You boys...
ready for the greatest night of your lives?
Spooky is more like-
We goin' ghost hunting, baby!! We goin' ghost huntin!
Who's going ghost hunting, baby?!
*Unaudible shit*
And me and you and you and just us!
But first, let's get some pie.
Yeah, definitely. I'd like some pie.
Marrie's Callendars, give us free pie for a year.Marrie's Callendars, give us free pie for a year.
The pie was good, but our timing was bad.
Parker expected us at his house by 7 o'clock.
Uhh... Parker just texted me
We were supposed to be at his place... three minutes from now!
We're probably, like, an hour away.
Tell him traffic's good.
Parker, hey!
So we sold out of posters! Pretty cool.
What's even cooler is that Parker hasn't sent me the money yet.
The equipment I've purchased was out of my own bank account.
Cool that the posters are done!
Yup!
Cool that the posters are done, but...
The money!
The money.
Is what I need next.
Second step to do anything, right?
Right.
The... the thing about that-
Ooooooohhhhh...
Every time we do this-
You just have to have a conversation. I can give you the money on PayPal.
Right now. I can do it right now.
Is there gonna be a fee?
No, it's fine.
Is there gonna be a fee?
Yeah, there's gonna be a fee, probably.
So the goal for the night was to go ghost hunting and
find extra paranormal activity.
My team was Parker and him.
Team two was gonna be Cib, James, and Jeremy.
I made sure Jeremy was part of Cib's and James' group.
Our friend, Cib, suffers from snapback syndrome.
The sound of a snap makes him fall asleep.
It is a devastating illness.
And we're trying to get him help, but
science has only progressed so far.
*Steven snaps in Cib's face*
So the plan's good or...?
Every time someone says they've seen a ghost or
seen an alien, they get ostracized
from the group. From the world, even.
And I wanted to make one rule very clear to Cib and James.
Have you ever actually matched anyone on Tinder?
I have, I went on a date with a girl on Tinder.
Was she proportional?
Ummm...
To like a whale?
*laughs*
The car ride with Parker, was unbearable.
I can only imagine the horror of Cib and James' ride with Jeremy.
To add a little gravitas to the production
I decided to stop by famous actor James Allen McCune's apartment.
I couldn't believe my only connection to the real entertainment industry
was about to be soiled by Parker's one bad kidney.
James, Cib, and Jeremy made it to the underground tunnels
but unfortunately they were unable to open up the latch.
Meanwhile I had been waiting outside of James' apartment for about 20 minutes.
I couldn't imagine the struggle of having Parker in there for that long.
Parker wouldn't stop bragging about James' generosity.
It was very upsetting.
James, Cib, and Jeremy finished up at McDonalds™, and were trying to find another way
into the underground tunnels.
James and Cib encountered some random freak
roaming about the outside of the tunnels, like a mole rat man.
That guy's like one of those kids that like-
Does "satanish" things
And like gives like a small town in the south a bad name cause-
That guy?
One kid was a satanist and killed a child.
(you have a weird mind, James)
That guy cuts off pigeon toes, and "snenzes" it
I knew I took the wrong car
when Parker's scoliosis ridden body continued to betray him.
EHHHEH! *weird demonic cough*
I knew whatever was in store for Parker
was going to be really annoying.
Speaking of annoying people, James started to question "the mole boy"
who'd given them a location to find the underground tunnels.
James was convinced to say the least.
That's when I found a line of ants
We were only five minutes from Suicide Bridge
and Parker received a parking ticket.
Actually though I actually got a parking ticket
How much is it for?
Five- ty-eight dollars
*Spooky music*
We finally made it to suicide bridge.
It was disturbing
But the architecture was pretty solid!
But still... all the bad things that happened
But cool looking bridge
James and Cib decided not to listen to "mole boy"
Instead they decided to go to James' haunted apartment
Parker's sore throat actually turned out to be more inconvenient than we previously thought
After being cursed by a psychic over two weeks ago
he still hadn't gotten rid of the demon
Shrill
Shrill, shrill
Aggghhh
Aaarghh!
AAAGGHHHH!
Oh- Steve- No!
Nope
Gotta go
This is exactly how I had hoped anyone would react
in a horror film
Watch out for the bridge there's something bad
Just get the fuck outa there
The other group was getting worried
Cib's ghost senses seemed to be tingling
While trapped on the roof
James started to open up to Cib about his fear of ghosts
While waiting to cross the street
Jeremy actually found a spot for the boys to get down from the roof
Agggghhh!
In order for Cib, James, and Jeremy to escape
they first had to stumble through someone's apartment
Open the door!
Unlock it twice
O- Unlock it twice!
Wait wrong button
I don't know how to turn on his car!
Oh, that's super creepy
Put on the brake, you push the button
Cool
Okay we're set
Seatbelts first
Just turn that off
No no are you kidding me?
Ooooh! Agghhh!
GO!
NO!
Jesus Christ!
Ahhhh!
Arrrgggghhhh!
No! No no we wouldn't do that.
You ran the car- the car was started!
No no no we wouldn't do it!
We wouldn't do it!
You were doing it!
We wouldn't do it.
I was just fucking starting to like you dude.
Hey you don't have to say it like that.
That's exactly how I meant it
I said it exactly how I meant it
We got back to Parker's house first
but the other boys joined shortly afterwards
What Up?!
What'd you get?
Love Micheal Jordan!
How'd your night go?
Weird
We had the worst night, literally!
Weird night
Like two seconds ago you said it was fun
We've had probably one of the worst nights I've ever had
Yeah, you wanna see the footage we got?
Dude, we broke into a house!
We got locked on a roof
Broke into a house
Is he- Is he..?
Oh, what's up buddy?
What'd you do tonight?
Aggggggghhhh!
*Overlapping Screams*
Guys what's happening?
What the fuck are you doing...
You guys wanna, like, rent a movie or something?
NO!
What kind of genre?
That's what we've been dealing with the whole night!
Super annoying!
What are you doing about it?
I couldn't answer Cib's qestion
I was too busy focused on the pair of heels
right next to him.
And in a house full of boys
which member of Sugar Pine 7 is gender fluid?
What if I've been using the wrong pronouns this entire time?
Living with Parker, Jeremy has learned how to deal with these recent cursed outbreaks
Sure, we didn't find any ghosts
but at least no body is going to say that we're crazy
It's nice going to sleep another night
knowing that the world 'respects' you
*DEMONIC SCREAMING*
Give him the whole dose!
Yikes yikes not...
You good?
Hey Parker!
I owe you a lot of money!
Yeah
Parker was back
Oh no man!
I know what Hell is like
What is it like?
It's actually kinda nice.
Well, any place is better than your current life.
Even the pits of Hell.
You fucking freak.