>>>
>>> OH,
>>> OH, BOY. IF YOU ONLY KNEW WHAT HAPPENS
IN THE COMMERCIAL BREAKS.
WE GET THE CONVERSATION WARMED
UP FOR YOU.
SERIOUSLY, HOW OFTEN DO YOU
TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT
ISSUES IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
OF COURSE IT'S NORMAL TO WANT
TO VENT AND GET ADVICE FROM
TIME TO TIME BUT ACCORDING TO
THE EXPERTS, THERE ARE SOME
THINGS THAT ABSOLUTELY SHOULD
STAY JUST BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR
PARTNER.
PARTNER.
PARTNER. HOW ABOUT IT.
HAVE WE BROKEN ANY ON THIS
LIST?
LIST?
LIST? WE
LIST? WE ARE GOING TO FIND OUT.
OF COURSE CARA KNEER STUCK
AROUND.
AROUND.
AROUND. >> I KNOW A SECRET, BLAH, BLAH,
BLAH, BLAH.
BLAH, BLAH. >> JOHN, I JUST TOLD THEM
SOMETHING AND HE'S ABOUT DON'T
DO IT.
DO IT.
DO IT. MATTIE STUCK AROUND AND BACK BY
POPULAR DEMAND, OUR DEAR FRIEND
COMEDIAN JOHN HEFRON.
HE'S PERFORMING AT THE
PUNCHLINE COMEDY CLUB.
WE ARE SO HAPPY TO HAVE YOU
BACK.
BACK.
BACK. I
BACK. I THINK IT'S BEEN, GOSH,
ROUGHLY NINE --
>> SEVEN MONTHS.
>> ISH.
>> ISH.
>> ISH. >> JOHN HAS HAD A CRUSH ON CARA
FOR A LONG TIME.
YOU MUST SAY.
>> RECENTLY WENT THROUGH A
SPLIT.
SPLIT.
SPLIT. >>
SPLIT. >> ANYWAY, ABOUT SECRETS AND
WHAT WE TELL OUR PARTNERS.
>> ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT. LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT THAT.
THIS RELATIONSHIP EXPERT SAYS
OVERSHARING, BASICALLY ACTUALLY
COULD MEAN THAT YOU HAVE A
PROBLEM COMMUNICATING.
PROBLEM COMMUNICATING. I'M FEELING REALLY BAD.
WITH A PARTNER.
DO YOU FIND YOURSELVES, OF
COURSE WE ALL DO, TALKING TO
OTHERS BUT MAYBE IF YOU DIG A
LITTLE BIT DEEPER IT'S BECAUSE
YOU ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE YOU
CAN'T.
CAN'T.
CAN'T. >>
CAN'T. >> CHIME IN.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> ABSOLUTELY. YEAH.
YEAH.
YEAH. NOT
YEAH. NOT -- I FEEL LIKE I'M
DEFINITELY A LOT BETTER TALKING
TO CHRIS ABOUT THINGS.
I THINK THERAPY DEFINITELY HAS
HELPED WITH THAT.
BUT IT DEFINITELY LIKE -- HE'S
NOT A WIFE SO HE DOESN'T HAVE
THAT EXPERIENCE SO TALKING TO
MY BEST FRIEND OR EVEN JUST
LIKE MY GIRLFRIENDS WHERE I'M
LIKE, DOES THIS HAPPEN TO YOU
GUYS OR THIS HAPPENED TO ME AND
I WAS UPSET AND NOT WITHOUT A
LEVEL OF DISCRETION BUT STILL
JUST TRYING TO KIND OF HUMANIZE
MY OWN EXPERIENCE TO SOMEONE
ELSE'S, YOU KNOW.
>> IT'S NOT THAT YOU'RE AFRAID
TO TALK TO HIM BUT MAYBE JUST
FEEL LIKE IN SOME WAYS THEY
DON'T UNDERSTAND?
DON'T UNDERSTAND? >> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. I JUST WANT SOMEBODY'S
PERSPECTIVE FROM LIKE MY
STANDPOINT.
STANDPOINT. LIKE I RESPECT HIS STANDPOINT
BUT IT'S LIKE I NEED SOMEBODY
WHO IS COMING FROM THE SAME --
>> COMING FROM THE FEMALE --
>> EXACTLY.
>> EXACTLY. >> JOHN?
>> JOHN?
