it's Mueller time.
Breaking news-- NBC News confirms,
Robert Mueller has impaneled a grand jury in Washington
to investigate Russia's
interference in the 2016 elections.
A grand jury impaneled means that Director Mueller thinks
he has a lot of probable cause
to move forward that crimes occurred.
Grand juries being powerful investigatory cudgels
that permit putting witnesses under oath,
or issuing subpoenas, or, of course, possibly indictments.
-Oh, snap! -(laughter)
Possible indictments?
It's about to go down! Down!
Oh, wait, wait. I'm-I'm being told
we have... we have live footage of Donald Trump right now.
(siren blaring, helicopter whirring)
♪ Bing-bing, bong, bong, bing-bing-bing. ♪
(applause and cheering)
Oh, man, today must suck for Donald Trump.
I-I just hope that if the police ever do arrest him,
they protect his head when they put him into the car.
-(laughter) -That's all I hope. That's all I hope.
You know what I-I just realized?
If they find out that Trump did commit a crime,
he's the one American who can't escape to Mexico.
-(laughing): He can't. -(laughter)
(cheers and applause)
Oh, man! I just picture him now driving.
He's like, "We just get over the border,
"and then we start a completely new life!
"Goddamn it! Who built this big beautiful wall?
-Goddamn!" -(laughter)
And Donald Trump would be the worst person to go into hiding
because he would probably change his appearance,
-but we'd still know that it was him. -(laughter)
We would still know it was him.
I hope Twitter buys extra service tonight
'cause (bleep) is going down, people.
This Mueller grand jury thing just caps off,
honestly, a terrible day for Donald Trump,
because, in the beginning, it started like this.
We are back with the breaking news.
Washington Post just released the full transcript
of phone calls that the president had in January
with the president, uh, of Mexico
and the prime minister of Australia.
And notable that this huge leak comes just a day
before Attorney General Jeff Sessions is due
to announce a major crackdown on leaks.
Yeah, and we know that Sessions is conducting
a leak investigation because that was leaked.
-(laughter) -Is there...?
Is there anything this administration won't leak?
Like, at this point, I imagine Trump looking out the window,
thinking to himself, "Man, I wish I was a butterfly."
And then he looks down at the New York Times.
Like, "Goddamn it! How did they know?!
-How did they know?" -(laughter)
Because these transcripts are amazing.
Here's what Trump actually said,
he actually said to the president of Mexico, right?
This is not what he said happened,
but this is what he said.
He was talking to the president of Mexico, and he said,
"On the wall, you and I both have a political problem.
"My people will stand up and say 'Mexico will pay for the wall,'
"and your people probably say something in a similar,
but slightly different language."
(laughter)
First of all, slightly different?
I think the language is completely different.
And, secondly, what does he mean,
"You and I both have a political problem"?
I like how Trump is like, "We need to work together, okay?
"They say Mexico's...
"I don't know where they got this idea from.
We got to work together."
That's, like, "That was your idea."
You know what Trump is like?
Trump is like a guy in high school, walking up to a girl,
and he's like, "Hey, Sarah, right?
"Yeah, uh, we've got a problem.
"So, uh, I told everybody we're dating, and, uh,
yeah, we got to figure this out."
-(laughter) -"Why is it our problem?"
"Because it's us. It's us now. We're dating. We're dating."
Yeah, it says here...
He says, "They're gonna say,
"'Who's gonna pay for the wall, Mr. President,'
"to both of us, and we should both say,
'We will work it out.'"
And Mexico's president was like,
"We ain't paying for (bleep) man."
(laughter, applause and cheering)
"We ain't paying for (bleep)."
But let's move on to our top story tonight-- body cameras.
They were introduced with the idea that having footage
of interactions would make police more accountable.
Which makes sense-- because everyone wants to look good
if they know other people could be watching.
You know? You think the Snapchat hot dog,
you think that hot dog is always so happy and upbeat?
No. You should see him when the camera's off.
Don't look at me. Don't look at me without the filter.
But it turns out that some police only behave better
if they know the camera is on.
You know how sometimes people say, "I'm innocent,
that cop planted those drugs," and you think, "Sure, Crackie."
Well, it turns out we might owe Crackie an apology.
NEWSWOMAN: Video recorded
on a Baltimore police officer's body camera
appears to show a city officer manipulating evidence.
During that time, you see three city officers in an alley.
Seconds later, audio of the officers begins to be recorded.
The officer is seen returning
to the spot where the three were just standing,
picking up a can and pulling drugs from it.
The same can that it appears he placed the drugs in
seconds earlier.
You know what, Baltimore police?
I'm not... I'm not angry.
I'm-I'm just disappointed.
Like, it's one thing to apparently plant evidence,
it's another to miss a golden opportunity
to look like a super sleuth.
