With kindness intertwined with every decision and relationship an INFJ holds, it’s not to
say that they don’t have their fair share of pet peeves when it comes to interacting with others.
Luckily, despite their behavior being notoriously difficult to read, there are
a few key signs that this personality type is feeling rubbed the wrong way.
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Alright, let’s get right into it starting with..
Number 1: They simply carry it through their energy
Through their infectious and notable aura, the INFJ can often communicate how they’re feeling
easiest through the unspoken ways of their energy. Whether they’ve become offended by
what someone has said or they simply can’t handle someone’s disingenuous personality, it’s usually
in the things the INFJ doesn’t say that speak the loudest. Although not everyone can pick up on this
sudden, or not-so sudden energy shift, when in a group setting with people that know the INFJ well,
the subtle change in their demeanor is overly obvious. These changes can be made apparent
through their body language, their tone of voice, or simply the fact that their reserved nature is
taken to the extreme. In fact, sometimes this extroverted feeler type doesn’t even
notice their outer attitude change. And sometimes this change can be so loud that their friends or
loved ones feel obligated to give them a nudge in order to keep the peace within their surroundings
and avoid someone’s feelings getting hurt. Number 2: They communicate very formally
Often seen as amicable and friendly, even to newcomers they know they won’t necessarily
befriend in the long run, the INFJ personality type is known for their versatile communication
style. They’re easily able to adapt to all sorts of personality types, energy levels and preferred
topics. However, when this extroverted-introvert begins to withdraw their obligation to keep an
up-beat exchange of communication with someone, it can be a clear sign that they really don’t
like an individual. Now, the tricky thing with this change in communication style is
that it’s quite similar to that of an INFJ who is beginning to feel comfortable around someone.
As they let their guard down and stop feeling so obligated to over-compensate
their naturally introverted side with how they think they should act to seem friendly,
they can seem less engaged at times. However, the difference lies within their attentiveness and
willingness to voluntarily engage. It’s almost as if when the INFJ is disinterested, they’ll resort
to a professional-esque presenting demeanor rather than a laid back and observant style.
Number 3: They’re constantly making excuses
Yes, INFJs are introverts. And yes, at times, they can be caught telling a fib or two to safely back
themselves out of a social invitation. However, when an INFJ is genuinely interested in engaging
and growing a relationship with someone they deem worthy of their time, you can bet they’ll
make the grand effort of scheduling time for it. Actually, INFJs thrive when they
have a few connections they can effortlessly maintain through intermittent hangouts. And so,
if someone is constantly attempting to make plans with an INFJ only to get rain-checked and politely
rejected by means of a busy schedule, you can bet the INFJ is probably not crazy about them.
The difficult part of it all, is that this boundary-avoidant type sometimes
simply doesn’t have the heart to tell someone that they’re not interested. This is mostly
because they don’t have a logical reason that can be said without putting someone down.
INFJs have general expectations for those they can see themselves forming a true connection with,
if those expectations aren’t met, this introverted type simply doesn’t see the point in pretending.
Number 4: They don’t provide attention sought through desperation
Speaking of the INFJ’s general expectation for those they’re considering to be potential matches
in terms of new friendships and relationships, a well-managed ego tends to be one of the most
important. In fact, egotistic traits such as being attention-thirsty, materialistic, gossiping or
overly competitive are amongst the top few that the INFJ just can’t take on. No matter how sweet
and flattering an individual is, when an INFJ has observed these specific traits more than once,
they will quickly refuse to engage in the nonsense of it all - sometimes in a rather noticeable way.
Despite their deep-rooted need to deter conflict of all kinds, the INFJ won’t hesitate to keep a
straight face when someone is sharing an offensive joke about another person. They won’t engage in
compliment-fishing and they won’t be the one congratulating a winner that only got to where
they are through dirty practices. INFJs are the first type to be genuinely happy for someone
who deserves it, and if they’re not, they probably don’t like you.. For rather good reasons, that is.
Number 5: Avoidance at all costs
Sure, turning down plans and retracting their obligated friendliness may be key signs, but
one way someone will absolutely know for sure if the INFJ dislikes them is through sheer avoidance.
Haven’t seen the INFJ in a while? It’s not uncommon that there’s someone they’re trying
to avoid talking to. Whether they suddenly choose to park on the other side of the work parking lot,
take a different train home, choose a different place to sit at school,
go to the gym at a different time of day, the INFJ will take truly remarkable measures to stay
away from someone they don’t like engaging with. While for most types a simple engagement may seem
like less effort in comparison to changing their entire regimen around avoiding it,
for this intuitive type, making it easiest to ignore the fact that someone exists tends to
seem like the easier route. And if they can’t physically avoid someone, they may just happen
to be on a phone call at the same time everyday or will avoid being caught without headphones
in - giving a clear message that they’re not interested in engaging in the slightest.
Number 6: They won’t ask targeted questions in group settings
The less-intimate social setting of a group is often where the INFJ
personality type prefers to take a back seat no matter who it is they’re engaging with.
However, when they do chime into a group conversation, they don’t hesitate to still
attempt to guide the interaction down a deeper and more purposeful direction.
By asking well thought out questions pertaining to philosophical viewpoints and other’s personal
experiences, the INFJ can take a surface-level exchange of words and morph it into a much more
profound setting. And while they try to avoid brain-picking one specific individual within
these less-intimate conversations as they would in a one-on-one setting, they may still
use this as a tactic to pull the attention away from a conversation-hogger. Speaking earlier of
their detest of attention-seeking behavior, INFJs love to give the talked-over one of the group the
microphone. Without putting the shy ones on the spot, this introverted type loves to skip over the
ones who love to hear themselves talk and give the floor to those who have something to say.
So, if they’re point-blank ignoring someone’s input within a conversation in order to focus
on someone else in the group, they probably feel rubbed the wrong way in some aspects.
Number 7: They seem tired or exhausted
It’s a well-known fact that the INFJ can pick up on and mentally absorb the energies around them.
Often feeling invigorated and uplifted around positive people, this extroverted feeler
type also feels the opposite when around those of a negative or ingenuine energy.
Within just a short time of absorbing the feelings of someone who is negative, disrespectful,
pessimistic or can’t help but to fall into the trap of victim-mentality, the INFJ’s temporary
physical well-being will change. Feelings of exhaustion, weakness, nausea, dizziness,
fogginess or simply feeling burned out after an interaction with someone is a sheer sign that they
don’t jive well with the energy that person is emitting. In fact, they may even find themselves
suddenly yawning or verbally complaining about how tired they feel with this person without realizing
what it is that suddenly affected them. Ironically however, the empathic INFJ often holds a soft spot
for those who struggle with these difficult belief systems and outward energies. This
makes it so that it’s not that they necessarily dislike those who deplete them of their mental
and physical energy, but rather, they dislike how much those ill-rooted feelings affect them.
Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today.. Before you go, let us know in the comments below if
you think people notice when you don’t like them as an INFJ. Also, make sure to leave us a like,
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