>> JOHN? >> YOU WANT ADVICE, JUST THE
GUY ASKING, DO YOU WANT ADVICE
WHERE YOU TAKE IT IN AND APPLY
IT OR DO YOU WANT TO COMPLAIN
TO SOMEBODY AND JUST -- LIKE IF
SOMEBODY -- I'VE BEEN IN
RELATIONSHIPS SCENARIOS WHERE
I'M LIKE, BA, BA, BA AND YOU
SHOULD DUH, DUH, DUH.
AND IS IT A VENTING OR JUST GO
TO THE PARTNER?
THAT'S MY NAME WAY BECAUSE I'M
COMPLETELY STARTING OFF.
HERE'S THIS, I HAVE SAID IT TO
YOU AND NOW DONE WITH THIS.
THAT MEANS IF I'M DRIVING HOME
AND I'M HUNGRY, I'M GOING TO
HIT A DRIVE-THROUGH AND EAT A
HAMBURGER AND NOT GOING TO CALL
ANYBODY TO SEE IF YOU WANT
SOMETHING.
SOMETHING. I'M TAKING A ME DAY.
>> WILL YOU HAVE LEARNED YOUR
PAST EXPERIENCES AND FEEL LIKE
YOU NEED TO FOCUS MORE ON YOU?
>> YES.
>> YES.
>> YES. >> WHICH IS GREAT.
AND THAT'S WHAT THE WHOLE POINT
IS, I THINK, OF LEARNING FROM
YOUR PAST AS YOU MOVE FORWARD.
>> YEP.
>> YEP.
>> YEP. >> CARA, SPECIFICALLY RELATED,
WHEN YOU TELL ME THINGS --
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. >> WHEN YOU TELL ME THINGS
ABOUT JOHN -- I'M ONLY KIDDING.
WHEN YOU TELL ME THINGS, I
MEAN, I DON'T EVER -- YOU AND
LEE HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP.
I DON'T EVER FEEL LIKE IT'S
BECAUSE YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU
COULD TELL HIM.
>> I THINK FOR YOUR POINT TOO,
IT'S ABOUT THE LEVEL OF
RESPECT, RIGHT?
RESPECT, RIGHT? YOU DON'T WANT TO MAKE YOUR
PARTNER LESS THAN OR
DISRESPECT THEM IN A WAY -- YOU
DON'T WANT TO MAKE THEM FEEL
BAD ABOUT THEMSELVES.
IF THERE WAS SOMETHING THAT YOU
NEEDED TO TALK TO YOUR PARTNER
ABOUT, I THINK ALL OF US WOULD
TALK TO OUR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
SO YOU CAN FIX T YOU'RE NOT
JUST TALKING TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND
OR BOYFRIEND BECAUSE YOU HATE
YOUR PARTNER.
YOUR PARTNER. YOU WANT SOMETHING TO COME FROM
IT, JUST LISTEN TO FEEL
VALIDATED BUT YOU'RE NOT LIKE
I'M GOING TO FILE FOR DIVORCE.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. >> BUT THERE ARE DEFINITELY
THINGS ACCORDING TO THIS STUDY
THAT SAYS YOU REALLY SHOULD
JUST KEEP BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR
PARTNER.
PARTNER.
PARTNER. THE FIRST ONE IS FINANCIAL AND
LEGAL ISSUES.
LEGAL ISSUES. TIME SPENT AIRING YOUR
FINANCIAL FRUSTRATION WITH
OUTSIDE SOURCES DOESN'T HELP
YOU GET AHEAD.
ANYONE BEEN GUILTY OF DOING
THIS, IT'S REALLY NOBODY'S
BUSINESS.
BUSINESS.
BUSINESS. SOMETIMES YOU CAN'T HELP IT.
JOHN, IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, DID
YOU -- IF THAT WAS A POINT OF
CONTENTION BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR
WIFE, FINANCES, WOULD YOU VENT
OUTSIDE TO FRIENDS?
>> YES AND THEN THEY TELL YOU
STUFF AND THEN WHY DON'T YOU
HANDLE IT THIS WAY.
THIS IS HOW YOU SHOULD HAVE.
JUST BE QUIET ABOUT IT.
I'M THE WORST FINANCIAL PERSON
IN THE WORLD.
>> YOU'RE LIKE ME.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. WHY WOULD I NOT GET A BOUNCE
HOUSE TODAY?
