TO MATTERS GEAR IT’S MADE IN THE
USA.
>> Greg: HAPPY THURSDAY MY
WONDER PARTNERS IN LIFE.
GREAT NEWS A SAND CASTLE ON
THE BEACH INFLATION SORES AND
CRIME RUNS RAMPANT.
IT WAS THE DEPARTMENT OF
HOMELAND SECURITY CONSUME WITH?
I’LL GIVE YOU HINTS.
IT AIN’T HOMELAND SECURITY.
IT’S WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT
THEM TO THEIR FAILURES,
APPARENTLY THEY’RE THIN-SKINNED
AS NANCY PELOSI’S EYELIDS.
[LAUGHS]
AND A HEARING ON IMMIGRATION
THAT BALD FELLOW WITH THE
ADORABLE EARS ANNOUNCED THE
DISINFORMATION GOVERNMENT BOARD
IN ORDER TO COMBAT ONLINE
MISINFORMATION.
YOU KNOW BECAUSE THE REAL
PROBLEMS WE FACE APPARENTLY ARE
OUR OPINIONS, NOT OUR
INCOMPETENT ACTIONS.
IT’S LIKE BLAMING FIRES ON THE
FIRE DEPARTMENT.
THEY ALWAYS SEEM TO BE AROUND
RIGHT AFTER I START ONE.
[LAUGHS]
>> WE JUST RECENTLY CONSTITUTED
MISINFORMATION, DISINFORMATION
GOVERNANCE BOARD.
SO WE ARE BRINGING COME OF THE
GOAL IS TO BRING THE REEF
SOURCES OF THE DEPARTMENT
TOGETHER TO ADDRESS THIS THREAT.
>> Greg: FUN FACT HE HAD HAIR
LIKE BOBBIO BEFORE HE WORKED
WITH KAMALA HARRIS.
WHAT IS HE REMIND ME OF THIS
GUY?
I JUST WANT TO SQUEEZE HIS HEAD
LIKE A PASTRY BAG FULL OF
WHIPPED CREAM.
THAT WOULD JUST BE THE
BEGINNING.
WELL I HOPE THAT THEY FOUND A
GOOD PERSON AHEAD OF THE BOARD,
SOMEONE WHO CAN TELL THE
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REAL AND FAKE
WHO CAN OBJECTIVELY JUDGE
EVIDENCE AND REFRAIN FROM MAKING
SNAP DECISIONS WITHOUT ANY PROOF
PROOF.
OH, IT’S NINA JANKE WEIGHTS, SHE
IS DIRECTING THE BOARD.
I WOULDN’T TRUST HER TO DIRECT A
PAULY SHORE MOVIE.
SHE DOES SHARE HER GOVERNMENT
PORTRAIT ON HER SOCIAL MEDIA
PROFILE.
CATS OUT OF THE BAG SHE SAID.
BUT REALLY WHO PICTURE HAD TO BE
HAVING IN THE BAG, SHE’S FURTHER
TO THE LEFT AND THE QUEEN
MONSTER AT FENWAY.
THAT’S A BASEBALL REFERENCE CAT.
I KNOW MY SPORTS.
IN CASE YOU WERE UNAWARE SHE HAD
QUESTIONS OF VALIDITY OF THE
HUNTER BIDEN LAPTOPS EARLY ON.
WHICH RAISES SOME QUESTIONS ONE,
HOW WAS SHE AN EXPERT, AND TO
YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME.
HOW COULD SHE EVEN QUALIFY FOR
THIS JOB IF SHE GOT THAT WRONG.
WHY FORGOT WERE TALKED ABOUT THE
JOE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION JOB AT
IT CAN DO NEXT?
PUT KAMALA HARRIS IN CHARGE OF
THE SOUTHERN BORDER?
YOU HAVE TO WONDER HOW DOES THIS
EXPERT BASE OR OPINIONS ON THE
LAPTOP WITH THEIR OWN APPEARING
OPINIONS OR WAS IT HANDED TO HER
LIKE JOE BIDEN WAS HANDED THE
PRESIDENCY?
IT’S THE BIGGEST DISINFORMATION
STORY OF THE PAST TWO YEARS
ASIDE FROM WHOEVER CONVINCED CNN
TO START A STREAMING SERVICE.
