and you know obviously she
decided to have me thank goodness you know but you know there at the time it was a little bit
more difficult there was no social media no cell phones no you know just like being able to find
somebody she had to send like a letter to my dad to let him know she was pregnant so she ended up
staying in Korea because she wanted to be with her mom she told me she was like I didn't feel
like I could do this without my mom there I know the feeling right yeah yeah so she decided to
have me in Korea before bringing me back to the United States to be with my dad okay so I kind
of want to ask a little bit about your childhood because I'm sure it was very different like first
of all being born in Korea you were probably only surrounded by Koreans and then at a very very very
young age you came over came over what kind of community were you around like were you around
other Korean people do you feel like you had a Korean childhood yes I grew up in New Mexico and
it was actually predominantly Latino Mexico New Mexico has very many Koreans there isn't that
much diversity to be honest at least not where I grew up in a small town my mom did bring her
mom over from Korea which is a whole other story but she did she brought her over from Korea so I
actually had very strong Korean influence at home because she is very strong Korean influence like
she only spoke Korean she didn't speak any English unless like she absolutely had to did you learn
I mean I'd say like you know sat on honey Dada stuff in like I ate Korean food all the time you
know it's funny I actually told my mom I remember a nursery rhyme that they used to sing to me when
I was a baby my mom was like there's no way and I was like no some tookie-tookie I was like what
like I still remember like I just remember that I think I remember one time you saw me singing
a song to aria and you were like oh I remember that from my childhood mm-hm yeah I mean I grew
up with probably more Korean Nursery Rhymes than American ones yep so and I did a vivid
for me and I definitely do that for my kids and I think that's a good that's a really
good thing for you to do too and we'll get into that kinda too it has made some choices Mason's
like I wanted part of this they're laughing and having a really good time this is Mason
everybody Mason Pearson just like the brush you know I had at home a very strong Korean
influence she was the person who took care of me she would like throw me on her back a lot
stuff yeah so she would wrap me it's like a big blanket with yes yeah she would do that to me all
the time she did that with my little sisters too my grandma at home like growing up as a child I
felt very Korean because I was around her there weren't a lot of other Korean kids around and
stuff and my mom would try to like take me to like hang out with other Koreans because there's
not that many all know each other have like a community yeah they had a little community and
stuff but I always would be upset after because I would feel like I would go hang out with the
Koreans and I'd say on Korean and they'd say no you're not you're not Korean and so all the
little kids like you know and kids don't know what they're saying right they weren't trying
to be mean to me I don't think but it would always make me feel very like alienated like how old were
you then I could remember things like that when I was like even five just being like I'm Korean
and they feel like you're not Korean and I also didn't really speak Korean and so I think that
was like a a thing with these kids because they all actually spoke Korean which was if you think
about that's really impressive but they also agree it's really big among Koreans they feel
a sense of pride about language and you know I always felt very criticized growing up because
at times my Korean would be less perfect or if I had developed an American accent that people
would bring it up and you start to feel very self-conscious mm-hm so even as a Korean or
you feel very judged by it yeah for sure even my grandma would be like slightly embarrassed I
didn't speak Korean because they'd be like they'd start speaking to me in Korean they'd be like ah
and I'd be like oh thank you like I didn't really know how else to like communicate also food was a
big thing I grew up on Korean food and it was funny it's I always think about things that my
grandma would do she would try to incorporate like American food into Korean food with for me
you know to like try to make this like a mixed like a mixture so like she would try to make me
French to us for breakfast but she didn't realize that they were putting like syrup on it so she'd
give me honey which still tasted really good that sounds yeah but then she would serve like like
pickled items with my french toast you know like that stuff was kind of funny he just have kimchi
with every yeah exactly you know now that I think about I guess Koreans a lot of times for breakfast
it's very savory it's not like something sweet like Americans do mm-hm you know when I would
visit Korea we would just have like rice and soup like it was like another regular meal food is so
important to Koreans and I just feel so much for your grandmother that her thought process is like
really trying to gratify her granddaughter oh yeah desires for a certain kind of food yeah especially
