what's up everybody this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the
problem but focus on the solution and today we are going to be talking about a
very serious subject domestic abuse violence all that in relationships with
all of the news surrounding Johnny Depp and his ex-wife
Amber Heard and the new audio tapes that have been released all right so the
overwhelming majority of domestic abuse victims are women so according to the
national domestic violence hotline one in three women have been victims of
severe physical violence by an intimate partner
alright that's huge one in three women all right but although the majority of
victims are women there are also many with men out there who are victims as
well but they don't speak up about it and that's something that we're seeing
right now with the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp's situation
so first let's kind of go through the timeline of what happened between these
two and get to where we're at now and I'm somebody who's actually a man who
was a victim of domestic violence in some previous really toxic relationships
and I don't really talk about it that much so I wanted to kind of share my
perspective on this situation as well a little bit later in this video
so back in 2018 Amber Heard released an open letter speaking out against
domestic violence and accusing Johnny Depp of physically abusing her not only
that but she donated all seven million dollars from the divorce settlement to
charity and to be honest with everything that's just come out it kind of seems
like that was a tactic because Amber Heard knew that the truth about this
situation was eventually going to come out so with the publicity of the me2
movement there was a time when Johnny Depp was being shunned by what seemed
the entire world this was right before the release of fantastic
the crimes of Grindelwald during this time people were pressuring JK rowling
to remove Johnny Depp from the film actually released the following
statement on her website the huge mutually supportive community
that has grown up around Harry Potter is one of the greatest joys of my life for
me personally the inability to speak openly to fans about this issue has been
difficult frustrating and at times painful
however the agreements that have been put in place to protect the privacy of
two people both of whom have experienced a desire to get on with their lives must
be respected based on our understanding of the circumstances the filmmakers and
I are not only comfortable sticking with our original casting but genuinely happy
to have Johnny Depp playing a major character in the movies so fast forward
a couple of years or about a year and a half later to today hashtag Amber Heard
is an abuser is currently trending on Twitter because some audio recordings
got released where it shows that Amber Heard was actually the abuser so let's
listen to this first clip I said no I said to you hey tell Travis would just
happen no telling which is that why and that you punched me in the fucking thing
and usually in the face and you said I didn't what the fuck are you talking
about and I watched you lie and then I thank
you I'm sorry that I didn't you across the face in a proper slot but I was
hitting me who's not punching you but you're not punched don't tell me what it
feels like to be punched you know when you fucking have a closed fist punch you
I did not fucking deck you I'm fucking was hitting you you I don't know what
the motion of my actual hand what your fine
hurt you I was how are your tongue
you're bitching about it am i you are that's the difference between you your
fucking baby because you started a fight because you start physical fights so
there's a few things that we need to discuss here when it comes to men being
the victims of domestic violence so the first one is she calls him a baby
alright so this is something that's that's common like it challenges your
manhood right like as men were made to believe oh we're we're manly we're
stronger than women like we can't be the victim of domestic violence and this is
kind of like a way that female abusers can kind of twist that on to the male
like oh you're just being a baby you should be able to take it and as a man
that perceived a notion of being manly that could make you think like oh wow
yeah you're right like I shouldn't be such a wuss I shouldn't be such a baby
then she tries to minimize what she actually did to him right so he says
that she punched him and she's saying oh that wasn't a punch that wasn't that was
just a slap you know but from his side his perception was no no no you punched
me right and we all need to understand whether you're a man or a woman like
there's a difference between like just like oh you
you're silly right and in the heat of an argument like it getting physical all
right I don't care if it's with an open hand or a closed fist none of that is
acceptable I don't care if you're a man or a woman you do not deserve to have a
partner hit you out of anger like that and the thing is too that we have to
realize that men who are abusers as well they do this to women all the time
right because let's say for example maybe they throw the woman against the
wall and she's like you hate me right he's like I didn't hit you I just pushed
you you see what I mean like these little like splitting of hairs as to
what actually happened like at the end of the day something physical happened
out of anger and that is not okay we need to understand that abuse is
abuse alright so let's listen to this next clip must so right there what she
says I can't promise you I won't get physically violent again
alright abusers often do this to they they try to make it seem as though
there's this uncontrollable part of themselves that they take zero
responsibility for right like oh it's just when I get this way when I get
angry like I have to do this like they're this complete dr. Jekyll and mr.
