-Today, President Biden proposed two debates
against Donald Trump, and Trump immediately accepted.
Meanwhile, a bunch of MAGA weirdos
and wannabe running mates traveled to New York
to appear with Trump at his criminal trial.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪
For some reason,
Trump thinks it will work to his advantage
to debate Joe Biden on national television,
despite the fact that when they debated in 2020,
it was an embarrassing cluster[bleep]
in which Trump behaved like a coked-up
raccoon trapped in a porta-potty at Coachella.
-They will, under my proposal. -That's not what you said and
it's not what your party is saying.
-And so we have to be engaged.
-That's not what they're talking about, Chris.
-We have the highest trade deficit with Mexico.
-China ate your lunch. Down 18%
China ate your lunch, Joe.
-He said, "Maybe we should drop a nuclear weapon on them."
-I never said that.
-Antifa is an idea, not an organization.
-Oh, you got to be kidding me.
-If he'd just stay out of the way.
Look here -- -Oh, really? Oh, really?
-This guy -- -I want to see honest ballot...
-He's just afraid of counting the votes --
-You're wrong. You're wrong.
-No, I want to continue with you on this,
Vice President Biden, because --
-Chris, he's so wrong when he makes a statement like that.
You didn't want me to ban Europe,
which was heavily --
You would have been much later, Joe.
-Mr. President -- -Much later.
-Sir, you're debating him, not me.
Let me ask my question. -Well, I'll ask Joe.
The individual...
-Hey, Mr. President, Mr. President, please stop.
No, no. Go ahead. No, no. Mr. President --
-3 1/2 million, Joe. -No, no, no.
Sir, stop. Wait a minute.
Mr. President... No, Mr. President.
No. -Can I be honest?
It's a very important -- -Try to be honest.
-No. The answer to the question is "No."
-Trump thinks that made him look good.
The only context in which that behavior makes sense
is in a commercial for a drink called
Act Like a Monster Energy.
Even Mike Lindell saw that was like, "Whoa, you sound crazy!"
The moderator of a nationally televised debate
had to yell "no" at the sitting president,
like a flight attendant telling a drunk passenger
he can't go in the cockpit.
"No, you cannot go in there." "But I needed a bathroom."
"Sir, that is not a bathroom. That is the cockpit."
"Yeah, but I need a bathroom real bad."
"The bathrooms are occupied, and you need to wait."
"Should I go to the bathroom in the cockpit?"
"No!"
So Trump thinks repeating that performance
is the key to winning in November.
By the way, I'm not going to sit here
and pretend Joe Biden is in tip-top shape either.
This is when you really wish there was a way
Obama could tap in for Joe at the debates,
maybe do it like one of those surprise wrestling appearances
where he walks in to loud music and pyro,
and then Trump makes a shocked face,
like one of those Vince McMahon memes.
Obama would do that move where he starts writing something
while Trump was answering, and Trump would lose his mind.
"What are you writing?
Are you writing something about something I said?
Is he allowed to write while I'm talking?
Shouldn't he be listening?"
"Oh, I can listen and write at the same time."
"Oh, you can? I don't know how to do that.
Uh, this is bad."
So, is Biden a debate all-star? No, he's not.
Every time he answers a question,
I'm going to white-knuckle my armchair
like I'm watching Tom Cruise ride a motorcycle off a cliff.
Because I don't know if you guys know this.
He does his own stunts.
But even with the occasional slip-up from Biden,
there's still no comparison.
Trump is a snarling psycho who,
just last weekend, at a New Jersey rally,
referred to Hannibal Lecter as
"the late, great Hannibal Lecter."
So he both likes Hannibal Lecter and also thinks he's dead,
despite the fact that he's both not dead,
not real, and also a very bad guy.
Although, who knows with Trump?
Maybe he was using "late" not to mean dead,
but to mean "not here yet."
"The late, great Hannibal Lecter,
who was supposed to be here today.
He's probably -- Probably got caught in turnpike traffic.
I'll tell you this, though.
If Hannibal honks, you don't give him the finger,
because he'll bite it right off.
He'll bite your finger right off."
He's a dear friend."
So watching these two square off
isn't exactly going to be Ali versus Frazier.
It's going to be more like watching your grandpa try
to catch an alligator in a garbage can.
And, if at all possible,
we probably shouldn't air it internationally.
I feel like other countries are going to watch this
and say, "They have 330 million people, right?
I don't know. It's just -- just weird that it's those two."
But the contrast Biden will benefit from onstage
is that he's normal for his age,
and Trump is not normal for any age.
Like, what's a good age for a kid to think
Hannibal Lecter is real, dead, and a cool dude?
Also, you'd think a guy facing four
separate criminal indictments, who attempted a coup,
got impeached twice, oversaw a net job loss,
and a spike in crime,
cheated on his wife with a porn star,
and left the nation in crisis after letting a pandemic spiral
out of control would want to avoid a debate.
Hell, if I so much as did one of those things,
I would want to avoid ever being seen in public again.
The only thing I've ever paid hush money
to cover up is my college haircut.
But I guess not enough hush money.
[ Cheers and applause ] Oh, no.
Oh, let me tell you something. Oh, 'cause guess what.
