Were such whores.
(laughing)
(funky intro music)
(upbeat vintage music)
(electric Try Guys intro music, could possibly be called dubstep?)
[Keith] Ready?
How’s the speed? Good?
Slower? Faster? - A little faster.
A little faster.
(laughing)
A little faster.
Could you slow down a little this time?
You’re gonna have to choose one of these cards.
(laughing)
Just choose!
Can you speed up again? Sorry.
Uh, I don’t, like,
There's, like, ten cards left, so.
Running out of cards.
Okay, I like that one.
This one.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay, man. Good.
We did a few each, and they picked.
[Zach] Oh, so the tattoos are already designed.
Oh, yeah. They're ready to go.
All you got to do is sit down and tattoo ‘em.
Easy!
(laughing) Yeah.
Paint by numbers sort of thing.
Have you ever taught somebody how to fly a plane
who didn't want to learn?
(laughing)
Rachel’s so excited.
I can feel her energy. It’s so creepy.
[Rachel] Stop!
(laughing)
Rachel, you came up with the speaker idea
and now she's obsessed with it.
She's like, I'm going to make sure they're in pain
and everyone's going to hear it.
Rachel, are you a sadist?
(moaning in pain)
Bye, Rachel! Bye, Rachel!
[Keith] Bye, Mom! [Zach] Bye, Mom!
[Rachel] Bye! (Kwesi laughing)
[Zach] Sneaking film equipment into Universal Studios is no small task.
Which is why Rachel is coming,
disguised as my very excitable tourist friend.
Like my mom, who also happens happens to be the same age as me.
[Rachel] I'm good at being on booger watch for messy toddlers.
So I got you.
Okay, good.
Rachel, I'm not crazy.
This painting is moving, right?
It’s moving.
No, no, Don't touch the art.
(screaming)
Go, Zach! Go, go, go!
Rachel!
(both cheering)
Yeah!
One of these other emails says
I need to go give Rachel a big old hug.
So let's go do it right now.
Get over here.
Well, because a fan told me I needed to.
Aw.
I'm driving a plane.
You're doing it.
(to Rachel) I can't imagine you’re going to let us take off and land.
Wait, are you out of your mind?
I told you not to put the boobs in.
I don’t have the boobs in.
Oh, damn.
Thanks a lot, Rachel.
Rachel thinks I'm wearing fake boobs.
(Rachel laughing)
How's that supposed to make me feel?
When I think M&Ms, I think,
“I'm sorry I'm late. I didn’t want to come.”
“You may call me Queen Bee.”
“Please don't make me do stuff.”
“My brain has too many tabs open.”
We're going to walk nude through a mall.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
This is going to be humiliating.
Only if we get caught. (train horn sounds in agreement)
(Cailyn and Jack laughing)
Sorry. There's a train that just went by.
And it shared the sh*t out of us.
Now, this skill sometimes needs to utilize garlic somehow.
(gasping)
Could you demonstrate how this skill
and talent utilizes garlic for me?
Get away, vampire!
I was gonna say the same thing!
Sorry!
Not if you’re a vampire, though.
It's like an Appalachian princess.
Come on down there.
Come on down here!
Let’s get together sometime!
You and me can have some catfish!
It was fun to take a big ole’ bite out of that
nougat nut shlong.
(Desiree laughing) Um.
I mean, come on.
I know. I know, I know, I know.
What am I supposed to do here?
I know.
It’s crazy looking.
Do you see the cod piece?
Come here.
Oh, look at your funny dick.
Yeah, bro.
Can I hit it?
It’s like a hacky sack.
I mean, I do feel that reverberate through my...
Can I touch your wiener sack?
Yeah, bro.
That’s really funny.
Again, I’m feeling everything that you're doing.
You know? I actually researched.
Mm hmm?
So “cod piece.”
Cod is slang, back in then,
for scrotum.
Huh!
Not the cock, it's the cod.
[Rachel] That’s just for the balls?
So it is just the balls!
I knew it!
I think it's for both, but it's just
the term “cod” is for the balls.
A sack for the sack!
[Zach] Um, this Barbie has a bulge.
Okay, way to brag.
[Keith] The testicles are just fully out.
(laughing)
I don’t know how to tell you this
other than “your testicles are just right there, bro.”
But I told you this...
[Keith] They’re right there!
This isn’t covering anything!
I don't know what I'm even going to do.
[Zach] Pineapple has vitamin C.
And as we've discussed,
eating pineapple makes...
...your c*m... [Rank King] No!
Okay, that's enough.
...taste good.
That’s enough!
(laughing)
We got to move on, all the c*m talk on this channel.
[Kwesi] The most important thing is
pineapple makes your c*m taste good!
