Like a wise ape old man in the cave once said,
"It's dangerous to go alone.
Take this."
In an entertainment medium
where you're at odds with fire breathing turtles,
alien invaders, and demons from hell,
you'll need some protection to ensure that
you'll not only make it through your adventure in one piece
but have fun slaughtering your enemies as well.
From fire fliers to energy stores
the gaming industry
has concocted millions of weapons
to vanquish your foes.
I'm Dave with ArcadeCloud
and today, we're counting down
the top nine most kick@#$%! weapons in gaming.
Lock and load, baby.
Number nine, Moonlight Greatsword.
For any fans of the Dark Soul series
you may just recognise this blade
as it's been in every title thus far
and will probably continue to be in future FromSoft games.
In the first Dark Souls title
you'll find this mysterious magic infused blade
by destroying the tail of Seath,
leaving players with intelligence builds
an amazing Greatsword at their arsenal.
And as cool as this blade is,
with only the inner portion being actual steel
and the outer portion all magic, baby
it's not a weapon limited to Dark Souls.
Oh, no.
The Moonlight Greatsword is, in fact
essentially the mascot of the creators of Dark Souls
FromSoftware.
The sword was present in their very first game
King's Field.
And I'm talking about the one
that was never ported to America.
It's been in every King's Field game since
was included in Armored Core 4 Answer
and made its way into both Demon's Souls and Bloodborne.
Now that's what I call history.
And I just happen to have a PhD in fake gaming weapons.
See that?
It's a little baby blade in the middle.
Number eight, Hidden Blade.
Explosions and bullets aren't everything.
Sometimes simplicity and subtlety
are all you need to put a bad guy to rest.
The Hidden Blade seems primitive at the glance
but there's a reason the Assassin Order
has been using it for centuries.
It makes kills quick and quiet.
The blade is held in piece
by an apparatus worn underneath the arm
hiding the weapon from plain sight
when worn in conjunction
with the Assassins' signature white robes.
The original Hidden Blade
was activated by a mechanism triggered
by the user's pinkie finger.
To use the original version of the blade
the Assassins all had to cut off
their ring fingers
but this distinction made
the Assassins easy to identify over time.
Assassin Altair Ibn-La'Ahad
recognised this and made alterations
to the blade's design that helped
give the blade new capabilities
and avoid the whole finger-cutting business.
The poison blade injected foes with a lethal toxin
that would drain the life of marks
creating an even more discreet way to assassinate.
Altair even incorporated a hidden gun into the design
allowing kills from a distance.
Though don't expect the gun to be as quiet.
The blade gains even more abilities as the series went on.
The fact that Ubisoft was able to make a tiny knife
into a harbinger of death is a feat in and of itself.
Number seven, Lancer's Assault Rifle Mark 2.
Have you ever dreamed of becoming
an unholy union of John Rambo and Leatherface?
Before you check yourself
into the nearest mental health facility,
you may want to check out Gears of War.
The Lancer Assault Rifle Mark 2
is the standard issue assault rifle issued
to Gear soldiers serving
the Coalition of Ordered Governments.
It's also responsible for making the Gears of War series
into a million dollar franchise overnight.
Well, that and Gary Jules' cover of Mad World.
The Lancer is the perfect killing machine
or at least the messiest.
The Lancer can take out targets from either a distance
or up close and personal
with its most ridiculous feature
a chainsaw bayonet.
While the weapon would be beyond impractical in real life,
good luck aiming a chainsaw gun.
Marcus Fenix and pals possess biceps
beyond the capability of any mortal
even the human hating Locust Hordes can't deny
how amazing the Lancer is and use the weapon as well.
This has lead to a pastime that has taken planet Sera
by storm and given Thrashball a run for its money.
Chainsaw duels.
They're kind of like Lightsaber duels
only much faster and wetter.
The iconic bayonet has also taken down creatures
much bigger than your standard Locust drone
with Marcus Fenix using it to slice and dice
the inner organs of a huge @#$%! Riftworm
depending on which side of the bayonet you're on
the Lancer Mark 2 is a weapon that will either make you feel
like death incarnate or lighter around the mid-section.
Number six, Golden Gun.
Unlike the other weapons on our list
this weapon did not originate in a video game
but the classic James Bond film
The Man with the Golden Gun.
In the film, the gun is the signature weapon
of assassin Francisco Scaramanga.
Man, wouldn't it be awesome if it were in a video game?
Well, if you were the one behind the barrel
yes, if not, just try your best
not to hit your friend over the head
with your N64 controller.
Those things are expensive to replace nowadays.
The Golden Gun is one of the most powerful guns
featured in Golden Eye 007.
Much like its silver screen counterpart
it takes just one shot to kill
just about any enemy in the game.
But there are exceptions.
Despite being overpowered,
you'll still require a bit of skill
in order for the weapon to be effective.
The magazine holds one bullet.
So you need to pick your shots
or get stuck reloading at the worst time.
Also, having something so overpowered
put a huge target on your back.
So expect your friends to negotiate
a truce to take you down.
That is until, of course, one of them takes that power
for themselves and the cycle begins anew.
Number five, Aperture Science Portal Gun.
Not only is the Aperture Science Portal Gun
more valuable than the combined organs
and incomes of everyone in your hometown,
it's a unique first-person weapon
and that it's not lethal by the design.
Instead of firing ballistic rounds
plasma, or rockets,
the Portal Gun fires, well, portals,
which the player can use
to traverse complex obstacle courses
and overthrow artificial intelligence programs gone mad.