HOUSE TODAY? I'M THAT GUY.
AND I GO I'M GETTING A BOUNCE
HOUSE AND I'M NOT ASKING
ANYBODY BECAUSE I'M A BIG BOY
NOW.
NOW.
NOW. SO
NOW. SO I
NOW. SO I HAD THAT ATTITUDE.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. >> SO FEEL LIKE SPENDING
SOMETHING, I'M GOING TO SAY YOU
OVERSPEND, LET'S SAY THE BOUNCE
HOUSE WHICH SHOULD HAVE ONLY
BEEN $75, WE SPENT 250 FOR IT.
I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST BUY THE
BOUNCE HOUSE AND NOT OVERLY
WORRY ABOUT IT BECAUSE AT THE
END OF THE DAY IT'S A $75
ISSUE --
ISSUE --
ISSUE -- >> AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE
BOUNCING.
BOUNCING.
BOUNCING. >> AND THEN YOU'RE BOUNCING.
>> SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO SPEND
THE BOUNCE HOUSE MONEY AND DO
WHATEVER.
WHATEVER.
WHATEVER. DEAL WITH IT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. LOOK THEM IN THE EYE AND SAY
YEAH, I SPENT 250 FOR THE
BOUNCE HOUSE.
BOUNCE HOUSE. ARE WE GOING TO KEEP DISCUSSING
THIS OR MOVE ON?
WE ARE GOLD.
>> I LOVE THAT.
THE NEXT ONE IS ANYTHING -- I
HAVE BROKEN THIS.
ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH
INTIMACY.
INTIMACY.
INTIMACY. SO IS IT OKAY -- I'M GUESSING
THAT PEOPLE WHEN THINGS ARE
REALLY GOOD -- WELL, I DO
ACTUALLY KNOW SOME PEOPLE THAT
MIGHT BE LIKE THINGS ARE GREAT
IN MY HOUSE.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. >> MY INSTAGRAM STORY --
>> IF YOU'RE HAVING
FRUSTRATIONS, I DON'T KNOW.
I FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE
TO TALK TO SOMEBODY AND IF
YOU'RE NOT SEEING A THERAPIST
REGULARLY BUT THEY SAY
ABSOLUTELY NOT, DO NOT DISCUSS
ANYTHING -- TALKING ABOUT DON'T
BREACH THAT TRUST.
>> I DON'T THINK IT'S ABOUT
LIKE NOT SAYING ANYTHING.
AGAIN, I THINK TO CARA'S POINT,
I DON'T THINK ANYTHING, ANY
ASPECT, FINANCIALLY, SEXUALLY,
ANYTHING LIKE THAT WHERE I'M
MAKING MY HUSBAND LOOK BAD.
THAT'S SOMETHING THAT I'M VERY
INTENTIONAL ABOUT.
INTENTIONAL ABOUT. MY BEST FRIEND AND I HAD A
CONVERSATION WHERE SHE WAS JUST
SHARING WITH ME THAT SHE WAS
EXHAUSTED AND SHE WAS LIKE, AND
LIKE IT WAS GOING LONGER THAN I
WANTED TO AND CAN WE WRAP THIS
UP?
UP?
UP? >>
UP? >> HOLD ON.
WAIT.
WAIT.
WAIT. THAT'S A THING?
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT WAS A
THING.
THING.
THING. WHO KNEW?
WHO KNEW?
WHO KNEW? >> I THINK THAT'S FAIR.
>> I THINK IT'S FAIR TOO.
BUT AGAIN SHE WAS REALLY COMING
FROM A STANDPOINT LIKE I WAS SO
TIRED, I WANTED TO BE A GOOD
WIFE AND MAKE SURE HE WAS TAKEN
CARE OF, BUT I'M EXHAUSTED.
LET'S WRAP THIS UP.
>> SO SHE WAS BASICALLY --
>> WHY IS EVERYBODY SMILING AT
ME AT THE HOLIDAY PARTY.
HE IS WALKING IN LATER.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> YOUR FRIEND WANTED PROBABLY,
A, WELL, LIKE VALIDATION, LIKE
-- LIKE AM I ALONE IN THIS?
YOU CAN SAY, OF COURSE YOU'RE
NOT.
NOT.
NOT. WHEREVER YOU ARE LISTENING, OF
COURSE YOU'RE NOT ALONE.
