Hi guys. Welcome back to my channel. In today's video, I wanted to sit down and talk about 15 life
lessons that I've learned since becoming a mother. Feels like it's been ages since I just sat down
and had a chat with you guys podcast style. I've made quite a few videos like this in the past,
things I wish I'd known before I became a mum, new mum advice as well. But today I really wanted
to focus on the lessons that I've learned that I'm going to take through my life with me. I
would love you guys to join in in the comments below. If there's any life lessons that you've
experienced since becoming a parent, please let us know in the comments. If you're new to this
channel and this is the first video of mine that you're seeing, then hello, I'm Emily.I'm a mum of
three. My eldest is 10, so been a mum for 10 years now, which is crazy and I really feel like I have
learned a lot. I post three videos a week, so I would love you to consider subscribing
if you like this kind of video. With all that said, let's get into
my life lessons. Also, please excuse the random flowers that I've just placed on the couch. The
background was looking so empty that I put that there, but I don't think it looks quite right.
But anyway. My first life lesson is that your goals still matter. This one might be quite a
personal one to me, but when I became a mother for the first time, I found it so all-consuming. I was
completely obsessed with my newborn baby and it was like the world stopped. I would have happily
quit my day job, stopped all my hobbies, and just focused on him all the time. I know that doesn't
happen for everyone, but that is how I felt. Now that the boys are getting older, I actually
think it's so important that you continue to set yourself goals, that you continue to
have friends and hobbies and your own life separate to the kids. My youngest son is actually
starting school in September, and I'm so grateful that I do have other things I will be able
to focus on when all of my kids are at school. For me, having goals, a career, and hobbies that
are separate to my children, make me actually feel like a better mom sometimes, although, I still
massively suffer from mum guilt. If I can go away for an hour, have a run or do something that I
love, I know that I'm going to come back with more energy and more time and be a more present parent
with my children. I would say, especially if you're a new mom, don't think you can't set
goals for yourself, don't think you can't still achieve so much. Whatever it is, if it's fitness,
if it's starting a YouTube channel like me, if it's carrying on with your career or anything,
you don't have to stop setting goals or having dreams just because you're a mother. If anything,
I think when you're a mother, you almost do more than ever. There's a saying that is the more you
do, the more you get done. I completely agree. I started this channel when I had two very young
children at home and I worked four days a week. It he was actually just crazy,
but somehow, you make things a priority. You find the time. If you give a busy mom just one hour,
it's amazing how much they can get done in that time because we are masters of multitasking.
I would say don't put anything on the back burner just because you've become a mom.
Keep your goals and your dreams. Whatever you want to do, don't think that you can't
achieve it. The next lesson I wanted to share with you is that it's okay to let your kids be
bored. I had read about this in so many different parenting books, but I actually didn't experience
how beneficial this is until we were locked down during the pandemic and all five of us were at
home for an extended period. You guys know me. If you've followed my channel for a long time,
you know that I love buying toys. I have like 50,000 million toys because I am also like a big
kid and I love playing with them. I do get quite involved. If we're playing Play-Doh or coloring,
I'm often right there with them. But during the pandemic, that was impossible because we had to
carry on working. If I had a conference call or I was doing something to do with work or helping
one child with schoolwork, there were parts of the lockdown when I was like, "You guys just have to
go and do your own thing, entertain yourself." For the first time, I experienced how good it
is to let your kids just be bored. They get so creative, theu role play, they would choose the
toys that they actually do really like. Caleb started to show a huge interest in food and in
being a chef and cooking. Jackson is so artistic and he was everything to do with drawing,
coloring, and painting. Fraser was so sporty. Actually, letting your kids be bored really does
show who they are and their interests, so don't feel the pressure to constantly be playing with
them all the time because letting your kids be bored can actually help them find out who they
really are. The next life lesson is don't sweat the small stuff. There's a book that I've read
with that title. I think it was Don't Sweat The Small Stuff Because It's All Small Stuff. That is
so true and evident when you become a parent. If you're a perfectionist, then that almost has to go
out of the window when you become a mum because there will be things out of your control and
things that are out of your hands. There have been moments in motherhood when I've genuinely thought,
"I don't know how I'm going to get through this." I've had a child with a Poonami
and then another child who's unwell, and then another child who's wanting a snack, and a work
deadline all at the same time and you're literally like, "I don't know how I'm going to do this."
