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- Hi, everyone, I'm Dr. Nicole Assisi,
and I am here today with my colleague Shelli Kurth
in our next installment on "How to Stay Sane
"in These Times of Unprecedented Parenting."
- Together, Nicole and I have over 30 years
of working in education as teachers and as leaders,
but our most important job, and our favorite,
is we are working parents.
So we are now actually homeschooling parents
trying to juggle work and family all at once.
Our goals for these weekly sessions are to provide you
with tools and resources to keep your learner thriving
and to keep you sane.
- Indeed, and on that note, congratulations.
You have made it through yet another week
of homeschooling and distance learning.
Give yourself some kudos for that.
For some of you, it's been easier, for some of us, harder.
But hopefully we'll give you some practical tips today
on how to make those weeks even more harmonious and sane.
And part of what we'll talk about today
is building routines and schedules.
And more specifically, we'll talk about keeping routines,
managing school time, and give you some ideas
for how to structure your days
so that screen time isn't your only go-to.
Though in these days, definitely an acceptable go-to.
Let's not be hard on ourselves.
So we'll talk about some fun ideas.
And to kick us off, let's talk about routines, Shelli.
- Probably the best way to make your days go smoother
is to establish a routine.
This might mean waking up at the same time every day,
going to bed at the same time every day.
This'll make things easier on you,
and much easier when things go back to normal
and your child returns to school.
Keeping a routine is the best way to make days feel shorter.
It provides a little bit more structure,
and it just will go more smoothly.
But remember, be flexible.
You're gonna have to be flexible.
You're not going to be able to follow this same schedule
exactly to a tee every day
because things come up.
Be easy on yourself, just remember, establish a routine,
but be flexible with it as needed.
Make sure you give your kids some autonomy in scheduling.
It's a long day for them, too.
Make sure that they have some choices
and that they feel some ownership of the way
that the day is going.
Brainstorm some fun things to fill time with.
I have some friends who have a big jar of ideas,
and they add ideas to the jars whenever they think of 'em,
and their kids pull out an idea whenever they're feeling
like there's nothing to do or if they have some free time.
Little kids like a menu of choices.
That's a great idea, too.
Write down some choices of things they can do
and they can choose from that menu.
Don't forget to add in your routines, the daily things
that we have to do like cooking, laundry,
cleaning your room, all of those things.
That's part of your day and can be part of the routine.
Make sure you have lots of breaks, lots of downtime.
Here's my daughter's routine and her schedule
that we go through in the day.
She has something called me time,
where she gets to do whatever she wants.
So one thing I am not afraid of, and I encourage you
to not be afraid of, is letting your kids
get bored sometimes, it's okay.
The struggle is real, especially because we have our kids
so scheduled most of the time.
But from boredom, some amazing things can blossom.
You will see your children starting to get creative.
Ingenuity will really bloom if you give some downtime
and maybe give them a little chance
to be bored now and then.
One of the things also that I like to do
is to give myself three priorities in a day.
Our family puts sticky notes and we write down three things
that we really wanna get done each day.
Here is mine for the day.
This is Elsa's, too.
Hey, three things is pretty easy to accomplish,
so we always have a reason to celebrate,
and we always feel productive and successful.
I think in these days where things feel looser than normal,
having some priorities and writing down what you wanna do
can be really effective.
And be sure to model some self care in those priority lists.
I think that it's important that we give our kids
the chance to take care of themselves and that we model that
by naming that it's important
that we take care of ourselves, too.
There's a lot of things that we can throw in
and put into our routines each day, and we're gonna dig in
and talk about a little bit more in detail.
Nicole?
- Yeah, let's actually start with school schedules.
I think by now we have all had a moment of going,
my child's teacher is a saint.
Because they do this five days a week,
180 days a year, with about 25 or more students.
And here we are one, two, three, maybe four kids.
It's hard.
Hopefully, like some of my friends, you've had a moment
of going, wow, my kid just learned so much.
I'm doing a really great job.
Because you really are.
And in those moments, extend some grace
to your child's teacher, because sometimes working
one on one can be easier in terms
of the amount of work that you can get done.