BUT TRULY LIKE A WAY TO MAYBE
PROBLEM SOLVE.
PROBLEM SOLVE. IT'S NOT MAKING HIM LOOK BAD
BUT IT IS MORE LIKE HEY, I HAVE
AN IDEA WHY DON'T WHEN YOU PUT
THE KIDS TO BED, YOU HAVE YOUR
ALONE TIME AND DON'T WAKE UNTIL
11:00 AT NIGHT WHEN YOU'RE
TRYING TO FALL ASLEEP OR
WHENEVER THE CASE MAY BE.
>> I THINK INTIMACY IS
SOMETHING YOU CAN VENT TO YOUR
GIRLFRIENDS IF YOU HAVE AN
ISSUE THAT'S FUNNY BUT YOU ALSO
HAVE TO TALK TO YOUR PARTNER IF
YOU'RE HAVING A PROBLEM.
YOU HAVE TO BECAUSE THEY ARE
NOT MIND READERS.
>> EXACTLY, RIGHT.
>> SO YOU HAVE TO SHOW THEM THE
WAY.
WAY.
WAY. >>
WAY. >> AND ENCOURAGE THAT.
I WAS LIKE MAYBE --
>> IT WAS NOT A PROBLEM AT
EITHER OF YOUR HOUSES, RIGHT?
>> SAFE TO SAY THAT OBVIOUSLY
THEY ARE VERY HAPPY -- I'M
SORRY.
SORRY.
SORRY. THIS HAS TO BECOME PG13.
LITTLE BABIES SHOULD LEAVE THE
ROOM.
ROOM.
ROOM. TALK ABOUT IT.
DO YOU SHARE --
>> I WAS GOING TO -- DIDN'T
KNOW IF I WAS BEING A DUDE IN
THE SCENARIO BUT I AM A GUY SO
THAT'S THE PRONOUN I WILL USE.
IF A FEMALE IS TALKING TO A GUY
THAT SHE WORKS WITH ABOUT -- I
ASSUME SHE IS FLIRTING OR
GOING, HEY, THERE'S A HUGE ROOM
THAT'S OPEN HERE.
AND I HAVE HEARD, YOU KNOW,
JUST IN GROUPS WOMEN
COMPLAINING ABOUT THE GUYS.
I'M LIKE, IT'S A LITTLE -- I
THINK THEY ARE DOING IT JUST
TO --
TO --
TO -- >>
TO -- >> TOTALLY AGREE.
>> YOU'RE MY BROTHER.
>> AGREED.
>> AGREED. THAT WOULD BE TOTALLY
INAPPROPRIATE.
INAPPROPRIATE. >> RIGHT, RIGHT.
>> IF YOU'RE DOING THAT WITH
THE OPPOSITE SEX, YOU ARE
ABSOLUTELY --
ABSOLUTELY -- >> OUT OF LINE.
>> JUST PUTTING IT OUT THERE
AND THAT WAS A GOOD --
>> ALSO OH, I SHOULD MENTION IT
DOESN'T MEAN JUST INTIMACY.
LIKE IN TERMS OF PHYSICAL
INTIMACY BUT IF YOU HAVE A CUTE
NAME FOR YOUR PARTNER, BOO,
BOOTY, AND YOU THINK HE WOULD
BE EMBARRASSED BY IT, ANY
LITTLE THING LIKE THAT, DON'T
DO IT.
DO IT.
DO IT. >>
DO IT. >> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. >> BUT ANY -- YOU KNOW,
SOMETHING THAT'S REALLY JUST
BETWEEN YOU.
BETWEEN YOU. >> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. >> YOUR FIGHTS -- OH, MY GOSH
EVERY PERSON HAS BROKEN THIS.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. IT'S JUST REALLY HUMAN OF YOU,
YEAH.
YEAH.
YEAH. I
YEAH. I THINK I TALKED ABOUT, I FEEL
LIKE I TALK ABOUT IT LIKE
PRETTY ALL THE TIME.
>> YOU'RE VERY HONEST AND OPEN,
YES.
YES.
YES. >>
YES. >> I
YES. >> I TRY.
>> I TRY.
>> I TRY. AGAIN NOT TO EMBARRASS CHRIS OR
MYSELF OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT
BUT JUST TO REALLY SHOWCASE HOW
HIM AND I AM AND SAY, HAS THIS
HAPPENED TO YOU BEFORE?
