Welcome back to games you might not have tried and oh-ho, boy do we have a show for you!
It will boggle the mind and baffle the senses.
It's gonna be a flavor explosion.
Which, you know, doesn't really make sense because this is on YouTube
and that would probably taste gross but you get what I'm going for.
Keep in mind though while, all of the games on this list aren't necessarily good,
each of them have an aspect of game design we're pretty sure you've never seen before.
So are you ready?
You're not ready.
TOO LATE!
GET READY.
*intro music*
*Matt singing intro*
*Matt imitates guitar screech*
And we start things off
*exciting music*
With Madden NFL
You know, I still can't believe this little-known gem has flown under the radar for nearly 30 years.
Taking its inspiration from Blood Bowl, this game boldly asks the question:
"What if Blood Bowl didn't have cool stuff in it?"
If you're looking for a massive sprawling RPG about carrying a ball across a field,
Madden's got you covered.
It brings to life the work, the human drama, and the franchise value
of moving an otherwise useless oblong object across 360 ft of grass
in the most inefficient way possible. And while many have asked
"Why don't they just drive the ball to the other side of the field?",
this game bravely challenges us with a Sisyphean mirror to modern life.
The endless moving ball is us. The struggle to make it forward, only to be pushed back is our struggle.
And at the end when the ball is finally where we want it to go,
All we get to do is a little dance before we have to start it all over again
*smtg in french*
So if you are looking for something like Blood Bowl, just without all the Lich's chainsaws or ultraviolence,
but that's also a brutal and accurate analogy of 21st century life, you could do worse than this indie gem.
*music*
World of Warcraft.
Built originally as a place to store memes,
*character yelling in a barbaric voice*
Player: oh my gawd he just ran in
World of Warcraft has transformed over the years into a slightly emptier place to store memes
that slightly fewer people will get.
In this game, you can make bars go up, make other bars go up,
make bars go down, and unlock new bars to make go up and down.
So if you're in the market for a moving bar simulator that you can consistently debate
about how it used to be a better moving bar simulator each year,
this one has a pedigree like no other.
And actually, please leave a comment below
telling us which up-down bar is your favorite.
*exciting music*
Forknife.
Tell me something. Are you looking for a free game to give your kids
that will cost you more money than you ever expected?
Then grab your two favorite utensils and dig in!
Based on the 1999 Japanese novel about junior high school students killing each other,
Forknife is a faithful recreation of the junior high school students killing each other, brand.
While it does excise all of the satire and political commentary of the original,
it instead provides us with colorful outfits, and appropriated dances!
Apex Legends.
Okay, first picture forknife. Is it in your mind? Great.
Now picture forknife that should have mechs, but without the mechs.
*Matt makes explosion noise*
Mind blown.
Seriously though, for you designers out there, It's worth looking at these two side-by-side
because the differences are illuminating.
*energetic music*
Zelda, Wand of Gamelon
Universally acknowledged as the best Zelda game,
this blast from the past is one all true Nintendo fans should relish.
Flipping the traditional story on its head and letting you finally play as the titular Zelda to rescue Link,
this beautifully executed and exquisitely rendered Zelda game pays homage to the beloved classic of the series:
"Zelda The Adventures of Link" with its bold side-scrolling style
In fact, this entry into the series is perhaps only bested by the rare and hard to acquire, Zelda's adventure,
which brought the franchise the one innovation almost every fan thought it needed:
Live. Action. Cutscenes.
So do yourself a favor and pick up both of these gems wherever the CDI is sold.
*music*
Magic the Gathering: Arena.
Or as it's more widely known: how to print money on paper without the government coming after you.
Now without the paper.
Magic Online has been around forever. But here is the slicker glossier version that'll have you saying
"*yawn* just um, one more draft" at 3 a.m when you've got class in the morning.
Wanna play an elf wizard lizard, or stomp face with a fish octopus crab.
Arena has always got you covered.
Also, it has to be mentioned that this game comes fully featured with six, count'em, uhh oh five different emotes.
None of which lets you sympathize with an opponent who's getting mana screwed.
*energetic music*
Rocket League.
Inspired by Blood Bowl International Edition, this game's design asks the question:
"How can we get Americans to like what the rest of the world calls football?"
Containing less blood and somewhat smaller figures than the American version,
This was considered a great leap of game-design faith until someone at psionics stood up and said:
"Cars. Americans LOVE cars."
And for any of you designers out there, this game demonstrates the golden rule of game design:
Add. cars. To everything.
Final Fantasy, but with cars? Yeah, I'll buy it. Life is Strange, but about cars? Sign me up.
Fruit ninja, but where both the fruit and the ninjas were cars?
Shut up and take my money.
Cars.
They make game design good.
*calming music*
Mother 3, the English release.
We know many of you know Mother 3 from its lauded Japanese version.
And while I'm usually more of a subs not dubs kinda fellow,
I urge you to check out this English release.
Retaining the sprawling story, quirky world and meaningful interactions of the original,
it builds on the Japanese release by having every character fully voiced by Jon St. John,
the legendary voice actor who brought to life such notable pillars of gaming as Duke Nukem
and that big cat from Sonic Adventures
Jon St.John: "who can't move?"
His dull-set tones really bring a richness and vitality to the world
that the mother series has never known before
Joh St.John in dull voice: "it's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I'm all outta gum."
So if you're a fan you owe it to yourself to check this one out.
Jon St.John in a dull voice "It's a good day to die."
And finally.....
*cymbal clash and music*
Half-life 3, confirmed.
This release flew under the radar due to Valve's questionable decision to make it a Vectrex only release,
but with a new port coming to the Infinium Labs Phantom, it's high time we talk about it.
A brilliant mashup of idle clicker and match three game,
where Half-Life 3 really shines is in its microtransaction system.
Both critics and fans agree that the "Loot Box Recursion" system (tm),
where loot boxes can contain other loot boxes that you have to pay to unlock,
really confirmed for them that they were living in a dystopian hellscape.
So if you haven't checked it out already,
have your wallets open, and your computers on overnight
FOR THE APOTHEOSIS
OF
GAAAAAAAAAAME!
So there you have it.
Are there other games you haven't tried? Tell us about them in the comments below.
And don't forget:
Smash that like button! And Ring. THAT. BELL.
*airhorn noises*
This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here huge success
All the games we showed you were fantastic!
Or maybe they're garbage
With a few of interesting designs
I don't know because I made this song up on the spot
hahahaha!
But there's no you three doing another take
Because this is my song and it's gettin' real late
So if you don't like the games and you think that they are lame then you can just go fly a kite.
Because flying a kite's pretty dumb and you know they're attached to a rope.
Hey, maybe I think I'll go buy a boat,
buy a boat, buy a boat, buy a boat
Zoey I wanna buy a boat.
*Zoey meows*