They kidnapped her onto the set of Bridgerton!
She's like: "wait a minute, I'm on the wrong Netflix show.
What's going on?"
[intro music]
At this point, I feel like I'm probably the only person in the world,
definitely at least the only reader in the world,
who has yet to watch Shadow and Bone beyond episode one.
Like I said, I'm taking my time.
A lot of people were like "oh my god, I don't know how you can do that.
I don't how you can just not binge through the show.
Man, you have so much willpower."
I really don't. It's just called depression, anxiety,
and staying in my bed the whole time. But a good temporary cure for that
is going to be escapism, which is watching episode two finally,
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So, like I said, I have not watched beyond episode one,
I have been doing my best to avoid spoilers.
So, make sure you extend the same courtesy,
by avoiding writing any spoilers in the comments
beyond the current episode that I'm going to watch.
The only spoilers that I do know, is actually a few exclusive clips
that I got to see ahead of time. In case you missed it,
I was invited by Netflix to watch some of the pivotal moments of this show,
and give my reactions to them. They posted it on their YouTube channel,
I'll link to it in the description below if you're interested in checking that out.
I also appeared for like three seconds in another video
with Leigh Bardugo and Jenny Han. I was also invited to the writers' room
with Netflix, to brainstorm content ideas, too.
So, it was just a really cool opportunity all around.
They're super nice. They really, really care about getting the show right
and making sure that a lot of people enjoy it for what it is.
I think I get so much anxiety around the show sometimes,
because the fandom can be so toxic.
But when I get these opportunities and when I get to enjoy the episodes
it really goes to show that, aside from what other people may think
or argue about, or the discourse that happens surrounding
these fictional characters, at the end of the day,
this is a show, this is a story that you can just simply enjoy.
That's the whole purpose of it. You can sit back and enjoy,
and it doesn't have to be that deep.
With that in mind, let's go ahead and watch episode two.
Ooh! We have the title card already.
Literally me on my first day of my period.
"Don't you want to know if you're Grisha?"
"Not if we can't go together."
Aw! She doesn't want to take the Grisha test because
she doesn't want to leave him in case one of them ends up being a Grisha.
Ooh, girl, you're going to be in for a rude awakening.
This is why I love childhood friends to lovers.
It's just so wholesome and pure and sweet-
OH MY GOD! The parallels!
Bitch, they get me every time with the parallels.
Oh my god, he's gonna hold her hand again!
Dude, we're not even five minutes into this episode- [gasps]
He got whisked away!
Dude! The fucking parallels.
Because that's gonna show how they're gonna finally be separated.
Dude, they're not giving me enough time to process.
"But that doesn't solve this problem, does it!?"
"—If I can't correct this none of us are going anywhere.
—And if you do? —Then maybe you stay here!"
[gasps] Kaz! Don't raise your voice against Inej.
She's done nothing wrong.
I am a big proponent in believing that everybody makes mistakes
and everyone has flaws, and we should all be accepting and empathetic
to one another for that. However, Inej is the only exception,
because she has no flaws. She has never done anything wrong.
Ever. In her life. Maybe she does have a flaw:
loving a fool like you, Kaz!
"Bring her closer."
There we go! General Kirigan.
All the panties are gonna fly through in the air now.
Wait [laughs] So, all this time
he's just been waiting for her to be escorted in,
but his back is turned the entire time?
For what? Everybody else was just staring at the doorway,
waiting for her to come in. This guy is so extra.
He's just staring at the wall and he's like: "alright, is she coming?
Is she coming? You'll let me know when she's coming, right?
I gotta make sure to turn at the perfect time.
That way I look cool in front of this girl."
"—What are you? —Alina Starkov-"
"Answer the question. WHAT are you?"
White men asking me what am I so they can figure out what kind of Asian I am.
"There was a searing light."
"It was her."
"Is this true? Can you summon light?"
What if she just had a really great flashlight?
What if she just took out her iPhone and put on the flashlight app?
Because I'm telling you, when you turn that shit on
at 3 am when you're trying to get to the bathroom,
that shit is bright.
Oh, Mal! You're separated from your girl!
Ooh, he's gonna try to hobble his way out,
because he's gonna be like: "oh my god, I need to see Alina right now."
But then he runs towards the tent, and then suddenly
a burst of searing light goes up into the air. And then he just stares,
because he's so confused. That's gonna be my prediction.
"—Corporal, you're wounded! —She's in trouble."
I KNEW IT! I literally just predicted this scene line by line.
Ooh, I love that filter! It's giving me Instagram vibes.
"Alina."
OH! He's so heartbroken!
OH NO!
Mal, it's okay babe. It's okay, you'll get her.
"Inej!"
Oh, he feels-- dude, he's the kind of person where like
if he gets into any kind of argument with Inej,
he will think about it the entire time until it gets resolved.
Probably even after it gets resolved, he would still think about it.
Oh my god, Kaz Brekker versus Abraham Lincoln.
Who will win the fight?
