All: (singing to Oompa-Loompa theme throughout disclaimer) Whatever you do, don't try this at home!
Jory: Or you...
Jon and Riley: Da-da-dun!
Jory: Will be...
Jon and Riley: Da-da-dun!
All: ...dead!
Jory: Hello, and welcome to the series finale of...
Jory and Riley: ..."Is It a Good Idea to Microwave This?"
I'm your host, Jory Caron.
Riley: (through clenched teeth) And I'm your sidekick, Riley McIlwain.
Jory: Today, we're microwaving this propane fuel tank for experiment #300!
*party popper goes off*
Jon: WOO-HOO!
Jory: Aw, yeah! We couldn't have gone with bigger fireworks, because, you know, we had to spend it on this.
Jory: Wait! But wait- there's more!
Riley: Ryan, come on in here, pal.
Jory: We also have all of these experiments from seasons past.
Jon: Aw, man! That is a box full of fun if I've ever seen one!
Jory: Wait- that doesn't sound like enough!
Riley: Not enough! It's not enough!
Jon: That's not enough, either!
Riley: It's not enough!
Jory: Do we have anything lying around?
Jon: Can we go to eleven?
Riley: Of COURSE we do!
Ryan: AH!
Jory: Oh, wow! 'Cause we're also gonna douse it with this can of gasoline!
Jory: Smart!
*theme song plays*
Jory: It smells like victory!
Jory: All hands to the deck!
Jory: Nobody likes roasted nuts!
Jory and Jon: WHOA!
Jory: You got that on camera, right?
Riley: I don't trust this bitch!
Jon: Are you out of your mind?!
Jory: The masks- they do nothing!
Riley: You TOTALLY could have died!
Riley: The tin foil shield- it actually worked!
Jory: Stopping, stopping!
Riley and Playlist Live crowd: 3.5!
Jon: YEAH!
Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave this?
Jory: Let's find out! Here at the Jory Caron Microwave Field of Destruction...
Riley: (shouting) Three-point-OH!
*Riley keeps shouting "oh"*
Jory: (yelling) Special effects!
*Riley stops screaming "oh," and Jory yells with excitement*
Jory: ...safety is our #1 concern. That's why we run as fast as we can!
Riley: (hyper; yelling) That's why we hide behind that big [beep]in' truck over there!
Jory: We also got a new safety feature.
Jory: (to Riley) Hold this.
Jory: Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it...!
Jon: Why didn't we think of this in season one?!
Jory: Mobile microwaving system!
Riley: WHOO!
Jory: If you guys want tin foil tunics, just leave a comment down below!
Jon: Wait- but, Jory, why do we wear tin foil tunics?
Jory: It's to protect our nuts, because NOBODY likes roasted nuts!
Jory: Okay, let's get to microwaving.
*backwards retirement montage plays*
Jon: Oh, who do we got here? She looks familiar!
Jory: Oh, this is Shelley. She was the retired one who was smoking.
Jory: Now, she's gonna get a mouthful of my gas, am I right?
Riley: We should shoot these at it!
Jory: Yeah!
Riley: (in serious space voice) Saturn missiles!
Jon: (extra sarcastically) Just point those at the propane. That looks REALLY safe!
Jory: Uh, I don't want to put TOO much in there, 'cause then it would just take too long.
Jon: Alright, alright. We'll just stack all the other microwaves...
Jory: Oh! I can put the light bulb in there!
Jon: Yeah! Now, put the Etch-a-Sketch over there, and just decorate it. It's a pyramid of fun!
Jory: Okay! Now, let's get some gas on this.
Jory: Hmm. That smells SO safe!
Jon: Whoa! Not on the electrical cord, 'cause we DO need to use that!
Jory: Mmm! That smells so good!
Jory: Okay! Not on my shoes, either!
Jon: (hinting for Jory to stop) Okay!
Jon: Look at that pile of nonsense!
Jory: (loudly) So, you may be wondering how long we should put it in there for.
Jory: (still loudly) I'm gonna go ahead and say 30 minutes!
Jon: Three-zero-zero-zero!
Jory: Let's get the hell out of here!
*hissing of propane tank*
Jory: Thelma and Louise, baby! Hand in hand!
Jory: Aw, yeah!
Jory: (shouting) GO, GO!
*Riley screams in terror*
Jon: (shouting) Oh, we got fire, we got fire!
Jon: (shouting) Get outta there!
Ryan: We already got fire...
Jory: It's okay- we have a back-up roll of tin foil!
Jory: (disappointedly) Aw...
Riley: (also disappointedly) Aw!
Jon: I saw flames for a few seconds.
Ryan: Yeah. Could it have killed the microwave?
Riley: Oh, I see...
Jon: No! Oh, no, no, no, no! Oh, no!
Riley: OH!
Jon: Oh, goodie! This will be exciting!
Jory: Guys, just call me when it's done. If you've seen one experiment, you've kinda seen them all, in my book.
Riley: You've seen 300, you've seen 'em all!
Jory and Riley: (in dramatic voices) Give them nothing, but take from them EVERYTHING!
Jory: Yeah!
Jory: (in demonic voice) Tonight, we die in HELL!
Riley: Whoa!
Jory: Oh, fire! There's fire!
Jon: Oh, YES!
Ryan: Oh, boy!
Jon: Oh, YES! This turns me ON!
Jory: Guys, stand up. Take it with me!
*Jory yells with joy*
Jon: You can't see. You fell on the ground.
Jory: I will have no eyebrows!
