How to deal with a husband who is always on his phone. My name is Paul Friedman I
founded The Marriage Foundation and I'm going to try and give you some ideas and
it's not going to be sleazy or anything weird like that -- it's going to be practical.
First of all, don't break his phone -- that's not what the problem is.
I want to take you back to when you first got married even before and when you
thought, "This is the guy. This is the one. I think I want to marry him, have
children with him, be with him always, really enjoy our time together. He's an
awesome guy," and all of that he was like the light of your world. And when you
wanted to marry him your vision was that you would be happy. You ignored the fact
that over 50% of the people who get married get a divorce, you ignored that.
This might even be your second marriage. There are so many of those now but still
you were hopeful and you knew what you wanted even though you never expressed
it. You wanted happiness, you wanted your marriage to be happy. You wanted the
happiness that comes with love because love is where it's at. And now, he won't
get off his phone, he won't pay attention to you. He's too busy doing his phone.
What happened? Well, let's understand something. We human
beings are essentially souls and we have a material body, a biological body and we
have a mind which is also biological and we also have a mind which is sort of
metaphysical. You can't see the mind, the actual mind. You could see the brain but
the actual mind is part of you that is neither physical nor spiritual. The soul
purely spiritual. You know what I mean, you can't touch it. You can't sense it
with your five senses, the soul is loved. How do you identify love? You can't put
it in a jar so it's a spiritual part of us but it's the most important part of
us and instead of focusing on that, and it's not your fault.
We are not taught this stuff anywhere. Instead of focusing on the spiritual
side of our marriage somehow we think all that stuff's can be taken care of
but it's not. We focus on the material side going to work, taking care of the
house, the apartment, cleaning clothes, buying clothes, making sure the car is
running right, taking care of the kids -- all this material stuff, the
necessities and we skip the most important necessity of marriage that
there is. Don't forget why you got married. You got married to be happy
meaning you got married in order to experience unconditional love. Well,
instead of doing anything to make that happen you have put all of your activity,
all of your actions, all of your efforts into the material side of your marriage.
So everyone is bored, everyone is complacent -- they don't know
what to do with themselves. It's not fulfilling. If you're on the phone all
day you're not fulfilled. You're wasting time. He's wasting time so
here's what you do about it. You redirect your energy back to that
which is more important in your marriage which is the love -- it's really that
simple. Now in practice, it requires a bit of an
education so I recommend either of my books which will help you and you could
check the reviews for these books. People enjoy not just enjoy but they benefit
tremendously and you will too. You learn how to infuse your heart into your
marriage again, how to make it a day to day getting better all the time marriage
because your expectation really ought to be tied to why you got married in the
first place, to be happy and to experience unconditional love. So if you
trust me on this and then do it, if you put your energy into the love side of
your marriage, the love side not the sex side necessarily, sex is fine but that's
not what I'm talking about. Your husband will set down his phone.
He'd rather be with you if he can get that feeling of love again and that's
what to do and that's a very positive approach, isn't it? There's no criticism
you're not criticising him, you're not condemning him. You're not nagging him
you're not bothering him. What you're doing is you're turning on the light --
it's a very positive approach and it works. Why wouldn't it work? So get some
tips on how and go for it. Now, maybe you've just
wandered onto this video and maybe your marriage is really falling apart -- I hope
not but if it is, The Marriage Foundation is a nonprofit foundation so
write to our counselors. We have a free service and share with them what your
dilemma is and they will guide you and they are not commissioned people. They
don't get a commission or a bonus. They will give you good advice. Okay, that's it
and I hope you got something out of this. It's always a better idea to approach
your marriage in a positive way. So blessings to you, blessings to your
husband and blessings to your family and don't be afraid to share this. Don't be
afraid to let people know that there's a positive approach to marriage.
Take care, God bless!