All jokes aside, what I wouldn't give to have you back, baby.
Where'd you go, baby? Where'd you go?
And, yet, Trump has been obsessed with debating Biden.
-Former President Trump is calling for debates
with President Biden ahead of the general election.
He posted this on Truth Social.
"Anytime, anywhere, anyplace!6"
-How many debates would you commit to?
-As many as necessary.
I would like to do it starting now.
I'm calling on Crooked Joe to debate anytime, anyplace.
We'll do it anywhere you want, Joe.
I've invited Biden to debate. He can do it anytime he wants.
-It's really quite something to challenge your opponent
to a debate anytime, anywhere, anyplace
while you're standing behind barricades
at a mandatory court appearance for your criminal trial.
You sure you got that much flexibility in your schedule,
bro?
"I challenge Crooked Joe to a debate
anytime between 12:00 and 12:45 p.m.,
when we have our lunch break.
Also, I challenge Joe to bring me a meatball sub
because the food here stinks."
Trump is so thirsty for a debate,
he even brought an empty podium to a rally
to dare Biden to join him.
-We have an empty podium right here to my right.
Do you know what that is? That's for Joe Biden.
I'm trying to get him to debate.
-I like that Trump's gimmick is an empty podium like that's
somehow going to work on Joe Biden.
The only person that would work on would be Donald Trump.
I bet we could just get rid of him
forever by putting an empty podium out in the woods
with a bunch of cameras pointed at it.
Trump tried a bunch of silly gimmicks,
but in the end, it was clearly Biden who came out ahead here.
He got everything he wanted. They even reportedly agreed
that no audience would be present at the debate.
I don't need to tell you that Trump thrives
when he's screaming over a live audience.
Biden getting Trump to agree to no audiences
is like getting a vampire to agree to fight you at noon
on the beach during the Garlic Festival.
But Trump doesn't seem to care.
He wants it so bad, so bad that, at one point,
Trump even invited Biden down to the courthouse
to debate him at his criminal trial.
-I've invited Biden to debate.
He can do it anytime he wants, including tonight.
I'm ready. Here we are. I invited him to the courthouse.
-Maybe you could have gotten Biden to come
if you let him sit on the jury.
Biden seems like the kind of guy who would jump
at the chance to sit on a jury.
This is the same guy who sat behind Obama
at the State of the Union
and acted like he was Frankie Valli in Atlantic City.
He's doing the most mundane procedural [bleep] there is,
and he looks like he just completed
his third ride on Kingda Ka.
He loved jury duty. Seriously, though,
you really expect Biden to come down to the courthouse?
Only a truly pathetic loser with nothing better to do
would fly to New York for the sole purpose
of joining Donald Trump at his criminal trial
for paying hush money to a porn star.
-Donald Trump's allies were out in force
today at the courthouse in downtown Manhattan.
Speaker of the House Mike Johnson
making an appearance, as well.
-It's a show of support for Donald Trump.
Republicans vying to be his running mate turned out in force
at his trial today.
They even seem to have coordinated their outfits --
dark suit, white shirt, red tie.
-Michael Cohen, who has no credibility,
who has purged himself multiple times,
who has zero integrity, has actually admitted
to defrauding the Trump Organization.
-Why are they all dressed the same?
Did their luggage get lost And they all bought
the same Donald Trump costume from Spirit Halloween?
Showing up to work wearing the same thing as your co-workers
is everyone's nightmare.
Of course, if you see it on Instagram,
they pretend to love it.
These guys should have posted a pic that said, "Lol, twinsies!"
So, Biden showed some impressive self-restraint
and ignored Trump's irresistible offer to join him
at the Manhattan courthouse, but then, today,
Biden issued his own debate invitation to Trump
with a video that also mocked the fact
that Trump's criminal trial is not in session on Wednesdays.
-Donald Trump lost two debates to me in 2020,
and since then, he hasn't shown up for a debate.
Now he's acting like he wants to debate me again.
Well, make my day, pal.
I'll even do it twice. So let's pick the dates, Donald.
I hear you're free on Wednesdays.
-Well, joke's on you, Joe.
He's actually not free on Wednesdays,
because that's when he preps for his other criminal trials.
Trump then immediately jumped to accept that invitation
with a weird line that I guess was supposed to be a zinger.
-Former President Trump spoke with Brooke Singman
at Fox News Digital exclusively, and here's what he said.
"Crooked Joe Biden is the worst debater I have ever faced.
He can't put two sentences together."
He said, "The dates in June and early September
are fully acceptable to me.
I will provide my own transportation."
-"I hear you're free on Wednesdays."
"I'll provide my own transportation."
This is like a production of "Bring It On"
at a men's-only old-age home.
I'm so glad you guys are having so much fun with this,
because I'm losing my [bleep] here.
Joe Biden may not be the most gifted debater in history,
but he has the advantage of standing onstage
next to a man who is fundamentally incapable
of behaving like a normal human being.
When he's outside the confines of one of his rallies,
Trump's behavior is very obviously off-putting and weird.
The only way Trump can avoid embarrassing himself is
if his team replaces him with...
-An empty podium.
-This has been "A Closer Look."