-The White House released a damning memo
from President Trump's call with the leader of Ukraine
after the House opened a formal impeachment inquiry.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
[ Cheers and applause ]
After Democrats announced yesterday
they would move forward with impeachment,
the White House announced that they would release notes
of Trump's phone call with Ukraine's president
in which Trump pressured him to interfere in the 2020 election
by digging up dirt on Joe Biden and his son.
And suddenly everyone started speculating
that maybe -- maybe the transcript
wouldn't be as bad as we were expecting.
-I just don't understand why you do it today
when the transcript theoretically -- I'm not say --
could be somewhat exculpatory of Trump.
-If the transcript is exculpatory --
that's sort of legalese for helpful to the president.
-Well, my first thought is that President Trump
would not release this transcript
if it were not exculpatory.
-Yes, he would.
Donald Trump is literally incapable
of doing anything exculpatory.
First of all, he would have to know
what the word "exculpatory" means.
"Of course I know what 'exculpatory' means.
It means you used to be culpatory."
[ Laughter ]
And he certainly couldn't pronounce it.
I mean, yesterday, he couldn't even read the word "tire"
off a teleprompter.
-Americans will never fire or tire in our effort.
-Oh, my God, he couldn't read a one-syllable word.
And I love the irony of saying "Americans will never tire"
while you're standing there looking like
you just drank a bottle of NyQuil during a gas leak.
"Americans will never tire or -- or fire."
I love that thing he does where instead of correcting himself,
he acts like both words were right.
Like he's reading a Dr. Seuss book.
"Americans will never fire or tire or get stuck in the mire,
but they'll definitely hire a liar who perspires."
So at first some people thought the notes from the phone call
would somehow clear Trump of wrongdoing,
and then there was the question
of whether this supposed transcript will even be complete
because as we all know,
White House transcripts have been edited before.
I mean, remember, this is the guy
who literally doctored a hurricane map
by drawing a circle in Sharpie to include Alabama.
There was a good chance
the supposed transcript would come out
and the first line would be the president of Ukraine saying,
"Thanks for being so innocent, sir."
Then there's the fact that actual transcripts
of Trump's words are often incomplete
because even the world's best stenographers
have no idea what he's saying,
like the time the Associated Press
put out a transcript of an interview with Trump
and there were sentences where even the reporters
could not understand what he was saying.
These are sentences from the actual transcript.
"Here's part of your story.
It's going to be a big unintelligible.
I'll tell you the other thing is unintelligible.
We've been working on it. Unintelligible.
Secretary Mnuchin is a very talented person,
very smart, very successful, unintelligible.
Let me leave a little room just in case unintelligible."
My God, "Unintelligible" should be his Secret Service code name.
"Unintelligible is on the move.
He said he was going to McDernald's,
but we think he means McDonald's."
[ Cheers and applause ]
And then, of course, Trump himself
was going around insisting repeatedly
that he did not pressure the president of Ukraine
to investigate a political rival in exchange
for hundreds of millions of dollars in military aid.
-It was a totally appropriate conversation.
It was actually a beautiful conversation.
There was no quid pro quo. There was nothing.
It was a perfect conversation.
The conversation, by the way, was absolutely perfect.
It was a beautiful, warm, nice conversation.
The conversation I had with the president of Ukraine
was absolutely perfect.
The conversation I had with the president of Ukraine
was absolutely a 10.
It was perfect.
-A 10?
Why are you talking about a phone call
like you're creeping on women at the beach?
"That call is a 10.
Wait until you hear the jugs on that call."
So there you go.
The media speculated that the call would be exculpatory,
impeachment calls would be premature,
and Trump said it would prove he was innocent.
They all said, "There's no way Trump would be dumb enough
to release a transcript in which he commits a bunch of crimes,
like asking for a personal political favor
in exchange for hundreds of millions of dollars
in military aid."
And then this morning, Trump released notes from the call
in which it turns out he was dumb enough
to commit a bunch of crimes,
like asking for a personal political favor
in exchange for hundreds of millions of dollars
in military aide.
-Here's what the president said.
