-Thank you for coming back. And I like the new look.
Man, I've got to say, this is a
fresh, fresh, fresh cut, you guys, just backstage.
Armie just shaved his hair.
He just shaved his head right backstage.
-Right now, yeah.
You know, I woke up this morning and I had this weird thought
where I was like, "Huh.
I hate my hair." -Yeah.
-And I got here, and you had electrical outlets,
so it really kind of worked out well.
-Yeah. Because you didn't even use the shaver.
You plugged a fork into the wall.
-That's it. That's it. Cauterized my hair.
-This is Armie shaving... This is seconds ago.
Look at this.
"Enough is enough," is what he said.
Wow! That's what I'm talking about!
See? [ Cheers and applause ]
You smell fantastic. -Oh, thank you.
-You do, 'cause last time you were here,
we talked about each other's --
-Cologne. You gave me a bottle of cologne.
-I gave you a bottle of my cologne.
-You gave me a bottle of your -- It was very sweet of you.
-Did you wear it? Did you use it?
-I used the whole bottle. -You did?
-Yeah, in like two days.
I just wanted to smell so much like you that -- Yeah.
-But what ha-- Did people compliment you?
-I actually did get a lot of compliments.
I got more compliments on your cologne
than the cologne I usually wear, and I was like, "What the hell?"
-Do you remember your first bottle of cologne
when you were growing up, when you were a kid?
-Oh, that's, like, a real rite of passage, isn't it?
-It really is. -Yeah, I do. I do.
It was -- And this is weird.
Like, it was the cologne my crush's dad wore at the time.
It was, like, Jean Paul Gaultier.
You know the one that's, like, a naked male torso?
-I do, actually, really. -Yeah.
So I was like a 12-year-old kid with, like,
a naked-man-bottle cologne.
-Wasn't it, like, a mannequin or something?
-Yeah, it was, like, an armless, headless kind of torso.
-I totally remember that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Yeah. And I had it for a while.
I mean, maybe I had it like a week or two
and then I was, like, getting ready for school one morning
and I went to grab it and I knocked it,
and it fell onto the floor and it broke all over the floor.
-Yeah, it was glass. -And I thought, "Oh, no.
Like, my cologne is wasted.
I need to take advantage of this."
And I just remember dipping my hands in it
and, like, just doing -- And literally putting it
all over me.
I had such a migraine all day.
I mean, I smelled so strongly of Jean Paul Gaultier.
-Yeah, yeah.
And, also, shards of glass wiping on your face
and blood everywhere, yeah.
-Pain is beauty.
-No, now you got to do -- You've got to, like,
kind of spray it and flow through it.
-That's what I figured.
By the way, this took me 20 years
of wearing cologne to figure out.
-I just figured it out. I'm not a cologne guy, really.
But, somehow, I had this bottle here.
I don't know how I ended up with this bottle.
It's just here. It's in my dressing room.
And I go, "Sure.
I'm not even a cologne --" But then I like the smell of it.
And I kind of dolphin.
I spray it and then I dolphin through it.
-You christen yourself. -Yeah.
And then it's like -- Whatever. All bets are off.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's just, like, a faint smell,
so no one ever standing next to you goes,
"What are you wearing?
Paco Rabanne?"
But you basically just smell nice all day.
-Paco Rabanne.
I have drawing -- I have a drawing I'm about to show.
This is your daughter. Drew a nice drawing.
And I want to just explain, before I show it to everyone,
what we're about to see.
-Yeah, so, we were in --
My wife, Elizabeth, and my daughter, Harper,
went to a wedding in India, and I couldn't go
because I had to do the press tour for this movie.
So I was in Paris.
And then they came and met me in Paris, after the wedding.
And then we stayed there for a couple days
and then we all flew back.
So, my wife and daughter were doing,
like, the sight-seeing thing.
They went to see, you know, the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower,
you know, the whole kind of -- The whole thing.
-Beautiful.
-And my daughter was jet-lagged, so she woke up one morning
at 4:00 in the morning or something and was like,
"Dad, dad, I want to draw.
I want to draw."
And I was like, "Yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay. Here, here. Go draw, go draw.
And I gave her a pad and paper.
And I kind of, like, dozed off back to sleep,
and she woke me up and she said, "Look, Dad.
I drew the Eiffel tower."
And she said, "Look -- it's big on the bottom
and it gets skinny,
and then it's got the antenna up on the top."
And then I looked at the drawing.
-There it is. There's the Eiffel Tower.
-Yeah.
And I said, "That's very good. That's a great drawing.
Okay, no more drawing -- ever."
-Ever, yeah.
I should mention, your daughter is 24 years old.
-Yeah. -Whatever.
We'll get into that later, but at least she's trying to draw.