Hey there it's Clay with relationshipinnergame.com.
Today we're talking about 5 signs that you still have a chance to get back together with
your ex.
And these are by no means an exhaustive list by any stretch of the imagination, so don't
think like oh well I don't have any signs or I only have one of those things or whatever,
therefore, I have no chance whatsoever.
It's not that way at all, I promise you.
But these are some five of the biggest signs that that are an indication that you still
have a chance to work things out with your ex.
OK so let's get into this.
The first one is that your ex still has feelings for you OK.
No notice I didn't say they still love you or they still enjoy spending time with you,
but do they still have feelings.
Any kind of feeling, right?
Even if that feeling is anger, or frustration, or anything like that.
It just shows that there's still that emotional charge when they are interacting with you,
when they're thinking of you, or anything like that.
And that is really important because you can actually leverage that emotional charge through
the Advanced Relational Skills that we teach over at relationshipinnergame.com.
I mean you can use that to leverage and help to unbox that negative emotion even if it's
anger or something like that and help to turn it into an opportunity for connection and
a much more desirable emotion like love or joy or something like that, right?
So that is the first sign that you still have a chance with your ex.
Now the second sign is that there is not a significant amount of friction, or unsurmountable
amount of friction, rather.
So, what do I mean by "friction?"
What is "friction?"
And that's where there are just lifestyle inconguencies between you and your ex, where
maybe it's like, you might live on opposite sides of the country, or something like that,
and it's very difficult for you to see each other or spend a lot of time together.
And by no means if that is the case, does it mean your situation is hopeless.
There are lots of people who've been in long distance relationships who have gotten back
together.
I've seen it.
I've watched it.
I've witnessed it, firsthand.
And it's actually not that uncommon, but just know that for certain people, there are going
to be certain types of friction that will make it more difficult, like, for example,
it just depends on your own personal values, what's important to you, what you're willing
to deal with etc.
But we'll get into that in a moment.
But things like distance, things like your family disapproving of your ex, or their family
disapproving of you, or maybe religious differences, cultural differences, things like that.
Those can all add little bits of friction.
And if the friction is too great, if there's too much of an incongruency between your lifestyles
and your values and stuff like that, then it can make it a little bit more difficult
to get back together.
So if there isn't too much friction, if the both of you are still more or less the same
people that were compatible and got together in the first place, then that's definitely
going to help out your cause.
The third sign that you still have a chance to get back together with your ex is that
you have learned how to connect with them on an emotional level.
Oftentimes a lot of people will try to connect with their ex on a sexual level where they're
trying to flirt with each other, or seduce one another, or sleep with one another, or
something like that, or kind of get something there to that there is still that element
of attraction, that element of physical connect.
But like we've talked about in other videos and in the past you really don't have to worry
about being put in the "friend zone" with your ex, OK?
So don't think that you need to force that physical connection there in order to give
significance to your relationship with them because, I promise you that is already still
there, even if they're not talking about it, even if they told you something like "I'm
just not attracted to you" or "I see you as a friend" or something like that.
I promise you you're not in the "friend zone," OK?
But if you can look past that physical connection and actually connect with them on an emotional
level where the two of you are sharing your emotional experiences, how you're connecting,
things along that line, then that's really going to help you get back together with them
because, again, like we've talked about previously, the foundation of a great relationship is
a strong emotional connection.
Obviously you need attraction to be there, but because you were together in a relationship
previously, I'm going to guess that that attraction is already there, right?
And, again, don't worry about the "friend zone."
Don't worry about that stuff, right?
What you want to focus on is the emotional connection first and then all of the physical
attraction of the flirting and romance and stuff like that, that'll take care of itself.
Now the fourth sign that you still have a chance with your ex is that you're out of
what we call "Damage Control Mode."
OK.
So when you first go through a breakup, most of us, myself included, in the past have been
in what I call "Damage Control Mode."
It's where you're in reaction to everything that your ex does where they are pulling the
strings and dictating "Hey, maybe I don't want to hang out with you this weekend.
Maybe I do want to hang out with you."
And you're freaking out because they change their mind.
That is what happens when you're in Damage Control Mode, where everything you're doing
is in reaction to your ex, in response to your ex like you're kind of dancing around
them, like you're worried about what their next move is going to be, over analyzing things,
you're walking on eggshells, that kind of mindset.
And that's what Damage Control Mode is and it's not very conducive towards getting back
together, because it's not really creating a vision of positiveness towards working towards
a great relationship together.
It's kind of just micromanaging, picking and worrying about this and that, and it's not
going to really inspire your ex to want to open up or commit to you, especially because
they don't want to feel like they have so much power over you.
It's not a great start to building that kind of equal connection in a relationship where
are both of you feel like you're equals coming together to mutually enrich each other's lives.
Instead when you're in that orientation where you're in reaction or Damage Control Mode
towards your ex, they actually feel as if they have a very large power or sway over
you, and that's not something that's very attractive and not something that's going
to really make them want to go out of their way to interact with you or to get back together
with you.
So what you want to do is get out of Damage Control Mode and that stuff that we've talked
about in the past, that stuff that we talk about an extensive detail in our newsletter
over at relationshipinnergame.com, etc.
And the fifth and final sign that you still have a chance to get back together with your
ex is if you are not willing to give up.
And I know that oftentimes people overlook this one.
They often look well they often say, "Well, what are the signs that I still have a chance?
Is my ex in a rebound relationship?
Or are they saying that they hate me?"
And it's all ex-focused, right?
But the biggest thing that there is that tells you whether or not you still have a chance
is whether or not you are still willing to go after this and not willing to give up.
Because if you are having this sort of half-hearted thing where, as soon as there's a set back,
and I promise you there will be setbacks and challenges along way towards getting back
together, but if you hit one of those challenges, if you hit one of those obstacles or road
bumps, and you start doubting yourself, you start saying, "Oh there's no hope in this
situation.
He just told me he hates me.
She has told me that were over for good and I should give up, and maybe I should just..."
if you do give up then, if you lose hope, if you let that control you, then, yeah, of
course you're more likely to give up, and of course, if you're more likely to give up,
you are less likely to actually get back together, and the smaller your chances are going to
be, right?
So you have to have this sort of mental toughness, this tenacity, this idea of knowing exactly
what it is that you want and being willing to go after it 100 percent, no matter what
sort of road bumps, or obstacles, or hurdles are thrown in your way along the path.
And this is probably the most important sign about whether or not you can still get back
together with your ex, about whether or not you still have a chance with your ex.
And if you are not willing to give up on your ex, and you're willing to do whatever it takes
to get back together with them, then here's what I'd like you to do:
I'd like you to go to my web site relationshipinnergame.com.
And I'd like you to sign up for our newsletter.
So that we can help you with strategies, and tips, and advice to help you get back together
with your ex, okay?
We send out this newsletter on a daily basis.
It covers a lot of different topics, and it helps people through a lot of different challenging
situations that, frankly, most people have never heard of, and are complete un-equipped
to deal with, unless they're on this newsletter.
So get over to relationshipinnergame.com if you want to get back together with your ex
and are willing to do whatever it takes and sign up for the newsletter.
Thank you and I'll see you in the next video.