But somehow, you put one foot in front of the other and you get through it
and you're okay. Lowering your standards and your expectations makes getting through
life so much easier. The next life lesson is a bit of a silly one, but I really wanted to include it,
and that is that practical and functional clothes are so much better than looking good and looking
stylish. Motherhood has 100% taught me that. I actually put this jumpsuit on state because
I wanted to show you why I love it so much. If we ever have a day out with the kids, I tend to wear
this because one, it is literally an outfit all in one and it's just done. Two, it's got
giant pockets in it that you can fit a vlogging camera, you can fit keys, you can fit phone,
you can fit everything into this outfit. I often wear leggings as well, but I like the ones with
the pockets on the sides. You can stick your phone in. It's all about pockets when you become a mum.
Also, when you have a baby, you very quickly realize that all those cute little baby shirts and
baby outfits are not comfortable and actually what they want to be in is zip-up onesies all day. That
is something I'm definitely going to be taking through the rest of my life because life's too
short. The next life lesson is that your thoughts and how you frame things and react to things is
so important. Whether you have a good day or a bad day, it really is down to you. Or I should
say it's down to us. The way you react to things, say someone spills a drink at home, I could react
to that by shouting and getting stressed out and then everyone will feel bad after that. Or I could
react by saying, "Oh, don't worry. Quick, go and get the cloth let's clean it up together."That
will literally decide how we're all going to feel for the rest of the day. I try to read
as many positive motivational books as I can. A really simple thing that you can do if you're
just feeling a bit down is think about how grateful you are for things. If you just write
down like three little tiny things that you are grateful for, it really can switch your mood and
make you feel so much better. The next life lesson is a funny one, and that is that parents are just
human. I think when you become a mom or a parent for the first time, you have a new found respect
for your own parents. You're like, "Oh wow. They would have done all of this for me." You're like,
"Actually, I can't believe that." But also, the bubble bursts a little bit because you're like,
"I'm a mom. I'm trying to figure it out. I don't actually have a clue sometimes."
Then you realize that actually your parents are just human and they did the exact same
thing. Cat's out of the bag, mom. I know you watch all my videos. But
I know you're just human now. The next one is really cliché, but it's also so true,
and that is that everything is a phase. You've probably experienced this yourself.
When your child is going through teething or the four month sleep regression, you realize that it
all is just a phase or I've also heard people call it a season or a chapter, which is quite nice,
but what I've learned, and this is something that I'm going to carry through my life as well,
is that yes, all of the bad things or the hard things, they're all a phase and they will change,
they will develop, and they'll get over it. If you've got a fussy eater, don't worry because one
day, chances are they'll probably eat everything. But not only are the bad things and the hard
things are phase, but the really good things are as well. When you have a little six month old
who just sits there and they're all chubby and just beautiful and you just want to eat them,
that phase goes as well. Or when you have a really chatty little one-year-old, that will go as well,
so just really... I know it's very cliché, but try to enjoy it as much as you can.
At the moment, the boys are just such lovely ages. As I said, they're 10,
seven and four. They want to hang out with me all the time, they want to be my best friend,
and I'm just really trying to soak that up because I know the good stuff is as much a phase as
the hard stuff. The next one is actually one from Matt. Last night when I was talking about
this video and I was like, "I've got all of these life lessons." I was like, "Have you got any life
lessons?" He said, "You can't please everyone." That is just so true. I would say you can't
be ready and prepared for everything and you also can't please everyone, so don't try to.
There are times... You know I like to plan. When I go on holiday we pack absolutely everything. But
I will guarantee that on a day when we go out and I've got my bag full of stuff, that's the
day that someone's going to cut their knee and I just won't have a plaster or band-aid on me.
You can't prepare for every single thing, so don't be hard on yourself. Also, with people, you can't
please everyone, so you might as well please yourself or follow your own routine or do what's
best for your child or for you at all times. Sometimes people will think you're selfish or
not understand, but at the end of the day, if it's going to make your life easier, then just do it.
There were times with my first one, I would agree to go to parties that were at bad times,
or just say yes to everything when really I should've been selfish for the sake of him and for
our sanity. The next life lesson that I've learned since becoming a mother is unconditional love.
I've heard about people talk about unconditional love before I was a parent, but I don't think
I personally had experienced until I had my own kids. I'm not saying that you have to be a mother
to have unconditional love. You might feel it for your sister or your friend or your pet,
but for me, actually, a lot of my relationships it's conditional love. With my husband,
it's conditional on the fact that he treats me well and all of that. Whereas with the kids,
of course, I will love them no matter what. I really want them to feel that even if they mess up
or they do something wrong, I want them to be able to come to me and just know
that I will love them either way, all the way through, and just make them feel super secure.