with like she was always cooking you said also when we were talking before a few times when you
were like a teenager where it became a little bit more of like a conflict in your life yeah I was
kind of like a rebellious teen and I think that kind of stemmed from being mixed and being like
not really sure where I belonged instead what was your diversity situation was it the same yeah and
this is actually something that I would like keep in mind for aria and for the baby boy to me I feel
like I didn't have a strong identity of who I was my mom accepted my dad's culture right she moved
here and she was kind of like let's do away with being Korean I want you to be American Mexican
you know absorb that like be that she didn't really speak to me in Korean she didn't really
like introduce a lot of Korean anything culture to me for me growing up as a Korean without a
lot of diversity it breaks my heart a little bit because I grew up very proud of being Korean and
you know wearing hung books and talking to family that was kind of my experience with that because
my mom was kind of a misfit right she left on not great terms because she was pregnant and not
married and she decided to leave I think a part of her was a little disappointed that that's how she
got treated like her dad wasn't very happy with her and why embrace my culture then if that's
how my culture treated me and I think that was young she was so young and yeah so I think that
that played a big part in it and you know what's funny about being a Mexican in America is that you
are also grappling with this like I'm American but you're Mexican or Latino like my dad would never
even really say he was Mexican or anything like that he'd say our ancestry is Spanish and you're
American and that's like a whole lot yeah there's a lot of like different things that go in there
and what's funny is it was actually Latino kids that were the most racist towards me mm-hmm even
though I was half it was like that I was Asian to them so there was this like crazy like thing
happening and you know that at the time you know Arya is gonna grow up in a time when there are a
lot more mixed kids we're very happy I'm very blessed to be living in LA now where there is
so much more diversity than how I grew up because I do have a lot of difficult times in my history
and racism toward me because I grew up without I mean not just Koreans but I just really didn't
have other Asians around me yeah you know so I was like Asian Jenn yep yes I you Asian was the first
descriptor and that was for me too even though I was only half I was the Asian girl at school
so yeah so that same same it doesn't matter if you're half or if you're full aria and baby to
like I would love for them to just be fully comfortable exactly being exactly what they
are and not having to be so rolled to fine yep but I know society just isn't Oh so accepting of
that for like my mixed kid right I kind of hope that that is changing and I see it changing a
lot what is because yeah so my ID yeah like that that's so like not yeah that's okay I grew up all
the time with people being like what what are you where are you from I'm from New Mexico maybe like
no no yeah because my son is half Indian his dad is Indian and then core Korean quarter Mexican so
very diverse very diverse yeah very cute mixed kids are cute you know okay I feel like I could
talk for an hour about this but can we just touch really briefly I don't know if you have the same
experience but I do feel like there is kind of a weird fetishization of mixed people honestly
I think as time goes on it's not really like one of those things that gets enough tension
that it's like actually improving yeah it's like being more PC I think it just really still very
much exists and it very much exists for people who are specifically mixed Asian did you have
that yes period I remember it in college especially guys being like are you Asian
are you Eurasian have you heard that term yeah I had never heard that before until a guy said
that to me once and I was like oh there's there's one for every mix that there's like blasian yeah
your child is like Mexican D
yes I'm like the official term you did it it's kind of bizarre when it comes to like talking
about children I know you know it's almost like sexualizing kids that are mixed oh you're gonna
have to be really careful about her oh teenage I know you know what people would tell me when
I was pregnant they'd be like oh you're gonna have just such a good-looking kid like he like
he's gonna be so hot and like that weird sad that comment since I started dating Ben and we started
dating at sixteen oh weird isn't that it would be strangers off the street where are me and saying
you know you guys would have beautiful children yeah that's so I've always been like don't jinx
this I know yeah hey the fear in the back of my head I can't go wrong - it's like humans with
other humans are a variety of people are weird you know what I I haven't felt like we're just
sensitive to it because we've got the mixed kids but even just my friends who have just
an Asian kid or just like a black kid or you know what I mean I feel like people just focus on race
it's such a weird thing that they do race gets focused on what they're not trying to be racist
necessarily but there's like weird things that happen for sure when people ask you like what race
