(LULLABY PLAYING)
(GIGIO SNORING)
- WELL, LOOKS LIKE OUR LITTLE FRIEND FROM ITALY
HAS HAD A VERY ROUGH CROSSING.
(GIGIO SNORING)
- SHH, PLEASE, SPEAK IN A LOW VOICE.
- WELL, I HAVE TO DISTURB YOU, I HATE TO DISTURB YOU
BUT EVERYONE'S WAITING FOR YOU, GIGIO.
YOU KNOW, ON THIS SHOW WE DON'T COME HERE TO SLEEP,
WE'RE HERE TO SING AND DANCE.
- WHAT? ALL RIGHT, YOU CAN SING OR DANCE.
IT WOULD NO BOTHER ME. (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
- NO, BUT YOU SEE, (LAUGHS) YOU DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND,
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S SUPPOSED TO SING AND DANCE.
- HUH, WHO? ME?
- YES, YOU. DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID ON OUR SHOW
IN LONDON? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT, ABOUT A MONTH AGO?
- (GIGGLES) YES, I REMEMBER. I REMEMBER VERY WELL.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
I REMEMBER JUDY GARLAND (GIGGLES).
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
SHE SING,
♪ SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW ♪
- THAT'S VERY, VERY GOOD, YOU HAVE A FINE VOICE.
YOU CERTAINLY HAVE A VERY FINE MEMORY.
- (LAUGHS) OF COURSE, ELEPHANTS NEVER FORGET.
- BUT YOU'RE NOT AN ELEPHANT.
- OH, I THOUGHT I LOST MY TRUNK.
- (LAUGHS) OKAY, I SEE.
WELL, IT'S JUST WONDERFUL TO HAVE YOU HERE HONESTLY, GIGIO.
NOW, HOW LONG DO YOU INTEND TO STAY IN OUR COUNTRY?
- OH, YOU LIKE ME TO STAY?
- EVERY ONE ON OUR SHOW AND EVERY ONE IN OUR
CITY WOULD LIKE YOU TO STAY HERE, YES.
- OH OKAY. THEN I BECOME A CITIZEN (LAUGHS).
- WOW, WE'D LOVE THAT!
BUT, YOU KNOW, BEFORE YOU CAN BEFORE A CITIZEN,
YOU MUST KNOW CERTAIN THINGS ABOUT OUR COUNTRY.
WHAT IS THE NAME OF OUR PRESIDENT?
- WASHINGTON.
- [ED] NO NO NO NO, THAT'S THE NAME OF OUR CAPITAL.
- OH (GROANS).
- [ED] OUR PRESIDENT'S NAME IS KENNEDY.
- KENNEDY. - THAT IS RIGHT.
NOW WHAT WAS THE NAME OF OUR VERY FIRST PRESIDENT?
- KENNEDY! (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
- OH NO, IT WAS WASHINGTON.
(GIGIO GROANING)
NOW TELL ME, WHERE IS ALL THE MONEY MADE?
- WASHINGTON.
- [ED] WELL, THAT'S GOOD.
AND WHO MAKES THE MONEY?
- KENNEDY. (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
(GIGIO LAUGHING)
- NOW, SINCE YOU'VE BEEN IN NEW YORK YOU'VE BEEN DOING
SOME SIGHT SEEING SINCE YOU'VE BEEN HERE?
- OH YES (LAUGHS).
- [ED] WHERE'D YOU GO?
- I GO TO STATUE OF LIBERTY, EMPIRE STATE BUILDING.
- [ED] AND DID YOU GO UP TO THE ROOF OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING?
- OH YES, ALL THE WAY UP!
- ISN'T IT AMAZING HOW THAT ELEVATOR WHISKED YOU
RIGHT UP FROM THE STREET, IN NO TIME AT ALL?
- HUH? ELEVATORS?
- OH, YOU DON'T MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU WALKED ALL THE WAY
UP THOSE 1,222 STEPS?
- 1,223! (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
- [ED] UH OH, I'M SORRY.
- OH I AM TIRED. (GIGIO SNORING)
- GIGIO, I KNOW YOU MUST BE TIRED, BUT BEFORE YOU
GO TO SLEEP I'VE GOT A GOOD TIP FOR YOU.