"There's a lot of talk about Biden's son,
that Biden stopped the prosecution,
and a lot of people want to find out about that,
so whatever you can do with the Attorney General would be great.
Biden went around bragging that he stopped the prosecution.
So if you can look into it, it sounds horrible to me."
-The first investigation that the president brings up
with the president of Ukraine --
This is immediately following
the Ukrainian president's mention of military aid
and how he wants to continue with military aid
from the United States, which we know at this point,
a large portion of which had been suspended.
Here's what the president says
in response to that conversation.
"I would like to ask you to do us a favor, though,
because our country has been through a lot.
Ukraine knows a lot about it."
-In an official call with the president of another country,
he literally brought up Joe Biden, Rudy Giuliani,
and said the words "I would like you to do us a favor."
It doesn't get more obvious than that.
It actually would have been better for Trump
if the whole transcript had just said "unintelligible."
At when Trump asks for the favor,
it wasn't just an innocent request.
As this call was happening,
Trump was holding up hundreds of millions of dollars
in military aid to Ukraine
that Ukraine desperately wanted from the U.S.
In fact, Trump specifically brought up the Biden stuff
right after the Ukrainian president
brought up that military aid.
In the memo, the Ukrainian president said,
"I would also like to thank you
for your great support in the area of defense."
And then the very next sentence out of Trump's mouth was,
"I would like you to do us a favor, though."
That is an obvious quid pro quo.
The only way it's not a quid pro quo
is that when it comes to committing crimes,
Trump is definitely not a pro.
He's an idiot.
It's more like a quid idiot quo.
He literally said, "I'd like you to do us a favor."
He might as well have been having this meeting
at his daughter's wedding while petting a cat.
Or if not a cat, one of his other pets.
[ Laughter ]
Let's remember -- Let's remember Rudy Giuliani
was a private citizen, the president's personal lawyer,
who was on a fishing expedition to concoct a fake scandal
and get Ukraine to manufacture dirt
on a political opponent, Joe Biden.
The fact that his name came up
on this call even once is insane,
but look how many times Trump mentioned Rudy.
"Mr. Giuliani's a highly respected man.
He was the mayor of New York City, great mayor.
And I would like him to call you.
I will ask him to call you, along with the Attorney General.
Rudy very much knows what's happening
and he's a very capable guy."
But he's not.
He does not know what's happening
and he is definitely not a capable guy.
For one thing, any time he does a interview,
he looks like a guy in a haunted house
after a zombie just popped out of the bushes.
[ Laughter ]
In fact, Rudy has spent the last few days
spitting out live on national television.
First he tried out some prop comedy
by showing everyone his phone in a Fox interview
and then showing up to another Fox interview reading a book.
Why? Why's he doing prop comedy now.
"Here's a phone. Here's a book.
And here's one of my puppets. He's actually my brother."
Also, I can assure you, Rudy is not a highly respected man.
In fact, just to give you an idea
of how little he's respected on Capitol Hill,
Politico reported today that, and this is real,
"At the House Democratic meeting this morning,
Rudy Giuliani was the butt of a joke.
Congressman Hakeem Jeffries showed a Seth Meyers sizzle reel
of Giuliani's recent cable appearances.
The room erupted in laughter."
That's right, as House Democrats --
[ Cheers and applause ]
As they were meeting
to discuss impeaching the president of the United States,
they were watching a sizzle reel of our Rudy Giuliani jokes.
Does that mean I could get called as an official witness
in the impeachment?
Oh, my God [ Cheers and applause ]
I mean, I already have my testimony prepared.
"Yes, Mr. Chairman, while I do not have any insights
into Mr. Giuliani's conversations with Ukraine,
I can confirm that he does, in fact,
look like he accidentally stuck his [bleep]
in an electrical socket."
[ Laughter ]
"Yes, you heard me right."
[ Laughter ]
So you got the president
dangling a quid pro quo asking for a political favor
and repeatedly prodding a foreign leader
to speak with his personal lawyer
and manufacture a baseless smear of a political opponent.
Just what we can see in this memo alone
is impeachable behavior,
let alone what's in the full whistle-blower complaint.
I mean, can you imagine how bad
that full whistle-blower report is?
What else could it possibly say?
