We've had these idealistic bodies shoved in our faces.
From the first minute you picked up
a Barbie or an Action Man,
you had this chiselled body at such a young age.
So you just feel like the body that you have
isn't what is desirable.
(dramatic music)
A little over a year ago,
I had a very rigid perception of body image,
which negatively affected by mental health.
This is mainly down to entering the queer community.
I saw this - it's known as the queer iceberg,
where you have all of these perfect, muscular,
cis-gendered, white men at the top,
and that is what everyone needs to aspire to.
And the representation from everyone else
just was nonexistent.
So I felt like to be accepted and to be desired,
I had to become one of those people.
And I spent so much of my time at the gym
and trying to get my body to a certain place.
And I thought I was happy, but I wasn't.
I felt desired, but my mental health was
in pieces in reality.
So yeah, spending all my time focusing on being desirable
wasn't healthy for me at all.
My journey in changing my view about my body started
throughout the wonderful lockdown.
I was no longer able to go to the gym
and I started to gain quite a lot of weight.
I was comfort eating.
I was worried I was no longer going to be desired.
And suddenly, something like snapped.
I was like, Why is that my concern?
Why is my primary concern
that I'm no longer going to be desired?
Why is that what my happiness is dependent on?
And it just, kind of, changed from there.
I realised that I could be truly happy with who I was.
I could continue being just as happy, if not more so,
without adhering to the body standards
that have been set for us.
And now, I just feel fully at peace with who I am.
And it's one of the most liberating feelings I've ever had.
Today, I would describe my relationship
with my body as being,
I would say I'm just truly at one with my body.
I'm very accepting,
and I'm very grateful for what my body does for me.
I focus a lot more on the air that I breathe,
the food that I intake,
and I'm just grateful for my body's functions,
and for the fact that I'm alive,
rather than punishing myself for it not looking a certain way.
So I'd say that I've grown to have
a healthy relationship with my body.
Yes, of course, I still have bad days.
I'll still have the odd day where I maybe feel
a little bit self-conscious,
but they're in comparison to how it was
when I was working out all the time.
I get a lot less self-conscious,
which you wouldn't think would be the case.
But being at one with your body means
that you no longer really care
what other people think about.
I've had a multitude of reactions
to my change in body image.
The majority of them,
the vast majority of them have been amazing.
I've noticed a complete shift in the DMs that I get,
the comments that I get.
It's all focused on, almost like thanking me.
I get so many messages a day that are just thanking me
for the representation I'm bringing to body image,
for things I do for mental health.
And it's one of the most humbling things,
is when someone thanks you for what you do.
Of course, I get the odd, you know,
person who's criticising me
for the way that my body has changed and for what-
they almost call me lazy.
And some people say we shouldn't give them attention,
and I don't, I block them.
But I then use that message that they've sent me
and use it in a post to basically show people
that you will still get messages like this,
but you can still love yourself at the same time.
I would say that my favourite part of my body is
my butt,
only because I'm quite a proud bottom.
And it's just, I don't know, it just,
I just feel, it helps me to feel sexy.
It's quite hard to explain without sounding arrogant.
I'm aware that I don't have,
you know, a dump truck behind me,
(laughing) but I still, I don't know.
It's just like my little confidence boost.
And that's why I like to quite often wear sexy underwear,
just for myself, under my normal clothes,
I'll wear some sexy underwear because it makes me feel sexy.
And to quote Little Mix, “I'm sexiest when I'm confident”.
So, the parts of my body that I've learned to love is
probably going to be
my tummy, and my lower back, my love handles.
I think my love handles were
the part of my body that I hated the most,
only because you can hold your stomach in,
but you couldn't do anything with love handles.
And I remember one of my biggest goals when I was at the gym
was to get rid of them and I, for six months straight,
I did abs every single day and they were finally gone.
And I was like, oh my god, I'm so happy.
I remember when they came back and I was like,
I worked so hard for nothing.
And now, I'm just like, why?
Like, I'm just so at peace with them being there,
like it's just part of my body.
And pretty much everyone has them.
So, I'd say my love handles.
So, for anyone that is struggling
to love the skin that they're in,
I would say the best thing to do is
to just ask yourself why that is.
When you ask yourself that question
and you go deeper and deeper into it,
you realise that it isn't your issue.
It's a societal issue.
You'll start to realise that the reason that you struggle
with your body image is because the body that you have,
hasn't been represented.
And we've had these idealistic bodies shoved in our faces.
From the first minute you picked up
a Barbie or an Action Man,
you had this chiselled body at such a young age.
So, you just feel like the body that you have
isn't what is desirable.
So as long as you ask yourself why,
you'll realise that it's not your problem,
and you're beautiful as you are.