No, no, no.
Order in my courtroom!
Your Honor, if I could.
There's only one pizza that makes s*men taste better.
Rachel's very upset.
We got to move on.
(laughing)
That just, like,
I had it in my hand guarding it.
And he just pulled it
right over where I was hiding it.
(all laughing)
In the funniest fashion possible.
(laughing)
Oh, just like that.
(moan-laughing?) Oh, fuck.
(moaning)
Are y'all laughing at me out there?
(all laughing)
Why? Why is everyone laughing?
Oh, I’m wet!
(laughing)
Should we turn this off for the office?
I feel like this is some sort of violation.
Yeah, I think so too! - I feel like a little bit.
(laughing)
(Eugene moaning again)
I feel like I'm learning too much about Eugene.
I don’t like it in here.
(laughing)
What? What?
I don’t like it in here.
It's a level of intimacy that I just don’t need.
Should I be screaming more?
Okay.
(laughing)
Moaning?
Truth...
Now I’m self-conscious! (laughing)
Oh, no, no!
[Keith] No, no. You're doing great.
Do you want more screaming?
No, be you. You be you.
No, am I moaning?
(laughing) [Keith] You be you.
Oh, no! - You be you.
You're already sweating!
Well, you said I was moaning!
And now I know that's why they're laughing at me out there!
No, they’re supportive laughing.
I thought they were laughing because it sounded funny.
They’re laughing with you!
They’re laughing ‘cause it sounds horny!
(laughing)
Oh, no!
Less pleasure, okay.
(still sexily) Ow.
(all laughing)
This is an unexpected left turn.
I thought I was going to be stoic.
I just wanted to be authentic.
Everyone's like, “Eugene's not going to make a sound”
“I bet you $3 he's not going to make a sound.”
(moaning again)
That’s so nice.
(soothing elevator music) (i guess unless you’re afraid of elevators)
Were people back then always fighting?
Were they...Elizabeefin’?
(laughing)
I feel hot.
No Cap...
...ulet.
(laughing)
[Rachel] Okay, let’s cut right there.
That’s all I need.
I just wanted to look my (with a lisp?) Elitha-betht.
(laughing)
Should we take our shirts off?
Miles, I don't think I've ever seen you shirtless!
That can't be true.
You’ve see me shirtless so many times.
When?
I've been here for five years, Zach.
I'm looking at you now.
I think this is the first time
I feel like I was nude...
What was I nude for?
[Rachel] You're making it look better than it did.
Better than what?
(laughing)
I shaved my whole chest and stomach the other day.
[Jonny] Sorry.
Sorry. I had to!
Don't worry.
The hole is unshaved.
Do you wanna look at my butt in sweatpants?
That’s besides the point.
I need a butt!
Oh.
Wow, that's more of the butt than I was expecting.
No, I feel like I'm getting too much of your gooch
to be honest.
(laughing)
That made it worse!
That made it way worse!
(laughing) Eugene, you can’t be here like this.
There's so much going on
that we’ve fully all forgotten about the dick pouch!
Oh, I hate it.
I don't like being in charge of this.
I don't want to hurt you.
(improving a blues song) ♪ But ♪
♪ I never explained the joke to anyone ♪
♪ It just sounded like I told a bunch of kids ♪
♪ to have oral sex with each other ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ Oral sex with each other ♪
♪ And somehow I didn't get fired ♪
♪ But that's because I think ♪
♪ They barely even paid me ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
(cheering and applause)
No, the wrists aren’t wide enough for my big man hands.
(imitating an old British lady) Hello!
Hello.
Hellooo!
You talk and I'll...
I'll make it seem like... no one will even know.
Does this look normal?
This one’s more sad.
Sad, extended whimpers.
[Keith] It really hurts!
I feel like we need to put the goat down, you know?
Can we?
(laughing)
Now it's...Oh, it's dinnertime.
(laughing) Okay!
Oh, this is the full meal I guess.
[Keith] It’s dinnertime?
It’s dinnertime?!
(laughing)
(Keith totally playing the clarinet amazingly well and not at all badly)
(seriously he’s so good at this)
(a true musical genius)
(laughs)
(Jack appreciating the musical genius)
You want me to do an accent?
Well, we’re fashionable European men.
Uh, table for three.
Me, my fashionable European friend,
and our silent American friend who doesn't speak.
I’ll do an accent.
Name a country.
Hit me with Belgium.
No can do.
(laughing)
(Belgian accent? i think?) Hello!
(Zach giggling)
We are getting waffles!
Hello! We are two men here for cheesecake!
We love cheesecake!
(funky outro music)
(boob plops onto ground)
My boob fell!
Oh, no, my boobs!
(screaming)