Mm, you sure wish you didn't get into a fight with Inej, don't you?
Because she could have slayed him like real quick.
You wouldn't even be in this position.
A shadow would just flash through the room, and then
all three of those men would be dead.
Inej! She could take a shot. That's for sure.
"No. It's more than that. I've seen the way Kaz looks
when he says Pekka's name."
I love how the two of them are very observant with one another.
They're always like "oh, I know that look"
Like, they can read each other's facial cues and physical cues very well
without actually showing physical proximity to one another.
Like, you can be intimate, without actually showing physical intimacy.
"Never make decisions out of fear, Jesper. Only out of spite."
Yeah, Kaz is the kind of bitch that holds a grudge forever.
"You're lying about where you're from because you fled."
Wow, he's able to find a way to get through the Fold unnoticed,
just by seeing the way that this random stranger dealt with cards across a room.
Pack it up, Sherlock Holmes!
"He left us with a stage performer who took us in for a few nights.
Poppy."
Poppy! I love that singer!
"Get in."
Ooh, they're gonna force her into the carriage,
and then she's only gonna see Mal chasing after her,
after she's gonna get into the carriage.
And then they're both gonna scream each other's names.
"—Mal! —Alina!"
Oh my god, Mal!
"I didn't know! I didn't know!"
Oh my god.
[gasps] No! He couldn't run after her because of his injury!
Zoya, you better get out of his business.
You're hot, but, she can go be hot with
another character that I can't say due to spoilers.
Ooh, I love that we're gonna see all of her knives.
She's so cool! The flick of her jacket.
Oh my god, her hair is so beautiful.
Dude, look at how shiny it is! Holy shit.
Dude, how can someone be so beautiful?
♪ So this is love
♪ So this is what makes life divine
♪ I'm all a glow
♪ And now I know
"—I need you to kill a man for me. —Oh, why me?"
Ha. Jesper's like: "why me? It's your turn to kill the man now!"
"Jesper! New job."
Is she gonna ignore Kaz the entire episode?
Cause, good. The silent treatment is what he deserves.
That way he can pine for her even more.
"Out here, when you're different, when you look different,
everything is at risk of becoming a fight."
"Do you know why the Little Palace has walls in the first place?"
Oh, this dialogue is gonna show how Alina is slowly starting
to see the appeal of being in the Little Palace.
Because she's been so used to being ostracized her whole life for being different,
but in the Little Palace your differences are celebrated.
The Little Palace is like: "we don't care if you're white, black, yellow or purple.
We don't see color here. As long as you serve for general Kirigan."
Oh my god, the fuck?
Holy shit. That was a headshot right there.
This scene is sponsored by Arrowhead.
An arrow through your head.
Oh my god. How can the Grisha die so easily?
Cause these Fjerdans don't have any powers.
They're just using regular knives and arrows. Come on!
Am I supposed to believe that people with magic can die from plain weapons?
[gasps] Oh my god, girl! You better run.
Girl, use your powers! Use your flashlight, girl!
Fucking blind his eyes.
OH! General Kirigan, here to save the day!
Ah! Here he is. A hero.
He gotta have his hero moment.
[gasps] BRO!
BRO! He got cut in half! HOLY SHIT.
Slicing and dicing!
Oh my god, Ben Barnes.
"You ride with me."
Ooh! That adrenaline rush!
"—I mean it. We need a demo man. —You ask for an explosives expert on every job."
I like that. I like that they hints to Jesper wanting an explosive expert.
If you know, you know.
"Inej refuses to kill."
Inej refuses to kill? I thought she's killed people before.
Mm. Maybe she's only killed out of self-defense
but she doesn't want to kill willingly.
"—Stop. Please! —Why?"
"My tailbone is killing me."
Stop it, my ass hurts! Here, look at this ass, Ben Barnes.
You know you want it.
"For your face."
Of course even his napkin is black.
Ooh, he's gonna keep that napkin. He's gonna smell it tonight, when he goes to bed.
She looks good in red. And he looks good in black.
Hmm. [sighs] I miss Mal, though.
"You may well be the first of your kind,
but we've always had a name for you."
Yes. The name is not-like-other-girls.
"With proper training, some amplification, you could well be-"
"No!"
Ooh, he's not used to hearing the word "no".
"I don't want any of this. Why can't you get rid of it?"
Girl, that is not how it works.
"Were you tested as a child?"
AWW! She didn't want to leave him! Oh my god, she has such long lashes.
Damn. Pretty as a kid and as an adult? That's just not fair.
Of course, we gotta have the prolonged staring.
That was a good way to get the two of them alone together,
so that they can share a scene. Because by showing the Fjerdans attack,
they were also able to explain who Fjerdans are at the same time.
So, good job writers!
[gasps] OH! Oh my god! Mal's gonna be so worried!
"Alina. Is she alright?"
"She is with General Kirigan."
[gasps]
"You left her alone with one man?"
Oh my god, Mal!