Jory: Yeah, luckily, we have safety features here.
Ryan: The rifle is our fail-safe.
Jon: One of these days, it's going to...
Jory: (in singsong) ...shoot us in the face!
Jory: What if a hole punctures...?
*Shelley's door explodes open; Saturn missiles go off*
Jon: (yelling) WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! GET DOWN!
Jory: (grunting) YES!
*more Saturn missiles go off*
Jory: (nervously) Oh, my God!
*more Saturn missiles whistle*
Jory: We didn't think this one through at ALL!
*more Saturn missiles whistle*
Ryan: Oh, God, the door's OPEN!
Jory: Wait- the propane, though, didn't go off, did it? It couldn't have.
Jon: No way!
Riley: No! The gasoline worked, I guess!
Jory: Oh, God...
Jory: (nervously) Mom, I love you! Oh, God!
Jon: (screaming) YES, YES, YES!
Jory: If it's spreading the vapor from the propane, that'll be...
Jon: (screaming at top of his lungs) YES!
Riley: AW!
Jory: (screaming) OH! SUCK IT! SUCK MY DICK- OH!
Jon: Oh, look at that thing BURN!
Jon: That's probably as good as you're gonna get, but that is pretty extraordinary.
Jory: Guys, now, let's go in and investigate!
*Riley and Ryan chuckle*
Jory: Let's do this! Why not?!
Riley: (to Ryan) Why don't you shoot it?
Jory: (to Ryan) Shoot it! Is it loaded?
Ryan: Not yet.
Riley: Ryan is our resident gun murderer!
Ryan: Unfortunately, I'm NOT. Trust me- I'm not a great shot!
Riley: Oh, my God! That looks terrifying!
Jon: That has been going for a LONG time!
Riley: Why hasn't it caught the rest of the gasoline?!
*Ryan cocks gun's trigger*
Ryan: Alright, we're hot!
Riley: Block your ears! Count 'em out, Ryan!
Ryan: 3... 2... 1...
*gun goes off*
Jon: Holy [beep]!
Riley: You missed!
Ryan: Reload!
*Ryan cocks trigger again*
Riley: (laughing; as Ryan) "I'll get this son of a bitch!"
*Ryan shoots gun again*
Jon: WHOO!
Jory: Oh, God!172 00:04:31,673 --> 00:04:33,67 Riley: (to Ryan) Can we try it?
Ryan: Yeah! It's loaded. It's good to go.
Ryan: (warning Riley) Don't, uh...
Jon: SERIOUSLY, this has been five minutes now! This is intense!
Ryan: ...don't pull the trigger yet.
Jory: (worried) Oh, God!
Jon: Eagle 20, Fox 2!
*Riley shoots gun at Shelley*
Riley: AW!
Jory: Can I try?
Jon: That thing is burning ALL of the microwaves now!
Jory: 3... 2... 1...
*Jory shoots at Shelley*
Riley: Oh, yeah!
Jon: Look at that [beep]in' thing!
Riley: You ready? Fire department, GO!
Jon: GO, GO, GO!
Jory: Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut!
Jon: WOW! That IS hot! I can feel it from here!
Riley: Fire, GO!
Jon: Riley, GO!
*Riley screams*
Jon: WHOO!
Jory: AW!
Ryan: Get the bottom. Get it down low.
Riley: (yelling) Where you goin', boy?! You a'int goin' NOWHERE!
Ryan: Get it down low!
Jory: Hey- we're gonna cross streams!
Jon: Holy [beep], that's a lot of vapor!
Jory: Aw, yeah!
Jory: (to Riley) Now kick it with me!
Ryan: Oh, you've still got one left.
*Riley screams*
*funeral montage music plays*
Jon: Look what you did!
Riley: GO, GO, GO!
Jory: Her name is Shelley.
Jory: She's a good girl, right?
Jon: (in raspy voice) Shelley the Smoker!
Jory and Riley: (disappointed at Listerine falling over) AW!
Jon: Secondhand smoke- two minutes!
*Ryan shoots at Shelley*
Jory: We didn't think this one through at ALL!
*Saturn missiles whistle*
Jon: That's a fun sound, huh?
*funeral montage music ends*
Jory: So, you're probably wondering if it's a good idea to create a show called "Is It a Good Idea to Microwave This?"
Jory: As you just saw, yes, it is!
Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave that stuff, specifically? No!
Jory: But yes, let's not kid ourselves- just don't try it at home, please!
Riley: Never!
Jon: It has been a blast!
Jory: It has been a pleasure to microwave things for your amusement.
Jory: I can speak on everyone's behalf here and say it has been phenomenal!
Jon: The best four years EVER?
Jory: Best four years EVER!
Jon: This seems like a fitting place as any to call it quits.
Jon: Jory, it has been an honor serving with you.
Jory: It's been an honor having you film me.
Jon: Riley? Thank you.
Riley: The pleasure's all yours.
Jory: So, that about does it for this SERIES. I'd cry, but my heart is beating too fast right now to cry.
Jory: It would shoot out straight. It would kill people!
I'm Jory Caron.
I'm, finally, Riley McIlwain.
And I'm Jonathan Paula. Thank you SO much for watching these past four years.
Jory: Riley? Jumping!
*extended version of end credits theme plays throughout cast montage*
*traditional end credits theme plays*
Jon: Oh, my God- that was so much fun!
*Click on episode #133 to see why Lexi's a zombie-freak! Uh, her name's JASMINE!*