William and Catherine attended the Royal Variety Performance and I couldn't help but notice
a very interesting difference in their handshakes.
You're about to learn a body language skill that will let you have a hint of someone's
personality...
in seconds.
Welcome back, my body language buddies!
my name is Jesús Enrique Rosas, I'm the Body Language Guy, and it would be great if you
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First, you're gonna watch a montage of the different moments where they shook hands at
this event.
Remember that whatever you pick up now, it's going to be with your intuition.
Do not try to rationalize what you see, just yet.
Let your 'fast system', the one that picks up body language signals, take control.
Here it goes:
Well, you might think that this was not fair, that you had too little time to watch, or
that Catherine's handshakes were mostly in the background so it was difficult to see,
and... you're right!
Because this is pretty much like real life.
In real life you won't have the luxury of looking straight at people's hands in high
definition, or rewind what happens, or much less watch events in slow motion.
}} In fact, most probably you'll have to keep track of the body language of more than one
person at once, so it helps if you can absorb people's nonverbal communication as a group,
rather than specific details.
But in this case, I'm going to help you, because I'll tell you exactly what you should pay
attention to.
You're gonna watch the clip again, but this time you are going to pay attention exclusively
to where William and Catherine are looking.
Nothing else.
You are analyzing handshakes, yes, but you're not going to pay attention to the hands.
Instead, focus your attention on their eyes and try to spot any difference between them.
Second try:
Yes, when you know exactly where to look, it is so much easier to spot the differences.
Because we usually think that the handshake is a greeting that only involves the hands,
when in fact it's your whole body invested in the process.
And I suggested that you should pay attention exclusively to their eyes, because eye contact
is a very important factor in handshakes.
You might have noticed a slight difference between the way William approaches these gentlemen,
and the way Catherine does exactly the same.
To be more specific, William looks inTENtly at the hand of the people he's about to greet,
while Catherine just gives a quick look, and sometimes goes for the handshake without even
looking at the other person's hand.
Now, there is something that has to be said about handshakes, and it's that you can decipher
a lot of someone's personality just by how do they execute this greeting.
It depends on the movement, on the pressure, on the kind of eye contact, but a handshake
is basically your character's business card.
So you really don't want to mess it.
But in this case we are focusing on their eyes.
The eye contact previous to the gesture itself.
In the case of William, what does it mean to look inTENtly at the other person's hand?
Well, there is no way that you can see the other person's hand without lowering your
gaze for a split second.
You have to shift your eyes down.
And at the same time, lowering your gaze is making a slight deference to the other person.
The other option is what Catherine does.
She just takes a quick look at the person's hand, or in some instances she doesn't look
at their hands at all, which means that she goes for the handshake without lowering her
gaze.
Without breaking eye contact at any point.
This version, going for the handshake without lowering your gaze is more powerful, and in
some scenarios, intimidating.
Catherine is not intimidating because she's got her genuine and warm smile.
But her handshake, is one of power.
I usually recommend to execute the handshake like this.
And I've always suggested that, when it comes to greet someone, always offer your hand first,
without breaking eye contact, and with a warm smile.
Why do I think that's a good idea?
Because in that way, you're forcing the other person to lower their gaze.
After all, you already have your hand forward.
So they are responsible to complete the handshake, so they have to actually see where your hand
is.
Again, keeping eye contact and forcing others to look down to your hand is a power handshake
that can be intimidating at times.
That's why a genuine smile helps balance that effect.
But then, why does William look down when he's going for his handshake?
I think he wants to, purposefully, give this feeling of deference.
There's also the fact that he's quite tall, so this can be a way to not look that intimidating.
In fact, there is another characteristic between the Cambridge's handshakes, that is the head
nod.
Not everyone nods when going for a handshake.
In general I think THAT can be a matter of personal preference, but if you can get used
to it, nodding when shaking hands, that's a nice addition to the greeting.
That is a signal to acknowledge the other person, and notice that both William and Catherine
have a different approach to it.
William does a single nod, which is quite strong, while Catherine does two or three
quick nods.
In this case, it's William's nod the one that is more powerful, and that's another way that
you can balance your style with body language to have an interesting handshake, which is
equal parts warm and powerful.
There is something important to remember here.
It's not that one handshake is better than the other, or that one of them is wrong, or
there is a correct form that you have to follow at all costs.
Besides the pressure of the hand, which should be firm enough under any circumstance, you
can play with factors like head nodding and eye contact to add more or less warmth to
your greeting.
This always depends on what do you want to project.
This is very important.
Because sometimes you will want to give a powerful image, or sometimes you'll want to
mix it up being a little more deferential and humble.
That's great, and that's what mastering body language is about.
That is something that you could even mix and match on the fly, depending on the person
that you're greeting.
It's like that subtle difference between William and Catherine when they are talking to these
gentlemen.
William has the tendency to frown a bit, like he's really concerned with what he's listening,
and Catherine pushes her head a bit forward, which is a signal of interest.
Two different styles of making people feel good about having a conversation with you.
None of these tips will work unless you practice them, that's for sure.
My recommendation is that you try them as soon as you can, and confirm the effect they
have in your interactions.
I'd love to know about your experience in the comments.
If you want to refine your observation skills, all you have to do is download my 100+ body
language tips, right in the description of this video.
My name is Jesús Enrique Rosas and it will always be a pleasure, my body language buddies!
Much Love, and Bliss.