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I kind of rolled my eyes when I heard
they were making a Maleficent movie I
mean it just seems like a pointless
thing to do Maleficent is a great
villain one of the great villain she's
so charismatic and evil and loves every
minute of it and is elegant and clever
and diabolical she's given just the
right amount of screen time in the
Original Sleeping Beauty so the idea of
learning more about her past didn't seem
too bright but at the same time I was
open to it I guess when the film finally
came out it became very obvious what
they were trying to do it's the wicked
formula again trying to take a fairy
tale we all thought we knew and tell it
in a different way where the bad guy
doesn't look so bad when I figured that
out which you can very quickly in this
film I just sort of shrugged and said
whatever just give me some pleasing eye
candy it did and I didn't think too much
of it but then later when I really
thought about it it started to piss me
off like really piss me off I thought
about what they were trying to do to one
of the great villains one of the great
Disney icons turning the Mistress of all
evil into a simple case of
misunderstanding turning three of the
most likable comic reliefs into these
idiotic morons turning an iconic Disney
fairy tale that has its flaws but was
still pretty damn creative into every
other poorly cged stale story that comes
out about fairy tales nowadays you know
what this movie really sucks a lot we
start off with the backstory of
Maleficent as a little girl who
apparently had wings originally okay
this is because she was a fairy all
right well she looks kind of cool so
we'll go with it she then meets a human
boy and the grow up falling in love but
then he finds out when he's older that
if he kills Maleficent he'll be given
unbelievable power but he can't quite do
that because he's too nice I guess so he
decides to cut off her wings instead she
decides from this day on that she hates
all humanity and is just going to be
evil years later the king marries and
eventually has a daughter and you know
how this goes Maleficent comes to the
party curses the daughter and says when
she turns 16 she'll prick her finger on
a spinning wheel and die once again the
fairies are called in to take her away
and raise her but get a load of this
Maleficent always knows where the baby
is and because the fairies are too
stupid to raise a child Maleficent
actually kind of raises her herself cuz
you know she's not so bad after all once
the child grows up she eventually bumps
into Prince Charming they fall in love
and all this time Maleficent is not only
watching but actually getting on pretty
good with her because yeah this is what
we want to see one of the greatest
villains of all time having girl talk
talking about feelings chilling laughing
having all sorts of fun but what the
am I watching it finally gets to a
point where Maleficent doesn't want the
princess to die so she knocks out the
prince and tries to get them back
together because if she does fall in
love and pricks her finger maybe he can
wake her up and meanwhile the King has
gone crazy just because and he vows to
set a trap for Maleficent yeah kind of a
shock he didn't do that before so it's a
battle between Maleficent the hero and
the princess's father the villain yeah I
can tell they really got the idea about
what Disney Sleeping Beauty was all
about I won't give away what happens in
the end but remember what they did in
Frozen with the true love thing and how
they did a little bit of a Twist on it
yeah they do that here too except it was
already done and Frozen so it's not
really a Twist anymore I guess there's
one or two good things in this some of
the visuals are a little neat most of
them are pretty standard and not
rendered very well an Jolie looks pretty
cool as Maleficent she's got that
devilish smile and a cool look here or
there but while our acting is not really
bad it's not really anything that great
either the actor playing the king is
awful I mean really bad I guess he's
supposed to be like this really complex
character but he just sort of had these
weird mood swings and out of nowhere
goes nuts and none of it's convincing
and it all sounds so silly they brought
you back a day too soon I told those
three idiots lock her up in her room
something about his voice I can't
explain it I don't know if it's the
inflections or the pitch or whatever but
he just annoys the crap out of me she's
only sleeping forever and everything
else like I said is trying to turn the
story into something it isn't which okay
Wicked did something like that and once
upon a time did something like that and
they seem to work out okay but that's
part of the problem they already did it
if you're going to do it now you have to
add something really new or really
groundbreaking Wicked had good writing
and characters and music outside the
fact that it was a Twist on story we
already know this is just so standard
and not only that it takes characters
that you already loved and instead of
making them Charming in a new way it
just sucks out anything that made them
unique the fairies good God God I mean
there's dumb and then there's just
insultingly dumb it's almost like the
writer of this movie just didn't like
the person who created the fairies
originally or something and just really
wanted to stick it to them I mean they
are just so terribly written I know this
is done so that Maleficent looks more
like the star but come on this is
downright degrading and like I said
Maleficent herself is just not that
interesting I guess this could be kind
of a need spin seeing how we all know
the story and yeah it is kind of Juicy
with her getting her wings chopped off
and hating all humanity and stuff and
trying to go through a change but nobody
has written with any charm or Charisma I
give the actors credit that they're
trying to add charm and Charisma but
there's just so little to work off of
nothing about it cries that somebody had
this great idea and really wanted to
tell this story in a brand new way that
was going to just change the way you
look at everything it's obviously just
trying to do what everybody else is
doing and in the process it insults some
of our our greatest Disney characters
the fairies were awesome don't try to
make them stupid Maleficent was great
don't try to make her good the kings
were Charming don't try to make him this
I don't know if you want more
reasons why I hate it go watch the
Honest Trailers of it I guess if you're
just looking for something that's kind
of pretty a touch creative and reminds
you a little bit of those classic fairy
tales then it's a harmless waste of time
but if you're looking for something
that's going to suck you in and you
can't wait what's going to happen next
and it's very psychological and
intriguing and I don't know anything not
stale and hasn't been done a million
times then you can definitely give this
one a pass
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