Hiya! Nos Hyena here! Now if you want to feel energized, inspired,
uplifted and motivated, well don't do what I did and look at one of those
videos about teenage millionaires. Trust me, it doesn't make you feel very good
about where you are, especially if you're older than these teenage millionaires.
Here I was at 24, feeling pretty proud of my accomplishments.
"Dude dude, Jacksfilms commented on my post, what the f-"
Jacksfilms noticed me, so that's pretty cool.
I'm doing well, Jacksfilms noticed me on YouTube.
Oh yeah, one large cheese-
But then I looked at one of those videos, and boy did I not feel like I'm doing enough for my age.
(memes)
Let's have a look at some of these videos, okay?
"So I was 18 years old when I made my first million dollars. It
felt pretty great, did toward some Lamborghinis."
He's 18 and he's a millionaire and he has a Lamborghini.
At the age of 18, I was sexually confused,
I woke polo shirts because I thought they looked cool, and I had a bank
account balance of three figures, which is better than I'm doing right now.
"Support my Patreon!"
So this makes me feel great!
"You got a lot of beds here"
A lot of beds? This is my dude.
(sensual music)
"I check my Bitcoin every 30 minutes, so
I get a notification like, of the price."
I check my Twitter DMs every 30 minutes
hoping my fursuit crush replies. I don't get results like him.
"She had an extra thousand dollars to give her kids for a scholarship fund.
I put that a thousand dollars into Bitcoin
So I was able to amass about 400 plus bitcoins, so there you go."
Knowing my luck if I was given a sum of money like that,
I probably would have put it into like Enron stocks, or Bitcoin one month ago.
Crowd: Ohh!
So I left, I dropped out when I was 15, and I went to start an education company.
Okay it's hard not to be jealous at this kid.
He's a teenager, he has millions of dollars, he's living the life you know.
Anyway that's enough of that video.
I'm gonna show you the main course of teenage millionaire jealousy,
which is a video made by The Wacky called, "20 Self-Made Teenage Millionaires".
From a fourteen-year-old boy selling homemade jam, to a university student that came up
with a popular computer game, we count 20 self-made teenage millionaires.
I'm already getting huge streams of insecurity here, it's like
these teenagers are millionaires, they're worth so much money.
When I was a teenager I was liking
art on FurAffinity with throwaway accounts, so
makes me feel good about what I've been doing.
"Frasier Doherty. Frasier Doherty began at the age of 14
using his grandmother's recipes to make homemade jam. Business picked up so well
that he dropped out of school to work full-time, and in 2009, Frasier had one
point two million dollars in sales."
You could say I'm pretty jelly of that guy.
Get it? Cos in New Zealand they call jelly jam? Please keep watching!
Ashley Qualls. In 2004, 14 year old Ashley Qualls launched whateverlife.com
She began offering free custom MySpace layouts to fellow classmates.
Her site began to explode with visitors seeking cool designs to personalize their social network page.
Which since has made Ashley millions of dollars."
Ashley is a MySpace millionaire. All I did on MySpace was share chain emails so that
a killer clown wouldn't come from under my bed and kill me in my sleep.
Not all of us can be as bright and as wonderful as you, Ashley.
Okay, I saw like, two of these, I can't do this anymore so-
I can't be the only one that's feeling
insecure after watching these videos. Let's have a look at some of these comments.
Bryce E: fancy tie. "Anyone else feel like shit after watching this?"
Maybe not shit, maybe like mud, on like a soccer pitch on a rainy day.
Sigfee: "this video should be titled how to feel like a failure."
Yeah you see all of these teenagers making bajillions of dollars, makes the
rest of us teenagers look bad, wait I'm not a teenager anymore.
Zack Aild says: "This video made me feel like a worthless piece of crap."
Gabriel says wow I feel like I'm nowhere in life.
You know what Gabriel? Zach? SigFee? Other person?
It's time that we stop feeling bad by these so called self-made teenage millionaires.
I'm gonna make a video that makes us feel better. Not everyone is successful
at nineteen or twenty four.
So what I did is I commissioned a video by
someone on Craigslist that celebrates some of the less successful young people
out there in the world. So I hope you enjoy.
Scorch: "Not all of us can be successful before we're 25.
For this video, we're counting down the five least successful young people.
Number Five: Nos Hyena. A cringy content creator who hasn't
learned how to shave properly, he lost all his money to a pyramid scheme that
he signed up for five times."
Okay I guess it was cool that they put me in the video, I mean,
We can all laugh at our past, right?
"Number Four: Nos Hyena. He makes fun of the Paul
brothers, but was actually spotted outside the teen ten house, holding a
sign saying, 'Jake is my mate, please notice me senpai, UwU.'"
Okay that's pretty funny video editing guy. I guess they're all gonna be about me right?
"Number three: Nos Hyena. Insecure about his manhood, ten times a day, he
Googles how to enlarge his-"
Okay, we're gonna skip some of that video?
"Number two: Nos Hyena. He does this when no one's looking."
Okay that is just totally a breach of privacy. That was a private
file on my computer. I have no idea how they found it, I definitely didn't
give it to them.
"Number One: Nos Hyena. Cries himself
to sleep, longing for his fursuit crush."
Okay, how did he get that footage?
He probably broke into my house so I might
have to stop watching this video now, and check my house for cameras.
Well I hope that video made you feel better. At least you don't have a creepy person on
Craigslist that's now watching your every move by hacking into all your
electronics. Anyways thank you everyone for watching, big shout out to my super
secret patrons. Y'all rock, and I will catch you all next time!
Yay! Biya!
"Thank you so much for watching the five least successful young people. Doesn't
that make you feel better about yourself? Cos I know it makes me feel better
about myself.