- When you're not aware that you may be suffering
from mental exhaustion that can really damage your health.
And I'm here today to share with you how to recognize
the early warning signs of mental exhaustion,
and how to look after your mental health,
how to do wellness, and how to not have to go through that.
So what are the symptoms of mental exhaustion?
Well, there are many.
We feel sapped of energy.
We feel kind of inert, apathetic.
We feel tired all the time,
even when we wake up in the morning.
We feel tired after a meal. We still think,
"Well, I just have no energy."
The things that would normally be signs of,
"Oh, I'm rested, I've had a night's sleep,
"I've got energy because I've just eaten
"some really healthy foods,"
they're not there.
We feel tired all the time.
We feel incredibly unproductive.
We feel like we're in a fog.
We can spend ages reading the same piece
of paperwork and just nothing is going in.
We can feel incredibly emotional, and that can come
out as sadness, being very teary, can be angry.
We can be completely irrational, losing it like that.
And really not in control of our emotions very well at all.
We can feel completely detached
from other people, from reality,
the things that gave us joy, it just isn't working.
And there are many other symptoms too.
And of course, one of the symptoms
on their own does not mean you're suffering
from mental exhaustion.
But if you have several of them, more than four,
then you probably are suffering with mental exhaustion.
You can even go into burnout
and that's not a place you want to go.
So that's what the symptoms are,
but what causes mental exhaustion?
Well, it's caused by our modern day issue.
Stress is a huge cause of mental exhaustion.
"I'm always stressed, I'm always thinking
"of what else I've got to do.
"I wake up, and my mind is running.
"I go to bed; it's still running.
"I can't relax because I'm stressed.
"I've got stress, I'm in stress.
"I didn't even know what stress is,
"but my doctor said, 'You've got stress.'
"Now I know I've got stress, but what is stress?"
Well, really, you're running on adrenaline.
You're like the battery of your phone
but you're never recharging.
If you took a phone, said, "I'll charge it for five minutes
"and then use it for two hours, and then charge it again,"
that doesn't work. You are like a battery.
You have to recharge yourself.
But that's very hard when you're under pressure,
tremendous pressure to get things done,
when you're overworked,
and when people are dependent on you to produce.
Now, most people think of stress and overwork
and pressure as something we get from our job.
And that's very valid,
but some people are like that at home.
I work with women who choose to be at home parents,
but they are very stressed.
The house has to be perfect, the kids have to be perfect,
they're always worrying, always in the "what if,"
and always living in the future,
thinking, "I need to work towards a better future."
Well, the future isn't here.
You have to live in the right now.
So it's the pressure you put
upon yourself that causes stress.
You may have a very demanding boss that says,
"Deliver this and that, and I need it now."
But when you take a deep breath and go,
"Look, I work an eight-hour day, I love my job.
"This is what I can deliver in eight hours.
"Unfortunately, you've given me four jobs
"that I just cannot complete."
So you have to look at what's realistic.
Do not over promise and under deliver
because that's what is causing your stress.
You're giving yourself too much to do, not enough time,
living on coffee, not having enough sleep.
And these things make you even more stressed.
So stress, your own internal pressure.
The belief that you've got to deliver for everybody else
what they require of you.
I see many kids who are under mental pressure,
mental exhaustion, because they believe,
"I've got to get straight A's.
"I need to do this for my parents."
I see many athletes who are under
that same mental exhaustion, goes,
"I must deliver, I've got to get it right.
"I can't let people down.
"Everyone expects so much of me
"and the pressure is overwhelming."
And I know what that's like when people expect a lot
from you, we all know what it's like.
But the only person who can stop that is you.
So how do you cure mental exhaustion?
First of all, you need to take
a reality check and be realistic.
There are 24 hours in a day, seven days in a week.
What can I realistically do?
You need to divide your day into work time and no work time.
And if you have a demanding job, when you go home
you need to leave your work at home.
You need to really be present
with your children, with your partner,
even with yourself. You need to switch off.
You need to think, "Okay, when I come in from work
"I take my work clothes off.
"Maybe I have a bath, a shower, a coffee, a phone call,
"but I'm doing something that separates work from home time."
And even if you work from home, you still need to think,
"Right, I'm going to switch the computer off
"and I'm going to put on the radio,
"and I'm going to symbolize to myself work is over,
"this is my time."
Now I've written books,
and I know what that's like to work all day
and all night because of a deadline.
And you may say, "Look, that all sounds great.
"I've got a start-up, my own business,
"I can't just switch off at five o'clock.
"I've got to work 16 hours a day for a while."
And I understand that.
And you know what?
You can do anything if it has an end date.
So if you are in that position of having to work 16 hours,
you need to say, "This has an ending.
"I'm doing this for three weeks.
"I'm doing this for a month.
"I'm doing this for two months.
"But it will end."
We can cope with anything, even pain,
when we know it has an end date.
It's a bit like giving birth,
"This is not fun, but hey, I'm producing a baby."
"I'm running a marathon, everything hurts,
"but I'm going to get to that finishing line."
Mental exhaustion is at its worst when you say things like,
"This is never going to end, this is going on forever.
"I'm drowning in stress.
"I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel."
So if you are in mental exhaustion,
take a look at your language.
Do you say things like, "This is killing me.
"I'm dying under this workload.
"I am stressed out of my mind.
"I feel like I'm going insane with tiredness.
"I can't get on top of this.
"The minute I answer 10 emails,
"102 more come in and it's killing me.
"I'm at my maximum bandwidth.
"I'm running out of rope"?
You see, when you use those very descriptive words
they become a blueprint
that, unfortunately, you start to work from.