Hyde and they have absolutely no control over that part of themselves and that is
absolutely ridiculous and it is a manipulation tactic because the goal of
saying something like that is to make you sympathize with them alright your
abuser is trying to make you think that this is just this is like some kind of
illness that they have that it's uncontrollable and there's no help for
that part of themselves and that is not true in any way shape or form alright
because everyone everyone has the personal responsibility to get help for
their issues all right and let me repeat that for the people in the back everyone
has the personal responsibility to get help for their personal issues okay so
it's not like there's just this thing and there's no help available like what
we need to understand like I often empathize and maybe I empathize a little
bit too much but often times abusers they have a history of being abused
alright so like I don't I don't necessarily think that Amber Heard is
lying about being the victim of domestic violence of herself right but what can
happen is is when somebody's in abusive relationships one after another or even
a long-term one that becomes normalized you start to believe that that's what
relationships are supposed to be like this is often the case for children who
grew up in an abusive home when seeing you know mom and dad fight like and get
physically abusive a young child starts to believe oh this is what love looks
like you see what I mean so again like I believe that Amber Heard has been in
abusive relationships but it's her responsibility to go get help you know
what I mean it can't just be one of the things like rule that's just what I
learned so I do it because it's unacceptable so again I just want to
reiterate that the overwhelming majority of abuse victims are women okay but we
do need to start a conversation because men can be victims too
all right so again like I said from my personal perspective of somebody who has
been a victim of domestic violence the way I see it is that there's two primary
reasons why men don't seek help all right so the first one the first one
that you really need to think about is it's it's somewhat dangerous for a man
to call the cops all right to call the cops and saying hey I'm being abused by
my female partner because the stereotype is due to the majority of abuse victims
being women is that the man is the abuser so if a man does call the cops
there is a chance that he'll get arrested you see what I mean and because
of that you know that power dynamic between men and women like even if a man
like this is something that I had to be worried
even if a man defended himself like I never even defended myself I didn't want
to accidentally put my hands up to block or anything because if I accidentally
hit her like that that script can easily get flipped and
say oh he started it oh look at this bruise even if I was just defending
myself like imagine a big dude like me going in front of a judge and saying oh
that bruise on her was from me defending myself you know like just the idea that
men are typically the abusers like that's something I had to worry about
but the second reason is like I talked about a little bit earlier is is that
men are supposed to be manly right they're supposed to be able to just take
it you know and if you call the cops like what what's that saying about your
own manhood right it's this perceived sign of weakness
like other cops gonna laugh at me because my little girlfriend is beating
the hell out of me throwing stuff at me and doing all this so those are a couple
reasons why men don't reach out and call about this like I said whether you're a
man or a woman domestic abuse is never okay so I wanted to wrap up this video
by talking about some resources and one of the best resources out there is the
domestic violence hotline at least here in the United States if you're from
other parts of the country and you have resources feel free to leave them down
in the comments below so the domestic violence hotline not only do they
provide a bunch of resources for both men and women but a lot of people are
afraid to even look this stuff up because their abusive partner like goes
through their phone looks at their computer or their laptop or whatever it
is right and there's this fear that if they walk in on you looking this stuff
up they might hurt you right so check this out the domestic abuse domestic
violence hotline they have this really cool feature so check it out if you're
like browsing through their website they have this little X at the bottom
right-hand of the screen where you can click it boom shoot you to Google
it's said that you can also escape and it'll send you back to Google
I personally use Google Chrome as my web browser and something that pops up
initially says like you might need to be using Microsoft edge so I don't know if
you check it out and you want to experiment with it go for it I don't
know if my computer is just being funky baby ways like go check that out I will
also link it down in the description below but again I just want to repeat
whether you're a man or a woman domestic abuse is never okay and I want to make
it very clear to anybody watching this that you do not deserve to be treated
like that your abuser is going to try to break you down mentally emotionally then
they are going to try to manipulate you they are going to tell you that you
can't get anybody better and that you'll be screwed if you leave them and all
these other things and these are lies that they are telling you to keep
control in that situation all right so reach out there are resources available
and if you're somebody who has been traumatized by these types of situations
like please go get help like therapy is an amazing amazing tool like I have had
a traumatic past I personally go see a therapist and it helps me work through a
lot of those things sometimes there are things bubbling up in my present that I
don't even realize are coming from my past and that way I can work on them in
the here and now and start that healing process all right but anyways that's all
I got for this video if you like this video please give it a thumbs up if
you're new make sure you subscribe and bring that notification well and I want
to send out a huge thank you to everybody who supports the channel of
all patreon as well as everybody who buys my mental health books after
rewired soul comm or the mental health merch that we put out there all right
thanks again for watching I'll see you next time
you