FTR return!
Jon Moxley debuts his new favourite weapon: a freaking brick.
And all competing members of strong submission style specialists the Blackpool Combat Club
tap out.
WILLIAM REGAL LEAVES YOU ALONE FOR THREE MONTHS, AND NOW THIS?!
[REGAL WITH BCC] I’m Oli Davis and this is my review of AEW
Revolution 2023… in about ten minutes.
The pre-show only had one match on for a change, rather than the usual template of Orange Cassidy
comedy match, major Rampage feud blow off, and Eddie Kingston vs a Japanese wrestling
legend he’s requested to beat up.
Instead, we just had the fun crowd warmer of Mark Brisco and the Lucha Bros beating
the Vasity Athletes.
But the real star of the pre-show was RJ City, who was anchoring the broadcast like it was
an awards ceremony red carpet - which included him interview Danhausen dressed in Homer Simpson’s
Moo Moo Dress, and him recommending Toni Storm call her running hip attack ‘Sweet Cheek
Music’.
JR welcomed us to the main card by saying: ‘if you like a lot of wrestling, this is
the show for you.’
He wasn’t kidding.
There was a lot of wrestling on this show.
I’d still argue too much, with many moments and feuds not getting the time they deserved
to breathe.
However, its 3 hours 50 runtime was a massive improvement on Double or Nothing’s four
and a half hours - with the match order being perfectly booked for it to zip along.
The main card opener was AEW’s Memento feud, in that it began with the ending of Starks
beating Jericho already, concluded with Starks beating Jericho again.
They wrestled with a physical intensity that got over their hate for each other, and the
finish was really well done.
Action Andretti stopped Sammy Guevarrra from interfering, but Jericho used the bat behind
the referee’s back.
It seemed all over.
The heel was about to triumph, when Starks awesomely caught Jericho’s Judas Effect,
and then won with a Roshambo.
With no chance to breathe or play a video package, we then went straight into Christian
vs Jungle Boy - which would have really benefited from a recap of their feud, considering most
of it happened six months ago.
But all was forgiven, because Christian wrestled in a tank top adapted turtle neck!
Who needs emotional context when you’ve got a heel who looks like such a wanker?
The finish was again booked really well.
Jungle Boy hit the Conchairto he couldn’t bring himself to do a few weeks back, signaling
character growth, and delicately sold the inner turmoil of closing the casket lid on
his former mentor Christian - considering how he’d buried his own father several years
ago.
Christian and Jungle Boy, a story and feud that has spanned a year and a half, didn’t
get a video package.
The Elite vs House of Black, a story barely ten days old with no real character conflict,
got a full pre-produced rundown.
What are the rules?
Again, it doesn’t matter when you’ve got either Christian wrestling in a turtleneck,
or the Elite and House of Black wrestling, in general.The match began with Kenny Omega
and Buddy Matthews doing the pro wrestling equivalent of the Spider-Man point meme [SHOW
THEM SIDE BY SIDE], and had perfectly booked spot after perfectly booked spot from there.
Kenny and Malakai trading One Winged Angel and Black Mass attempts, then staring at each
other while sitting down.
Superkick parties.
Julia Hart interfering, getting bumped hard off the apron, and Kenny just shrugging like
‘I don’t care’.
Great near fall after great near fall.
If you listed every spot and interaction you’d like to see from these two teams interacting,
you got them here, perfectly executed, and then some.
Shockingly, after multiple big spots that felt like the ending, The House of Black won
with a Dante’s Inferno on Matt Jackson to win.
We have new Trios Champions.
A definite welcome surprise on what was otherwise a pretty predictable card, and I’m overjoyed
Malakai Black has finally won a belt.
What an underwhelming run for the Elite, though.
The team these championships were designed for.
They’re only feud since winning them from Death Triangle was Top Flight and AR Fox.
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Kenny Omega and the Young Bucks need some serious,
much better direction in this company.
Elite to WWE confirmed.
Jamie Hayter successfully defending her women’s title against Saraya and Ruby Soho was the
shortest match on the show at only 10 minutes.
There wasn’t much to note, because the memorable part was in the angle that followed.
After losing to a crucifix pin from Hayter, Soho initially threw the heels out, to then
turn on Jamie and Britt Baker.
Saraya and Toni Storm joined her to spray paint the unconscious bodies.
Bit of a rushed match, but this is the most substantial story we’ve had in the women’s
division since Baker/Rosa.
Hangman Page vs Jon Moxley could’ve been match of the night if the main event wasn’t
even more match of the night.
They continued their streak of every match being better than their last.
And the way this fourth encounter topped their previous three was stunning in its simplicity:
add barbwire to it.
There’s a table: add some barbwire to it.
Here’s two chairs set up back to back: add some barbwire to it.
Hangman Page is going to do a moonsault off the top rope outside: you better believe we’re
adding some barbwire to that.
