YOU KNOW, WE TALK A LOT ABOUT DONALD TRUMP ON THIS SHOW.
DON'T KNOW IF YOU NOTICED.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT ONCE IN A WHILE, IT'S NICE
TO STOP LOOKING AT ALL THE HORRIBLE THINGS TRUMP IS DOING
AND FOCUS, INSTEAD, ON THE HORRIBLE THINGS HIS CABINET IS
DOING.
TONIGHT WE'RE DOING THAT IN A NEW SEGMENT WE'RE CALLING
"SKELETONS IN THE CABINET."
THAT WAS A VERY DIRECT LITTLE GRAPHIC WE HAD THERE.
>> Jon: YEAH, LITERAL.
>> Stephen: "SKELETONS IN THE CABINET."
A CABINET WHAT, DO YOU EXPECT TO BE IN THERE?
A SKELETON.
TONIGHT'S SKELETON: HEAD OF THE ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY,
SCOTT PRUITT.
( LAUGHING ) PRUITT IS NO STRANGER TO THE
ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY, BECAUSE WHEN HE WAS OKLAHOMA
ATTORNEY GENERAL, HE SUED THE E.P.A. MORE THAN A DOZEN TIMES.
PUTTING PRUITT IN CHARGE OF THE E.P.A. IS LIKE PUTTING VOLDEMORT
IN CHARGE OF HOGWARTS, WHICH, OF COURSE, IS IMPOSSIBLE, BECAUSE
TRUMP ALREADY PICKED HIM TO RUN HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES.
AND SINCE-- SINCE-- ( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: A LOT OF VOLDEMORT FANS HERE TONIGHT.
A LOT OF VOLDEMORT FANS.
MISUNDERSTOOD.
AND-- NO HE WAS A REALLY NICE STUDENT, VOLDEMORT.
SO NICE.
VERY SMART.
AND SINCE TAKING OFFICE, PRUITT HAS SPENT MORE TIME PROTECTING
HIMSELF THAN THE ENVIRONMENT BECAUSE UNLIKE PREVIOUS HEADS OF
THE E.P.A., PRUITT IS HIRING A DOZEN MORE AGENTS TO WORK IN
SHIFTS PROVIDING HIM ROUND-THE-CLOCK PROTECTION.
OVER A DOZEN?
TO PUT THAT INTO PERSPECTIVE, ERIC TRUMP ONLY HAS TWO SECRET
SERVICE AGENTS, AND THAT'S JUST TO KEEP HIM FROM CHOKING ON
LOOSE CHANGE.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT IT'S DELICIOUS.
QUARTERS ARE DELICIOUS.
SHINY.
BUT DON'T WORRY, THE E.P.A. IS TAKING SOME ACTION, BECAUSE LAST
WEEK, PRUITT PULLED E.P.A.
SCIENTISTS OUT OF A CLIMATE CHANGE CONFERENCE TALK.
OH, THAT IS A NERD, NERD PUNISHMENT.
"GENTLEMEN, YOU CANNOT PARTICIPATE IN THAT ACADEMIC
CONFERENCE.
I'M ALSO BANNING USB DRIVES, LANYARDS AND DOBBS WHETHER
MARVEL HAS OVEREXTENDED ITS UNIVERSE.
FOR THE RECORD, IT HAS.
( LAUGHTER ) IT HAS.
ACCORDING TO THE E.P.A.'s OFFICIAL STATEMENT, THE
SCIENTISTS WOULD BE PERMITTED TO ATTEND BUT NOT SPEAK, BECAUSE
"IT IS NOT AN E.P.A.
CONFERENCE."
YES, E.P.A. SCIENTISTS CAN SPEAK ONLY AT E.P.A. CONFERENCES, JUST
LIKE ONLY GUYS NAMED TED CAN GIVE TED TALKS.
( LAUGHTER ) THAT'S WHO THEY MEAN.
THAT'S WHO THEY MEAN, THAT GUY RIGHT THERE.
HE'S A GOOD GUY.
YOU'D LIKE HIM.
HE'S A GOOD GUY.
AND WHO IS BEHIND THIS INFLAMMATORY, WILDLY POLITICAL
EVENT THAT PRUITT DOESN'T WANT SCIENTISTS SPEAKING AT?
THE NARRAGANSETT BAY ESTUARY PROGRAM.
THAT'S RIGHT, N-BEP.
AND NOW SCIENTISTS AND CITIZENS ALIKE ARE PROTESTING PRUITT'S
MUZZLING OF THE E.P.A.
GREAT JOB, SCOTT PRUITT.
IF YOU HADN'T MADE SUCH A BIG DEAL OF THIS, NOBODY WOULD EVEN
BE TALKING ABOUT THE NARRAGANSETT BAY ESTUARY
PROGRAM.
MOST PEOPLE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL AN ESTUARY IS.
UNTIL TODAY, I THOUGHT HAVING TOO MUCH ESTUARY IS WHAT CAUSED
MEN TO GROW BREASTS.
>> Jon: OH, OH!
YEAH, SOMETHING LIKE, THAT RIGHT?
GLUT.
>> Stephen: BUT WITH PROSECUTE IN CHARGE, THE
SILENCING OF CLIMATE SCIENTISTS COULD CONTINUE, WHICH MEANS THEY
NEED TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO COMMUNICATE THEIR FINDINGS AT
CONFERENCES WHERE THEY'RE ALLOWED TO ATTEND BUT NOT SPEAK.
AND I BELIEVE THEY CAN DO THAT WITH A SIMPLE GAME OF CHARADES.
JON, WILL YOU HELP ME OUT?
>> Jon: YES.
>> Stephen: I WILL CONVEY TO YOU AN ENVIRONMENTAL IDEA.
THIS IS AN ENVIRONMENTAL IDEA.
HERE WE GO.
>> Jon: THREE WORDS.
YOU'RE RUNNING.
WALK-- WALK-- WALKING.
SOMETHING BIG.
HUGE!
TRUMP'S EGO!
PLANET EARTH!
DYING.
ANTHROPOGENIC MASS EXTINCTION!
>> Stephen: YES!
>> Jon: GOT IT!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YES!
>> Stephen: OR THESE SCIENTISTS COULD GET THEIR POINT ACROSS
THROUGH THE ART OF MIME.
MORE POWERFUL HURRICANES.
DEFORESTATION FORCING ANIMALS INTO SMALLER HABITATS.
( LAUGHTER ) OR THIS: ONLY BECAUSE I'M GOOD
AT IT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AND, OF COURSE, WITHOUT SAYING A
WORD, ALL OF THESE SCIENTISTS CAN DELIVER A POWERFUL MESSAGE
TO SCOTT PRUITT.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH HUGH LAURIE.