THAT WAS ME.
WAS SHE AWARE THAT WHEN SHE
SPOTTED HER DISINFORMATION SHE
WOULD AFFECT AN ELECTION?
MAYBE THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT,
AND LATER WHEN IT’S ABUNDANTLY
CLEAR THAT IT’S WRONG WHY IS
THAT SHE UP TO IT?
I ADMIT WHEN I’M WRONG, OR AT
LEAST UNPREPARED TO IF IT EVER
HAPPENS.
BUT SHE KNEW THAT SHE LIED TO
GET DONALD TRUMP OUT AND
JOE BIDEN IN.
AND SHE IS RUNNING THIS THING.
NUMBER AS MUCH AS THEY SAY THAT
THEY HATE DISINFORMATION, THE
REAL DOOZIES COME FROM THEM.
BECAUSE ALEJANDRO, THAT WAS
DISINFORMATION JOE BIDEN
AMPLIFIED IT DEMONIZING THE DHS,
BORDER DUDE ABOUT WHIPPING
HAITIAN MIGRANTS.
IT DIDN’T HAVE TO BE A
LONG-STANDING OF THE FEW CLUBS
LOCATED RIGHT HERE IN MIDTOWN
MANHATTAN TO KNOW THOSE WEREN’T
WHIPS.
I MEAN IT’S NOTHING LIKE A
LEATHER FLOG HER.
[LAUGHS]
BUT THEY CONDUCTED AN
INVESTIGATION ON IT AND ONCE
THEY REALIZE THEIR INFORMATION
TURNED OUT TO BE AS LEGIT AS
FAKE EYELASHES THEY SAID
NOTHING, AND THAT SHOULD PICK
YOU OFF.
THEY’RE CREATING A MINISTRY OF
INFORMATION OF THE GODS OF
PROTECTION VIEWS.
WHERE THEY’RE TARGETING YOU
INSTEAD.
YOU CAN’T TRUST THESE PEOPLE TO
MONITOR TO DISINFORMATION,
THAT’S LIKE HAVING HIM TO GUARD
YOUR DOUGHNUTS.
ASKING JOY BAY HARD TO KEEP AN
EYE ON YOUR BROOMSTICK.
IT’S LIKE BEGGING HUNTER TO KEEP
AN EYE ON YOUR EIGHT BALL, THAT
WAS MY MISTAKE.
[LAUGHS]
IS LIKE TRUSTING NORMAN BATES TO
RECOMMEND A GOOD
BED-AND-BREAKFAST.
SHE IS ALSO A LEFTY CLONE
LIBERAL REACTION TO MYSTIFYING
TWITTER.
SHE CAME UP WITH THE THOUGHT OF
HER OWN SHE WOULD DIE OF
LONELINESS.
SHE TOLD MPR THAT SHE SHUDDERS
AND THINGS MORE FREE SPEECH
AFTER MUSK BOSC TWITTER AND
WONDER IF THE FIRST AMENDED IS A
GOOD THING TO MARGINALIZED
COMMUNITIES.
BY MARGINALIZED COMMUNITIES SHE
NEEDS PEOPLE WHO THINK JOKES OR
ACTS OF VIOLENCE WHILE ACTS OF
VIOLENCE ARE FREE SPEECH.
>> I SHUDDER TO THINK ABOUT IT
FREE SPEECH ABSOLUTIST OR TAKEN
OVER MORE PLATFORMS, WHAT THAT
WOULD LOOK LIKE FOR MARGINALIZED
COMMUNITIES ALL AROUND THE WORLD
WHICH ARE ALREADY SHOULDERING SO
MUCH OF THIS ABUSE,
DISPROPORTIONATE AMOUNTS OF THIS
ABUSE.
>> Greg: SO MUCH, SHE ALSO
RECOMMENDED THE GOVERNMENT SPEND
YOUR MONEY ON A ROBUST PUBLIC
MEDIA.
IMAGINE THAT, ALL OF THE BOREDOM
OF MPR WITH THE EFFICIENCY OF
THE DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR VEHICLES
VEHICLES.
AND AS UNBIASED AS WILL SMITH
REVEALING A JADA PINKETT SMITH
MOVIE.