The next life lesson is don't compare yourself to others. I say that I learned this
in motherhood because when I became a new mom, I used to compare myself to others
at play groups. I would compare my baby as well and constantly be thinking about his development.
But then I quickly realized that there's no point in doing that. All babies are different. They all
grow at different rates, and actually, they all catch up with each other. Now the boys are older,
they're very similar to their peers. Matt often jokes that when they're 18 and they're going for
a job interview, no one's going to ask them how old they were when they potty-trained,
no one's going to ask them when they knew their whole alphabet. No one's going to care when
they're older all these little things that we get worked up about like can they write their name?
Actually, in the grand scheme of things, they'll catch up and it will all be fine, so don't compare
yourself to others in motherhood. But also, that's something that I'm just going to take through
my life. I definitely do that in business as well. I try to just focus on what I'm doing and grow my
own grass. What's that saying? Water your own grass. Just focus on that because it doesn't
serve you. The next life lesson is to be present in the moment as much as you can. That's easier
said than done because we live in such a busy world. Everyone is so hardworking, the kids have a
million clubs, they have amazing social lives, and we can assess everything through this, which is
normally in our pocket or in our hand. As much as you can, try and be present even if it's for just
10 minutes to chat to them about what they're interested in. I'll often go on the trampoline
with the kids. I can't access my phone there. They just love having that present moment. It does
wonders for your mental health as well. I also find that the kids have loads to talk about when
it's bedtime. I don't know if you guys experienced that as well, but they won't have anything to say
and then as soon as it's bedtime, they'll open up and tell you loads about their day.
But my point is, try and be present. I'm trying to be a bit more mindful as well. The next lesson is
that guilt is not helpful. I have really struggled with mum guilt. I've talked about it before.
For me, the second that I became pregnant, I started to experience guilt. Whatever I ate or
did during pregnancy, I'd feel guilty and then it just carried on and got stronger
when the baby and the children were actually here. Even if I go and have my nails done or go
and have a hair appointment and leave them for a little bit, I would eat myself up about it. I
would feel really bad about it. When it comes to fitness, I feel, for me, that's one guilt-free
way of having me time because I can justify in my head that it's actually for my health
and if I'm healthier and I don't get sick as much, then it's better for the kids overall. That's
how my brain weirdly works. But I recently saw something that actually really helped.
There was a woman on Instagram. I think you pronounce it... Her name's Anna Martha.
I follow her and she's got some good reels. She said the other day that she literally had
a phone charger in her hand and she was like, "Every time your battery runs out,
just think of yourself actually plugging yourself into the wall. Every time you have a tiny bit of
me time or do something for yourself, visualize you're literally charging yourself into the wall
and don't feel guilty about it. Everyone needs to recharge and come back stronger. The next lesson
is one I've talked about a million times on this channel, but it is that routine is everything.
It has just helped me so much having a routine while I've been a mother. That's something I'm
definitely going to carry on. I guess I'm that way inclined. But also, if you're a bit of a
perfectionist, I found having some kind of routine as a parent would just give you back a tiny bit of
control because everything can be up in the air. If you know, "Okay. They're going to go to bed
at this time, so I can do that. They're going to have a nap at this time, I'm going to eat at
this time." Just really massively helped me. In motherhood or parenting, I find that if you get
the small things right, it can make such a difference. All the unimportant things like just
making sure meal times are at the right times, bedtimes, if you get all the small things right,
then life is just so much smoother. The last lesson is one to do with your significant other.
It's something that I definitely learned during parenting. That is to be a team and don't keep
score. When we became parents for the first time I used to think, "Oh, why doesn't my husband just
do that or know to do this, or know to do that." But actually, at the end of the day, if you just
work together as a team and whatever gets done, it doesn't matter who has done what
as long as it happens and you're strong together. That was more evident than ever during the
lockdown when we were all at home and we were trying to homeschool, work, keep the house going,
and everything else. It doesn't actually matter. There's no point in arguing about it. We just need
to work together and all pitch in. That is all the lessons that I wanted to share with you guys.
I hope you found it interesting. As I said, please put any of your life lessons in the comments down
below. Yeah. Thank you so much for watching. I'll see you in my next one. Bye guys.