So you're going through a breakup. This is what I want you to know moving forward from
here. Hey, there it's clay with modern love.life. Now we're going to be talking about what you
need to know and what you need to understand as you're moving forward from a breakup. This
is actually really important. The first thing that I want you to know is that breakups can
be hard. They can be very difficult. I saw some sort of research recently that that ranks,
you know, the ending of a relationship breakup or divorce as, um, you know, one of the most
stressful things that a normal person is going to experience in their lifetime. You know,
of course there's other stressful things as well, too, like, you know, losing a parent,
being fired from a job, uh, having some sort of, you know, challenging medical issue, things
like that.
But, you know, going through a breakup is legitimately one of the most difficult things
that people commonly deal with in life. I mean, obviously there's super traumatic things.
Like if you come from a war zone or something like that, but, um, thankfully most people
don't have to deal with that in their regular life, but breakups definitely do rank up there
as a difficult thing. So with that being said, understand that you may be going through some
very difficult emotions and this may be a challenging thing for you. I know that, you
know, some people may try to downplay breakups and make you feel bad for feeling hurt or
heartbroken or whatever. Hopefully there's no in your life causing you to feel that way.
But, uh, if there
Is just know that, Hey, you know what, this is actually a big thing that I've gone through
and it's totally okay. It's totally
Understandable that I might have a lot of big emotions as the result of that. The second
thing that I want you to know after all of this is many times after a relationship
Falls apart, people feel
As if there's this, this sort of choice, this sort of decision, like, should I try to save
the relationship or should I just let it go? And, um, you know, you might feel compelled
to choose one path or the other based off of what happened based off of, um, you know,
your partner based off of your history and all of that sort of stuff. And either choice
is absolutely okay if you choose to just say, you know what, this relationship didn't work
out for me. I don't want to work this out. Uh, we have, we're just incompatible for whatever
reason that is
Absolutely. Okay. But I also want you to know that you can, if you want
To save your relationship. Um, so many times
People think that they literally cannot
Save their relationship. Like if a breakup happens that it's impossible to get back together.
I just
Want to make this abundantly clear. All that is required for two people to be
In a relationship with one another is for both of them to decide, to be in a relationship
with one another. That's it. And if you want to work things out with your partner then,
okay, that is one decision that's already made. All that's left is their decision. And
through much of the work that we have done on this channel and through our business,
modern
Love, we have helped a lot of people help their
Partner to change their mind about a breakup and get back together with them. This is something
that you can do. This is something that we've helped many do through pretty much every imaginable
situation. And if this is something you choose to do, then it is absolutely possible for
you to get back together with your ex. But with that being said, you know, right now
you need to focus on the most important thing, which is to find grounding within yourself,
find some sort of a balance within yourself. Because again, you have gone through a huge,
Uh, change in your life,
This breakup, I mean, no matter how this shakes out, whether you get back together with you,
don't get back together, whatever you're going through a major stressful event in your life.
Many times, people coming out of a relationship going
Through a breakup are in what we would call damage
Control mode. You know, they feel this sort of intense, emotional panic, or maybe they
feel okay for one minute and then panic the next minute, ask me how I know that you might
feel that way. I I've been there myself. You might get some sort of news about your ex.
You might find out that they're dating, that they put up an online profile that they're
saying nasty things about you, whatever, and it just causes your stomach to just drop.
It causes you to feel like, oh my goodness, why are they doing this? Maybe you're, you
know, keeping tabs on everything that they're doing every like that they're liking on, on
social media, every person that they're following or friending or whatever, uh, who is, who
is that person's arm around their, their, their shoulder
In that last photo, that's conveniently cropped out. What does that mean? I don't know.
And I want you to take your focus
Off of all of those things and put them on you because that is where you
Need to put your focus right now, especially if you are in damage control mode. Um, I know
that it doesn't feel intuitive. I know it feels that you should be focusing on what
they're doing, what they're saying, what they're posting, what they're not posting, why it
took them four hours to respond to that last text message, uh, why they just responded
to the other one with just one, a one word, reply, all that sort of stuff, but just keep
in mind that as long as you are not centered, as long as you are in a place of emotional
chaos, uh, what we call damage control mode, um, then you are going to put yourself in
a place where you're not going to be able to act in a positive, intentional sort of
way moving forward. And I know that you're interested in living an intentional life.
I know that you're interested in authentic, genuine heart centered relationships. So please
make sure that you do yourself a huge service here by drawing your attention and energy
inward first, to find your own grounding before you start to move forward and do certain things,
whether that's trying to get back together with your ex or trying to date someone else
or something like that, if you don't get the internal stuff figured out, you run a very
high risk of maybe ending up in some sort of rebound relationship that just flops. And
then you feel heartbroken all over again. Or maybe you end up doing something or saying
something that you later regret or, um, is like, so out of character that it makes, uh,
the, the gap between you and your partner. Uh, just, just seems so much more, uh, more
challenging to overcome. So
Please, I know that it, it
Feels as if you need to go out there and do something, say something, watch what they're
doing, analyze what they're doing. Look for hidden signs that they're feeling this way,
that they miss you too, or whatever.
Don't do that. Please, please take the time that you
Need to, to draw your energy in word, find your own center, find your grounding, doing
emotional healing that you need to do before you go forward and do anything drastic or
choose whatever path makes the most sense for you moving forward from here. And lastly,
If you do choose to move
Forward and, um, you know, get back together with your ex or, or, or, or even date someone
else, um, you really want to focus on having a good high quality connections. Now it's
totally okay if you just want to be single for a while. I know that generally speaking,
um, most cultures around the world tend to look down on single people and think that,
Hey, if you're single, you must want to be in a relationship. You need to be in a relationship.
There's something wrong with you. If you're not in a relationship, that's not what I believe.
I think it's totally fine for you to be single if that's what makes the most sense for you.
But if you do choose to either get back together with your ex or to, uh, you know, take your
life in another direction and to, you know, date someone else, it is super important that
you focus on the emotional connection that you're having with any potential partner.
We want to make sure that we are connecting on a deep, emotional level, because the stronger,
the emotional connection that you have, the, the, the more you'll be able to pull through
the challenges that lay ahead. Now, many times people coming out of a breakup,
Um, may feel compelled
To get into a rebound relationship. Now we've found relationships can happen with someone
new someone you just met on some dating app or whatever, or you could actually get back
together with your ex and it could be a rebound relationship because you never actually resolved
a lot of the issues and connection problems and challenges that you had in the first place.
And you're just getting back together out of, you know, lust or, um, convenience or
something like that. And that's just a setup for repeating the same patterns in the past.
So it's really super important that you focus on high quality, emotional connections, and
that is where advanced relational skills come into play. So what I'd like you to do next
is I'd like you to check out this video series right here on advanced relational skills to
help you make better connections with your partner.