SHE ALSO PLOTTED TWITTER’S
EFFORT THAT USERS DURING THE
2,020 ELECTION SIGN AT THE
PLATFORM MOVED IN THE RIGHT
DIRECTION, WHICH REALLY MEANS
THAT MOVING SO FAR LEFT, NOW
THEY WOULD SAY LET’S THINK THIS
OVER.
I WONDER WHEN THIS WILL COME TO
THE WORKPLACE.
>> HI, EVERYONE WELCOME TO THE
GOT FELLED DISINFORMATION BOARD
DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY QUESTIONS?
>> YES ALAS WE CAN ALL STRAPPED
IN THAT ELEVATOR AND YOU TOLD
GREG THAT I WAS IN CANCUN IS NOT
DISINFORMATION?
YOU COULD SEE ME ON ELEVATOR
SECURITY CAMERA.
>> Kat: I’M SO SORRY THAT YOU
FEEL THAT WAY.
BUT WE ALL KNOW THAT UNLIKE TIME
TRAVEL ELEVATORS HAVEN’T BEEN
INVENTED YET RIGHT?
>> LAST TIME I WAS ON PANEL YOU
PROMISED THAT I CAN GET INTO
HAIR AND MAKEUP AND YOU WERE IN
THERE FOR SIX HOURS HAVING YOUR HAIR EXTENSIONS DONE.
HAIR EXTENSIONS DONE.
>> Kat: WAIT MY HAIR IS REAL.
LOOK I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE
THAT GREG IS THE GUILTY ONE HERE
RIGHT?
REMEMBER WHEN HE SAID WE
COULDN’T HAVE BATHROOM BREAKS
BECAUSE COVID LIVES IN YOUR P?
>> HI, EVERYONE WE CAN START THE
DISINFORMATION MEETING NOW.
[LAUGHS]
>> Greg: ALL DAY AGO, SO IT
APPEARS [LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
IT APPEARS THAT THIS WHITE HOUSE
IS TRYING TO CREATE A NEW SHINY
ARM OF GOVERNMENT TO CRACK DOWN
ON STUFF THEY DON’T WANT TO HEAR
THE GOAL IS TO POLICE YOUR
OPINIONS, TO HIDE THE BAD NEWS,
OR MAGICALLY TURN INTO GOOD
NEWS.
A INFLATION IS GOOD FOR THE
ECONOMY, THE CRIME RATE IS
ACTUALLY GOING DOWN, CARJACKING
IS REALLY ASSERTIVE CARPOOLING.
I WONDER WHAT THEIR MOTTO WILL
BE COMING HERE’S MY SUGGESTION.
IF YOU LIKE YOUR OPINION YOU CAN
KEEP YOUR OPINION.
LET’S WELCOME TONIGHT’S GUESTS.
WE CALL HER THE GEORGIA PEACH
BECAUSE SHE WAS BORN IN ATLANTA
AND KEEPS THROWING FOOD AT MY
HEAD.
THE FALCONER FOCUS AND COHORTS
OF OUTNUMBERED, HARRIS FAULKNER.
HIS SHOW STARTS SO EARLY IT
SHOULD BE CALLED FOX FOX & FRIEN
AND NAPS.
[LAUGHS]
’S COHOST OF & FRIENDS FIRST
TALK, TODD PIRO.
THEY TOLD HIM TO QUIT HIS DAY
JOB IN THE HOPES, ACTOR WRITER
AND COMEDIAN JAMIE LISSOW.
AND FINALLY SHE NEVER GETS
PHASED EITHER WHILE BEING TASED,
FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR KAT TIMPF
[APPLAUSE]
>> Greg: HARRIS, HARRIS,
HARRIS, HARRIS.
>> Harris: STOP, I’M NOT THE
VICE PRESIDENT.
I WANT MY NAME BACK.
>> Greg: THIS WHOLE WEEK HAS
BEEN ABOUT SPEECH, FREEDOM OF
SPEECH RECEIVING LINES BEING
DRAWN WOULD YOU MAKE OF THIS
THIS INFORMATION?
>> Harris: WE GOT TO SEE WHAT
THAT WAS TO LOOK LIKE TODAY.
A LOT OF IT IS GOOD WE CAN YOU
WATCH THE SIGNING SHINY OBJECT
OVER THERE?