This was a bloodbath of a Texas Death Match, with both men gushing crimson from the first
few minutes, thanks to a gruesome triangle choke from Moxley, where he stabbed Hangman’s
head with a fork.
Fork him up Moxley, fork him u-oh god I feel ill.
[SHOT OF MOX HOLDING FORK SCREEN].
And just when you think barbwire and forks are enough, Jon Moxley got out some bricks.
He stomped Hangman’s hand between them, aka a Hang hand sandwich, but whatever Page
threw back at Moxley, like Kelly Clarson, only seemed to make him stronger.
So the Hangman had to hang a man.
Page hit a Buckshot lariat while Mox was wrapped in a chain, and then used that chain to hang
him from the top rope - causing Moxley to tap.
A definitive ending, which somehow keeps Mox looking awesome, despite essentially quitting,
while building Hangman strong - potentially for MJF’s next challenger.
Samoa Joe and Wardlow did their best to follow that with a fast paced hoss fight.
They went ten minutes, whereupon Wardlow made Joe pass out in a rear naked choke - another
hugely definitive strong win.
While the story was always set up this way (Wardlow had to win as soon as he invoked
his father dying from cancer), I’m not excited for another Wardlow title run.
AEW haven’t been able to book him to the same heights since he split from MJF.
And it’s at the expense of Joe, who has been a really great TNT champion.
Joe and Wardlow, and the following four way tag title match, were actually very smart
sorbets to refresh the crowd for the impending marathon of a main event.
And while the build has been fundamentally bad, the Gunns retaining over the Acclaimed,
Team TNA and Cassidy and Danhausen was a lot of fun.
There were plenty of comedy spots, centered around AEW’s humour trinity of Danhausen,
Cassidy and Jarrett - including one amazing near fall for Team TNA (put the titles on
Jarrett, Tony, you coward!) - but really Danhausen was just there to get pinned by the Ass Boys
in a deflating ending.
Unfortunately the gamble to put the belts onto the Gunns hasn’t paid off.
They haven’t grown into them, it’s undermined a once hot tag division, and The Acclaimed
were an afterthought in this match.
Thankfully, the time for passive aggressive tweets and CM Punk PR podcasts is over.
FTR made their return in the Gunn’s post-match interview, restoring so much credibility to
the division, Dax spontaneously just started bleeding from his face.
But now it’s time for the main event: a one hour ironman match between Bryan Danielson
and MJF for the AEW Championship.
From the entrances to the final bell, to the extra time after the final bell, this was
pro wrestling perfection.
The story, the characters, the presentation, the booking.
MJF entered with an orchestra whilst wearing a Devil mask.
Excalibur said that’s more for Max’s confidence, as he can’t intimidate Danielson.
It was a story of conflict that played out through the whole stipulation.
Not just of two men who hate each other fighting over the most coveted prize in the promotion,
and arguably, to them, the world, but also of two men against the very match concept.
Of two men against their own cardiovascular conditioning.
And as Danielson’s shoulder and Max’s knee deteriorated, against their own body
parts.
Everything felt like it had at least three different layers.
Danielson brought back his old ‘I’ve got till five’ gimmick.
A neat bit of nostalgia - but really a surgically precise foreshadowing of when Max tapped later
on after getting to the ropes.
MJF knew Danielson would hold on until five otherwise.
But what makes Max so special is these added layers of conflict.
He’s not just wrestling Danielson, the Ironman stip and his own physical body.
He’s wrestling his own internal neuroses and ten thousand fans in the arena.
He worked the crowd, chucking water over a non-planted young fan, while never making
the drama feel overly gimmicky.
They went three falls each over an hour that sped by.
Danielson’s last being from a Regal Stretch.
But Max held on for a whole minute while in a heel hook to run down the clock.
Tony Khan declared a sudden death restart, that escalated the drama even more.
MJF kicked out from Danielson’s knee.
But he whacked Danielson in the head with the oxygen canister he was being tended to
by the medical team, and put him in his own submission, the LaBell Lock.
Even that wasn’t enough.
Danielson didn’t pass out.
But MJF held on and on and on, and finally, shockingly, Danielson tapped out.
A super strong, decisive finish to put Max over, but one that protects Danielson’s
finishing move.
All that time, we thought MJF was working over Bryan’s arm for his Salt of the Earth
submission, when he ended up winning with the LaBell Lock.
Absolutely excellent.
What did you think of AEW Revolution?
Let me know in the comments!
There is a 100% perfect show in this - the trios match as your opener, the Women’s
three way (for the heel turn), Mox vs Page, a comedy Tag title four way (compelte with
FTR return) then that Ironman main event.
It would’ve been a three hour show then, too.
AEW Revolution is 98%.
What about over in WWE?
Here’s Adam Blampied with 10 changes Triple H could make to WWE after WrestleMania…