Alright folks, I have 30 minutes-- no. Less than 30 minutes before I have to leave to go to acting class
So we better make this quick
*awkward snap*
What up my beautiful people welcome back to my channel. It is me. Hello. It's Keara.
Today's video
is gonna be an advice video for all you queerios
all you gaybies
all you young
LG--
BLTs
who have some questions for an older, more mature, more wise queer person
(whispers) That would be me!
I'm joking, I don't claim to be wise or mature
You guys always ask me on my Instagram like you DM me and
ask me a bunch of questions surrounding your identity, bisexuality
LGBT--EEE
So I figured I would make an entire video on giving y'all some advice from a
from a more seasoned
LGBTer
I'm not saying like you should do these things, but these are just my opinions
My personal advice and I hope it helps you to clear some things up.
So if you want to, in the future,
Participate in some of these kinds of videos, then follow me on Instagram
Right here
because I usually ask the questions on my Instagram cuz I'm on it most of the time so yeah
Go hit me up on Instagram and say hello. I can't wait to see you there.
Also, make sure you subscribe to my channel if you enjoy my content, hit the notification bell, so you get notified when I upload
Like this video and
Comment if you wanna see more of this style of video
*wink*
Let's get into it.
Okay, so these are all anonymous
I don't want to say who sent in these questions because I did say that it's a very anonymous
Kind of advice column sort of thing
Like you see in the magazines, like ask so-and-so
so this is like an "Ask Keara"
NO.
"Ask Queera"
*clears throat*
The first question is
How to meet other queer girls and guys and make friends. I'm in a new city. It's a really good question.
that was also my concern when I was moving from the suburbs into the big city because
I was just like, how will I know where to find
fellow queer people
and this goes for friends and for love interests
If you're over like the drinking age, you can totally go to like gay bars, gay clubs
Usually big cities have like a gay village
In Toronto, it's Church and Wellesley
so if I want to like go meet some cute queer people
I would go to like a gay bar in the gay village or you could go on a gay dating app
So I think there's a dating app called 'Her' for lesbians or girls who like girls
I've never used it personally and I've never used a dating app before
but I heard that one's really cute
Just get involved in your community, like see what's going on
If you have like an LGBT community within your community
I'd check that out
Sometimes there's Facebook pages or Instagram pages. They notify people where they're holding like
LGBT meetups and stuff like that.
There was actually this one meetup in Toronto and it was a
A queer actors in film and TV meetup, and I was so stoked to go to that
unfortunately, I couldn't make it but go to those types of events and just
Mingle. Mix & mingle with the Queerios.
I need to stop saying queerios.
Okay, next question. I love dressing masculine and feminine.
One day I'm this, one day I'm that
Any advice on choosing an identity?
P.S. I'm lesbian.
Um, I feel you girl.
I also, sometimes feel like dressing super feminine some days and super masculine some days
You don't need to choose an identity
You don't need to be one or the other, you can dress
however you want to dress on the days that you feel like you want to dress like that
You know what I mean?
Like you don't have to choose one or the other
So yeah, that's my personal opinion.
I do both, like I wear both so
Yeah
So the next question is what do I do if I already came out to my parents
but they just ignore it? Even if I try to talk to them or bring it up, they just ignore it
I've also dealt with a similar situation
Sometimes
parents don't necessarily
feel comfortable with it right off the bat and maybe their way of dealing with it is them
just not bringing it up so that they don't have to talk about it.
It's not
against you it's just
don't push it, give them time to process it and
once they feel comfortable talking about that kind of thing
then I'm sure they will bring it up, or like
you'll bring it up one day and they'll actually want to have a conversation about it
But I would say, it sounds to me like they're just getting used to it and it's probably really new to them
Don't stress it. I'm sure--
I'm sure they'll come around for sure.
Oh, this is a really good one. Have you ever dealt with internalized biphobia or homophobia?
If so, how did you overcome it? I love you so much and look up to you.
Aw.
Thank you.
Yes, I have dealt with internalized homophobia.
If you haven't watched my other videos, I grew up in a very religious household
Roman Catholic
I had internalized homophobia and biphobia
Because of my religious upbringing and
that wasn't how I truly felt, it was just my conditioning.
I totally get that.
and that happens to a lot of LGBTQ people because you know, they might have grown up in a family
that wasn't super accepting of that or you know, a religion that isn't accepting in that and
How I overcame it?
I just started to see myself living a healthy life as a queer person and
I started to get used to that idea and then it just happened. I don't know!
I personally just gave myself
time to let it sink in and
of course at first I kind of freaked out because I was
conditioned to believe that it was wrong to be gay
As I started to meet other queer people and
I definitely turned to YouTube to find people who I resonated with.
I felt a lot better afterwards
I say even just watching
listening to other people's stories who just...
are open about their sexuality
And
maybe that will help you feel better.
Personally, I watched lots of YouTubers who are already out as bisexual or lesbian or whatever
And that made me feel a lot better.