So you need to say something entirely different,
"There's a lot of work on here
"but I'm going to get through this bit by bit.
"I have phenomenal coping skills.
"I can do this; I've got this.
"It won't be like this for long."
For something to get you, to give you mental exhaustion,
it has to be permanent, it has to be personal,
and it has to be all pervasive.
That means it must go on all the time.
And you have to say, "Right, you know,
"this workload is heavy. And it's kind of all-consuming,
"but it's not permanent.
"I won't be doing working like this for the next two years."
It's not personal,
"I chose it," or, "My boss gave me this work
"because he wanted me to do something amazing."
And it's not all-pervasive,
"When I'm in the bath, when I'm having a lovely dinner,
"when I'm sleeping, when I'm having sex with someone
"I'm not actually in this mental exhaustion."
The problem is we say things like,
"This is consuming my life.
"This is happening all the time, 24 hours a day."
You know, I meet clients who say, "I've eaten 24 hours a day."
And I go, "Really, is that really true?
"Did you pee?"
"Yes."
"Well, then you didn't eat in the toilet, did you?"
"No."
"Did you sleep?"
"Yeah, I did."
"So you didn't really eat 24 hours a day."
"No, but I feel like I did."
But that's not the same.
So listen to your language.
Do you say, "This is consuming me, this never ends.
"I can't see an end. I'm working 24 hours a day.
"I'm going insane with tiredness, stress, fatigue.
"People want so much of me,
"I just can't deliver"?
Change that language.
"People want a lot of me, they expect a lot,
"and I can deliver. But I'm going to be realistic
"with what I can deliver.
"If I'm working for myself, I'll deliver more.
"But I can see the goal,
"I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
"And no matter how bad it is, I will take breaks."
So when you're working on the computer
and you're looking like that, you have to stop
and look as far away as you can to rest your eyes.
You must take breaks and go outside,
or just move around, because you need that.
Because at school, of course, you have work, recess,
work, recess, because we all work better.
We work, take a break, work, take a break.
So do the things that are good for you.
Work, take breaks.
While you're working say things like,
"Wow, I'm making progress.
"I can see that I'm getting through this.
"I feel so good.
"I've completed that task.
"I'm making headway here.
"I feel really productive."
Even if it isn't true, say the things
that will help you, not hurt you.
"Gosh, I'm making a difference.
"I feel so good, I completed that task.
"I feel so great, I made a dent in that,
"and I'll make another dent.
"And I'm getting there and I feel good."
See the ending; you must be able to see the ending.
We can cope with anything when we can see an ending.
You know, I worked a lot with prisoners.
And what was interesting is that the people
on remand did worse than those who were sentenced.
Those who were sentenced could see an ending.
Waiting for the sentence was much, much worse.
So our human nature says,
"If I can see an ending, I can cope."
So you must decide, "Oh, I can see an ending."
And you must decide to take downtime.
You must take time to sleep,
you must hydrate, you must eat well.
You can't work and live on coffee and candy bars.
You need to, at least, have some healthy food.
I had an experience years ago,
I was writing one of my first books.
It was due to be submitted,
I had to submit the whole book on the 31st of August.
So I think my publisher said,
"Actually, we're bringing it forwards.
"Can you submit it on August the 7th?"
It's like, "Wow, that's three weeks early."
And I thought that was going to be really hard.
And it was hard.
I had to get up in the morning
and write and write and write,
and I would stop at about midnight or less
and just sleep, work, sleep, work.
But I could do it because it was three weeks,
only three weeks.
And I was living on bananas and smoothies,
but still healthy food.
I was so busy typing
I didn't get to eat, but I ordered jars of protein powder
and I'd whizz those up and put an avocado
and a banana in it.
And it was very important. I had to eat right,
I had to hydrate, I had to sleep.
When I finished writing I took myself to bed.
I didn't watch TV.
I didn't read a magazine, but I kept all
of the stuff I would normally read in a bag.
I taped all my favorite shows.
I was thinking, "Wow, in three weeks,
"it's going to take a whole day.
"I'm going to read all my newspapers, watch all my shows."
And that three weeks ended, I submitted it.
I also realized that I could submit my manuscript
on that day, there's no way my publisher could read it all
and I still had a few more days
and then I could say, "Oh, I sent you the wrong one.
"Here's the real one."
Because I could buy a little bit of extra time.
Not much, but enough.
And when it was over, I felt so great.
It's like running a marathon.
You keep thinking,
"I'm going to feel so good when I accomplish this.
"I'm going to feel so great when I do this."
If you run a marathon,
you can only finish it by seeing the end.
Seeing the end, seeing the ticker tape,
hearing the crowds cheer your name
is how you complete the difficult task.
You must see the ending.
You must be your own cheerleader. Praise yourself,
"You're doing a great job.
"You're doing great here.
"You're making amazing headway.
"I'm really proud of you."
So the cure is to praise yourself,
to take breaks,
to look after yourself, to care for yourself,
to nurture yourself, build your praise muscle,
see the end because there is an end in sight,
and do not compare yourself.
Don't think, "Well, everyone else is doing better.
"How come other writers churn out a book, run six companies,
"go home, and raise three kids, and homeschool"?
Don't compare yourself.
You are unique; you're doing it on your schedule.
You do not need to compare yourself
to anyone, ever. Do it your way.
It will absolutely work, but please don't go into burnout.
There really is no need.
So if you're feeling low
and you want to feel a whole lot better,
just go ahead and click the link to my totally free
'I Am Enough' meditation.
It will make you feel amazing.
It will change you.
Go ahead and take that now.