It can fire two types of portals
blue and orange
that are always linked together
no matter how far away they are from each other.
However, only surfaces made out of moon rocks
conduct portals.
So you can't use it to get from your room to school.
At least, not yet, that is.
The gun's capabilities are limited
only by the user's imagination.
With wielders using the portals to do everything
from launching themselves great distances,
to dropping sentient turrets into the bottomless abyss.
The Portal Gun's greatest achievement
has been redefining the first-person shooter genre
by showing us a style of gameplay
never before implemented into the game beforehand.
It proved that shooters could be more than mindless killing
load outs, and 360 no-scopes,
by marrying the FPS to puzzle platformers.
I guess you can have your cake and eat it too,
assuming it's not a lie that is.
Number four, Master Sword,
perhaps the most iconic, recognisable,
and marketable weapon on our list,
the Master Sword.
The blade started its life as the Goddess Sword
forged by Hylia herself.
Link, with the help of Fi turned it
into the Blade of Evil's Bane we know and love today.
On top of sending Evil to its grave,
the sword can cut through magical barriers,
break curses conducted by dark magic,
and channel divine energy to perform skyward strikes,
which totally wasn't a Wii remote gimmick
that never showed up again.
That being said, the Master Sword is a weapon
that can't just be picked up
and wielded by anybody all willy-nilly.
The sword chooses who can wield it,
typically, a hero who has passed multiple trials
that test their courage, wisdom, and power.
Wearing a green hat and tunic helps too.
Even though we've been doing it in just about every Zelda game
since A Link to the Past,
pulling the Master Sword
from its pedestal never gets old
and is one of gaming's
most cinematic moments of all time,
the real joy of wielding the blade comes
when you're able to confront Ganon himself,
and make him squeal for mercy like the little piggy he is.
Aside from slaying Ganon and his countless minions,
the Master Sword is also pretty effective
at smashing some of Nintendo's greatest all stars.
Number three, Gravity Gun.
While many games have experimented
with guns that utilise gravity,
none did it better than
Half-Life 2 Zero-Point Energy Field Projector.
Since Zero Point Energy Field Projector
is an obnoxious mouthful,
most people refer to it as the Gravity Gun.
Ostensibly designed
for transporting hazardous material,
it's also the perfect tool to use for playing fetch
with a freaky robot that thinks it's a dog.
Gordon Freeman gives the gun
a third purpose in no time flat, murder,
The gun's primary firing mode
is a blast that blows objects out of Freeman's way,
the secondary mode pulls objects to you,
combining the two modes,
lets you turn household objects into high velocity projectiles.
The Gravity Gun is the perfect weapon
because it requires no ammo.
The world is your ammo. And it doesn't stop there.
Later in the game, the gun gets
super-charged to impossible degrees.
The concussive blasts become
the instakills that send enemy corpses flying.
You can even grab organic beings
with a powerful pull that kills them
before they're in your grasp.
Letting you turn the corpse of your enemy
into a Maccabi Yo-Yo.
Who said physics can't be fun?
Number two, BFG9000.
If you always thought that demons and monsters
of hell weren't afraid of anything,
guess again.
Well, the most powerful weapon in just about every shooter
out there is some generic rocket launcher
with a balanced blast radius.
Doom decided it was time to separate the men
from the boys with the power weapon
to end all power weapons.
The BFG9000, which is short for,
well, it's not Big Friendly Giants,
with just a pull of the trigger,
the BFG releases a single green blast
that engulfs the screen and kills everything
in an instance.
The weapon has appeared in every Doom game
since the original grey [] screens,
and filled our parents with the rage back in 1993.
While many modern shooters have attempted to outdo it,
none have ever made enemies @#$%! their collective pants
quite like the BFG9000.
Number one, Blue Kooper's Shell.
You're playing an intense Mario Kart race,
maintaining your first place position
which you've held on to the first couple of laps,
your final lap is almost complete,
the finish line in sight,
the gold trophy is yours, until boom!
You're hit by a blue explosion that sends you skyward,
allowing the racers behind you to claim an undeserved victory.
This is the handiwork of gaming's
most controversial weapon, the Blue Kooper's Shell.
Making its debut in Mario Kart 64,
the dreaded Blue Shell has the ability to track down
the lead car in the race
and smack it with a concussive blast
that will have the leader go from first to worst on a dime.
To make matters worse,
this iteration of the weapon was impossible to dodge,
making Mario Kart 64
a bit more luck-based than hardcore competitors would like.
Later games in the series would allow the players
to dodge the shell, but it's not an easy feat.
Despite the nerfing and alterations Nintendo
has made over the years,
the damage had already been done.
The Blue Shell
is an unique weapon on this list
in that it has had effects not just on the gameplay
but reality itself.
It awakens a rage within players
that has destroyed countless controllers.
This WMD in a half shell is also in direct competition
with the Mario Party series for slaughtering friendships.
You hear that, Steve?
You owe that gold cup of yours to a freaky turtle shell,
it should have me mine, god @#$%! it!
Unlike most of the other weapons on our list,
the Blue Shell is non-lethal,
leaving the racer unscathed.
The Blue Shell proves to us all that there are, in fact,
things worse than death, like eighth place.
There you have it, folks,
the top nine most kickass weapons in gaming.
Which one you think is the most lethal?
Is there a personal favourite of yours that we missed?
Let us know in the comments below.
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