BECAUSE TO RELAX, YOU SHOULD FIRST GO OVER THERE
IN THAT AMERICAN SHOWER. (GIGIO SNORING)
AND GET AND TAKE A NICE WARM SHOWER.
YOU WALK OVER THERE AND RELAX. (GIGIO SNORING)
WOULD YOU DO THAT?
- OKAY, OKAY. I GO TO TAKE SHOWER.
BE RIGHT BACK. - [ED] ALL RIGHT.
- ALL RIGHT (GIGGLES)
EDDY. - YEAH?
- WILL YOU PLEASE HELP ME TO TAKE OFF MY SHIRT?
- OH, OF COURSE, OF COURSE, HERE.
LET ME PULL THIS RIGHT OFF OVER YOUR LITTLE HAND HERE.
(GIGIO GIGGLING) ONE PART OF IT UP THERE.
I THINK YOU'RE HOLDING ON TO IT HERE.
(GIGIO LAUGHING) (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
COME ON, COME ON, LET ME GET IT OFF THERE. THERE YOU GO.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH (LAUGHS).
(GIGIO BLOWS A RASPBERRY)
EDDY. - [ED] YEAH?
- I WOULD LIKE TO SING A SONG. - [ED] WELL YOU GO RIGHT AHEAD
AND SING A SONG IN THE SHOWER.
(GIGIO CLEARING THROAT)
(GIGIO'S VOICE SQUEAKING)
(SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
- [ED] HEY LOOK OUT! HERE, BE CAREFUL!
(GIGIO GROANING)
- MAMA! I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY, WHEN MY VOICE GO UP
MY PANTS GO DOWN.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
- WELL, I GUESS THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'VE BECOME SO EMOTIONALLY
INVOLVED IN YOUR SINGING.
- (GIGGLES) OH YES, THAT IS RIGHT.
WE ITALIANS ARE PASSIONATE.
WE BURN LIKE FIRE.
- TAKE A SHOWER.
- OKAY, OKAY (GROANS)
WHEN YOU ARE SMALL, YOU ALWAYS LOSE (GROANS).
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
- NOW TAKE YOUR SHOWER.
(GIGIO SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
- NOW, WAIT, WAIT. GIGIO, I THINK THAT'S ENOUGH.
(GIGIO SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
NO, NO, YOU CAN COME OUT NOW.
(GIGIO SINGING) HERE, LET ME HELP YOU OUT.
- [GIGIO] OH, NO, NO. DON'T OPEN, DON'T OPEN.
- OH, YOU LITTLE FAKER.
YOU HAVE AN UMBRELLA OVER YOU ALL THE TIME.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
YOU'RE A NAUGHTY BOY, COME ON OVER HERE.
- NO NO, HELP! HELP! - I WANT YOU TO TAKE A SHOWER.
NOW COME ON, NOW COME ON, YOU GET RIGHT IN HERE.
- NO NO! - NOW STOP IT.
STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT.
(GIGIO GARBLING) THERE YA ARE, THERE YOU--
(GIGIO GROANING) (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
- MAMA MIA! IT IS A FLOOD!
(GIGIO SNEEZING) (GIGIO SPEAKING ITALIAN)
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) (GIGIO SNEEZING)
- I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, BUT IT WAS YOUR OWN FAULT.
- [GIGIO] EDDY? - YES?
- [GIGIO] I CAN STILL BECOME A CITIZEN?
- YES, BUT YOU MUST, YOU MUST NOT BE A
NAUGHTY BOY WHILE YOU'RE OVER HERE.
(GIGIO GROANING)
NOW, YOU PUT ON A DRY NIGHT GOWN, GET INTO BED,
AND THEN YOU GO TO SLEEP.
(GIGIO SNEEZING)
BE A GOOD BOY.
(GIGIO GIGGLING)
- EDDY. - [ED] YEAH?
- (GIGGLES) TUCK ME IN, PLEASE.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
- I'LL TUCK YOU IN BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE A GOOD BOY.
(GIGIO GIGGLING)
- HEY EDDY? - [ED] YEAH?
(GIGIO LAUGHING)
- KISS ME GOOD NIGHT. (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
- I'LL BE VERY GLAD TO KISS YOU GOOD NIGHT
BECAUSE YOU'RE A GOOD LITTLE BOY (KISSES).
(GIGIO LAUGHING)
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
- GOOD NIGHT, PAISANO.
(ORCHESTRA PLAYING)
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)