- Happy News Year's, you sexy, single ladies.
Now many of you are probably as hungover
as (beep) as I am today.
And I'm here to reassure you that I absolutely
do not look like this right this moment.
In fact, if you're watching this video on New Year's Day,
it's highly likely that I'm sitting on this couch
right there, eating soup dumplings, with Jessica,
celebrating our five-year anniversary.
Because yes, we did actually meet
on New Year's Day, five years ago.
But that was at a time in my life
where I could go out on New Year's Eve,
and have a crazy night out
and then on New Year's Day
be able to rally and go out again.
And now I am older and grayer, as you can see
and I can definitely only drink
maybe once or twice a month, nowadays.
But regardless of how you feel today,
tomorrow is the real start of the new year,
where you can start changing your life for the better.
And I know so many of you women out there
have strong intentions to really make this
your year to find love.
So in this video I want to start your year off
as best as I can by giving you three things
that you want to stop doing, if this is going to be
your year of finding the love of your life.
Keep watching.
(light instrumental music)
Hey there, I'm Adam Lodolce from SexyConfidence.com
where I help you create your love story and look,
this now celebrates my 10th year as a dating coach.
And I will tell you, over the past 10 years,
I have seen some crazy (beep).
I've had the rare opportunity
to work with both men and women on how to find love,
and my track record speaks for itself.
I've not only seen the things that really work
to get out there and find love,
but I've also seen the things that are really inhibiting you
from making it happen.
So in this video, I'm gonna be simply revealing
three things that are really stopping you from finding love.
Number one is to stop setting relationship status goals.
One of the dumbest goals that I hear people
make this time of year, especially because it's New Year's,
is, "I'm gonna be in a relationship by May,"
or even dumber, "I'm gonna be in a relationship
by Valentine's Day."
And the reason why this is such a dumb goal to make
is because this is simply what I call
an outcome goal.
This is the end result that you ultimately want,
and it's healthy to have an intention
to finding a relationship.
That is healthy.
But putting some type of timeline
on when you need to find that said relationship
is just silly.
Instead of setting some type of outcome goal
that says, "I need to be in a relationship by this date,"
what I'd rather you do is set what I call behavioral goals.
And these are things that are going
to actually get you to the outcome you desire.
For example, a really healthy behavioral goal
that will help you achieve that outcome
is keeping track of the number of new people
you meet every single month.
Are you going out enough?
Another really healthy behavioral goal
are just keeping track of the number of guys
you reach out to online dating.
These are the types of things that actually really matter.
Or for example, you wanna start working on
how it is you communicate with people
so that you can ultimately find a great relationship.
Maybe you'll set a goal to join
a ToastMasters class where you can learn
how to do public speaking and have the right type
of body language and really connect with an audience.
Because that is directly transferable to your dating life.
Or if you wanna work on your ability to make someone laugh,
or really be more charming in conversation,
maybe you can join an improv class.
I've taken a few improv class, they're really fun
and it's a great way to be able to just overcome
the fear of being funny in social situations.
These are very healthy behavioral goals
that will ultimately lead you to a relationship.
But in no way, shape, or form should you focus your energy
on a specific date on when you change
your relationship status from single to a relationship.
Number two is to stop relying on technology
to solve all of your dating problems.
Things like online dating and texting,
these are simply tools to be able to connect with people.
But they are not the solution unto themselves.
For example, online dating, it's a great way
to be able to meet new guys,
but it should not be your only way of meeting new guys.
Or for example, texting, it's a great way
to be able to create fun, flirtatious banter
in a relationship, but in no way, shape, or form,
does it replace any type of real, face to face
conversation with someone.
I see this all too often nowadays
where we have hard conversations
we wanna have in relationships and we're relying
on our phones to have those conversations.
So a great way to set yourself apart in 2020
from all the other women out there,
is to step outside of your comfort zone
and don't be afraid to get out and meet people
in the real world and have real world conversations.
And finally, number three is to stop thinking
that there's something wrong with being single.
You, my sexy, single lady, are not single right now
because there's something wrong with you.
It's because you haven't yet met your person.
And one thing I found as a dating coach over the years
for both men and women is that the moment
that you finally feel happy and content
with your single life, is the moment you meet someone
and they snatch you up and you're no longer single.
I see this happen all the time
with the "Sexy Confidence" club members.
They go through one of my courses
which is called "Building Your Life For Love"
and it really talks about the foundation
of building a healthy lifestyle
that naturally attracts men.
And they take that course and they implement
a lot of the techniques which, by the way,
have very little to do with dating,
but it just makes you more dateable.
And it always seems that once they take that course
and they are finally happy with their own life
and very content, it just seems like that's the moment
that a guy appears into their life.
And that is not by accident.
So don't get caught up in this fairy tale
that a relationship is going to suddenly solve
all of your problems in your life.
A relationship is simply something that supplements
your already incredible life.
So cheers to a new year of feeling more confident,
feeling more brave, and more courageous, to get out there
and get what it is that you deserve.
And I can't wait to help you every single step of the way.
And if you do wanna take that next step
and be a part of this incredible community
that's part of the "Sexy Confidence" club,
definitely head on over to SexyConfidence.com/club
There are a ton of women there
that are going to help you through every single stage
of getting out there, meeting new guys,
and be able to keep that great relationship in your life.
And also, if you enjoy the video, please give it a like,
don't forget to subscribe, and I will speak to you,
you sexy, single lady, next week.
Buh-bye.