"After the call, Mr. Trump then stood up, tripped on his tie,
fell headfirst into a garbage can, got up, ran into a wall,
knocked himself unconscious, woke up, and screamed,
'Where am I, and who [bleep] my pants?'"
[ Laughter, applause ]
Today...
Today Trump actually met with the president of Ukraine
on the sidelines of the United Nations
and claimed he hadn't pressured him
while also insisting all he cared about was corruption.
-You know what? There was no pressure.
And, by the way, you know there was no pressure.
All you have to do is see it, what went on on the call.
-Would you like President Zelensky
to do more on Joe Biden and the investigation?
-No, I want him to do whatever he can
but whatever he can do in terms of corruption
because the corruption is massive.
-Oh, you want him to do something with corruption?
Okay, well, he's sitting right next to you.
Did he bring his handcuffs?
'Cause when it comes to stopping corruption,
one thing's for sure.
The president of Ukraine will never...
-Fire or tire.
-Now, one big question looming over the impeachment debate
has always been the political impact.
How would it affect Trump's chances of getting reelected?
Would it cut into his chances, or would it solidify his base?
Some Democrats have been scared that impeachment
would somehow be good for him or play into his hands.
We have to drop this idea
that Trump is playing three-dimensional chess.
He's more like a guy who ate a chess piece,
is now choking on it,
and instead of gesturing for the Heimlich maneuver,
eats another chess piece to dislodge the first one.
In fact, Trump himself has made this argument,
that he wants to be impeached
because it would somehow be good for him politically.
In fact, he repeated that claim again yesterday.
-The country's doing the best it's ever done.
And I just heard that she'd like to impeach.
Our country's doing the best it's ever done.
They're going to lose the election,
and they figure this is a thing to do.
This never happened where we're in the election.
And, I mean, if she does that,
they all say that's a positive for me from the election.
You could also say, "Who needs it?
It's bad for the country."
-Of course, his first priority is, "It's good for me."
And then he throws in as an afterthought,
"Also, it's bad for the country."
He's like an athlete who bet against his own team.
"Yes, the Patriots scored a touchdown!
I mean, damn, let's go, Jets."
The reality is that if we finally have
a real formal impeachment process with hearings and votes,
we'll all get to see actual evidence
of Trump's serial corruption and lawbreaking
live on national television every single day.
And that's a huge deal.
Now, just before we taped this show,
Trump held another of his signature
off-the-rails press conferences
where he once again lost his mind on national television.
First he started out by claiming the whistle-blower
who reported on his conversation with the president of Ukraine
didn't have what he called first-class information,
although it was hard to follow what he was saying.
-The so-called whistle-blower,
the one that didn't have any first-class or first-rate
or second-tier information, from what I understand.
You'll have to figure that out for yourself.
-Firsthand!
He didn't have any firsthand information!
[ Cheers and applause ]
"First-rate, first-class.
Didn't have any first-base information.
The common phrase, first-base information."
I mean, why does he make us try to figure out
what the hell he's trying to say?
"You'll have to figure out what I'm --
I'll say words, then you guys put them into sentences."
[ Laughter ]
Then Trump complained that because everyone
was talking about Ukraine and impeachment,
no one was covering how hard he was working
during his meetings with foreign leaders.
-The sad thing about this hoax is that we work so hard
with all of these countries.
And, I mean, really hard.
I've been up from early in the morning to late in the evening
and meeting with different countries,
all for the good of our country,
and the press doesn't even cover all of this.
-Early in the mornings and late in --
So you mean a workday. You had a workday.
"We start in the morning. And then we stop for lunch.
It's called a lunch break. First I've heard of it.
Then we have meetings again at night.
I'm working like eight, nine hours a day."
[ Laughter ]
Trump wants us all to be impressed
by how hard the job is.
But we knew it was hard.
You're like the only one who was like,
"Presidents work mornings?"
What we saw in today's memo alone is impeachable behavior,
and Trump and his lawyer keep going on TV
and confessing to more crimes.
When it comes to corruption and lawlessness,
what we saw today was...
-Absolutely a 10. It was perfect.
-This has been "A Closer Look."
[ Cheers and applause ]