Dude, you better get your girl! You know General Kirigan is too charming.
If this took place in the modern day world, he would be the kind of boyfriend
that would ask Alina to block General Kirigan from her Instagram
because he doesn't even want the guy to like her posts.
"All I know is she's not worth the risk."
"She's worth it, sir."
She's worth it! YES! She's worth it!
"My sergeant schooled us about Grisha. He said we would win this war
because one of them was worth 50 of us.
When I lost half my company, they said it was an acceptable ratio."
Oh, so he's bitter because he doesn't even feel like
Grisha is really looking out for the common people.
"How long before they are just as useless as the rest of us?"
Ooh. That's fair because, looking at that battle scene
between the Grisha and the Fjerdans, again, they didn't do shit.
They were supposed to have magical powers
but they couldn't even fend off a bunch of arrows?
Come on.
Doesn't one of them do stuff with air? You can't fucking move the arrows
with the air, with the direction of the wind? Like, bro.
"Was that sign damaged before?"
"Saints! Where was that?"
[laughs] Oh my god, Jesper.
He's fucking funny.
"—Boys! Would you- —It's been a while, Poppy."
[gasps] Poppy! Oh my god, Poppy's a new character, right?
I don't remember a Poppy in the books.
Dude! I love this character! Who are they?
Dude, look at fucking Poppy! They are serving looks.
I love their cute little gun, too. It's like the perfect pocket size
to put in your cute little purse.
"She wanted you to do that so that she could have the messenger followed."
[gasps]
"—She wouldn't hurt him, would she? —She would, if it meant hurting me."
Oh my god.
"...to ransack my apartment."
"To find records of the children you sold to the brothels."
Oh, so she can set them free.
"You've got it all wrong, I'm not in her business. I'm a smuggler."
"You steal people."
Yeah, smugglers are still bad.
"—[gasps] Please, please, please! —Give me names."
"How old were you when you were taken?"
"Who are you looking for? Your parents? Your sibling?"
Oh, she's looking for her parents.
"Brother."
Brother? [gasps]
"He was 12. I don't know where he went."
Wait, Inej had a brother? I don't remember that in the books.
I wonder if they're gonna do more with that.
"You follow the faith, too?"
[gasps]
"—It isn't worth more than what we get with him alive."
Oh my god...
"You choose him over my freedom?"
"You assume it's one or the other."
Oh, this scene is so heartbreaking.
Wow. Inej did such a great job at this scene. You can really feel her pain
from just everything that she's been through.
Not me getting teary-eyed.
"You'll be safe here. The palace is the most secure building in the whole country."
This place is the most protected place of all of Ravka, just like the White House
except we're also gonna see racist protesters be able to get in [laughs]
Oh, wait! Isn't that the Fjerdans?
How is it that even when she looks disheveled she still looks good?
That's just not fair.
Dude, this actress was like: this is my moment!
I'm gonna get the Emmy's right here with this sobbing scene!
Act your ass out Jessie Mei Li! Let's go!
That's a cute bedroom!
I mean, sure, you've been ripped away from all of your friends, but
at least you be looking cute.
Oooh, is that a bathtub? Oh my god.
They kidnapped her onto the set of Bridgerton!
She's like: "wait a minute, I'm on the wrong Netflix show.
What's going on?"
You know, for a palace, these walls are fucking thin,
because you can hear footsteps everywhere.
Ooh, I do wonder if that little object is gonna end up being useful later.
Mal is on a journey! Gotta find your girl!
"You can't just walk in there, Mal. That place is a fortress
filled with people who can kill you with merely a clean line of sight."
I mean, after seeing that battle scene, with them against the Fjerdans,
I'm sure he'll be fine. He could just grab a freaking arrow and throw it at them.
And apparently that's good enough to kill them.
Wow, I really love that the directing cuts between scenes
between the two of them- WOW! And they're gonna look at each other.
This is so good! SO good!
Oh my god, the hands! Dude!
And the fucking violin music.
Oh my god, bitch!
I love that. I love the way that whole scene is being directed.
Oh my gosh! Bitch, not me getting teary-eyed.
AWW! That was a sweet ending! [gasps] No, I'm getting teary-eyed!
Oh my god, I really am getting teary-eyed, though.
Wow.
This episode was not as action-packed compared to the first one,
with the grand light scene that happened.
It's a slower episode, that's more necessary just to set up
the relationships between the characters.
Like, now you know a little bit more about Inej's background,
and how much Kaz and Inej mean to each other,
even though they don't show it overtly. It's the things that they do for each other,
even if it's not in front of each other. Obviously, you show how much
Alina and Mal miss each other, now that they're far apart.
I love the parallels between who they are as kids, mimicking the same thing
as what they're doing in present day. Even when they're separated.
That's so freaking good.
Oh, I loved that.
Wow! The Malina stans are in for a fucking treat.
See you next time for episode three,
unless you un-subscribe. Which I hope you do. Goodbye!
[Music: So This is Love - Michaela McClain]