It can sometimes also be more challenging
because you don't have a peer group to rely on.
But what you're not trying to do is recreate
a seven-hour school day.
Maybe by this time your school
has sent you some work to complete.
As you look at that list, we wanna share some research
with you from what recommended times are in terms
of how much time you should be spending on schoolwork.
60 minutes for Pre-K, 90 minutes for kindergarten
to second grade, about 120 minutes for upper elementary.
Middle school, about 180.
And for high school, it's 270 minutes.
Now, during that time, don't try to boil the ocean.
Our State Superintendent of Public Instruction
actually has said that he will, quote, hold kids harmless.
What that means is that students will not be punished
or have negative impacts on their grades
or on their graduation based on what they can
and cannot get done during this time of quarantine.
That means make the most of it.
Leverage learning opportunities and moments,
but also be gentle with yourself and with your family.
Times at home can create a lot of stress.
It is hard to be a teacher,
especially if you've never had the experience of teaching.
So here are a couple of things to think about,
especially if you have a younger student.
You just saw a minute ago Shelli's older child's schedule.
She was able to write that by herself.
My son is in kindergarten.
I created a visual schedule so that David
can navigate his schedule as he goes through the day.
That way if I have to pick up a phone call
for work or something else happens,
he's not totally stopped in his tracks.
He can look at his visual schedule,
he can figure out something else to do.
In our house, he's allowed to move through that schedule
in any order he wants to, but he can always
look for the pictures and get some things done.
So that's just another idea to make the list
a little easier on you so that you don't feel
like you have to be on and teaching the whole entire time.
Share that list with your kids.
- One of the things that I think is important
to put into your routine is exercise.
Exercise, it's so important for health, for mood, for focus,
which is actually even more important right now.
Keeping ourselves healthy and strong
will help us get through this sanely.
So how are you supposed to get exercise
when you're stuck at home?
It's the big question, right?
Well, some of us are lucky enough to live in an environment
where we can and still are allowed to go outside,
take a walk around the block, take a bike ride,
so long as we're keeping socially distance.
So take advantage.
If you have the weather and you have the place
that you can do that, make sure you take advantage of that.
But if you can't, and I know there are a lot of people
who cannot do that, there are lots of online options.
For kids there is Cosmic Kids Yoga, there is GoNoodle.
Some of my favorites.
And for adults and kids, there are a plethora
of free options right now.
Coaches and trainers and gyms have been so generous
in offering their services.
I know Planet Fitness is doing that.
CorePower Yoga is doing that.
Fitness Blender is offering free things,
and many instructors on their YouTube channels.
It makes it easy to do that exercise at home.
But I don't always wanna be on the screen,
and so we do silly things that don't require a screen
and don't even require a lot of space.
We have dance parties.
So we play the freeze dance where I turn the music
on and often we dance like crazy when it's on
and freeze when it's off.
We have balloon volleyball games
which is always a crowd favorite.
And my favorite thing, and we actually do this every day,
is we have a challenge game where we challenge each other
to how many push-ups or how many sit-ups
we can do in a minute,
or how many jumping jacks in three minutes.
Have fun with it, get our bodies moving.
If our bodies are moving, our brains are healthier.
That body-brain connection is so important,
and perhaps even more important right now
when we're feeling anxious inside.
Get out, get moving.
- So just like you want to exercise
sort of your physical body,
you need to exercise your mental body.
And maybe this is the time where your child
will finally fall in love with reading.
We know that reading's been on the decline
due to technology, but research still shows that reading
is the number one skill and success indicator
for kids getting into college
and being successful in college.
So how do you build a reading habit?
How do you even access books
when you sometimes can't leave your house?
Our favorite resource, if you have not
stumbled upon it, is Libby.
Now, Libby is the online library system.
You can download both audiobooks and digital books.
And research actually shows that the retention
of audio books and written books that you read
is almost equivalent.
So great way to get access to some books is through Libby.
As you look at books for your child,
don't dismiss graphic novels.
There's really great reading, it builds the habit,
it builds the muscle of reading.
And for younger students, one of the resources that I use
that I really love is Story Online.
It is actors from the Screen Actors Guild
coming and reading their favorite children's story.
