In the most predictable development of all time, Trump is now
fundraising over the possibility that he's going to die in prison.
[LAUGH] Today as you all should be well aware by this point,
he was arraigned at a Miami federal court for
mishandling classified documents and obstructing justice.
And he immediately used as an opportunity to grift.
His communications team set out a fundraising email to his supporters or
to anyone who has signed up for these emails, I usually get them.
I got to check my inbox to see if I received it.
Mediate reported it, though, under the heading of, quote,
Trump make America great again 2024.
The email began, friend reports state that I could receive a maximum sentence of
400 years in prison despite being a totally and completely innocent man.
And then it continues on.
I honestly cannot believe I just typed those words to you.
It sounds like something Stalin or Mao did to eliminate their opposition.
But instead it's happening here in America.
Communism has finally come to our shores.
We are no longer living in the country of Washington and Lincoln.
We are living in the radical communist country of Joseph Robinette Biden.
Joseph Robinette Biden,
all be shaking in your boots as he harbors in socialism in the United States.
God, I wish it were true.
But anyway, the email continues on after fear mongering and doing red scare stuff.
For the first time in American history, the federal government has used its
prosecutorial powers to charge the leading opponent of the current regime.
Well, today is I'm sorry.
It would have been true if he had just said, for
the first time in American history, the federal government has used its
prosecutorial powers to charge a former president of the United States.
Otherwise, I don't think that that statement is true.
Anyway, while today is certainly grim and dark not for me, it's not.
Do not lose faith, as I once quotes himself,
as I said once before, with a dark cloud over our beloved country.
I have no doubt, nevertheless, that we will make America great again.
The hubris, to quote yourself in an email.
And then, of course, he asks for the cash.
He says, please make a contribution to peacefully stand with me and
save the greatest country in history for 1500% impact,
whatever the hell that even means.
It's shameless, but Ben,
I think that's exactly what we've come to expect from Donald Trump.
>> His brain is broken.
Our country is broken.
My brain is broken.
He has broken me.
I don't know what to say anymore.
I don't understand these fundraising emails, you're right.
Donate now for 15,000% impact.
50 100% impact.
Presumably that means that there are some donors that are ready to match 15 or
150 times the donation.
And if that's the fact, why do you have to even donate?
Somebody's giving way more than the amount you're gonna give anyway.
So yours is just a drop in the bucket.
Save your money, use it to buy an extra tooth or
whatever you got to do to look presentable in public.
I don't get it.
And also, who cares if he gets 400 years in prison?
His followers should love it.
He gets 400 years in prison, he'll be definitely posting on his dumb thing
from prison, and he'll be the only person in history to outlive a 400 year sentence.
He'll run for president in the year 25 23.
He'll come out.
We're gonna make America the 21st century again.
It's easy.
He'll be able to just ride it out.
The merch possibilities are endless.
Go, Trump in prison for 400 years, yay.
>> Now what I wonder is, how in the hell did Trump find himself in this position?
You know what I'm saying?
When he just wakes up at those times, he's just thinking like, how did I get here?
This is the most unnecessary position imaginable for
someone like Donald Trump to be in.
He could have stayed on TV.
He could have just invested his money.
He could have kept ripping people off.
He could have kept scamming people.
He could have done whatever he wanted.
He never needed to actually become the president.
That just brings to mind a picture of when he won the election, and
I haven't been able to see it since.
I think it was a video I saw it on years ago now.
But he had this look on him where he was scared,
like he knows he stepped in it when he won.
He didn't actually expect himself to win because he's Donald Trump.
And ever since then, life really has been just a big, chaotic mess for him.
Despite the fact that, yeah,
he stayed out of prison, he's still very popular with the Republican Party.
But he has so much problems and so many issues swirling around him.
Becoming president really was the worst mistake he ever made.
He didn't need to do it because he didn't do anything while he was in office.
He didn't do a goddamn thing while he was in office except play golf and
watch the cable outlets to see who was talking about him.
That's all he did.
>> Right?
I do like, this reminds me of all the desperate fundraising emails I've gotten,
though, from Nancy Pelosi, each more aggressive than the last.
It starts, Ray donate $5 to save Democracy, and it's slowly,
over time, it becomes, Ray, this is our last chance.
We're gonna slide into fascism if you don't donate $5 to Steady Hoyer right now.
And at the end, I was just waiting for an email that was like, Ray,
this is Nancy Pelosi.
I'm going to kill myself if you don't send me $5 in the next ten minutes.
>> No and this all kinds of tactics,
as though it's really the people I get the text messages too.
They're like, hey, it's Chuck Schumer.
No, it's not.
Okay, firstly secondly, Nancy pelosi's email is 100% factor.
Totally ridiculous.
They try all kinds of tactics.
They try to play on your emotions.
I've gotten this email legit.
Ben, I've emailed you time and again you keep ignoring me, I need you.
I need you now.
I read it, I'm like, is Pelosi trying to I don't understand.
>> Ben, I'm watching you from inside your closet right now.
Ben, I can see that you have $5 on you.
Ben trying to get in.