Like, you don't just come in and be like,
"Drugs could be anywhere... Found them!"
-You don't do that. -(laughter)
You've got to play it up.
You come in, you look around...
you do that thing where you walk away,
and then you stop and go, "Oh.
"Something doesn't add up.
"Is that a can of black olives?
"The pits of olives are like rocks.
"Rock's street name for crack...
I got it!" And then you find the drugs.
(applause, cheering)
Come on!
If you're gonna frame people and send them to jail,
at least have the decency to put on a show.
Especially if you're planning to make this a regular thing.
For a second time, police officers in Baltimore
are suspected of planting evidence in a drug case,
and once again, they were exposed by their own cameras.
NEWSMAN: Body cameras were rolling
during a traffic stop last November.
The video shows Baltimore police officers
searching car for drugs.
According to the Public Defenders Office,
the officers found nothing in the car
until turning their body cameras off.
When the cameras came back on, an officer is seen squatting
by the driver's side of the suspect's car,
apparently unaware that he's being recorded.
He then stands up and steps back.
About 30 seconds pass-- another officer approaches the car.
That officer then squats down and pulls out a bag of drugs.
You know, I'm starting to wonder if the entire drug business
in Baltimore is just cops buying drugs to plant them.
That's all it seems like.
Just, like, cops coming up to dealers like, "Hey, man,
"I need some evidence, man.
You got some good evidence?"
Drug dealers like, "Nah, man, I'm out."
"Oh. Then what's this?"
"Wait! What the (bleep) just happened?!"
"I guess you just made a sale."
Like, as disturbing as these videos are,
black people have known
about police planting evidence for years.
But nobody believed them.
But now there's the technology to prove it.
It's sort of like how we've all assumed
the hotel room was covered in semen,
but then they invented the blacklight, and we were like,
"Holy (bleep)! This is a thorough coating!
"Even the ceiling!
"What's it... Wait, it's on the blacklight--
-how did that even happen?" -(laughter)
Now, look, I know, I know that two videos
doesn't prove a systemic problem in policing.
Uh, that's Stanford University's job.
NEWSWOMAN: Researchers at Stanford University
collected and analyzed 60 million state patrol stops
in 20 states.
They found black drivers are issued 20% more tickets
than white drivers,
and Hispanic drivers receive 30% more tickets
than other drivers.
Hispanic drivers were most likely to be searched,
least likely to have contraband.
Wow.
Hispanics are the ones getting the most racism?
That's... that's like finding out
the hotel room next-door has even more semen than yours.
-(laughter) -No, I mean, part of you is happy,
but the other part is like, "Aw, man, I got the nerd room!
Come on!"
Now, one of the more interesting pieces of information
that came from the Stanford study was that
in areas where police regularly make broken taillight stops,
stops of black and Hispanic people
are both about 20% more likely for broken taillights
than stops of white people.
So if you're a minority
who wants to reduce your chances of getting stopped,
you've got to make sure your taillight is never out.
And if you're thinking, "But, Trevor, that's impossible,"
you've clearly never met Leo Deblin.
-Are you tired of being pulled over -(siren blares)
for being black? Of course you are.
Police making up all kinds of reasons.
"Is this car stolen?"
"Do you have a gun?"
"Did you kidnap this white woman that's sitting next to you?"
And, of course, their favorite,
"Sir, your taillight is broken."
"Officer, I might be broke, but my taillight is just fine."
With the Leo Deblin Forever Taillight,
the police will have to come up
with a better reason to whip yo' ass.
These other punk-ass taillights brake under pressure,
but not the Forever Taillight.
This indestructible taillight is made from 100% Plexiglas.
A light so strong it'd make a baseball bat say "God damn."
Plexiglas, that's the same (bleep)
the pope got on his Cadillac.
I know what you're thinking.
How did I get my hands on some of that pope glass?
That's none of your God damn business.
What you should be asking me is if it works.
Damn right it does.
You know why I pulled you over, ma'am?
It ain't her taillight.
Nope. It's for the brick of cocaine they planted in my car.
Thanks, Leo Deblin.
With the Forever Taillight,
you ain't never got to stop for the po-po.
These police been chasing me for three hours.
But I ain't stopping, 'cause I know my taillight good,
and my white woman legal.
It ain't but $85.
You can get that from your mama.
Black don't crack and neither should your taillight.
(sirens wailing)
♪ Leo Deblin's Forever Taillight ♪
♪ And Institute of Barbering ♪
(explosion)
♪ Leo Deblin's Forever Taillight ♪
♪ And Institute of Barbering. ♪
WOOD: Exit 120 by the fairgrounds,
next to Little Caesars.
These hombres say habla español!
Thank you, Leo Deblin.