♪ ♪ >> THE CORNER.
>> Stephen: WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
I CAN'T FOLLOW THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP.
>> OF COURSE YOU CAN. >> Stephen: HUH?
>> STEPHEN, YOU'VE GOT TO DO YOUR SHOW.
>> Stephen: THE CAST OF "TED LASSO!"
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY DRESSING ROOM?
>> WE CAME HERE TO WATCH THE GAME ON YOUR TV.
>> YES, WE'RE ON APPLE TV+. THEY DON'T ALLOW US BROADCAST
CHANNELS. >> YEAH, THE ONLY CHANNEL WE GET
IS TIM COOK ANNOUNCING THE NEW iPHONE.
>> NOW IN YELLOW. >> OOH.
>> Stephen: OOH. >> OUR SHOW IS ABOUT SOCCER BUT
WE ARE ALL HUGE BASKETBALL FANS. >> BASKETBALL IS LIFE.
>> WAIT, NO, NO. REMEMBER WHAT WE SAID ABOUT
DOING CATCHPHRASES FOR FREE? >> OH, YES.
>> Stephen: YOU SEE, THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
EVERYONE IS SO EXCITED ABOUT THE GAME, THEY'RE NOT GOING TO WANT
TO WATCH MY STUPID COMEDY SHOW. >> COME ON.
OF COURSE WE WANT TO SEE YOUR SHOW.
>> YEAH. HOW ELSE ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO
FALL ASLEEP AFTER ALL THAT EXCITEMENT?
>> Stephen: I'M SORRY, WHAT? >> YOU SEE, RIGHT NOW YOU'RE
CAUGHT IN A DELICATE BALANCE BETWEEN SPORTS, COMEDY, AND
GENUINE HUMAN EMOTION. >> AND THAT'S AN AREA THAT
SCIENCE EXPERTS, OR SCIENTISTS, REFER TO AS THE TED LASSO ZONE.
>> Stephen: OH, I SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW, JASON.
YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE ME AN INSPIRATIONAL SPEECH, LIKE ON
YOUR SHOW. >> STEPHEN, WHY WOULD I DO THAT?
WHEN THE INSPIRATIONAL SPEECH THAT YOU NEED HAS BEEN RIGHT IN
HERE ALL ALONG? DID THAT WORK?
>> Stephen: NO. >> SHOOT, OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, I GOT NOTHING. YOU GUYS GOT ANYTHING FOR THIS
GUY? >> NO.
>> Stephen: I JUST LOOK AT THAT
AND I KNOW I CAN'T COMPETE. >> WHAT?
WHOA, WHOA, HEY, NO. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT WORD.
>> Stephen: WHAT WORD, "COMPETE?"
>> NO. >> Stephen: "I?"
>> NO. >> IT'S THE OTHER ONE, STEPHEN.
>> THE C WORD. >> Stephen: [BLEEP]
>> ALL: WHOA! >> YO.
>> STEPHEN. >> Stephen: OH, I'M SORRY.
"CAN'T?" >> YEAH.
>> THAT'S THE ONE. >> YEAH.
THAT'S THE WORD. YEAH, THAT YOU CAN SAY.
THAT'S FINE. BUT I DON'T LIKE IT.
OKAY? 'CAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT CAN'T IS
JUST A CAN FULL OF TEA. WHICH WE ALL KNOW IS JUST HOT
BROWN WATER. >> CATCHPHRASES FOR FREE.
REMEMBER. >> YEAH, YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
THANK YOU. >> Stephen: LOOK, GUYS, I
APPRECIATE WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO.
THE FACT THE MATTER IS, I'M JUST GOING TO SIT OVER THERE, DROWN
MY SORROWS IN ICE CREAM WITH A REDDI-WIP CHASER.
>> WILL YOU STOP IT, STEPHEN? THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU.
IT'S ABOUT US. >> Stephen: THE CAST OF
"TED LASSO?" >> YES, STEPHEN.
WE ARE ALL BEHIND YOU. >> WE ARE A TEAM.
>> YEAH, AND THERE IS THE SPORT WE ALL CARE MOST ABOUT IN THE
WORLD IS LATE NIGHT COMEDY/VARIETY.
>> STEPHEN, ON OUR SHOW, WE HAVE A SIGN IN THE LOCKER ROOM THAT
SAYS "BELIEVE." SO I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU A SIGN
RIGHT HERE TO REMIND YOU OF EVERYTHING THAT YOU,
STEPHEN COLBERT, NEED TO GET OUT THERE AND DO YOUR SHOW TONIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S BRING IT IN. ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ >> "LATE SHOW" ON THREE.
ONE, TWO, THREE. >> LATE SHOW ON THREE!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ ♪
>> ♪ YEAH, WE'VE GOT STEPHEN A. SMITH AND DYLAN
McDERMOTT ♪ ♪ YEAH, MUSICAL GUEST DAVIDO ♪
♪ YEAH, FEATURING LOUIS CATO AND "THE LATE SHOW" BAND ♪
♪ AND NOW YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT ♪