So not only do they sort of show you the book
that they're reading, but the voiceover is just phenomenal
and a really, really great tool, so stay reading.
Another fun idea could be to network
with some of your child's friend
and do some reader's theater.
What that is is that you pick a book,
and students read different sections of a book,
take on different characters and read it together.
My son's school is actually reading "Harry Potter"
and so they call it the Hogwarts Acting School,
and every Wednesday, they get online
and they read "Harry Potter."
So much fun, find a way to fall in love with books.
Snuggle up with a blanket, get cozy and read, read, read.
- Building that reading into your routines
and your schedules is so important.
And I think, equally important, and reading helps with this,
turn off the screens at some point during your day.
Turn off the news.
All that disruption that's happening right now
makes it frightening, gives anxiety
and anxiousness to a lot of people.
And those screens are often, and the news is often
filled with terrible things we don't always wanna hear.
So make time where all those screens are off
and you're just communicating with your kiddo.
Give them opportunities to talk about
whatever's on their mind.
And I like to ask some open-ended questions.
I think it's the best way to get my kids talking.
Some of the questions that I think are really fun to ask
are things like what made you laugh out loud today.
And then I have to remember to let them answer
and have no judgment, because sometimes I want them
to say something specific, and they won't.
You know, I have a teenager.
So just remember, listen without judgment
and ask those open-ended questions.
Turn off the TV and have time to connect and communicate
that feels real and isn't filled
with all of the bad news of the day.
- You know, our lives are busy, so sometimes connecting
can feel awkward at first.
Maybe before you were used to getting home
right before bedtime, or maybe sometimes
you made it home for dinner.
And now you have more time.
And that time can be both stressful,
but it can also be a gift.
So some ways to turn that time into a gift
is to think of some fun and silly things to do.
And the burden of coming up with those things
does not need to solely rest on your shoulders.
Even our youngest learners can help and brainstorm
fun things for the family to do.
And that can range from fun art projects,
to cooking something fun and getting creative.
It can be learning a new hobby.
Maybe you had a dream of always traveling to France,
and maybe you wanna learn French.
Do something fun.
And to bring it all together, we've actually linked for you
this document that you can see right here
that lets you put your whole schedule together.
You sort of have the blocks of times that have to happen.
You give some structure, and you create some choice.
And you create a list of things that you wanna do.
Finish that puzzle that's been sitting in your closet.
Put together LEGOS.
Maybe you wanna do an art project.
List them out so that you don't need to always
come up with it on the spot.
Shelli was talking about a jar that has ideas in it.
Also a really great way.
List on there connecting with grandparents.
Maybe this is the time to teach them to use Zoom
or find some other tools to connect with folks.
But just try to find some joy, try to find ways
that you can see the time as a gift.
Because while we don't wanna get too ambitious,
we wanna make the most of the time
that we have with our families.
So again, if you watched our first video,
Shelli had to start by sort of taking a breath.
And that's really important,
because when we forget to breathe, we create more anxiety,
and so breathe and pause and try to find some fun things
and fun ways to connect with your family.
- I love that we just took a breath, because I think
maybe the thing I want you to remember most of all from this
is to try easy and give yourself grace.
Social media feeds right now are filled up
with parents doing amazing creative things
with their kids, projects, experiments.
I've even seen parents teaching their kids to quilt.
And that is amazing, and I am so proud of parents
who are doing that, and so glad that they are having
the time and energy and resources to do that.
But that is not all of our families,
and you have to remember,
do what's right for you and your family.
Don't get into that Pinterest mindset
where you feel like it has to be the most creative things,
or that you're trying to compete
with that person on social media.
Remember, take this time, make it yours.
Do what fits for your life.
And remember, just create a flexible routine
and just try to stick with it.
But you might not get to.
But create it and cross your fingers
that you can stick with it a little bit.
Manage your day by prioritizing
and including a lot of fun things in there.
Make time to communicate and connect, and try easy.
Be easy on yourself, give yourself grace.
These are strange times indeed, so I think that if we all
give each other a break and remind ourselves
to give ourselves a break, we're all in this together.
- Thanks, everyone, for joining us.
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