IT’S BEEN ROLLED OUT TODAY.
AND HE HAD REPRESENTATIVES ARE
REALLY GETTING INTO IT.
HE SAID OF ALL THE TERRORISTS
SET UP AND RELEASE OTHER ANY
GOING ABOUT THE COUNTRY DOWN
SOUTH?
BELOW ARE THE BOATER?
WELL I CAN PROVIDE THAT, THAT’S
NOT A NO AND HE GOT REALLY,
REALLY HEATED AND WAS RIGHT
ABOUT THE TIME THAT WE WERE
LEARNING A LOT NEW INFORMATION.
IT’S CONVENIENT DAY TWO AND THE TIMING OF THIS.
TIMING OF THIS.
NOT BELIEVE IN COINCIDENCES.
>> Kat: THAT’S WHAT I WAS
GONNA SAY.
>> Greg: MUST BE SOME PART OF
A BIGGER PLAN.
JAMIE, HOW YOU DOING OVER THERE?
>> Jamie: I’M GREAT.
>> Greg: YOUR FAR AWAY.
[LAUGHS]
>> Jamie: I WISH THERE WERE
WILLS ON THIS THING.
I SMACKED >> Greg: WHEN YOU
MAKE OF THIS MISINFORMATION,
WHAT IS IT CALLED?
IT’S A BOARD.
A GOVERNMENT.
>> Jamie: I WAS SO EXCITED BY
ELON MUSK THAT I THOUGHT
EVERYONE WOULD BE EXCITED AND
WHICH IS SO DISAPPOINTING AND IS
REMIND ME AT THE HUNTER BIDEN
LAPTOP THING IS INSANE AND I
WILL SAY THAT IT DID GIVE ME A
LITTLE BIT PARANOID DISMEMBERING
THAT STORY LIKE I GET SO
PARANOID ABOUT MY LAPTOP ON IF
YOU DO THIS, I WAS PUT A LITTLE
PIECE OF BLACK TAPE TO COVER MY.
[LAUGHS]
>> Harris: ’S IN REAL LIFE ARE
PROJECTED ON THE SCREEN?
IT IS AT THE SAME?
>> Jamie: JUST SO EVERYBODY
KNOWS IT’S ME.
I’M LEGITIMATELY EXCITED ABOUT
ELON MUSK ON TWITTER.
THE HARDEST PART OF THE
CONTRACTORS.
DOWN TO 280 CHARACTERS.
>> Greg: OU.
WENT FROM A BEAUTIFUL JOKE.
>> Jamie: CAN I TRY TO RECOVER
WITH ONE MORE?
>> Greg: YES.
>> Jamie: I FEEL LIKE A RICH
GUY DOING BIG THINGS READY TO
WATCH.
BECAUSE ELON MUSK HE’S GOT A FEW
MONEY, SOMEDAY I JUST HOPE THAT
I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE MONEY.
[LAUGHS]
>> Greg: NO IT’S NOT BAD.
WE’LL GET INTO THE JUDGES LATER.
TODD HOW YOU DOING?
>> Todd: I’M DOING GREAT,
DOING GREAT.
>> Greg: YOU WANT TO GO SEE
THE YANKEES TODAY.
>> Todd: GREG CALLED ME BUT I
CAME FULLY DRESSED.
>> Greg: HE’S ONE OF THOSE
PEOPLE WHO WEARS THE JERSEY OF
THE PLAYER HE LIKES WHICH IS NOT
ALL OBSESSIVE IN EXCHANGE.
WHEN YOU MAKE OF THIS?
HOW COULD THEY HAVE PICKED
SOMEONE THIS OBVIOUSLY BIASED TO
RUN THIS THING?
>> Todd: OBVIOUSLY I WANT TO
FOCUS ON THE RUSSIAN EXPERT PART
OF HER PORTFOLIO.
SHE IS PROBABLY IN RUSSIAN
EXPERT THE FACT THAT SHE
DISMISSED THE HUNTER BIDEN LIKE
I’M AN EXPERT IN DANCE.
I’M NOT AN EXPERT IN DANCE JUST
LOOK AT ME.