are you how do you feel comfortable responding to that I mean I first and foremost Sam and I'm
American right I grew up in the United States I was born in Seoul but I grew up in the United
States I was a United States citizen when I was born cuz my dad was from here it's one of those
things where when I was younger I used to hate it I actually remember coming home from school after
being bullied and telling my parents it was their fault you know that I was being bullied like this
but now that I'm an adult and I look back on my experiences and stuff I actually would not
change a thing I am so glad that I mixed I get to take you know from different cultures among being
American also you know like I get to say that I'm Korean and there are these like fantastic
parts about being Korean there's fantastic parts about being Mexican and being a person who grew
up mixed with those two races in America it also made me a stronger person I feel like because I
had to really accept who I was and defend myself I just feel like I got really strong yeah you
know I think I don't think just being mixed do you experience I think everybody experiences it
and there's a girl on my team named Anna she's a redhead she grew up in Hawaii she got picked
on for that you know like it's can be really hard for aria and for baby boy is make sure that they
feel very strong in their identity so as a parent and as someone who is like half Korean what advice
would you give me in like raising my children to have that strong identity first off I would
prepare them for the fact that people are gonna sometimes be like not understand not understand
that you're mixed it's sometimes surprising when someone that's you know your own race gives
you a hard time about something or just doesn't understand me that's that's what makes it really
hard so I think that preparation mentally having like a good spread of experiences within all of
those cultures right and just knowing who she is and just knowing that that can happen knowing that
you had those experiences you know my dad didn't really have those experiences and my mom didn't
have those experiences so they were kind of like unsure of how to explain to me what to expect you
know you at least I grew up experiencing that so you kind of know how you felt and everything
I don't think my experience as a mixed kid is that unique to your experience is just an Asian
kid growing up in a non Asian community you know I think it's still sort of the same thing I think at
the end marrying somebody else who's not Korean yeah yeah sure that had its own hurdles oh my
gosh I can't that would be a whole other talk yeah marrying somebody who's Indian yeah yeah
and that was more on his life yeah his parents are great but you know there's no there's always
like something that's like interesting about when you're mixing all these cultures so but I think
just strong identity and preparation for what's gonna happen and sharing your own experiences with
Aria is gonna be a big deal so as somebody who is hapa and you have so many people watching right
now that might relate to you and or people who are having Harper children what would you say to them
I would say embrace it there are more of us than you think you might feel alone but you know now I
feel like everybody is mixing we're all out there you've got a community people that are mixing and
having kid that are mixed are enriching our world and I feel like I'm very lucky to know that I can
I take experiences from different cultures and my own personal experiences that other people
don't have I feel very unique and lucky at the end of the day I mean we're all just human you
know everybody can pass on different features here and there but it's not really any different
from one person to another yep just found it super fascinating and I'm really excited that
we can kind of have this kind of conversation you know it's not easy talking about difficult things
that you've gone through in the past especially over things you can't control I'm glad you got me
talking about it because I feel like you lock it up those memories and stuff and you just kind of
throw it away and you don't really talk about it anymore I'm also excited to embrace you into more
Korean I know I am so good in you guys I'm going to Korea for the first time since I mean we're so
excited a so I'm really excited because so many recommendations I can't wait I can't wait oh if
you guys have recommendations of what Susan should do to sort of enrich her experience in her visit
to Korea or like what things she should eat and check out let me know that down in the comments
if you enjoyed this video please give us a thumbs up and if you want to just add your story if you
happen to be mixed or know someone who's mixed or have mixed kids I would love to learn from your
wisdom because you know this is going to be a new adventure for us yeah well this is another thing
to enrich your experience of Korean news I did an entire Korean style makeup look on Susan which is
gonna be over on her channel so I will leave a link down below and you guys should go and
check out and subscribe to their channel as well it's amazing you guys are gonna love it I loved
it and thank you guys so much for watching I love you and I will see you guys in the next video bye