I WAS EXHAUSTED LAST WEEK, I
HAD -- I WAS YELLING AT THE TOP
OF MY LUNGS, I WAS SO DONE.
I WAS JUST SHOW EXHAUSTED.
>> YOUR HORMONES, TIRED AND
YOUR NORMAL EVERY DAY LIFE.
>> HE EXTENDED ME SO MUCH
GRACE.
GRACE.
GRACE. HE
GRACE. HE REALLY DID NOT LIKE FIGHT
BACK.
BACK.
BACK. HE
BACK. HE REALLY DIDN'T.
>> OH.
>> OH.
>> OH. >>
>> OH. >> I'M THE EXACT OPPOSITE.
I HAVE MADE A CAREER OF TAKING
AN ARGUMENT THAT I HAD IN MY
PERSONAL LIFE AND PUTTING IT IN
FRONT OF 500 PEOPLE.
YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT WAS
SAID TO ME TODAY.
>> YEAH, THAT'S KIND OF WHAT
YOU --
YOU --
YOU -- >>
YOU -- >> YES.
>> YES.
>> YES. >> LEE TOLD ME THE OTHER DAY,
WHY DO YOU MAKE COMPETING
BREAKFASTS WITH ME ABOUT THE
KIDS?
KIDS?
KIDS? I'M
KIDS? I'M LIKE WE ARE COMPETING WITH
BREAKFAST?
BREAKFAST? I'M CONFUSED.
I'M CONFUSED. >> HE WAS HAVING A BAD MORNING.
>> EXPLAIN TO JOHN, EXPLAIN TO
THE VIEWERS.
THE VIEWERS. >> YOU HAVE ONE OF THOSE
BALLOONS IN FRONT OF HIS --
>> NO.
>> NO.
>> NO. HE
>> NO. HE ALWAYS GIVES MY SON CEREAL
AND I CUT APPLES AND ALWAYS
GIVE THEM TO MY SON.
AND HE'S LIKE, WHY DO YOU
ALWAYS TRY TO COMPETE WITH MY
BREAKFAST?
BREAKFAST? I'M LIKE, WHOA, I DIDN'T KNOW.
>> DOES HE TOTALLY TALK LIKE
THIS ALL THE TIME?
THAT'S A HORRIBLE IMPRESSION.
>> CARA, ARE YOU VENTING TO
JOHN?
JOHN?
JOHN? >>
JOHN? >> HE STARTED LAUGHING I WAS
LIKE, WHAT?
LIKE, WHAT? >> YOU CAN'T HELP IT, BUT YOU
DO HAVE TO WATCH ANYTHING THAT
NEEDS TO BE AT THE FOREFRONT OF
YOUR MIND.
YOUR MIND. AM I SAYING SOMETHING THAT'S
GOING TO EMBARRASS THEM?
BECAUSE AGAIN WITH YOUR
FRIENDS, EVEN LIKE MY MOM, I'M
VERY, VERY PARTICULAR AND --
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> ABSOLUTELY. >> WE DISCUSS THAT EARLY ON.
YOU DON'T -- I MEAN, I DON'T
WANT MY MOM TO LOOK AT JIM IN A
DIFFERENT LIGHT OR --
>> FOR SURE.
>> OR KEIRA.
>> I DON'T CARE.
>> IT'S REALLY ABOUT THAT, LIKE
WE DON'T WANT -- THEN YOU'RE
GOING TO GO ON YOUR MERRY WAY
AND MAKE UP AND MOVE ON --
>> AND OTHER PEOPLE ARE HOLDING
ONTO THINGS FOR YOU BECAUSE
THEY LOVE YOU AND HOW HURT YOU
WERE.
WERE.
WERE. >>
WERE. >> ABOUT FAMILY PROBLEMS.
ANYTHING YOUR PARTNER SHARES
WITH YOU ABOUT THEIR FAMILY
SHOULD STAY BETWEEN YOU AND
THEM, ESPECIALLY IF IT INVOLVES
SOME KIND OF SECRET.
OKAY.
OKAY.
OKAY. ANYBODY GUILTY OF THIS?
WE HAVE TO WRAP.
SO SORRY.
SO SORRY.
SO SORRY. WE ARE HAVING SO MUCH FUN.
OKAY.
OKAY.
OKAY. STAY TUNED FOR THAT.
>> FAMILY PROBLEMS UP NEXT.
>> I'M