BUT ONE OF THE KEY THINGS THAT I
FOUND IN NO ONE’S REALLY TALK
ABOUT IS THE FOCUS ON THIS
DISINFORMATION GROUP IS GOING TO
BE THE HISPANIC COMMUNITY,
BECAUSE THERE’S CONCERN ABOUT
MISINFORMATION AND A
RADICALIZATION AND ELECTION
MISINFORMATION WITH REGARD TO
THIS COMMUNITY, COULD THIS HAVE
ANYTHING TO DO WITH ON A NO
POLLING SHOWING THAT HISPANICS
ARE FLOCKING TO THE G.O.P. IN
RECORD NUMBERS.
FLOCKING AND POTENTIALLY VOTING
REPUBLICAN IS DISINFORMATION
CLEARLY IN THE EYES OF THE
JOE BIDEN DEMONSTRATION.
>> Greg: CRAZY, CRAZY.
WHAT IS YOUR THOUGHT ON PAYING
FOR DISINFORMATION BOARD THAT
WILL LIKELY TARGET YOU?
>> Kat: I’M AGAINST TAXES.
I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND WHO
WOULD TRUST THAT SOMEONE’S SURE
JUST BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT SAYS
IT’S TRUE BECAUSE NOBODY HAS THE
ABILITY TO BE ABLE TO LIE LIKE
THE GOVERNMENT BECAUSE THEY HAVE
POWER OVER ALL OF US.
AND I DON’T FEEL ANYONE COULD
WANT THIS.
I GO OKAY YEAH YOU CAN’T SAY
THAT THAT’S NOT TRUE BECAUSE WE
SAY IT’S NOT TRUE.
IF LIKE THIS A DONALD TRUMP
THING I THINK IT BE LIKE A
MASSIVE MELTDOWN OVER THERE.
A MASSIVE MELTDOWN OVER THERE.
I WOULD BE MELTING DOWN THE
MATTER WHO THE PRESIDENT WAS.
BECAUSE THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT
IS THAT YOU’RE ALLOWED TO THINK
AND SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT TO
THIS IS GOVERNMENT SANCTIONED
SPEECH IN A WAY.
IT IS EXACTLY WHAT IT IS.
>> Harris: THEY HAVE LOST AND
YOU BROUGHT THIS POINT THAT THEY
HAVE LOST WHAT THEY THOUGHT WAS
GONNA BE THE GATEKEEPER ON THAT.
THEY LOST TWITTER.
AND SO NOW, WHAT WE DO?
BY THE WAY THIS IS BASED ON
SENATOR THAT IS ALREADY EXISTS
WITHIN THE ADMINISTRATION.
THEY DON’T HAVE THE POWER OF ANY
PRUDENT PUNITIVE DAMAGE ALL THEY
CAN DO IS WATCH YOU.
MIKE YOU THAT’S ENOUGH TO MAKE
ME FEEL UNNERVED.
>> Greg: USED LIKE BEING
WATCHED AS I GOT OLDER I PREFER
TO BE THE WATCHER.
>> Harris: OKAY THAT’S NOT
WHAT I MEANT.
[LAUGHS]
>> Greg: SOMETIMES I DON’T
UNDERSTAND YOU.
[LAUGHS]
WE SHOULD START TESTING THAT.
WE SHOULD START FINDING OUT WHAT
THE LITTLE TRIPWIRES ARE BY
SAYING THINGS ON THE SHOW THAT
COULD BE CONSIDERED AS
DISINFORMATION JUST TO SEE, JUST
TO DRIVE THEM CRAZY.
>> Harris: I’VE GOT ONE,
WUHAN, PROBABLY WILL BE COVID-19
COVID-19.
AND I’LL GET YOU STICKERED AND
SUSPENDED I’M JUST SAYING.
>> Greg: EXACTLY EXACTLY.
I THINK SOME MORE DURING THE
BREAK.
[LAUGHS]
ALL RIGHT BEFORE WE GO THIS IS
SO EXCITING OR WELCOMING BACK
OUR STUDIO AUDIENCE IN A
BRAND-NEW STUDIO FOR SUITABLE
YOUR MIND, THAT THIS MONDAY
MAY 2ND AND WE HAVE A SHOW
THAT’S INSANE LIKE REAL GUEST
NOT LIKE JAMIE.
[LAUGHS]
FREE TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE RIGHT