So yeah, that's what I would say
Next question:
My parents respect gays and lesbians, but they think that bisexuality is a vice
and fashionable
How can I explain to them that it isn't?
Sometimes they just don't understand and
Some people are really closed-minded and don't want to open up to new ideas
That could be the case. If they don't get it, don't try and force them to
believe it
because I've tried to force people to change their minds about certain topics and they just don't
especially if they're older and set in their ways,
but you can definitely explain like
Hey, it's a
totally normal and common thing for some people to like guys and girls
Sometimes you can't change people's minds and you just have to accept it.
But I hope everything goes well.
Next question
I have no idea how to come out to my parents. Should I just wait till I get a girlfriend?
I don't think they're homophobic, but when I was a child and saw a gay couple on TV, my mom would switch it off.
Aw.
Don't feel forced to come out right away
and to be honest, you don't even need to feel forced to come out if you have a girlfriend
Your parents don't necessarily need to know about your love life
Feel it out.
If it's an unsafe situation and you know your parents are gonna
Be hostile towards you once you tell them
Then
maybe refrain from telling them until you're in a safer position
That's my advice because I wouldn't want to put you in danger
Just as a general thing
I know I've said this in previous videos, but don't
feel forced to come out and don't feel like you ever need to come out at all.
This is another good question
Mmm
Do you think that dating while in the closet is lying or morally wrong?
I don't think it's morally wrong
it's just how you feel and
you're just not ready to fully come out to the world yet. And that's 100% okay.
As long as your partner is okay with that too, because I know a lot of people don't want to date people who are
in the closet because it's hard for them to
Like maybe they want to introduce you to their parents and they can't
If you don't want to come out yet
Or if you don't want to come out ever, no one should pressure you to and I don't think it's morally wrong at all.
Do you, and as long as your partner's cool with that then, I think it's 100% okay.
Next question...
How long did it take you to find your sexuality?
I found out I was queer over a year ago and I still have no clue what the f*ck I am.
Honestly same.
I knew I was questioning my sexuality
for probably about a year
I know that doesn't seem like a long time
But I was definitely questioning it and didn't settle on a label for about a year
and then I settled on the term
bisexual for about another year
and then, now I honestly-- I don't have a label right now
That's why I just say I'm queer.
But yeah, don't feel pressured to
give yourself a label.
In this case, it sounds like you're cool with using the word queer, so
You can keep doing that.
Like no one's telling you to use another label.
Oh!! This is-- this is a relatable one.
I feel like I'm never gonna get a girlfriend because I look super straight and I have social anxiety.
How will I ever find someone?
Babe.
I feel you.
You have nothing to worry about, honestly.
It definitely is hard for queer girls who are dressed super feminine and "look straight"
to find other gay women
I had that fear for a really long time, but then I eventually found like,
they just came to me like
gay women just came to me
and I think that's probably because I'm vocal about my identity online
Like a lot of the girls that I've talked to have found me through my social media
So they already kind of know
The social anxiety part...
That's a whole different story.
I don't know if I can speak to that.
I think you just need to change...
your belief about that.
If you keep saying you're never gonna find a girlfriend because you look straight,
then you're never gonna find a girlfriend because you look straight.
It's all about mindset and if you just change that belief to...
like I am just gay and I don't need to look a certain way in order for people to accept me or
to know that I'm gay.
Be yourself and
the right person will come along when they're supposed to come along
If you truly
feel comfortable in how you are presenting, then there's no need to change it just to find partners
I think you're gonna find a partner on your own. I know that's like not really advice, but
That's what I would say. Just stay true to yourself, don't change yourself.
And just trust that the right person will come along when they come along
Okay, I'm gonna make this the last question cuz I have to get to acting class.
Hey, I want to know how to get over a girl that you're totally in love with. She's gay, but doesn't like you.
I see loads of stuff for crushing on straight girls, but there's nothing that really helps my situation
In general for getting over people...
I would say
If you're really in love with someone and they don't reciprocate feelings, sometimes
you just gotta let it go and this is such a cheesy quote
but like
"If you love someone let them go, and if they come back to you, it was meant to be"
Just focus on yourself, mainly.
And do what you love to do. Do what fulfills you and makes you happy.
Hobbies...
It doesn't mean you're not beautiful
it doesn't mean you're not a good person to talk to, it doesn't mean you're not fun or whatever.
It doesn't mean they don't like you as a person but
If the spark isn't there, it's not there and that's just the way it goes, unfortunately
It's probably not what you want to hear.
Don't go crazy by like creeping their Instagram all the time
I hope you guys got something out of this video
And if you want to do a part two-- because I know there were so many more comments that I didn't get to
Let me know in the comments below if you want to see another video like this
Maybe I can do like a video series of queer advice by
Queera.
Maybe it can be called "Ask Queera"
That's so bad.
If you're down with the "Ask Queera"
video series
comment down below
those were just
personal opinions and you don't have to
do what I say, but
I'm just trying to help a fellow
Queerio, you know
I need to stop saying that!
But anyway, I really hope you enjoyed this video, and I will see you next week, I love you!
Bye!